Disclaimer: Nope, still own nothing. I even checked to be sure.

Authors note: As promised, here's the next chapter. The following won't be able to be up as quickly. I took a little more time to read over this one because I noticed a few mistakes in the last two chapters. My apologies for that. This one picks up right where the last one left off, with Ashley answering Spencer's question.

Again, thanks so much for the kind reviews. It encourages me to keep writing more. So hey, if you keep liking what you read, just let me know.

Oh, and lastly, Happy Valentine's Day everyone.

Chapter 3

"More than anything I wish I could tell you that I'm pulling away out of some sort of need to protect you from this world. The world of gay bashing, of being hated because of who you love, of having your own mother treat you like shit because of who you are. But despite how full of myself I can be, I'm not so full of myself to believe that you're only attracted to guys and me. If it wasn't me, it would be some other girl." Ashley's voice cracked at the last sentence.

"Maybe. I didn't suddenly change just because I met you. This undercurrent of being attracted to girls has always been there. But you were the first person I trusted enough to help me work through it. Maybe there would be another girl, but I know, without a doubt, it would take me a long time to get you out of my system," Spencer responded, looking at the older girl with so much love in her eyes that Ashley felt she might die right there. And she would be happy. Instead she stood and began to pace.

"I know Spence. Me too. That's why I need you in my life. Because without you I'm no longer whole. I'm broken. And how someone I haven't known for that long could be someone so important to me, I'll never know. And how someone who looks like you, and who I want so much, could ever become more than just a sex object in my eyes…well at this point I wouldn't be surprised if in his next speech George Dubya introduced his new life partner Bubba."

Spencer couldn't help but chuckle at the image. But Ashley noticed she was beginning to look frustrated. "Ashley, all of this is great. Honestly. I love that I mean as much to you as you do to me, but none of this answers my question. If anything it's making it harder for me to understand your actions," Spencer said standing up herself.

"Hey! I listened to gazebo story. Now it's your turn to listen. This is hard for me. I'm doing the best I can. The being honest about my feelings thing is kinda new to me."

Spencer sat back down. "You're right. I'm sorry."

Ashley kneeled in front of the sitting girl, as close as she could possibly get without actually touching her. She stared straight into Spencer's and took a deep breath before starting again.

"If there is one thing I am sure of, it's that I can't lose you. You don't know the pre-Spencer Ashley. You've seen hints of it but you just don't know. Now that I know what it's like to have someone who cares and is willing to defend me and step in to protect me, I don't ever want to lose it. I feel like all of my life I've been simply treading water waiting for something to save me. You're my rescue boat Spence. You saved me as much as I helped you."

Ashley watched as Spencer's eyes searched her on in desperation. Trying to find out if she was telling the truth, trying to figure out where all this was going. Ashley looked back, trying to answer those questions with her own eyes. Her heart began to beat even harder due to their connection.

Ash stood back up breaking the connection and took a few steps back. "I'm afraid Spencer. I'm afraid if I give you this last bit of myself and then you leave me, that I will drown. If I lose you as a friend it will hurt desperately, but if I lose you as something more I won't survive. The more I thought about it I just figured you'd be more likely to stay around if we didn't get intimate. I'm a hard person to be with. I'm a heart breaker."

When she finished speaking she simply stood and waited. Spencer was still for a moment and then she stood as well, walking over to the brunette and looked hard into her face.

"Ash, we've been intimate since the day we met. We don't know the normal 'look at us, we're such great friends' bullshit about one another like favorite color and animal. We went straight into what was in each other's heart. We saved each other without even trying. It was practically written in the stars that we were to meet. That's rare, Ash. That's fucking rare."

The curse startled Ashley into trying to speak but Spencer barreled ahead.

"And I'm only telling you this because you need to understand this is not some run of the mill possible relationship for me. Even beyond the wanting a girl bit, this thing, this whatever we are, is intense. It's intense already despite what we have or haven't done. I can't just turn off my feelings. And I can't reassure you about our future Ashley because I can't see the future so whatever I said, it could be a lie. And I will never lie to you Ash. Do you hear me? I choose you. I want you. Everywhere I look, I see you. And I am not going anywhere."

At some point during her impassioned speech Spencer had grabbed Ashley's hands between her own and had begun to squeeze. Ashley found the pressure to be as intoxicating asthe girl'swords. Both the words and the pressure were borderline painful but in a good way. In a way that held truth and promise. Ashley stared into Spencer's eyes and realized they held unshed tears. Her mind reeled as she desperately tried to think of something to say but when she opened her mouth nothing came out. She didn't want to ruin this perfect moment. She wanted nothing, especially her own words, to shatter the hope she was feeling.

In the silence Spencer was the first to break eye contact. The pressure released from Ashley's hands as the blonde girl turned away. "I'm sorry," she whispered back over her shoulder, hand sneaking up to catch unseen tears. "I'm sorry it wasn't enough."

The shock of Spencer's interpretation of her silence finally coaxed words from Ashley's traitorous vocal chords. "God no, Spence. No. You are…you even surpass 'enough' in your sleep. The day you were born you were so much more than 'enough'." Ashley put her arms around the girl in front of her. "I just…this whole day has been a drain for me. I'm not used to someone caring so much and I was confused and scared. I just need to digest all of this. We both do. But I'm not letting you go either. Not ever. Come on, let's go back to my house. We'll pick up some food for dinner. Just you and me, okay?"

Ashley held her breath hoping Spencer would understand what she was trying to say. She didn't want to jump into bed. She just wanted to be with the girl in her arms, just be together comfortably in a room with their new understanding of each other. Ashley felt her arms shaking with the built up tension caused by the whole conversation.

Spencer leaned back into the hug. "Okay. Let's go. I'll call my dad from your car."

They began to walk shoulder to shoulder back to the car when Ashley stopped. "Wait. Wait here." She ran to the car and in a few seconds emerged and ran by Spencer back to the gazebo.

Spencer slowly followed behind and watched as Ashleygently ran her hands along the wood of the gazebo with her eyes closed. Eventually she found what she was looking for and stopped, looking over to Spencer. The blonde smiled and nodded. Yeah, they just understood each other sometimes. There was no way to deny this. Ashley uncapped the marker and wrote carefully, "Ashley and Spencer" simply. Then she stepped away and held out her hand. "Come on Spence. Let's go."

The next chapter is also all Ashley and Spencer. But then if I haven't lost my readers yet other characters do actually show up in later chapters...which don't exist on paper yet, but my head is pretty busy with ideas.