The Roy Mustang Guide to Spring Cleaning

Roy Mustang's apartment was quite clean nine months of the year, but during winter, it became messy. Very, very messy. Winter was a time of hibernation for many animals, when they did nothing but sleep, and occasionally wake to feed. Roy did exactly that, or he would have, if he did not have to work.

Sadly, since just about all he did was eat, sleep, and work because he wanted, like most animals, to hibernate, his apartment tended to show it after a while. Thus, when spring arrived, his apartment really needed some TLC.

His winter habit had grown on him, though. On weekends –when he had them off- he would sleep until ten or even eleven!

Riza Hawkeye, usually the assistant in all of the spring cleaning that went on at his apartment, was usually there promptly at eight in the morning. Thanks to a trick Roy himself had taught her about his apartment door, she could usually get in without waking him.

This particular year, she had decided that she had waited long enough. At nine o' clock sharp, she tapped his shoulder sharply.

No response.

Another sharp tap, maybe?

Not working.

"Come on, wake up," she sighed exasperatedly. "I haven't got all day, you know."

And then the weirdest thing happened: Roy wrapped his arms around her waist.

It was all Riza could do to keep somewhat on balance while settling down on the bed in the space of half a second.

Then again, if I'd just sat, I'd probably have woken him up. I'll just get him to let me go, then wake him up.

She gently attempted to loosen his grip for a few minutes, not having any success whatsoever. A laugh made her twist and look down. Apparently, he was awake.

And it was more than apparent that Riza was not happy about it.

"Give me a reason not to leave you to clean your own apartment right this minute," she demanded.

Roy's sleepy smirk widened devilishly. "You can't break free."

Riza let out a sharp breath. "Another reason. Now."

"You don't have a gun on you."

Damn. He was right. She had left it in the kitchen when she went for water. "Another."

"You know it'll just stay this way until you help, and you wouldn't let me live in my own filth like that," reasoned Roy.

"I wouldn't have to if I didn't have to make sure you stayed alive now then, would I?" she snapped back.

Uh-oh. If she was making those comments, he had pushed to far. He immediately let go. "Sorry. That was childish of me to push that far. I didn't mean that you're a maid or anything, though everyone knows that you work like one sometimes. A maid and a nanny."

Riza raised a hand. "Just let it go, please. This place needs cleaning before you get sick."

FOUR HOURS LATER

"That's it. We're breaking for lunch." Roy looked up from his dusting momentarily, not a hint of merriment in his face. "And I really will tie you to a chair if it comes down to that. You're taking a break."

Deciding it was better to comply than risk a repeat of that morning, Riza obediently sat in the kitchen as Roy fixed a pair of sandwiches.

She received hers open-faced, and took a moment to examine it before covering it. The words "I'm sorry" had been spelled in mustard. Riza allowed herself to smile. "You weren't thinking clearly when you woke up. I accept your apology, though it would mean more if it was actually spoken and not written on something I'd like to eat."

"Oh believe me, I was thinking quite clearly," Roy told her, still with no hint of joking.

If it had not been entirely in her nature to have little visible reaction to most things, the fact that Riza's expression changed very little (just a hint of pink, a quick and self-conscious look around, and the slight raising of eyebrows) would have made Roy somewhat uncomfortable. As it was, he could never really tell what was going on inside her head. She was one hell of a mystery, and he had known her for just about one third of his life.

"You were, were you?" she asked cautiously at last.

Roy nodded. "I was. Is there anything that leads you to believe otherwise?"

"Other than the fact that you don't usually grab me without letting go, not really," Riza answered evenly, attempting to figure out what was going on.

"Then maybe I should do that more often."

"Pardon you?" Riza could not hide the change in her expression this time. The meaning was perfectly clear.

Looking away, Roy muttered, "Sorry. That wasn't-"

Riza began to interrupt, "No I…" She thought for a moment. "I just didn't think that you found me attractive at all."

"Then you haven't been paying attention."

"I try not to; my work wouldn't get done if I did."

Roy let out something between a laugh and a sigh, leaning back in his chair. "Please. You get your work done by n-" He stopped as he crashed to the floor, having tipped his chair back too far.

Riza gasped and hurried around the table. "Are you okay?"

"Owwww…" was the answer she got. "My head…"

"Where exactly?" she wanted to know.

"The whole back of my head." Roy still hadn't opened his eyes.

Trying not to think of concussions and what one could do, Riza forced herself to ask, "Are you dizzy at all? Short of breath?"

Roy blinked and opened his eyes. "Yeah…" He grabbed Riza's wrist as she staggered to her feet to call a doctor. "But that's the way I get when I think of you."

The pitch of her voice shifted up just a little from embarrassment, even considering just how lame the line was. "Please, be serious. If you're hurt, I need to know."

"No, I'm fine. And even if I wasn't…"

He had been slowly inching himself up off the floor for a while now, and closing the six-inch distance between them was not all that hard.

"…that would've made it all better."

Riza sighed and settled back rather steadily. "We need to get back to work. If you're going to make this place presentable for any company, myself included, it has a long way to go."

It was just a little mean, exploiting those feelings, and it made her just a little guilty, but if she was going to be spending more time there, it really would be nice to have it clean.

END

A/N: Next up: The RIZA HAWKEYE Guide to Proving Yourself. That's right! Riza's the real star for a chapter! Yay!

By the way… I'm sorry for not updating sooner. Events far beyond my control occurred, and we'll just leave it at that. HOWEVER, I also have finals coming up in the next few weeks, so I won't be back to regular posting before the second full week of June. Not that I do much in the way of chapter stuff, but just so you know…