Be My Future

Disclaimer: This fanfic is based on the manga series "Please save my earth". All characters Belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki from Rurouni Kenshin series.

Chapter 7 – Losing Hope

Something Kaoru just seemed to forget once someone new enters university is a freshman. Which means, first week will be a crazy one since seniors just want to go around and torture every single freshman they find. Somehow, she was able to avoid some. Now she knew why Misao and Yahiko were smirking all trip that day. Two days passed and it seemed eternity, she had many classes and they ended a bit late, she only had time to get home, cook dinner and then fall asleep exhausted. She was finding some difficulties to fit with this new kind of life and these days didn't help at all.

"Mou," she said going trough the corridors with note books in her hands. The girl just hoped she could survive the whole week. Going downstairs she found the cafeteria and remembered she didn't eat too much. Once she enters, the girl could see it full since it was a time of the day everybody wants to eat.

"Kamiya-san!" A male voice called her and she turned immediately to it. When she saw a tall man waving his hand she smiled and came to his side. It was the same guy she found in the applications day.

"Hey!" he complimented.

"Hi!" she said back at him. When she was close to him, she saw his face painted with a little of blue. Just like the painting, his eyes were also blue, a very light blue. His hair came to hide them to the right side. He seemed a really cool guy just by his looks. "I can see the torture already reached you...ano, I'm sorry since I got here I've been asking so many names that I just-"

"No, that's fine really, I understand, it's Takahiro." The Man replied to her smiling "I just saw you come here so I followed you."

"Oh?" She asked surprised "Well I was just going to eat something, want to join me?"

"Yeah, why not? The classrooms have been really empty since this craziness that seniors started so I'd rather stay here with you than go outside." He told her smiling and she laughed.

"I'm surprised you survived," She told him and pointed to his face "they already caught you!" he immediately put an hand in his face to hide the painting embarrassed, but laughing.

"Yeah, I wasn't expecting them."

Once they ordered what to eat, they finally came to the table to speak more freely. Who could have thought it? She never imagined a guy like him would be with her in the first days of university. Takahiro is the kind of guy that any girl would want as a boyfriend. He was gorgeous, tall, muscled, and dressed pretty well. Not to mention he's really nice. He made her feel nervous, since she knew every girl was looking to them. He's the type of guy who gets all the attention around him.

"So," she started to talk "Do you know someone around here?"

"Nah, Just some classmates I didn't talk too much." He paused to eat some more "They say that in this week is when you find lots of people to talk since they all share the same torture of the seniors, but since I've been running from them it's been kinda difficult." He gave a small laugh and Kaoru joined him, she looked at the food while doing so. He was really sociable. "What about you?"

"Oh, I know some people, but they're all seniors." She told him as he listened looking at her while eating. "I still haven't found them around yet, they must be really entertained."

"Yeah, don't doubt about that." She giggled with that comment and found herself finishing her food.

…..

Misao had called once Kaoru got home. They wanted to meet again and asked to come to Sanosuke's apartment for that. She told them she wasn't sure since she was tired, that's when Sanosuke called to her cell phone and asked when he could pick her up. After laughing about the hilarious situation, she agreed since she was feeling a bit lonely by not being with anyone. She stared at her phone and smiles thinking they were really nice people and that somehow she was lucky. She wondered if Megumi was better now, she didn't talk to her since she really didn't know what to say to her. Kaoru didn't experience anything she did and so she preferred to be silent.

When finally Sanosuke arrived she came quickly to meet him by the car. They drove off once she got to his car and shortly after arriving his house, her two new friends were already waiting for them. They quickly got inside and made themselves at home. Sanosuke surprisingly asked them to stay for dinner and they accepted. Kaoru was around him all the time just to make fun. It would only be normal for him to start to cooking since he lived alone now but would it be edible? He just rolled his eyes all the time.

"I finished!" Sanosuke said somehow relieved. The second phase of mocking would start and he knew Kaoru would carefully point out how his food tasted.

"Great!" Misao appeared by the doorway with a pen and a note "We can start the meeting at dinner."

"Wait, what about Megumi?" Kaoru asked confused and Misao stopped to look at her "Shouldn't we wait for her?"

"She's not coming." Misao told her and she stared confused

"Is she still worried about the dreams?" Kaoru asked worried looking from Misao to Sano "Shouldn't we talk to her?"

"Talking to her about these matters won't really help her." Sanosuke decided to explain. "These meetings are affecting her and we decided not to tell her about it, for now."

"Shouldn't we do something then?" Kaoru asked worried looking at her best friend "We should at least lighten her up! Encourage her, right?"

"It's more complicated than that." He answered looking down

"What is so complicated? We are her friends, what could possibly damage her so much that we can't help out?"

"That's the reason why we gathered together Kaoru…" Misao finally said "We wanted to gather all the information we can, so we can figure out why this bothers her that much. Such behaviour from Megumi it's weird since she wouldn't let anything bother her mind. And the incident at the Hospital worried us-"

"Incident? What-? Hospital?"

"Misao!" Sano yelled

"You didn't tell her?" Misao asked him

"You didn't tell me what?" Kaoru asked turning to him almost loosing her patience. Sanosuke's hand came to his hair frustrated. "Did something happen to her? I thought we were best friends, why didn't you tell me?"

"Cause, I didn't want you to worry." He told her "Since you came back not so long ago and the fact of this dreams are still so sudden, you've been busy and all, I just didn't want to worry you…"

"Just tell me what happened." He sighed knowing Kaoru wouldn't calm down until she knew about the incident. At that moment Yahiko entered the kitchen listening to what was happening.

"Megumi passed out after the first meeting." Her eyes widened surprised "I found her unconscious in her kitchen."

"But, why? How did this happen?"

"It's an effect you might suffer if you try to remember so much about your past life, we told you about this." She listened to Misao's explanation "It looks like she fainted from the effort."

Kaoru could only thought about her best friend. How could she possibly not know about this? Maybe Sanosuke was right, she was too busy, lately her thoughts had been occupied either by the dreams or University. But, isn't she her best friend? The one she would know everything about? No, in the last few days, she hadn't been like a best friend.

"Kaoru?" Misao called and she looked at the girl somehow sad "Megumi didn't want to tell anyone about this, but now that we know, we can stick together and try to solve what bothers our doctor friend so much, ne?"

She had said yes to the girl, but her thoughts were still somewhere else. At the dinner; Misao talked more than ate and passed most time asking questions and drawing something in some papers. At the end she showed a chart drawn with years and names, it was their last years alive. Kaoru was unable to answer any questions she asked, and Misao didn't asked her much either since it was pointless. When Kaoru took the paper into her hands, she observed the names:

1881 of Meiji era:

- Sanosuke Sagara dies in winter (around February)

- Yahiko Myojin dies 5 months later (around June)

- Megumi Takani dies 4 months later (around October)

- Misao Makimachi dies one month later (around November)

!882 of Meiji era (not concrete)

- Aoshi Shinomori dies

- Kaoru Kamyia dies

-Kenshin Himura dies

Some part of what was written was really good information, but nothing came to her mind reading it, she couldn't say if it was wrong or right or even encourage them to continue. The four of them died all in the same year. But still, it didn't gave them any clue, the key for they search might be her or not. They all believed that she was the one Kaoru Kamiya in the past. No, correction, Sanosuke believed Kaoru was the one, Yahiko still did not believe in her and Misao, although she tries to encourage her, the girl's face is like a mirror, and she knew she hid the same fact as Yahiko.

And Megumi, she got herself into the hospital unconscious from all of this dreams matter. Kaoru looked again at the piece of paper as they talked to each other. What good was her to help? What best friend was she? She lowered the paper with her hands sadly; this all seemed useless since she hadn't any dreams for the past weeks. And the only two she had felt unreal. The girl started to fell disappointed to herself.

What good was she?

…

"You're still mad?" Sanosuke asked with a soft voice but she never turned to him. She didn't forget what he did and somehow the air between them was starting to feel heavy. He parked next to her house and stopped to look at her. "Please say something."

"How do you think I am, seriously?" Kaoru finally faced him and his eyes darted down. "And besides what kind of excuse is that? "You've been busy"? I'm her friend!"

"I didn't mean it that way." She looked away a little angry "What happened to Megumi was dangerous, I didn't want to confuse you about this whole thing it was-"

"Then when we're you going to tell me?" He suddenly fell silent once seeing her eyes hurt. When would he tell her honestly? Her hand came to the handle of the door and there remained for a moment "Sometimes I feel useless."

She opened the door and got out even hearing her name being called, she closed the door and turned to her house, walking to the door with a fast pace. When she heard the car driving off after a while, she turned to the road sadly. Kaoru was starting to feel awful about this situation. Not to mention she was very confused. She never expected things to go like this once she set foot again in Japan. She wanted to be with her best friends again, hang out with them like old times.

Before she turned to the door again, she felt her eyes locked with a light coming from a window. Realizing it came from Kenshin's house and window she stopped to stare for a moment. The red head came into view suddenly, coming to a table nearby. He picked up something, Karou felt herself approaching to see more clearly, never caring if someone saw. It was a package and when he turned it to his hand for something to fall, she realized it were pills. He putted them in his mouth and quickly drank water from a cup of glass. Her eyes widened. Pills? At his age? A 12 year old kid taking pills? He didn't seem sick or with fever. She suddenly remembered something.

"Nice-"his voice left his lips breathlessly. She then realized he was breathing with difficulty and didn't understand why. His right hand came to his chest softly and rubbed his left side. "Nice move."

"Kenshin?" she asked again confused and worried. His breathing wasn't calming down which was strange. She saw his hand on his left side and asked "What is it? Do you feel any pain?"

Kaoru was now able to see his face. His eyes were closed as if he was concentrated and his breathing started to slow down. It seemed he was making a great effort on doing that. She watched worried as he seemed to come back to normal. His lips were slowly forming a small smile. His eyes opened again and directly looked at her.

Something was up and she knew. When she baby sit him that day, she noticed the kid slept a lot. Maybe it had to do it with. She watched him go, leaving her looking at the window with lights turned off.

She started to feel frighten, was she that busy?

…

"Kamiya-san!" The girl turned around to see Takahiro running to her. She waited as she saw him passing trough lots of people to get to her.

"Hey there, Takahiro-san." She greeted him with a small smile "How's everything?"

"Fine, it seems the seniors are a little calm. It's been three days" He answered smiling to her "I haven't seen you around much, how's everything?"

Fine I guess…

"I'm fine, been trying to know this place this couple of days, you can really get lost in here!" She told him admired "I thought it was something the seniors told to scare us so we stick with them."

"You can never trust them." He said smiling and she giggled with his statement. "So, how about a guide trough my classes section? You haven't been there before have you?"

"Actually no," She replied "It must have been the only place I've missed to see. One of my friend's is a senior in economics; maybe I could introduce him to you."

"Well, if he lets me leave after that I guess its ok." She only laughed. This little friend she found at the university was quite mysterious to her. Wait, or was it he who found her? She wasn't quite sure but she really liked his company. He seemed to be a sweet person and had one of those smiles that made you forget breathing. She let him guide her trough the halls of their university as they chat at the same time. She wondered, of all the beautiful girls around there that sometimes made a lot to get his attention, why would he talk to her the way as he did now?

It was in that, he was mysterious…Maybe he just saw her as a 'chat friend'.

What a weird name…

"And Ta-da, this is the economics hall." He proudly said

"It's quite similar to mine."

"Yeah it's similar to almost every course, I know but, do you really know what the difference of this one and the others is?"

"I'm anxious to hear that." She said crossing her arms amused.

"It's because it's dedicated to the economic course." He said it again proudly.

"Now, that's just a self-centred idea!" She laughed while saying that and he joined her.

"I'm kidding, that's what the seniors taught us." They started to walk trough the hall as she watched around the rooms they had classes. It was everything the same as her hall, anyone could get confused in it. That's when she saw some people getting out of a classroom and spotted Yahiko.

"Yahiko!" she waved as she called him, trying to get his attention. "Over here!"

"What are you doing? They're seniors!" Takahiro said holding her with one hand on her shoulder. Yahiko had seen the couple and after excusing him from his friends, he approached slowly to them with an evil smile in his face. "He's coming this way now!"

"Don't worry, he's my friend, he won't do us anything."

"You said it right, he's your fr-" Kaoru waited for his sentence to finish but after a while she looked at Takahiro confused. He was looking at the senior who was approaching slowly also, with a stunned face. Yahiko was looking at her new friend and she wondered if they met. That's when Yahiko turned to her suddenly.

"Hey there, haven't seen you around," Yahiko said with a smile "This is our first time meeting around here, how are you?"

"Oh this is great!" she answered happily and the turned to her friend "Actually I wanted him to meet you, I'm not sure if you already met him, he's name is Takahiro…" she looked at her friend curious. She forgot his first name! He smiled to her and turned to the senior.

"Aoshi, Takahiro Aoshi."

"So sorry, I've been forgetting almost every name I-"

"I knew I recognized you." Yahiko told him with a serious face. He interrupted her so suddenly that she was surprised. In front of them, Misao appeared out of nowhere with some books in her hands, and when she saw the scenery in front of her, her books seemed to escape her hands making an horrible sound as they fell.

"Are you alright?" Kaoru asked coming to help her with the books but she soon noticed the girl didn't move. Her stare was fixed on Takahiro with great shock and admiration. Kaoru was confused, why were they acting like that? Takahiro seemed to be silent all the time, and when he noticed Misao, his mouth slightly opened surprised.

"Aoshi…sama?" the name escaped Misao's lips and it was then it struck Kaoru. She turned slowly at the man with surprised eyes.

"Mi…sao?" He said as he gave one step towards the girl. Kaoru gave some space to Misao to see the man and suddenly, tears started to fall from her eyes as she tried to breathe at the same time. It was then the girl closed her eyes, and collapsed.

"MISAOOO!"

…...

"You want to go wander again!"

"That has nothing to do with this!"

"I followed you to Kyoto back then but not anymore!"

"What do you WANT?"

Kenshin's eye flew open awake. The kids' breathing was heavy and he started to look around to see the place. He recognizes his bed and walls from his room. Finally, the kid let out a relived breath and felt some liquid falling from his eyes. Once he touched, he recognized his own tears.

Another dream about that time…The strangest thing was the fact that it came in flashes, it never came complete. He tried to place them together every time he slept and every time it happened, he got more confused. A fight, he had a fight with her. He felt anxious and frightened with those hard sentences. But more than any of those feelings, he felt regret. His heart was beating fast and his hands came to his eyes to hold the tears.

"Ken?" His mother's voice came from the door as it opened filling the room with light. His caring mother's eyes fell on him and he looked at her with reassuring eyes, ignoring the fact his face was still wet with tears and one hand still hold his head. "Darling, what's wrong?" she approached the boy but raised his hand to her before she came closer. His sad smile was kept on his young lips.

"It's ok mom, it's just another nightmare."

"Don't say 'another' so simply, it's scares me." She explained him with a soft voice and raised her hand to his temple, holding one of his hands. "You're sweating; want me to bring a glass of water?"

"Please." With that his mother got up and slowly let go of his hand. Her back turned to him and got to the door, where her figure vanished to the light slowly. His hand kept opened next to him and his face showed an admired look following his mother's figure. The feeling of his mother leaving him just to get a cup of water was affecting his mood somehow. The sound of his cell phone rang echoing through the room and he slowly looked at it seeing Sanosuke's name.

"Hey." He complimented trough the phone.

"Hey! What's up?" Kenshin smiled from the sprit his voice filled his ears.

"Everything's fine, how about you?"

"I've been a bit busy with something... actually I wanted to talk to you about it." The kid's eyes looked confused but heard "It's about some events of our past life..."

"I'm listening." The kid politely replied.

"I'm just curious about your death," Sano paused and he kept silent "Could you tell me when it happened? You know it right?" after a along silence, the boy answered:

"Why do you want to know that?" Sanosuke sighed.

"We've been searching something, about Megumi." He paused and Kenshin's eyes frowned. "We've been meeting to search for clues about what upsets her. We are starting to figure out the dates of every death we know." He paused and Kenshin realized he was moving some papers "She doesn't know of them of course."

…..

Yahiko got out of the infirmary wearing a tired expression. Kaoru and Aoshi, who were waiting for any answer from the room, rose up to meet the man. Only Kaoru approached him and Yahiko took special note of that, eyeing the young man, seeing his uncertain face. Kaoru followed his line of view once she approached him.

"Is she ok?" She turned to him once more. "She didn't force her memory or anything did she?"

"I don't think the faint came from that." He turned his gaze to her "She was choked and collapsed."

"I'm glad it's only that…" Aoshi said passing an hand trough his hair. The two looked at him for a moment. Yahiko started to approach the young man with a serious face, analyzing him with his eyes.

"Misao was right." He stated amazed and Aoshi looked at him confused "She said we could find someone here at the university. Maybe she thought we could find you, but she would never say that." Aoshi eyed him for a second "That silly girl only thinks of you since she remembers. She had various and serious collapses before, trying to seek something from the back of her head, in her memories. Mentioning you still came with the new her, but she's growing."

"I never knew it was real, the dreams." Aoshi replied with a calm voice "It made me think of them of course, more than a usual person does for a simple dream. These ones came every night, never following each other. I never saw anyone and although I wanted to forget, they always came. That's when I saw Kaoru." Yahiko turned his head to her and her breath somewhat locked inside her. She felt she needed to explain.

"I-I..." Yahiko approached her with confused eyes. Was she making a fool of herself now? Their conversation never hit a bell in her either. She felt so out of this group.

"Kaoru," Yahiko placed a hand on her shoulder searching for her eyes. She never realized he was so near and was surprised. "It's ok we understand…" She felt tears coming to fall from her eyes. Trying to control her nerves, she showed him a smile.

"Well, now that everything is ok with her, I should get going." She came to pick her bag which was close by the door. Kaoru turned to them once more and showed the same smile. "Take care!"

"I'm going too, perhaps I can accompany you?" Aoshi suddenly said making her turn to him surprised.

"That's really not necessary, besides," she smiled to him "Misao must really be wishing to see you. But Thanks anyway." She now definitely turned her back to them and walked to the exit carrying it until she was far from sight from them. Yahiko was watching his expression, whose mysterious eyes followed the girl's figure.

…..

Hold it… Hold it…

Kaoru thought to herself trying to control her emotions. Her eyes closed time from time, always like that, until she reached her door step and got inside her house. When her door closed, her knees failed her and she found herself holing her tears with her hands. Her figure was sad and painful.

Why? Why do I feel so useless?

"Maybe she thought we could find you, but she would never say that. That silly girl only thinks of you since she remembers. She had various and serious collapses before, trying to seek something from the back of her head, in her memories. Mentioning you still came with the new her"

Why?

"I never saw anyone and although I wanted to forget, they always came. That's when I saw Kaoru"

So was that the reason why you came to talk to me that day? And always been talking…To seek for something she didn't even know if she possessed…what it was…

Moans came with her crying when Megumi's face came to her memory. But why was she feeling so regretful? So painful inside? There was something…something in the mysterious eyes of her friends, who knew… knew that maybe she wasn't the Kaoru…

All these days she fooled herself with this entire memories thing, that she belonged to this group that had a past together. She really wanted to feel part of it…because of her trip to America and to live there, knowing she would be back again, never gave her the chance of socialize, of opening herself to others…of having a group of friends of her own.

She was only fooling herself…desperately seeking for something she never had…

Her two small hands wiped her tired cry eyes with a sigh. A sigh of defeat.

…..

End of chapter 7

A/N: Breaking news-I'm alive! Yup, it's true and I didn't forget this story either, although I'm really busy with university, I'm still writing and wanting to finish this so please try to be a little patient…I'm already writing chapter 8 I might finish it soon (or I hope so).

About this chapter, Aoshi appeared which I think it's a surprise ( I don't know, do you think? oO) Misao reaction was a little cliché I know but answers to it will follow on the next chapter. I love how yahiko looks so adult and mature, I always liked this character. He was a really important character when Enishi appeared and Kenshin crisis began. I want to point that out in this fic. About Kenshin and Kaoru, I've nothing much to say, you have to keep reading and find out.

icyblossom3, Cake Mix, Sesshoumaru Minion, Ro, Becky, Stella-neko, Thank you all for reviewing and encouraging me to continue, it really helps!

Please, review! Let me know what you think! )