Angela arrived back at her parents house to find Rickie and Rayanne sampling Graham's latest dish. She smiled at them, glad to see face's that would understand her predicament.
"Hey Guys! " She smiled.
"Angela, it's been too long girlfriend" crooned Rickie as he gave her a huge kiss on the cheek. She hugged him tightly, Rickie had been out of the country for the past few months and she had missed him terribly.
"Hey Angela, why are you wearing boy's clothes?" queried Graham, clearly confused. "Oh, I um, got soaked in the rain so Jordan lent me some clothes" she muttered quietly, knowing what her dad was about to say.
"You've seen Jordan? When? Angela , you're engaged to Matt remember, you can't go swanning round Catalano's whenever you feel like it now" He was clearly annoyed that She had contacted Jordan. He knew how much pain his daughter went through whilst dating that man and also knew it was the reason why she decided to move in the first place.
"Dad it was fine, really" she gave him a quick hug and motioned to Rayanne and Rickie that they were to go up to her room.
They got up in silence and headed upstairs to Angela's room.
Rayanne flounced onto her bed, and immediately starting quizzing Angela about her liaison with Jordan.
"So Angela, spill it...What happened?" She sat up crossed legs, clutching Angela's pillow in anticipation of a good gossip.
Angela thought back to what had happened with Jordan and started to cry again. Rickie and Rayanne immediately rushed to her side and comforted her.
"Aw sweetie, don't cry...what on earth happened?" asked Rickie, concerned.
"I couldn't say what I needed to say to him, and as usual I managed to totally fuck up" she cried.
Angela relayed the whole story to Rickie and Rayanne who listened intently. They never once interuppted her and they let her finish what she had to say before giving their advise.
"First and foremost you need to end this relationship with Matt Ang, it's based on a lie and it will hurt him more if you go ahead and marry him" Rickie had never sounded so serious before.
Rayanne nodded enthusiastically in agreement with Rickie. "Then you need to sit Catalano down and talk to him Angelica, I mean really talk.."
Angela shook her head. "I can't face Jordan again, not yet. The thing with Matt I'll do when he gets back. I'll ring him in a minute and explain that we need to talk when he gets back, I'm not dumping him over the phone"
Rayanne looked thoughtful, "want me to go see Catalano?"
Rickie and Angela looked at her in shock. They both then looked at each other and shook their heads laughing.
"Raynie, I really don't think that that would be a good idea" Rickie was looking at her as if she'd committed murder.
"No seriously, he still talks to Tino, we've spoken on the phone..I think He'd maybe talk to me"
Angela shrugged. All that had happened between Jordan and Rayanne was in the past, they were well over that and Angela no longer felt upset about the whole thing, they were foolish kids back then and Angela had accepted their apologies.
"Rayanne, if you think you can help, then go for it..I can't lose anything else can I?"
"Ok I'll go now, give me his clothes back Angela, I'll see him now before it gets too late."
Angela reluctantly changed and handed her Jordan's clothes.
"Good luck" said Angela, he was hoping on the miracle of all miracles and as it stood , Rayanne was the once to achieve this.
Jordan was stretched out on his sofa absent-mindedly watching television, he wasn't really watching the program, it was something to try and distract his thoughts of Angela cluttering his head.
He was disturbed by an impatient knocking on his door.
"Hold on already will ya..geesh I'm coming..." He answered the door and was faced with Rayanne Graff grinning at him, he noticed she had a carrier bag containing the clothes he lent Angela.
"Yo Catalano" She smiled as she sailed past him and placed herself on one of his armchairs. Jordan was perplexed, the last person he expected to see was Graff.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, scratching his head. Rayanne looked at him with a serious expression etched on her face.
"You and I need to talk Catalano, there's some things you need to know about Angela and why she's like she is with you.."
Jordan nodded and sat down on the chair opposite her. "I'm all ears" he said.
Rayanne tucked her legs underneath her, as if about to tell a child a bedtime story. "Angela has always and will always be totally in love with you man" she started.
Jordan raised his eyebrows in dis-belief at what Rayanne had just told him "Suuuuuuuure she is" he muttered under his breath.
"Jordan, do you really think it was easy for her to just leave you like she did? I mean, c'mon man think about it. You guy's were stoked about the baby, you were ecstatic as was Angela. You guy's had you're whole future mapped out. You two have never really been able to properly open up to each other, when you do start to make progress and communicate, you both suddenly take 3 steps back and it turns into a fight, you're both so fuckin stubborn. Jesus!"
Jordan nodded in agreement, he couldn't deny that listening wasn't his strong point. Jordan had always seen things in Black and White, never the in-between shades.
"Yea ok..you're right...How do you explain her leaving like that then?" he questioned.
Rayanne sighed and continued. "Jordan she lost your baby, she felt like she had let you both down. She could see how much you were hurting and she too was a complete wreck. She didn't know how to move on from it, she couldn't look at you without seeing the pain that the miscarriage had caused. She tried to talk to you man, but you're way of dealing with it was burying your pain with alcohol..Man..She couldn't watch you self destruct. She thought that your lack of talking was because you resented her and she couldn't deal with that. She thought you blamed her Jordan. She blamed herself and felt a failure as a woman. I was there Jordan, I saw the self-loathing she felt for herself.."
Jordan looked at he floor, his feet, anything that would prevent him from making eye contact with Rayanne, If he looked at her she would see the tears in his eyes and he wasn't about to cry in front of Graff..Not in a million years.
"I never once blamed her Graff" he whispered softly.
"No, not verbally I agree" she nodded "but, you pushed her away Jordan whether it was unintentional or not, you pushed her away. You refused to talk about the miscarriage and tried to pretend that it never happened. You backed away from her , wouldn't hold her and most importantly wouldn't grieve with her. You turned to drink, you got moody and Angela saw that as anger towards her..That's why she left..She figured you'd be better off without her"
Jordan looked up, his eyes puffy. " I was selfish, I love her so much it hurt to look at her so crushed. I wanted to tell her it'd be ok and that we'd get through it, but I was too afraid to upset her more. I wanted to hold her but I didn't want her thinking that I was pushing her , I wasn't intimate with her 'cos I was scared of going through it all again.."
Rayanne nodded sympathetically "Jordan..You should be saying this to Angela, you should have said this years ago"
Jordan swallowed hard "Yup, I know..When she left..I couldn't like..bring myself to ring her, she left to get away from me Rayanne.."
Rayanne stood up and handed Jordan his clothes. "You should have damn well followed her Catalano" she said sombrely.
"So how come she got engaged if she's still in love with me Graff?" he asked.
"She's fooled herself into thinking she could move on Jordan, she threw herself into the first relationship she could after you. You've heard of rebound right? Well, that's exactly what she's done. Her fiance is a lot like you in many ways, thing is he's not you. Angela knows that and she realises now that she can't go ahead and marry him. She'll be finishing with him Jordan.
My question to you Catalano, is this..Are you ready to step up to the plate and actually talk to her, or will you carry on going round in circles? 'Cos I'm telling ya man..You guy's need to sort this out one way or another, once and for all"
Jordan rubbed his eyes and sighed sadly."I don't know what to say or do" Rayanne gave Jordan a hug and whispered into his ear "Yes, you do. You tell her what you just told me and you listen to her. You guy's need to grieve together and then, only then can you move forwards"
Jordan kissed Rayanne on the cheek and smiled "Thanks Graff, I like this new you..It suits you..being like..calmer.."
Rayanne laughed and gently punched Jordan's arm "It's called growing up Catalano, that and having a Tino"
Jordan laughed and walked Rayanne to the door "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at the reunion?"
Rayanne nodded her head excitedly" you sure will...It'll be a blast"
Jordan smiled and saw Rayanne out of the door "Let's hope so" he smiled.
As Rayanne walked away Jordan called out to her "HEY GRAFF!"
Rayanne spun round and looked at him "yea?"
Jordan smiled "Thanks, and tell Tino I said hey"
Rayanne saluted him and headed back to Angela's house. She was filled with a sense of satisfaction that she could possibly have sorted things out for someone rather than added to the carnage.