A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate.

Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written.

Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.

And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest.

Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)

That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!

-Surviving-

Chapter Four: Changes

Trying to ease his torment by any possible way, he assigned Catherine and Sara a case together while he sorted through the mounds of paperwork on his desk. After processing the scene for nearly six hours, they were camped out in the layout room now combing through the little evidence they had found. Jokes and subtle 'girl-talk' was exchanged while processing until the loud shrill of Sara's cell phone jolted them both.

"Sorry." Sara said with a shrug before unclipping the loud phone. "Sidle." She answered as her eyes skimmed over the documents in front of her from their case.

"Hi Sara, its Doctor Wallace from the clinic." The man responded.

"Oh, hi doctor. What can I do for you?" She asked, a little confused that her doctor was calling her in the middle of the night. Usually they would just leave a message on her home machine letting her know that her tests came back. When Catherine heard the term 'doctor' he ears instantly tuned into the conversation, her curiosity peeked.

"Sara, I would like for you to come in. I have your test results back and I'd like to talk to you about them." The doctor answered hesitantly, something that did not go unnoticed by Sara. And the instant dropping of Sara's once happy expression didn't go unnoticed by Catherine.

"Why? What's wrong?" She asked defiantly, causing Catherine to get even more nervous.

"If you could come in…" The doctor tried, but was quickly cut off by Sara.

"No! Just tell me what's wrong! Please!" Sara demanded, suddenly feeling very scared and angry.

"Okay, okay. Sara, but please, you need to understand that there is no good way to say this." He started, trying to keep her calm.

"Please, just tell me." She pleaded as the tears pooled in her eyes, making Catherine's heart skip.

"Sara, your test results are back, and with the bruise I found on your leg, and given your family history, I tested your blood cells. We've found a vast amount of cancer cells, Sara. I'm sorry." He explained to her and continued to explain the diagnosis and treatment but she had dropped the phone in shock after his 'I'm sorry' as tears spilled from her wide-eyes down her cheeks and onto her trembling hands. Catherine instantly ran to her side and picked up the phone from the floor.

"Hello?" She asked into it.

"Sara?" The doctor asked after having called her name several time without a response.

"No. Sorry. This is Catherine Willows, her co-worker. Um, can she call you back? She's really upset right now." She asked genuinely concerned and confused as she watched Sara, the toughest woman she knew, stare off into nothingness as the salty tears raced down her paled face.

"Of course Ms. Willows. Please, just make sure that she calls. It's important that she not wait." He told her before they hung up. Catherine could honestly say that she was scared.

"Sara?" She asked tentatively as she inched closer to the younger woman.

"This can't be happening. Not now. It just can't." Sara whispered through her tears, her whole body shaking with all of the emotions coursing through her. Sensing the other presence in the room, she stood up hastily and looked around, avoiding Catherine gaze. "I…I just can't be here right now." She choked out before running at full speed out of the room and down the long hallways, passing right by Grissom, but not even noticing him. Catherine followed right after her, and despite the current situation, she was amazed how fast Sara could run. She, too, ran right past a now confused and frightened Grissom.

Catherine knew about Sara and Grissom. She was the only one, but she knew. She had walked in on them making out in his office a few days before. (Remember the one time Grissom had won the bet.) But, she didn't know what the doctor had told Sara, so she didn't want to say anything to Grissom without her permission, no matter what she thought. She eventually caught up to her outside, after asking several people if they'd seen her. She was sitting on her knees in the corner of the parking lot, as if she had been standing and her legs gave up beneath her. Her entire body was quaking with uncontrollable sobs.

"Sara?" Catherine asked, announcing her presence so as not to startle her. "Sara, sweetie, talk to me." She pleaded as she knelt in front of her.

"I don't know what to do Catherine." Sara wept, sounding more defeated than Catherine could have imagined.

"Sara…Are you pregnant?" It was the only thing that she could think of that the doctor would have told her, and given the new discovery of Sara's apparently now 'active' sex life with Grissom, she felt it was a reasonable assumption, especially with the reaction Sara was having. But, Sara's head snapped up so fast and her words were definite when she spoke.

"No, oh god. No!"

"Okay, I'm sorry. But, Sara, if you're not pregnant, than what's wrong? What did your doctor say to you?" She spoke softly as she took Sara's hands in her own and they both settled further into the concrete.

"Oh god. Cath…I…I…I have…" She paused as another sob wracked through her body. "I have cancer." She cried, having admitted the words. Catherine's heart practically stopped. Without a second to waste, Catherine took hold of Sara's light body and held her close as they cried together.

"Come on. Let's take you home." Catherine suggested after sitting on the hard ground drowning in tears for well over a half hour. Grissom had come out shortly after Sara's declaration to see the two women crying in each other's arms, on the ground, in the parking lot. Luckily for him Catherine was facing him and not Sara, because Catherine gave him a look that eased his worries slightly and then mouthed the words 'I'm handling it' to him. Reluctantly and very nervously, Grissom had gone back inside to reseal the evidence that both women had run out on, but he couldn't keep his mind off of the sobbing Sara. Catherine stood and took Sara's hands, pulling her up to her feet and they began walking back through the parking lot.

"What about Grissom?" Sara asked shakily when she saw his truck in the lot.

"You need to tell him Sara." Catherine told her, trying not to sound harsh, but more encouraging. But Sara took on a look of instant horrification.

"No. I can't. He can't know." Sara yelled. The look of terror in Sara's eyes made Catherine's heart sink. She was actually more afraid of telling Grissom than she was of being sick.

"Okay, okay. How about we get you back to the doctor and see what he has to say, and then we'll go from there?" Catherine suggested, tears brimming her eyes.

"Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry Catherine. I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm just so scared." She admitted, resulting in Catherine pulling her into a hug. "I can't lose him, Cath, I can't." She whispered sadly to the older woman. Pulling back and looking deep into Sara's eyes, Catherine responded.

"What do you mean 'lose him,' why would you lose him honey?"

"I love him Cath. But it's taken five years and longer to get him to this point. If I told him, if he knew, he'd run again. I know it. And I wouldn't survive that."

"Oh honey, he wouldn't leave you over this. He loves you, believe me, he loves you more than you could ever possibly know. I know it took him a long time to see the light, but if there's one thing I know about Gil Grissom, it's that once he's seen said light, there's no turning back." That got her a light smile from the very pale woman before her. "Let's see what the doctor has to say." She tried convincing Sara of Grissom, but trying to convince a very stubborn woman was like trying to talk to a wall, but Catherine gathered that talking to the wall might actually be more effective. Sara nodded silently and Catherine led her back inside. "I'm going to go talk to Gil. He's going to be very worried. But don't worry, I won't say anything, I promise. Go get your stuff together and I'll meet you back in the locker room, okay?" Sara nodded and turned towards the locker room as Catherine watched after her, before she turned back.

"Cath?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks…For everything." Sara said honestly, even attempting a small, sad smile. Catherine merely nodded and smiled before they both turned their separate ways and Catherine went to find Grissom. Sara had explained everything she knew from what the doctor had told her, but it still wasn't much. A lasting bruise, something to do with her blood cells, and that there was a large amount of cancer cells found. They needed to talk to the doctor, but Sara had dropped the phone before she heard any of the pertinent information, such as treatment and severity of the cancer. Catherine wasn't going to lie to herself, she felt that Grissom should know, if only to help Sara through it, but Sara had trusted her with the worst news she'd ever received and after spending a lot of time and effort trying to rebuild their friendship, she wasn't about to betray that trust.

Catherine soon enough found Grissom in his office, after dodging several questions from lab techs and other CSI's as to what was wrong with Sara. She knocked lightly on the door frame and when she didn't receive a response, she spoke.

"Gil?" Her voice broke him from his troubled thoughts as her rose his head to see her.

"Catherine? What's wrong with Sara? Is she okay? What happened? Why was she crying? Where is she now?" He ranted all in one breath.

"Gil. Gil! Calm down!" She ordered, effecting seizing his rampage of questions. When he was calm, she suddenly wasn't. She felt incredibly guilty for not being able to tell him the truth. He looked awful and it was clear that he had been crying himself.

'Great! A bunch of emotionally hysterical CSI's.' She thought.

"Sara…well, she needs some time to think and take care of something. I'm going to take her out for a while." She explained, but Gil wasn't dumb, he knew when she was lying and/or omitting the truth.

"Catherine, please, what is it?" He asked as a flash of terror passed his features.

"I'm sorry Gil. It's not my place to say anything. When she's ready, she'll tell you." She answered sympathetically.

"She'll tell me what? Oh, god. Is she pregnant?" He asked seemingly horrified. Catherine couldn't help but laugh a little given that was her own reaction.

"No, I can assure you, Sara is baby-free." She answered, and then thought about it. "Well, at least as far as I know. But I think you're in the clear on that one." She said with a smile.

"Then what?" He asked desperately, on the verge of tears again.

"Gil, I'm sorry, but it's for her to tell you. All I can say to you now is that she needs you now more than she ever has. She's scared and she needs you to help her through this. Just don't pry for answers, don't interrogate her. Give her time. She'll tell you when she's ready." She explained the best she could.

"Cath – should I be scared?" he asked. She was scared, how could she tell him not to be. He just looked so confused and vulnerable. Desperate.

"Don't be scared Gil. Be supportive. Be there for her, and don't retreat back into the shell of yours and you're both going to be fine." She advised, trying to relieve him a little before she turned and left him to the solitude of his office. Grissom just sat there staring at his hands, trying hopelessly to think of what to say or do. As Catherine was looking for Sara, she literally ran into her coming out of the layout room.

"I guess Grissom put away our evidence." Sara sighed. Catherine quickly informed her of her brief conversation with Grissom, being sure to tell her of his sincere concern and turmoil.

"I'm just going to go say goodbye to him real quick. I'll meet you at the car." Sara said bravely.

"Okay. Take your time." Catherine said with an encouraging smile and squeeze of her arm.