Disclaimer: I do not own BCG or BCG 2040.
This story is rated M for shoujo-ai and hetero content, language, adult situations ect..This chapter was hard to write but I wanted to explain some of Priss's past (my version). I hope the flashback scenes at the beginning worked okay. Not sure how I feel about the Linna ending, but she is going through a big guilt stage and she is trying hard to be what she is not. Please review and let me know how you feel this story is doing.

"RUNNING BLIND"

Chapter 5- 'Days of my Decline'

Before The Great Earthquake of 2028- Tokyo

Priss can still remember the way her father smelled, warm and spicy. He worked hard to support her and her American born mother. He was patient and kind, a handsome tall Japanese man. He was quiet though, unlike her mother who was full of life, playing her guitar and teaching her daughter how to play. Instead of nursery rhymes, her mom would sing her American rock songs. Her mother loved late 20th century rock and taught her daughter to love it as well. Priss's friends used to laugh at her because she liked so called "oldies" music instead of the the latest thing.

She didn't care because though. Her mother was much cooler than other mothers and she was prettier too, with reddish brown hair and brown eyes. Priss was growing up to resemble her mother more everyday. She knew that her parents loved her and soon she would have a new baby brother. She thought she must be the luckiest nine year old girl and everything was perfect until THAT fateful day.

Days After the Great Earthquake of 2028 - Tokyo

She awoke in the hospital- with bandages wrapped around her head, covered in bruises and with an broken arm and leg. Luckily, the hospital was still standing but not much else. Tokyo had been almost completely demolished. The hospital was crammed with survivors and frantic people looking for their loved ones. It seemed someone was screaming or calling out for someone every second. Priss too, had screamed for her daddy and mommy- but they never came.

She remembered her mother pushing her to safety seconds before the building they were in had fallen. She remembered thinking that she would never meet her baby brother since he was still inside her mother- who was underneath all the rubble of the building. Daddy had been at work when the earthquake hit. After weeks alone in the hospital, someone from his office had finally come to let her know he didn't make it.

Soon she was well enough to leave the hospital and she and some other children were taken to a orphanage. It was filled past capacity due to all the kids that were left orphans. She had never felt so alone.

She lost her entire family. Her grandparents hadn't survived either and most of her mother's family from America were dead. So she was on her own at nine. Then she met Chad, the only other kid that she got along with really well. They both loved music and he was 11. They became each others surrogate brother & sister. They hated the orphanage, and escaped out of there. They lived by their wits on the streets.

They would come to do things to survive that she wasn't proud of. But she had no other option at the time. These experiences turned her from a carefree girl to a withdrawn, untrusting and somewhat cold person.

Sept 2nd 2041- Tokyo- Sylia's house- 10:30 am

Priss decided that it time to go back to her trailer and finish recovering there. She couldn't stay with here forever, she knew that Nigel needed his wife back and not busy babysitting her. The first thing her friend had done was to flush all the pills of Chad's down the toilet, it took many times so it wouldn't clog the pipes. She flushed them in front of Henderson and Priss, after she had accused Sylia of taking them with plans to stash them for herself. So Sylia had made a great show of disposing of them with a audience present. The singer cried as she watched the pills wash away.

After Sylia had flushed the pills, they talked.

"So you think those pills made me so depressed?" the singer asked, as the woman sat together in the guest bedroom.

"Yes, like I said before, you already have a depressive personality and then when you drink, it's all too much for you to realize how it affects you." the older woman said, softly. "As you pointed out, I've been there too."

"What do I have now, Sylia? Tell me! There's no more Knight Sabers, no more Linna, no more Chad! Nothing! It's like everything I love, I lose!" Priss cried out painfully.

"You have your band and you have me and friends that love you! You are still so young, you're beautiful and talented. You are the best Knight Saber I have and you saved the world! You have a lot to be proud of." Sylia told her softly as she put her arm around the weeping woman's shoulders.

"I did a lot of bad things when I was living on the streets. I stole and even turned tricks to earn money. I was 13 years old and a underage prostitute." Priss blurted out, then began crying harder.

"Priss, I am sorry you had to go through that. You didn't know what to do, did you? It's okay, everybody has something they did that they are ashamed of. You really had no choice, did you?" Sylia said, figuring that Priss's past had been like this. She had a file on it actually.

"Not really, Chad turned tricks too and we shared our money so we could get food or a place to stay. It turns out Chad was gay and doing tricks with men and then I found out I liked women more than men. I did some tricks with women but men is what kept the money coming in. I felt like such trash. I was sexually confused and had to earn a living this way. Thank God that Roy showed up." Priss said as she looked at her friend seriously.

"He saved me, Sylia! He was this cop who started watching after me and Chad. He was a pain in the ass, but he found me and Chad a boarding house to live in and bought us food. When I asked him Why? Why would he do this for a street rat like me and he told me I looked just like his daughter who had died of cancer years earlier. He adopted me and Chad in a way. I didn't have to to be a prostitute anymore. Then he was killed by a boomer when I was 15. That really sparked my hatred of the boomer's. He looked just like Leon McNichol too. I think I took up with Leon as a way to work through my pain at losing Roy. I must be poison to all the men around me." Priss said as she stood up and laughed bitterly.

"I bet you're thinking how bad I am and how sordid my past was. No wonder I never thought I was good enough for Linna. I was some sullied orphan prostitute and she was little miss fresh and innocent athlete girl from a good country family! She's just perfect except she's gay! She said I was her first lover, but I bet she groped and kissed a couple of girls in high school, cause she seemed to know what she was doing!" she laughed, somewhat bitterly as she talked about her ex.

"I never told Linna about what I did. I was too ashamed. She probably would have left me over that had she knew. I guess she really isn't coming back..She hasn't called me or emailed me." Priss said sadly.

"She hasn't kept in touch with Nene either. She never bothered to even say goodbye to me. I keep hoping for a letter or email but she's made no attempt. I think something is wrong with her, Priss. You may have treated her worse than you realized due to your addiction, but she had some internal conflict going on inside her. I think she's feeling ashamed and guilty over being gay. I overheard her with her dad on the phone one day, and I think he was laying a guilt trip on her because she wasn't married with kids. I remember her crying as she hung up the phone and saying she left her family down." Sylia remembered, wanting to comfort Linna at the time. But her leader did not know how without letting the younger woman know she had eavesdropped.

"I wouldn't doubt it! He used to call her and bitch at her all the time about coming home and fulfilling her family duty. Since she was the only child, I guess they are hoping she will give them grandkids. I knew she was terrified about telling her folks. It's my fault, I should have gotten her a ring and asked her to marry me even if it wouldn't be legally recognized but it would have felt real to her. I just wasn't ready." Priss said as she began to pack her overnight bag to take home.

"Are you ready now to make such a commitment?" Sylia asked.

"It looks like it's too late for that." the younger girl said, dejectedly.

Sept 2nd 2041- Yamazaki residence- 10:30 am

Linna was sleeping late and was in the middle of a dream. She dreamed of her ex-lover, of the way her lean body was soft and curved in just the right places. She remembered the chocolate colored spiky hair that would brush against her stomach as she was busy between Linna's open thighs. The way her lover knew exactly where and how to touch her. The way she would fill her up and drive her wild with pleasure. Priss could be like a wildcat at times, then other times be so slow and gentle. It was always a new experience making love with her. It seemed she always knew some new way to enhance the act. It wasn't just sex between them, but passion and love. The way they used to kiss and touch each other. She could imagine the singer's hands and mouth on her breasts right now, stroking and teasing. She could feel their bodies rubbing against each other and feel the hot kisses all over her face and neck as she rocked her body against her lover. "Ah..!" she heard herself cry out.

Linna opened her eyes and groaned. (It had only been a dream). She hoped that her mom or dad did not hear her. DAMMIT! She couldn't get her mind off of Priss.

Linna had a date with Masaki tonight. She had to forget about her ex girlfriend. She just had to!. That part of her life was over now. She owed it to her family that they would have grandchildren. Priss couldn't give her that, she wasn't even giving her love or attention before Linna left. She might have a chance for happiness with Masaki. (Just forget about her, forget about your needs! You need to forget about your old life. You are not a hero anymore. If you can't please your family you are worthless. The only way to be a hero again is to forget your ex and become what you should be. A normal wife and mother!

(You are betraying yourself, Why? You love Priss, why are you punishing yourself? Accept who you are!) said a voice in Linna's head.

Linna ignored the voice and got ready for the day, knowing there were things that needed to be done before her date tonight.

Chapter 6- "The Difference between Them"