Well, I'm not sure what happened, but this didn't format right with my computer or something. At least, I hope that's all it is. Anyway, here is the next part. I'm hoping to get some readers. Please don't hesitate to give me any sorts of feedback, whatsoever. Thanks.
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns this galaxy far, far away. I just borrowhischaracters for some fun.
2Slaveboys and Pick-Up Lines
You know, as I look back on it, Tatooine is really not that bad a place. It's a little hot sure, and there's sand that gets into your every nook and cranny, and yes Mos Eisley is a wretched hive of scum and villainy, but…
Aw, who am I kidding? Master Luke was right when he told us that the place blew.
Well, that was the gist of what he said anyway.
What?
I was just getting to that part! Yes, Tatooine, the place where the Queen and her trusty sidekicks had to crash land to get the hyperdrive fixed.
We landed on the outskirts of Mos Espa and Captain Panaka, head of the Queen's security, decided that only a few trusted, loyal, noble and brave few should have to venture out into rough world of outlaws and criminals.
Naturally, I was chosen to lead the way. Accompanying me were the not so bad Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn, the absolutely wretched Jar Jar Binks, and the Queen. Er, I mean Padmé. She was curious about the planet or something. Don't ask me. Organics.
So we left the ship and proceeded into town. I let Qui-Gon lead the way, interested to see what solution he might come up with. I already had a master plan in mind, of course, but I was curious to see how the Jedi's mind would work.
I probably should have just gone with my instincts, but I was a younger droid then, and wasn't quite so aware of just how foolish organics could be.
Qui-Gon decided that we'd try one of the smaller dealers first to pick up a new hyperdrive. We entered a small shop and encountered a Toydarian who put on the whole salesman routine very well. The slimy salesman routine that is.
The Toyadarian was named Watto, and he was fooled by Qui-Gon's brilliant plan to keep my cover hidden by presenting me as the one with the information about the ship. He really was a clever one at times.
But who's still here?
I digress. Watto bought into our business immediately and then called some scrawny slaveboy from the back of his shop to keep an eye on the store while Qui-Gon and I talked about more important matters.
A kid who was in serious need of a haircut came running out, sassed Watto, sat on the counter of the store and began to moodily clean some droid part.
And that was how I met Anakin Skywalker.
He was nothing too impressive for sure, though the looks he was giving the Queen were so obvious even I could tell he wanted her. And the mechanics of organic "romance" are something I don't even pretend to understand, though it's amusing to watch Threepio try to do it.
As I rolled out after Qui-Gon I couldn't help but overhear his opening line to her.
"Are you an angel?"
Her response was, understandably, "What?"
No kidding. I tossed back. I've heard better lines from the lowly serfs on Naboo slaveboy!
But of course, my witty retort was lost on both as they began their path to destiny. Or the path to mush.
Qui-Gon and I went into the back and found all sorts of ship parts. The poor Jedi tried to fool the Toydarian with a mind trick into giving him a hyperdrive on Republic credits.
"I'm a Toydarian, mind tricks don't work on me! Only money!" The blue rat spat out.
Apparently hygiene doesn't work on you either. I snapped back, my databanks telling me that his sensory glands were working overtime. Though it was pretty much self-evident from the flies buzzing around him too.
It was a nice try Qui-Gon. I said soothingly to the Jedi Master as he turned back and we prepared to leave.
Inside, Jar Jar was being stupid and the two kids were pleasantly engaged in some sort of communication.
Let's go troops! I snapped. They immediately fell into place. We marched on into the blistering hot sun and I prepared to relieve Qui-Gon of his command and put my plan into action. The poor guy really needed time to relax.
Look, Qui…
But I never got to finish, as Jar Jar took that very moment to try and steal some food from a vendor's stall.
I rolled back frustrated. Is there nothing redeemable about you? I snapped at him as a Dug tried to choke him.
Cue Anakin Skywalker, preventing me from shocking both the Dug and Jar Jar into oblivion.
For reasons I can't understand, slaveboy prevented Jar Jar from meeting a timely end and I saw Qui-Gon fall in love with the kid.
Remember the rule of attachments! I told him as he and Anakin now walked along, the Queen looking curiously at the young boy.
And you young lady, head out of the clouds! You've got a planet to save remember? I chided Padmé.
As if sensing my irritation, Padmé turned to me momentarily.
"He's kind of cute," she confided in me briefly with a small grin.
I gave the equivalent of a mechanical groan. He'll be the death of you all, mark my words.
Little did I know how true that sentiment was going to become. I tell you, if it weren't for this midichlorian nonsense, I would have been on the Jedi Council long ago.