The Riza Hawkeye Guide to Proving Yourself

Summary: It's Havoc's birthday, and a comment made at the party held for him leads to a rather interesting course of action. A more serious one, even getting just the slightest bit angsty, though I threw a funny moment in there. Let's just say that the art of falling out of chairs is something I bequeathed to a certain character.

Also, this one's sorta OOC. I know, I know. Bear with me, PLEASE! This one segues into the next, sort of, so it was necessary.

It was a little-known fact that Riza Hawkeye actually enjoyed parties, and even more so that she enjoyed the parties thrown by her co-workers.

Havoc's birthdays were some of the best, usually because of how worked up he would get about "Another year without not getting turned down by a girl!"

This was usually followed by sobbing. While everyone would try to comfort the poor man, it was comical to see the way he went to pieces. He would slowly turn into a mass of blubbering man for a while, but then someone would remind him of presents or cake or dinner, and he would immediately brighten up.

Of all years, this was the one that someone decided to point out that Riza had no significant other to speak of, either.

"But it's Hawkeye!" He protested. "She's not romantic!"

The room fell silent as Riza shifted in her seat, her eyes narrowing. "Excuse me, Havoc?"

"You aren't, though!" Havoc was still whining, though he seemed to have lost the conviction he had had. "Not when I'm around, anyway!"

"That doesn't mean I can't be romantic," she pointed out.

Havoc saw his chance. "Then prove it."

Riza had half a mind to tell him that that would technically be acting. However, the rational side of her brain told her that he would just use that against her. She sighed. How to go about this?

She had several options. She did not like any of them. For one thing, there were only military men in the room. For another, she had no idea as to how far she had to go to convince him.

I need someone who won't get the wrong idea. Someone I've known for a while. Someone who's not Havoc… And I can't be sure about the first one. She debated for a moment or two, then made her choice. She was likely dooming herself to teasing for the rest of her life (they would find her even if she ran, she was sure), and the thought crossed her mind that fraternization charges could be brought against them. Be that though it was, Havoc's apartment was relatively safe from prying eyes, so she had no case there.

There was no other choice, as far as actually giving proof was concerned. Running was always an option, and a good one at that, but Riza Hawkeye had pride. Her life was not in danger. She would not lose her job -not likely anyway. With no out, she knew she had to act.

Calmly as she could seem, she pushed back her chair and walked over to the only person in her room that would be thoroughly convincing enough, if past interactions were any indication. With a look and a half-sigh that signaled sure doom, she sat herself in Roy Mustang's lap and promptly proceeded to kiss him.

This would have been enough to impress Havoc and the rest of them, and, in fact, it was at the time, but it did not stop with the one slow kiss she gave him. The kisses that followed were proof of the highest order that Riza Hawkeye could be romantic. (One had to wonder if Maes was onto something…)

Finally, when an end had been reached for lack of breath, Kain Fuery had landed on the floor after falling out of his chair in sheer surprise, and the four on-lookers were nursing severe nosebleeds.

"Convinced?" she breathed, still holding Roy's intense gaze with one of her own.

Everyone nodded. Nobody dared not to. Even Roy nodded, though that might have meant something else entirely- she did not know. She could not see straight, think straight, or even walk straight for that matter, though she had attempted only the first two.

"Well, I'll be-" she attempted to raise herself from her seat, but it was Roy who pulled her back down.

The men waited, wondering what the hell they did not know, though Riza seemed just as clueless as them for once. Kain, careful not to make any sudden moves, moved back into his chair.

"Riza, that was…" Roy Mustang, famous for his way with the ladies, was lost for words. Havoc would have celebrated by dancing if this had occurred with any other girl, but it was Riza. One did not mess with circumstances such as these. "I… Would you like to go out some time? And after that? And then again?"

Now they waited for the answer. Riza carefully kept her face blank as she went over her options again, though she did not need to. She had made the unconscious choice a long time ago, partially due to a talk with Gracia. "Yes, Roy. I will be your girlfriend." She almost winced at the word, and Roy did visibly. Fuery fell out of his chair again.

"W…o…w…" Havoc croaked. "I…"

"Attempting to explain things isn't your best course of action right now, Havoc," Riza informed him, walking back over to her seat. "I suggest you forget this night as soon as possible."

Four voices timidly chorused, "Ma'am."

LATER

It was a short walk back to her apartment, but it seemed to take forever. There was still a tense awkwardness between herself and Roy. The way he glanced at her every so often made her feel something in her stomach fizz and spark. It was an amplification of a reaction that had occurred for years in these sorts of situations with him, but Riza still did not have it figured out, and she had the feeling that she did not want to.

"Listen Riza, I-"

"Roy, you know-"

Oh great. Regression. That was really what the relationship needed right now. It was bad enough that speaking earnestly was not conducive to their job, but having drifted back to a high-school method of speech was salting wounds, and it stung like hell.

"I have to go. Long day tomorrow. We celebrated too much today." Riza started toward the building again, but Roy caught her hand.

"You didn't mind, did you?" he asked anxiously.

"If I don't like it, I don't do it -you know that by now," Riza chided gently, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "And, as a general policy, I don't often say what I don't mean, either. Tonight was not an exception."

"Riza I-" Roy stopped himself, looking a little guilty, but also pained. "Good night."

Giving him a small nod, Riza let go of his hand and quickly made for her apartment. She had said it was going to be a long day, but she had that same gut feeling she had had earlier that the night would be even longer.

END

A/N: The line about Roy wincing will play a big part when all of this comes to a head in the end, as well as the second line he stops saying toward the end of this one ("Riza, I-"). Though, if you call yourselves fans of Royai, I hope you've put two and two together by now.

Thank you to all my lovely reviewers! Azilie, Silver Mist, winglessfairy25, i'llwait, False-Image, OTP, Danelle, Sabrielle, E. Mahiru, unheardgoodconscience, HunTResS ARasHi, Kurissyma san Tybalt, and Firing Rockets on Dragons. You all have made the writing, editing, and posting of this well worth while! Thanks for sticking with me, and please continue to do so! There's more on the way! (As well as a batch of e-brownies… which I can't burn. Or good foodstuffs of your choice if you're impartial to chocolate, and yes, I know a few people who are.)

The rest of my readers (If you really exist… ;mopes in a corner;): Please review! You seriously make my day! And I seriously need more joyful happiness in my life! For the love of Royai, almost-crackfics, and good e-foodstuffs of your choice, PLEASE!