A/N: Okay, first off, I'd like to dedicate this story to everyone out there that has been affected by the 'events' of this story. (I don't want to give it away, but you'll understand what I mean if you read it.) Particularly my Godfather/Uncle Jeff, Grandma Jane, and Aunt Becky, may they be in peace. To all of the survivors out there who made it through and to all of the families and friends of those who were not as fortunate.
Second, I'm sorry for what I did to Sara in this, but the story was in my head and needed to be written.
Third, all mistakes are mine and that of Microsoft Word which has been known to suck royally. If there's anything really troublesome that I missed please let me know. Also, all of my information might not be completely accurate, so just work with me on that one and be imaginative.
And finally, please read and review. I put a lot of thought into this story, so please let me know what you think of it. I always love your comments, good or bad. Be honest.
Disclaimer: Still just a single mother of two, writing fan fiction. But soon, I promise, I'll own CSI and GSR will be consummated with a live action kiss (at the very least they owe us that!)
That's it. My rant is done. Enjoy the story!
-Surviving-
Chapter Six: Stuck With Me
After the initial shock, Grissom and Sara both seemed to find reassurance in each other as they faced the disease head-on. The very next morning, they sat down together and read through all of the material the doctor provided. Catherine came by shortly after her shift and dropped off all of Sara's prescriptions, which was a lot, and refused to let either of them repay her for the drugs.
"It's the least I can do." Giving them each a sad smile, she informed them of her phone call that morning. "I got a call from Dr. Wallace this morning." Both Grissom and Sara looked up to face her, clutching hands as tight as they could. "I'm so sorry Sara, I'm not a match. But I'm taking Lindsey after she gets off school tomorrow to be tested. We'll find someone I promise." A tear escaped her eye as she saw Sara's expression sink to another lost hope.
"I'm going tomorrow afternoon, after we meet up with the team." Grissom added. They had called everyone when they got up that morning and asked them to meet at Grissom's townhouse the following afternoon. That it was urgent. Everyone, hearing the strain and desperation in Grissom's voice, readily agreed, all other plans tossed aside. Warrick, Nick, Greg, Brass, Doc Robbins, David Phillips, Detective Vega, Mandy, Jacqui, Henry, Bobby, Archie, Hodges and Wendy were all due to arrive around 3:30 for the 'big meeting.' To say that Sara was nervous was an understatement. She was petrified. Not only to tell everyone that she was sick and may be dying, but to ask for help. She prided herself on not having to ever ask for help, she saw it as a weakness. Plus, they would be telling them all about Grissom and Sara's relationship. Her, Catherine and Grissom were just praying that they would all be willing to be tested for the transplant.
"That's good. Well, maybe I'll just bring Lindsey here with me and we can carpool to the hospital." Catherine suggested.
"Cath?" Sara's tiny voice was heard.
"Yeah honey?" She answered.
"Thank you. For being tested. Even though it's not a match I know that you would have done it. That means more to me than you could imagine. So thank you." The tears welling in her eyes conveyed her appreciation perfectly to Catherine, and made her feel better about not having been a match.
"I'm just sorry I couldn't do more." She replied with her own tears pooling.
"You've done plenty. I wouldn't have been able to get through the day yesterday if you hadn't been there for me. Really."
Catherine stayed for another hour or so, explaining her notes to Grissom over coffee while Sara took a nap on the sofa. The medications were starting to take a toll on her already; she had fallen asleep against Grissom's shoulder mid-sentence about ten minutes after taking the prescribed meds. It had taken both Catherine and Grissom by surprise, but they let her sleep and moved into the kitchen to talk.
The following day, the day of the 'big meeting' after falling asleep unexpectedly again, Sara awoke to a cold sweat about three hours after having dozed off to find herself on the sofa with her feet propped up on Grissom's lap, who was reading the LVPD Crime Lab's employee handbook.
"Grissom?" She asked groggily as she tried to sit up, but was instantly hit with a rush of dizziness and nausea.
"Easy honey. Lay back down." He was at her side in under a second when he heard her voice and then saw her face pale. "Here, drink this." He said handing her a glass of orange juice. "I talked to your doctor while you were sleeping to make sure drowsiness was okay, and he told me that you'll feel very tired, so you can't drive while on the meds, and that you'll get bouts of nausea and dizziness. But he said it's normal with these meds, to just take it easy. Everything you've been feeling in the last couple days is to be expected and with your small body type, and the high dosage of the pills they'll take a stronger effect on you." He explained to her, as he wiped a damp face cloth across her face that was slowly regaining its color. "Feel better?"
"A little." She said, fighting to keep her eyes open. She still felt incredibly tired.
"It's okay honey. Just try and relax."
"Griss?"
"Yeah baby?"
"Did you mean what you said?"
"Well, that's what the doctor said…" he trailed off as shut shook her head.
"No, not that. The other night. Did you mean it?" He could see the insecurity in her eyes and it overwhelmed him.
"Every word. You're stuck with me Sara. I'm not going anywhere. I don't care how sick you are or if you fall asleep during a conversation. I'm here for good." He smiled and kissed her forehead before she reached up and wrapped her tiny arms around his neck to hug him close.
"I love you." She whispered.
"I love you too." He whispered back as he climbed on to the couch beside her, wrapping her in his arms.
"How long was I asleep?" She asked after several minutes of comfortable silence.
"About three hours. You need the rest though." He answered, tracing circles onto her stomach where her shirt had ridden up slightly.
"I'm all sweaty." She sounded so much like a little girl completely disgusted by the concept of mud that he had to smile.
"Also normal with the medication. You're immune system isn't working properly so the drugs are fighting off any infection in your body. It's completely standard." He assured her, kissing her temple lightly.
"Normal or not, I feel gross. Can I take a shower?" She asked, finding that he and Catherine knew more about her treatment and condition than she did, not that she minded, she was actually glad to not have to worry about it.
"You can. But if it's okay with you, I'd like to sit in the bathroom while you do, in case you get light-headed. I don't want anything to happen to you." His voice was filled with so much love and concern that it nearly broke her heart to hear. She had been so afraid that he would run away, but instead he was running to her, holding her in his arms and caring. She fell in love with him all over again.
"I think that would be okay." And then a thought occurred to her. "You know you could shower with me and save time before everyone gets here." She suggestive a bit seductively as she trailed her fingers lightly up his stomach in a tantalizing motion to his chest. Part of him wanted to say yes, but the other part of him felt like he'd be taking advantage of her. Sensing his inner turmoil she looked up into his eyes, where he saw only love in hers. "I'm still the same girl I was a last week Griss. Please. I'm sick not broken. I need you right now. I need to feel you." Her eyes conveyed the trust and desire she held for him and if this was what she wanted, what she needed, he would give it to her.
"Okay. Let's go shower." He said, standing up and pulling her with him.
Together they showered, washing each other's backs and shampooing the other's hair. Once they were clean, things heated up and they made love in the shower with soft caresses and simple movements. Grissom poured all of his love and devotion into it, trying to show Sara, prove to her that he was there for long haul no matter what happened, and she took him in gracefully. An hour later they emerged from the steamy bathroom wearing large white towels and headed to Grissom's room to change. Catherine had stopped by again when Sara was sleeping; having brought with her a few boxes of Sara's clothes and bathroom products from her apartment. She knew that Sara wasn't going to be up for going over there anytime soon, and she knew Grissom wouldn't leave her side, so she did what she could.
The nervous flutters came back in full force as they realized the time. 2:43. Everyone would be there soon and that thought was not sitting well on Sara's mind.
"What if they look at me differently?" She asked as she buttoned up her shirt and Grissom pulled on his.
"I think all they'll see is an even stronger Sara Sidle." He kissed her lightly and gave her a smile before turning back to his dresser for socks.
"You know, they're going to know about us now. Are you sure you're okay with that?"
"Sara, if you would let me shout it from the rooftops I would. I think that we need all the support we can get right now. And if our strange, dysfunctional, scientifically nerdy, extended family can provide that, can help you get through this, than I could care less who knows. I love you, and that's all that matters." She couldn't help the smile that overtook her features and then laughed at his description of the team. Sometimes he was just too cute. "Now, let's get some food in you real quick before everyone gets here. Dr. Wallace said that you need to take your afternoon pills with food." Seeing her look of amusement at how well he knew her care, he gave an innocent shrug. "Just wait 'til you see the chart I made. It's on the fridge. It's even color coated." He had that boyish smile on again and again she couldn't help but mirror his smile with one of her own before wrapping him up in her arms with a tight hug. "Catherine helped."
"Thank you." She whispered.
"For what?"
"Everything. For loving me. For caring for me, taking care of me. For making medication charts that go up on the fridge and taking notes when you talk to the doctor or Catherine. For making sure I eat and letting me sleep. For tucking me in. For whispering that you love me when you think I'm asleep, and for saying it out loud when I'm awake. For being tested for the transplant. And most of all, for making me feel safe and not as scared." Was her answer of genuine gratitude. "I love you, you know."
"Yeah, I know. I love you too." He placed a light kiss to her lips before taking her hand and leading her to the kitchen. "I'm just going to make you soup. I think something light would probably be best while your body is still adjusting to the medication." He explained to her as he moved around the kitchen and she took a seat at the table watching him.
"Griss?"
"Yeah?"
"What's going to happen with work?" Instantly he spun around to look at her.
"What do you mean?"
"Well with the…the…the cancer and the drugs and treatment and just all of it." She hesitated with the term for a while before bringing herself to say it. It still felt very unreal.
"Well, I was going to talk to you after everyone left, but Dr. Wallace faxed over the information and your medical records and his recommendations to the sheriff and I followed it up with a medical leave of absence form. Oh, I sort of forged your signature." With her shocked expression he continued. "You were sleeping, and I didn't want to wake you, and in order for it to be approved in time for you to start today, I had to have it in by noon, so I forged you signature. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I should have talked to you first or woke you up…" He rambled on as she got up from her chair, slowly to avoid getting dizzy, and walked over to him mid-rant, with new tears in her eyes.
"You did that? For me?" He was confused. She wasn't mad. She was happy with him? Surprised, yes, but happy. Tears of joy.
"I'd do anything for you." He leaned down and gave her lips a soft brush of his own before pulling back. "Can I talk to you about something?" He asked tentatively, making her a little nervous. Shyly she nodded and let him lead her back to the table while the soup heated up on the stove. "Well, I've been thinking and well, it's completely up to you and everything, but I couldn't help but think that it would be easier for you maybe, and well I would really love it if you would…"
"What Griss? Just tell me." She loved this new nervous boyfriend side of him, how now he was the one over talking, but she had to say that he was making her antsy.
"Move in with me." He laid it out so calm and direct that it actually took her by surprise.
"W-what?" No matter how hard she tried the shock was evident in her voice.
"Move in with me Sara. I mean, you practically live here already even if it has only been a few weeks. I love you. I want you here with me."
"Griss, I…I don't know. Is this just because you want to take care of me, because it would be easier?" She had to ask. She didn't want to move in if it was just because of the cancer.
"What? No. Sara, I love you. And granted yes, I want to take care of you, and yes it would easier to handle all of this together if we were living together, but that's not why I want you here. I'll be taking care of you even if you say no. I want you to move in with me because I love you. Because I love the feel of having you with me, of waking up next to you, of eating breakfast together, of fighting for the shower first and doing the crossword puzzle. Because I love that we play trivial pursuit to see who has to wash the dishes after dinner. Because when we went grocery shopping together last week I had never felt happier to share such a common task with someone. Because when you're here, this place is a home, and when your not it feels cold and empty and all I want is to be with you."
Wow. Was all that crossed her mind as she got up, again slowly, and moved to his chair, sitting on his lap.
"Well when you put it that way how can I refuse?" She leaned down and kissed him lightly as the tear ran down her cheek. "Yes Gil Grissom, I will move in with you." The smile that radiated from his face was intoxicating. "But only if you carry in all the boxes and let me paint the walls. The white cinderblock thing needs to go. We'll be seeing enough white walls at the hospital."
"Honey, you can paint them whatever color you want. You can paint a rainbow on them if that's what you want. I don't care as long as you come with it." He smiled so broadly it reached his eyes and made her heart skip a beat.
"Well it looks like we'll have to recruit the guys to help me pack and give blood then." She chided, making him chuckle.
"I love you."
"I know. I love you too."
"Okay, let's get some food in you so you can take your meds." He said standing up with her and going back to the simmering soup on the stove.
"I don't want to fall asleep, or be drowsy or dizzy with everyone here Griss." She admitted softly, the sound of her humiliated voice breaking his heart.
"Don't worry about that. If you feel tired, don't fight it, just tell me so you don't crash mid-sentence like before. And if you feel dizzy just hold on to me. I won't let you fall. And everyone will understand once they know anyways. So try not to let it bother you okay?" As much as he knew she didn't mean it, she nodded mutely and took the bowl of soup and the little cup filled with an assortment of pills.