Fallen

by eliana-moran

Effected more deeply than anyone ever imagined by Tom's intrusion into her life, Ginny is drowning in the darkness. Will someone be there to catch her when she falls? warning: contains suicide attempt

6. My Immortal

That night, Ginny sat hugging her knees in the center of her bed with the drapes pulled tightly shut, crying. She was so tired of being here, afraid of everything, allowing all her childish fears to keep her down.

Screaming up at the ceiling, up at Tom, she said, "If you have to leave, why can't you just leave?!"

Her head fell back down and she was racked with sobs. His presence just wouldn't leave her alone, it was always with her, always lingering about.

None of the wounds he had given her were healing. The pain still cut through her dreams, they were simply too real to be ignored. They said that time healed everything, but they were wrong. There were too many things that time could not erase and too many wounds that could not heal if they could be remembered.

She remembered all the time she had listened to Tom cry about the way he had been treated as a child, about the loneliness and isolation, and she remembered all the times that she had comforted him. She remembered all the times that he had confided in her about his fears. He was so afraid of being alone forever, so afraid of being too weak to survive on his own, so afraid that he had become what he was to eliminate that possibility. She knew now that he had been lying. Oh, she was sure those fears were real, but so was his hatred and the enjoyment he found in another's pain. All the same, she chased away his fears just as she had wiped away his tears. If she was honest, she knew he still had all of her.

He had this resonating light that came from him, this energy, this life that had captivated her the first time he had drawn her into his journal to meet him. She had been in awe of him. Now she was bound by his absence, by the whole he left in her life. His face haunted her once pleasant dreams. The voice he left in her head made her feel like she was going insane.

She had no idea how many times she had told herself that he was gone, but it didn't matter. Whether he was there or not, even when he had been, she was still alone. She knew that now. Malfoy's words had forced her to examine her life, herself, and she now knew that no one was there for her, no one ever had been. She had to stand on her own or fall.

She knew she was falling.