Many thanks to Maygin for being such a wonderful beta!

Dean would have preferred to pick a better landing spot, but the train car was carrying them farther away from the Impala every second. It was going be difficult enough to get Sam back to their car without adding unnecessary miles.

Hitting the soft ground, it dropped off a few feet from the tracks, Dean and Sam rolled through leaves and mud down the steep incline. Sam didn't fair too badly, being unconscious he was totally relaxed. Dean on the other hand managed to hit every rock and tree stump, being not unconscious he tensed up. Pain from various points on his body blossomed and flare before quieting to a dull throb. It didn't appear he'd broken anything, for that he was thankful.

Checking to see Sam was unhurt, and still out, Dean climbed a few yards back up the embankment. He scanned in the direction he'd left the car barely able make her out parked in the woods looking like a child's toy from this distance. He guessed he was about five or so miles away. Not a horrible hike, but not an easy one either dragging his two-hundred-plus pound brother. Hopefully he'd hit Sam hard enough he'd stay out until they were somewhere safe.

Dean pulled his cell phone out, no reception. He'd have to get clear of the hills. Sliding back down to Sam, Dean shrugged out of his jacket. He sat Sam up and pulled off the wind breaker and flannel he wore. Straightening for a minute to ease the kinks and tension in his back, Dean's eyes followed the train's engine as it picked up more speed, following the path of the tracks. Just as it was about to disappear around a bend the car flipped off the tracks, careening down the hillside. The trail it slid down plowed under trees, pulling smaller ones up by the roots. Hitting another drop off the car plunged a good hundred feet to a ravine. Dean couldn't believe his good luck when the car erupted into flames. He knew the angle of the engine and the rest of the train prevented anyone from seeing clearly that he and Sam jumped. This would cover their tracks nicely. Anyone watching would think them dead.

It was not so close as to be an immediate threat however Dean still felt the raise in temperature on his skin. The wind was blowing in their direction, no doubt shortly flames and firefighters would be following.

Time to go.

Returning to Sam, Dean winced a bit at the sight of the bruise starting to spread over the side of his face, along his right jaw and temple. Guilt built a slow, dense pressure in Dean's chest. He'd never wanted Sam hurt, and especially not by his own hand. His brother trusted him, depended on Dean to protect him. It's what Dean had always done. Neither of them knew any other way really. He couldn't keep McCreedy from Sam while Sam was awake, so Dean had to keep him unconscious for a while. That wasn't what plagued Dean, set his stomach roiling until he tasted bile, his chest tightening to a dull ache. What sent spikes of cold fear through him were thoughts of how Sam would react once he was awake? No scenario Dean came up with was good.

Feeding first one of Sam's arms, then the other through the sleeves of his flannel, putting it on backwards Dean then secured Sam's hands behind his back, making a crude straight jacket from Sam's shirt. He used his jacket and Sam's to fashion a sling around Sam so Dean could pull him. It wasn't easy trudging along, dragging Sam, but they'd get there. The going was slow, laborious, and he took a less direct route than if they'd both been ambulatory, not wanting to pull Sam through more underbrush, thorns or mud than absolutely necessary.

Anger, hot and vibrant fueled Dean's footsteps. He understood why the spirits, if that's what they were, targeting him. He was directly responsible for the deaths of the three men. Dean didn't regret it one bit. Sam was another matter. He'd done nothing other than try to help what he thought was an old man change a tire, and this was how his kindness was repaid? They were using Sam to hurt Dean, it was his only weak spot. Obvious to anyone around the brothers, Sam was the only way to make Dean truly suffer. Just as so many months ago Abaddon used threats against Dean to terrify, traumatize Sam. The difference was Sam was actually being hurt this time, physically, but he'd recover from that. It was the emotional, mental wounds Dean feared.

Cold sweat beaded along his forehead, skimmed a path from the back of his neck along his shoulders and down his back. Sam would never forgive him, never see him the same again never trust him again. His entire life Sam had been protected, cared for by his brother. In the last days he'd been attacked physically and verbally by what he thought was the same brother. Dean didn't quite believe Sam could know the difference, not when he'd flinch at any unexpected movement from Dean. Protecting someone certainly shouldn't include trussing them up like a Christmas Day turkey and hauling them unconscious through woods. Protecting Sam wasn't supposed to include knocking him cold, throttling him or seemingly throw him out of a car. Yet he'd done those things. Granted some had been hallucinations, dreams of some kind, but the reality to Sam hadn't been any less than if Dean had done those things for real.

His brother was being taken from him just as if he was being kidnapped all over again, as if he were killed.

Dean had lived his life caring only if Sam was safe, in every sense of the word. He was doing a piss poor job lately of providing that safety for Sam. It wasn't that Sam wasn't perfectly capable of taking care of himself, he was Dean never thought he wasn't. His brother's safety, happiness was priority one for Dean and that would never change. Dean cared little if he was safe…but Sam cared. Through it all it was one thing keeping Dean going, gave him a reason to fight. It also gave him reason to use caution where he might not have. It was how Sam protected him. Sam cared if Dean was safe, lived, so Dean made sure they both did. He didn't doubt Sam would still care, love him, but he very much doubted Sam would ever trust him so completely. Sam never really outgrew his hero-worship of his brother, neither had Dean. Losing all that would kill Dean, he had no doubts about that either. Without Sam's trust he'd be an empty shell.

It was well into the night when Dean finally got them back to the Impala. He'd never been so happy to see his car in his life. Luck was with him, Sam was still out cold. Valkyrie bounced through the opened window to jump against Dean's legs. She darted around him to Sam.

"Whoa there chicky." Dean stopped her from licking his brother's face, not wanting Sam to wake up. She pranced back over to him, wiggling around his legs; content with glances in Sam's direction every few seconds. Dean chuckled softly, "I missed you too."

Wrestling Sam into the car was almost as much work as dragging him however many miles Dean just had. Dean didn't really want to know how far it had been. Pulling onto the road Dean tried his cell phone again. This time his reception was perfect. Scrolling through the names he hit dial, tapping one finger against the steering wheel, a glance in the rearview mirror to be sure Sam was ok.

"Come on, come on, answer, please, be there….Bobby!"

"Dean. What's wrong? Is it Sam? "

Smiling, Bobby was maybe the one person beside Sam who could read his voice so well. Bobby knew him well enough to know Dean's tone would only be caused by Sam.

"Hell yes, Sam. Bobby, I need help, we need help. There's something going on here I don't understand…" He stopped abruptly, voice cracking, betraying him.

"Dean, you there? What do you need?"

"Yeah. Sorry…" Taking a deep breath, "Sorry, it's just this is….I don't know. It, they…they're using Sam, me to hurt him. Hell Bobby I don't even know how. Can we…Bobby please I need him safe, somewhere safe…I just need to have him some place safe…please Bobby?"

"Boy what the hell are you even asking me for? Why are you wasting time on the phone?"

Dean sniggered, relief washing through him. "Yeah, driving, cell phone." He should have known asking wasn't something he needed to do. "We should be there in an hour, probably less." He carefully closed his phone, setting it on the dash.

Valkyrie hung over the seat, wagging her tail. Reaching over Dean placed one hand on her back, stopping her from jumping over and onto Sam. "Not this time, sorry. You stay up here with me." Another glance in the mirror at Sam. This was certainly not Sam safe. Sam safe was him in the passenger seat, snoozing or reading or talking Dean's ear off. Not tied up in the back seat, that was not safe by any means.

A few minutes later Dean felt Sam shifting in the seat, heard a soft moan from his brother. Eyes sliding to the mirror he watched Sam struggle to consciousness, trying to move his arms, then push somewhat unsteadily to a partial sitting position. Dean's mouth went dry, something strong and nasty clenched around his heart and tightened. Sam's watery eyes met his via the mirror. Looking one side to the other tears filled Sam's eyes when his focus swung back to Dean.

"Dean?" His voice was soft, raspy, unsure.

One more glance at his brother, trying to not think about the fear, confusion Dean saw he pulled the car off to the side of the road, cutting the engine. He was out, jogging to the trunk he grabbed out of it a towel and two bottles of water. Stopping by the back door Dean squeezed his eyes shut, took a few deep breaths before opening them again, all the while aware of Sam watching him intently. He pulled the door open, kneeling so he was on eye level with Sam. Sam watched him expectantly, but didn't move, or speak.

"Hey, how ya doing?" It was a stupid question, but Dean couldn't think of anything else to say. Cracking open one of the water bottles, Dean shifted so he was partially sitting in the back seat. One hand against Sam's shoulder he nudged Sam to a straighter position. "Better?"

"Yeah." Sam's voice was raw. "Guess I couldn't stay in the car again."

Dean smiled and held the bottle so his brother could drink. "Yeah, we're going to have to work on that." Reaching his free hand to brush down Sam's head and wrap around his neck, for the first time in his life Dean honestly expected Sam to pull away. Instead Sam turned his face into Dean's arm for a second before leaning against the hand settled against his neck.

Sam pulled in a ragged breath. "What's going on?"

"Do you remember the train?"

Sam nodded. "I thought they…all those kids…I didn't hurt anyone?"

"No Sammy." Dean opened the second bottle, dipped it against the towel. "C'mere." He pulled Sam a bit closer, wiping the towel over his brother's face, cleaning off dirt mingled with tears. Setting the towel down he held the first bottle for Sam to drink some more. "I called Bobby, we'll head there. He'll help us. We'll fix this Sammy, we will." Brushing his palm down the back of Sam's head again, he let it rest again on Sam's neck. His thumb rubbed the small ridge just behind his brother's ear. "Sammy, please, trust me, just for a little longer. This is nuts, and I know you've got no reason to, but…."

"Dean." Sam's voice was still soft, but steadier when he stopped Dean's speech. He looked at Dean as if he'd grown a few extra heads. "Of course I trust you. Why would you think otherwise?"

"You warm enough?"

Sam nodded against his hand. "Don't take this off till we're at Bobby's."

Dean gave Sam's neck a squeeze, then ruffled the hair along the back of his head. "You just concentrate on staying in the car, cause I'm not chasing your ass again."

"Yes you will." Sam smiled at him before leaning his head back against the seat.

"No, really, I won't." Dean smirked, sliding out of the back, closing the door gently then slipping behind the wheel once more. Maybe, maybe he dared to hope he hadn't lost anything. Maybe.

Valkyrie settled back in the passenger seat, curled in a ball. Dean cracked the window; the inside of the car was getting warm. Only a few miles had gone by when she lifted her head, snarling in the direction of the back seat. Dean laid a hand on her back, silencing her. "Stay." Glancing in the rear view mirror he was met not by Sam's soft, expression filled hazel eyes, but eyes that were hard and cold and flat. He ventured a glance over his shoulder. The face, Sam's face, was set, emotionless.

Dean's heart skipped a beat.

"Why him, why Sam? Why any of them?" Dean kept his voice even, his eyes focused on the road.

"Why not?" It was Sam's voice, but not like Dean was used to hearing it. Even his voice was cold, emotionless. "Such sweet, vulnerable, impressionable kids, all of them. This one, he was one of the best. All that worry over if you lost a finger, would end up in a cage too, or whatever. It was touching really."

"All he did was try to help someone. He didn't deserve what you did, none of them did." Cold chills ran down Dean's spine. "How can you get pleasure from that?"

"Fear is so sweet to feed on."

"He's a kid!" Dean spat. "They all were kids."

"Makes it so much easier. But it's not him I want now."

Another quick turn of his head, looking over his shoulder before returning his eyes to the road. "I get it, you want me. So, I'm here, right here…" Dean's temper snapped, his hand hit the steering wheel, "Do what you want to me. Leave Sam alone."

The laugh from Sam was cold, bone chilling. "Or what? You'll kill me?"

Send your happy ass to hell or wherever you'll go is more like it. "Did that. It didn't seem to take the first time. What do you want from me? I'll give you whatever you want, but leave my brother alone. Leave Sam alone."

A twisted smile crossed Sam's face, another cold laugh. "Oh I'll get what I want. I want you to suffer, like I did, like my brothers did. I want you to know what it's like, to lose everyone you ever loved. I want you to be responsible for that loss."

Dean's throat closed, his breathing went unsteady without warning, hands gripped the steering wheel with such force pain lanced up and down both arms going straight to his neck. He would have done anything, said anything, begged McCreedy to stop, but when he looked back Sam was passed out cold, head back against the back seat, turned to one side, jaw slack. He glanced quickly to Valkyrie who seemed oblivious again, nose pressed to the side window.

Two more miles was all he managed, eyes staring straight ahead, hands gripping the wheel until he pulled over again. Putting the car in park, but not cutting the engine Dean sat there succumbing for countless minutes to the shaking wracking his entire body.

Cracking one eye open Sam watched without interest the shadows outside whip by as the car traveled along some dark, country road. Sitting in the middle of the back seat, head back and to the side he had no idea if Dean realized he'd woken up again or not. Sam was scared. Scared, and for the first time in his life alone. Dean was on a melt down, heading to self destruct. That scared Sam the most. It was the only explanation Sam had for Dean's continued request to trust him, his comments made Sam know Dean thought he'd lost Sam's trust. These spirits were punching all Dean's buttons, hard. They were literally battering him, using Sam to do it, building Dean's doubts and breaking his defenses. There was never a time Sam hadn't trusted his brother. He didn't know how to do otherwise.

His entire life Sam had his brother. There were some hurts Dean hadn't always been able to protect him from, shield him from, no matter how much either wanted it. But there hadn't been any loss or hurt Sam hadn't been able to overcome, get through, come out on the other side of without Dean's help, without the shield his brother wrapped around him, letting him heal. Now that was gone. His brother was being taken away, slowly and torturously. Sam felt a loneliness he'd never experienced eat away at his chest, creep inside his head nestle there. Cast out, for the first time ever he was totally alone. He wanted his brother back, wanted Dean back and there was nothing he'd stop at to get him back.

Memories of the train filtered into his brain, not the specific events, but the feelings. His feelings. The fear of the passengers, his own fear had been intoxicating, but to whom? He didn't even want to imagine Dean's reaction to that piece of information.

Sam shifted around, seeking a more comfortable position. "Dean, man, will you turn down the heat, its roasting back here." He grumbled, gaze still fixed out the window at nothing.

Dean sighed heavily. Sam straightened, eyes narrowing. NotDean.

"Ya know what Sammyboy I'm thoroughly sick of being dragged down by you. Want, want, want, you're depressing." Dean sneered. NotDeanNotDean!

"He begged me to spare you, go after him and leave you alone. Pathetic. I'll be after him all right."

Sam swallowed convulsively. He was tied up in Dean's make-shift straight jacket, and when Dean tied someone up, they stayed that way. Valkyrie bounced into the back seat, beside Sam, lips pulled up in a silent snarl aimed at Dean. The car swung erratically off the road. Sam's breath caught in his throat.

"Dean. Stop it!" Pulling his knees nearly to his chest and kicked out, connecting solidly with the seat in front of him.

"You think, you sniveling brat, that your brother is going to help you? That he even wants to? You're nothing but a burden. He'd be so much better off without you."

Sam's efforts to close his mind to the verbal assault, to the words were only partially successful. Was the spirit tapping in on Dean's true feelings? Sam wanted to think not, it was a taunt. But there was the tiniest bit of doubt. Sam kicked the seat again, hard enough that Dean was shoved into the steering wheel. The car swerved again. "Dean, stop it!" He shouted, not sure how much his brother could hear, feel.

The laugh from the front seat as the car skidded to a stop was humorless, without feeling, nasty. Terror ripped through Sam when the back door was pulled open. If he was abandoned here he'd have no way of preventing the spirits from hurting Dean. Dean's hands reached for him, Sam twisted and kicked again, this time connecting with Dean's chest.

His brother was sent sprawling onto the ground beside the car. He bounced up immediately, after Sam again. Not having enough time to get out Sam was trapped. Dean grabbed him by his ankles, hauling him out of the car.

"Dean, stop it. Come on, it's me! It's Sam. Don't do this." Shouting, Sam found out a bit too late only seemed to fuel Dean's rage. His brother's face was red, eyes filled with hate, loathing. His mouth a tight line, nostrils flaring with each harsh breath drawn. Sam had never seen Dean this frightening.

Landing on his back, Sam flipped over, trying to get his legs under him. He flexed and relaxed the muscles of his shoulders and arms, trying to loosen Dean's impromptu straight jacket. The effort did little more than tire him. Nothing budged. Dean had him by the hair and one arm, yanking him to his feet.

Letting go of Sam's hair Dean's fist slammed into Sam's middle, doubling him over with a grunt, driving Sam to his knees. Neck clamped in the crook of Dean's arm, held tightly against Dean's torso, Sam was punched again just under his solar plexus, shoved back against Dean by the blow, his cheek banged into Dean's chest. Dean wasn't calling the shots, he didn't know who possessed his brother for sure, but he knew one thing with complete certainty. This might be Dean's body, but it wasn't Dean.

Ramming his shoulder up and into Dean's shoulder as hard as he could, Sam wrestled away, falling to his back once again. Dean launched at him. Pulling his knees to his chest Sam kicked. He didn't want to kick so hard as to crack all Dean's ribs and puncture a lung, but he needed to kick hard enough to render his brother incapacitated for long enough the spirit would leave. Sam's boots caught Dean's shoulders and upper chest, flipping him back. Sam's legs caught Dean's and with a twist of his lower body he flipped Dean away, slamming him into the car.

Pushing away with his legs Sam watched as Dean staggered to his feet, stumbled back, then dropped to his knees. Sam leaned against the car, shoving upright against it, kneeling there, panting. He tried to wipe the blood on his face off on his arm, but could quite get it all off. Leaning down so his forehead almost touched his knees he pulled in long, ragged breaths, willing his head to stop spinning.

"Dean?"

His brother groaned, rolled to one side, and slowly pushed against one hand to straighten. Swaying for a minute, Dean fell back against the car near Sam.

"Dean?" Sam wheezed out between pants.

"You ok Sammy?"

Sam slumped against the car, head falling back until he could rest against the cool metal. He concentrated on quieting his breathing to something closer to normal. Dean hedged closer to him. Sam almost didn't flinch when Dean laid one hand on his shoulder. Dean froze, but didn't move his hand away. A minute later it started sliding down Sam's back.

"No." Sam scooted away. "Don't untie me."

"Sammy this is nuts. I could have killed you." Dean panted. His look of sheer horror made Sam's throat close up, his eyes burned hot. Dean moved on his knees to the driver's door, pushing the upper half of his body into the car, Sam saw his arm reach to the dash for something. Back down a second later, sitting next to Sam, close enough Sam could lean against his side Dean held up his cell phone triumphantly. "Got an idea." Flipping his phone open Dean made a call. Sam rested his forehead against Dean's shoulder, gagging and pulling in ragged breaths, fighting to steady the quakes wracking his body. Dean's hand patted his knee. Dean shut the phone, and struggled to stand. Leaning against the car briefly, Sam saw him sway ever so slightly. Dean made his way to the trunk.

Next to Sam a minute later, Dean's hands wound around Sam, pulling him up and guiding him to the back seat of the car. One hand on Sam's head so he didn't hit it on the door frame Dean eased him onto the seat. He grabbed a blanket, moving a bit more easily now, reached in and tucked it behind Sam's back so he could lean against the far door, legs stretched over the seat.

Carefully closing the door Sam watched Dean climb into the front seat after leaving something on the hood of the car. Taking handcuffs from his back pocket Dean handcuffed himself to the steering wheel of the car.

"Bobby is bringing his tow truck, he'll pull us in. We'll never make it otherwise. He shouldn't be too long."

"Do you think it's them, or maybe it's me?"

"You? Sam that's crazy, why would it be you?"

Sam shrugged, eyes focusing on his boots. "Maybe I'm turning into something evil and I'm causing this."

"You know I don't believe that for one minute." Dean took a deep breath. "Besides Sammy somehow I don't think you turning evil involves getting the crap beat out of you by me."

"Something had you." Sam said softly.

"I was wrong again?"

Finally he could look up, meet Dean's eyes, nodding. "Do you remember anything?"

Dean's simple, "I remember enough." Tore at Sam's heart so badly he thought it would rip in two.