November:

It took a week for Santana to find a place to live, but she kept her word and moved out, taking Daisy with her. It was really hard to explain to Ava that they were going to be moving the kids around between two places, but Santana really believed that it was for the best. Feelings had gotten too entangled with Brittany and the longer they lived together, the more complicated things were going to get. The house she found was only a short term rental, but it would give her enough time to find something else, a more permanent place where the kids could settle in during the half time that she had them. Something with a yard maybe, a pool, as if things in her house could fill the emptiness she felt in her chest every time she thought about the fact that she didn't live with Brittany anymore.

The day she moved out, it hurt. It felt like her and Brittany were breaking up again, but this time, there were kids involved. She promised Ava that she'd pick her and JJ up the next day, that they'd love the new house, that they would still do things together, but all of it felt hollow. The way Brittany looked at her just made her feel awful, but deep down, she felt like she was doing the right thing, she felt like it was the only way to keep everyone from getting hurt. The fight they'd had the morning after she'd spent the night at Wendy's had just dredged up too much for her, just made her feel completely awful and out of control and had reminded her of all the reasons why she couldn't even try to make it work with Brittany.

For the kids' sake, Santana and Brittany agreed to take the kids to the mall to see Santa together the morning after Thanksgiving. Brittany had had them for the morning the day before and then Santana had them in the evening and overnight, so she let Ava get dressed in her red and white dress and put JJ in khakis and a bow tie and then she drove over to the house to pick up Brittany. They didn't say anything to each other in the car, they both just responded to Ava when she talked to them. It felt like the first birthday party that they were at after they'd broken up, where they had no choice but to share the same space, but neither of them really wanted it.

"Aunt Santana, am I sleeping in the little house tonight?" Ava asked from the backseat. "Or at my house?"

"You're going to sleep at your house tonight. After we see Santa, I'm going to drop you off with Aunt Brittany."

"Can you have a sleepover there with me?"

"I wish I could, kiddo, but I have to go back to my house."

"I don't like it." She pouted. "I don't like it at all."

"I know you don't, but it's just how it has to be."

"I don't think that's fair. You didn't ask me if I wanted you to go live in the dumb little house and now Aunt Brittany is grumpy and you live far away and I can't come in your bed every morning."

"Why don't you go into Aunt Brittany's bed when you're there?"

"Because I always go into your bed. That's the rules."

"Ava." Santana sighed and Brittany was silent.

"This is worse than when you were shrinky and Aunt Brittany made faces. At least then you still both read me bedtime stories and had breakfast with me."

"I know, kiddo. It sucks for me too."

"Then come back! Do you not like me?"

"Honey, of course I love you. But remember how we talked about how Aunt Brittany and I aren't girlfriends? Sometimes it's hard for grownups to live with someone who isn't their girlfriend."

"I think that's dumb. Is Wendy going to move into your house with you?"

"No, Wendy isn't going to move into my house. I promise this has nothing to do with Wendy and it has nothing to do with you."

They got to the mall and the line for Santa was impossibly long. JJ was crying halfway through and Ava was so antsy that she couldn't stand still. It seemed like every kid was freaking out, but since they had committed to this, Santana figured they had to see it through. She pulled snacks for the kids out of her bag and Brittany took out a coloring book for Ava. At least when it came to the kids, they were on the same page and Santana was grateful for that. She wondered if this was what divorced parents felt like, if coming together for the kids was at least some kind of common bond that kept them from killing each other. She looked down at Ava who colored contentedly on the floor under her feet and she took a sharp breath.

"This sucks."

"It's the day after Thanksgiving, everyone is suddenly in the Christmas spirit." Brittany shrugged. "What did you expect?"

"I didn't exactly expect a crying kid on line to see Santa. I just want this to be a good experience for them."

"JJ's fine now."

"Yeah, I know, but still. Anyway, how have you been?"

"Fine."

"That's it?"

"Honestly, Santana, I think we should just keep our conversation to the kids."

"Is that how it's going to be?"

"I thought that was how you wanted it."

"Brittany—"

Before Santana could say anything else, Brittany turned away from her. Was that what she wanted? Santana just couldn't decide. She guessed that if she was going to wish for anything, she'd wish she could go back in time three years. She would have actually talked to Brittany after the accusations came. She would have told her how hurt she was. She would have tried to fix things. She would have told Cass and John never to get in the car they day they did. She would have just fixed everything so she could have been happily living with Brittany in their apartment, visiting John and Cass and the kids, probably having a kid of their own. But wishes weren't real, she knew that more than anyone and there was just no point in wishing for anything that couldn't come true.

Another hour passed and Santana had gotten to the point where she was sure they couldn't possibly wait any longer. Brittany had already taken JJ into the bathroom to change his diaper, Ava was whining and the sound of kids screaming made Santana want to tear her hair out. She had no idea why she thought this was going to be fun, why she'd been the one to even suggest doing it in the first place, but she decided then and there that next year, they were going to pull the kids out of school and take them on a day where no one else was around. But then, they were next and all of Ava's whining stopped when she finally got a view of Santa Claus.

"Am I on Santa's nice list this year?" Ava asked, hopping between feet.

"I definitely think you are, sweetheart." Brittany smiled at her and adjusted one of her braids. "You've been a really good girl."

"Last year, he didn't bring me what I wanted to for Christmas." She reminded Santana, who sighed sadly. Santana felt a pang in her chest but she breathed through it, not letting Ava see her sadness.

"Let's hope this year you're wishing for something that's possible for Santa to give. Do you still want that American Girl doll?"

"That's not what I want the mostest."

"What do you—?" Santana was cut off by the woman dressed as an elf telling them that it was their turn and Ava squealed with delight.

"Santa! Santa!" She cried, rushing into his arms while JJ eyed the bearded man warily before Brittany handed him over.

"What did she want last year?" Brittany murmured and Santana knew that she was thinking that they must have disappointed her on her first Christmas with them.

"Same thing we all wished for, for Cass and John to come back. I just don't want her to be disappointed for the second year in a row."

"If we could have given her that, we would have."

"I know." Santana shook her head.

She watched as Ava climbed up on Santana's lap and she smiled. If nothing else had happened throughout the year, at least Ava was much happier. She and Brittany might have had their issues but she thought that they'd probably been exactly the kind of influence that John and Cass had wanted for their kids. They made Ava smile. They made JJ feel safe and loved. Christmas was going to be difficult for Santana because she wasn't going to spend Christmas Eve in the house with the kids, but it was a consolation knowing that it would be good for the kids.

"I'm Ava." Ava announced to Santa, pointing to herself. "I'm six."

"And who's this little guy?"

"That's my brother JJ. And that's my Aunt Brittany and that's my Aunt Santana. They live in different houses now even though they used to live together in my house. My Mommy and Daddy are dead."

"Looks like you're still pretty lucky to have so many people who love you." Santa chuckled awkwardly and Santana wondered what he could ever possibly say to some kind of confession like that. "And what is it you want me to bring you for Christmas this year."

"Sometimes you're not very good at bringing me what I want." She told him authoritatively, furrowing her brow at him. "So I don't know if you're going to bring me my bestest present this year."

"Well I sure can try. Give it a shot."

"I want Aunt Santana to not live in the little house anymore. I want her to come back home and sleep in her regular room so I can get in her bed every day and not just when I sleep in the little house."

"You know Ava, that's not something I can make in my toy shop." Santa looked between the two adults.

"You said that last year too, when I wanted you to bring my Mommy and Daddy back to me. Everyone says Santa is magic but I don't think you're very good at Christmas."

Santana felt as if all the wind had been knocked out of her. How could she, in any sort of good conscience, allow Ava to be sad on Christmas for a second year in a row? But she'd made her decision. Living with Brittany wasn't good for her, especially when they still had so much unresolved between them. She took a deep breath, trying to get air into her lungs, and she cast a sideways glance and Brittany who just looked sad. They were seeing Santa, it was supposed to be a happy day, so she tried her best to paint on a smile. Ava looked pointedly at her and she cracked her back, trying not to let her see in her eyes that she was going to have to let her be disappointed again.

After the pictures were taken of the kids with Santa, they left the mall and Santana listened as Ava was quiet in the backseat. Brittany, unsurprisingly, hadn't said anything since Ava's revelation and when they got back to the house, she got out of the car with just a quick goodbye. Santana went around back and got JJ out, before helping Ava get unbuckled and Ava looked her straight in the eye.

"Aunt Santana, why can Santa never give me what I want?"

"I think…kiddo, that Santa is much better at giving things than people."

"I don't think that Santa is very good at being Santa."

"He tries really hard, Aves. But like I told you last year, his magic can only go so far."