I've made it! The last chapter and the return of the Italics! I never thought it would come but it has, even with my bout of flu like symptoms and lack of brain function. In true Joss style I brought people back from the dead and had Willow talk to Spike for no apparent reason. Now this is MY chapter.

I want to thank everyone who inspired me along the way, and everyone who violently critiqued me. I want to thank my UPSTACU for the comments and help.

IMPORTANT: Please PLEASE download the song!!! If you haven't downloaded the others PLEASE download this one and listen to it… I've become addicted to it and you need to hear it in order to really get it. NUTSHELL by ALICE IN CHAINS.

DISCLAIMER: Don't own, -mumble mumble- yada yada yada… great Joss W. bla… I OWN Jay, Jake, Sasha, Chiyo and that pain in the ass Blade.

Note: check my profile as I will add more art and prolly the music links in another day or so. I have some Jake art just about ready to go…

Chapter 17: The Last Good-bye

"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not" Andre Gide

Willow was left alone in the Summer's house, as the others nursed their hangovers from their night at the Bronze, she had opted to got to the other house to pack and prepare for the night ahead. Although she wished she hadn't, she wasn't sure she wanted to get out of bed.

Things all seemed to be going wrong that morning, she put her shirt on backwards, she burnt her toast, and she spilt her tea all over the countertop. She was jumpy, more jumpy then she had been in a long time. She couldn't help it. She had never really said goodbye. Just stayed numb, waiting for her Tara to come back, days had turned into weeks and those had turned into years. They had all seemed to melt into each other. Sure, she remained living and carried on. But in the back of her mind there had always been a glimmer of hope, that maybe one day, she would return to her.

Then she had gotten bitten, and her world had been turned around once again. Old scars had been scratched to the surface and once again and the wounds began to bleed. She had looked at Oz and somehow, through all the pain he had been through, found sanctuary in his arms, his eyes, in his smile. When he was with her, it was okay again, and no matter how much she thought otherwise, Tara had never existed.

But she had… she had, and Willow had never even said good-bye the right way. Never given her the wiccan ceremony that only she knew how to do. It was time, she couldn't move ahead with out going back, like so many things in life. Tara was dead, she knew that, she was so afraid to come to that conclusion, false hope still blinded her vision but she pushed that into the back of her mind. Tara was gone, and tonight she was going to have to face that.

It took all the strength she had not to go back to bed that morning. Somehow she managed to stick through it. Jay and Oz were coming tonight, to help her say goodbye, she had asked them to come, knowing full well that that she couldn't do it alone.

She needed them more than she needed the next breath of air. Not knowing what to do with herself, she busied herself cleaning the windows, then vacuuming, then washing the numerous amounts of dishes built up over three days.

When she had finished she was exhausted, but slightly pleased with her progress. Sitting down on the couch, she glanced over at the door, but mostly at the lone box that sat beside it. The one containing the white candles, the knotted cord and the rest of the things needed for the rest of the ceremony and shuddered, suddenly colder. She snapped her head back to the living room and the broken TV set, wishing the box wasn't there. Slowly she found herself falling asleep.

She jumped when she heard the knock on the door. Mostly because of the knock, but also because of the lack of sunlight that had just disappeared after what seemed like a minute ago. Now it was pitch dark and a perfect crescent moon had risen, beautiful and silver, like liquid.

Numbly she opened the door to face a stoic looking Oz and for once, a serious looking Jay. "Hey," Oz whispered. Jay stepped forward and gave her a hug. His body heat seemed to wash over her cold and jumpy body; the scent of wild cinnamon that always clung to him like a veil now fell across both of them. Willow took a deep breath in and absorbed the calm. Her tense body relaxed ever so slightly.

"Did you eat today?" Jay asked a worried line forming his mouth. Willow gave him a 'look.' Jay grinned, "I didn't think so." He pulled out a box of doughnuts. "Thought you should eat something before you did the mojo." He commented stepping back and handing her the box containing six jelly filled doughnuts.

Slowly a smile quirked on her face. " Thought doctors were into health food." Willow said grinning, her heart lightening for the first time that day. "I thought about that. I was going to get apple fritters, but, I thought an apple a day keeps the doctor away, and then I thought, why would you want to keep a face like this away?" Jay commented, gesturing vigorously at his face.

Willow laughed. "Hmm… I don't know." Willow said rolling her eyes sarcastically. Jay smiled. Willow felt a soft warm hand on her shoulder. She looked up and got lost in soft, sea green eyes. "You ready?" Oz asked softly.

Tears threatened her fake calm, but she nodded and bit them back. She couldn't prolong this anymore, it had to be done… she would have wanted it… She grabbed Oz's hand and they walked out of the house, Jay came behind them and hefted the box with all her components. Willow bit her lip and turned back, "Forgot my other stuff." She commented, re-entered the house and grabbed her clothes and everything she needed to survive outside of Sunnydale.

Jay watched her and offered his help, but she had everything under control and nodded, they would be leaving town that same night. Willow had already said goodbye, it had been hard but she needed to go. She couldn't stay any longer.

She had been surprised at how everyone had taken the news. It had been like they had already sensed that she was planning on leaving. Even before she knew she was going they had known, back at the Bronze, she had been so apprehensive, she remembered having to leave the party…

Jay's voice filled the room wired for sound, and he announced they would be playing some of his favourite tunes next. Willow couldn't stand sitting in the dark anymore and finished her drink before getting up to walk across the room and out the door leading to the roof. The songs started playing again.

Jay glanced at her and raised his eyebrows questioningly in the middle of playing the drums, she shrugged and then he wiggled them. Sighing she mock fanned her face and pointed to the door, she then mouthed 'air' and he nodded and went back to playing.

Oz walked over to her, still playing and gave her a small smile before going back to playing also. Willow smiled, it felt good knowing that they cared about her as much as she cared for them. She could hear the rain hitting the door like little fingers tapping on it, beckoning to come in.

She entered the door and got halfway up the stairs, the music carrying her up from behind before she smelt the familiar scent of cigarette smoke and aftershave, with a sigh she finished climbing the stairs and got hit by the light rain falling from the dark sky.

Reaching the top, she saw exactly what she had expected to see, Spike sitting on the ledge of the roof, stooped down under his leather duster, smoking. She sighed, wishing she could go back to being surprised at what was behind the door.

Spike glanced up, and she could tell he already knew she was coming; he took another drag, "Did you want me to leave?" He asked raising a scarred eyebrow. Willow shook her head, somehow glad for the company. "You were here first." She commented taking a seat beside him. "And, I'm almost done…" He added showing off his spent smoke.

Willow rolled her eyes, "Cause I'm sure you're thrilled to be able to go back in there. Buffy's too full of drugs to kick you outside to smoke, besides Faith's in there smoking, you're out here cause you need to be." She commented a grin falling easily on her lips. Spike raised his eyebrows, she was right, but that wasn't new, she always seemed to pick up on his loner mentalities; although he wasn't completely sure how.

"How is Buffy holding up anyways?" Willow asked feeling bad that she hadn't really talked to her best friend since coming to. "Good enough, day in the life of a slayer." Spike quoted with a sigh.

They stood in silence as the rain fell on them both quietly. The moon was just a light part buried under a thick blanket of clouds. Somehow Willow could relate with the bleach blond, and somehow, she always ended up alone with him during critical parts of each other's lives. Was it karma? She didn't really know, all she knew was that he had the strength to open up to her and that she should too. She just didn't really know how to start.

"So, you know why I'm up here, but do you know why you're up here?" Spike asked deciding on lighting up another smoke. Willow frowned at the strange question. "What do you mean?" She asked turning towards the vampire.

"You've only just begun to figure out what the price of your immortality costs." Spike commented seriously. Willow frowned and half way through, realized she knew vaguely what he was talking about. She followed his gaze to the sky. "It all seems to be connected doesn't it?" She asked quietly.

Spike tore his gaze away from the sky and glanced at her. "That's because it is Red. It's not a coincidence that every curse I can think of that causes immortality is based even roughly on the moon." Spike commented. Looking back to the moon. Willow watched his expression, it was hard to read, but sorrow flashed just behind his usual vampire calm.

"I haven't been in the sunlight for one hundred and twenty years Red. My soul begs for it, but it's beyond my abilities. It's not just being a vampire, I'm truly scared love. I'm scared because I forgot the way it was before. Before I was cursed, before I was reborn into a creature of the night. That's not right on anyone." Spike slurred. He sighed and he carried on staring at the moon.

"But, you can go out in the sun, in the shadows." Willow commented pointedly. Spike flicked his wrist. "That's even worse. I'm so close but I can't make it one more step further. It mocks me to be outside, it's another example of our weakness." Spike commented silently, he took another drag of his cigarette, twisting his Zippo in his pale, black painted fingers.

"Being a vampire is like living life with your eyes closed. It's so tempting to just throw the lids open and take a peek at the world you can barely remember, even though it's only been a little while, but you can't 'cause after a while your fears replace the curiosity. Memories turn into shadows of a doubt and those turn into impossible dreams." Spike stated quietly.

"I'm glad for you Red; at least you aren't confined to the darkness." Spike spoke, a hint of bitterness underlying the calm. Willow couldn't help the anger that flared up in her chest. She wasn't lucky. She would never be lucky. The rain kept falling.

"You can't even stand being in the same room as the rest of them." Spike continued. "Now that you can see life from the other side. It doesn't feel the same as before, they seem more empty now, they seem less alive." Spike commented.

Willow nodded, hating that she was agreeing with him, but it was true. "Does, does that ever go away?" She asked in a pained voice, tearing her gaze from the moon. "It lessons, if that's what you mean, but the ego comes with the scar. Spike commented showing off faded bite marks on his neck.

She hadn't even thought about the scar the bite would have left behind. It wasn't really bothersome. Now, she reached back to her shoulder and felt two healed over bumps where the teeth had punctured the skin. A shiver ran through her body, a sudden chill took her and she sighed.

"We all have our demons Willow, ours are just more apparent. It isn't just us super naturals, but humans as well." Spike commented softer this time. They stood in silence for a moment as the rain came down on them both.

"You still love him don't you?" Spike asked raising an eyebrow. Willow frowned at the question. Finally she nodded, "Somehow, through all this I do. I-I just don't know if I can." She stated finally. Spike frowned, "Because he's a werewolf? Or because if you love him, you can't possibly still love Tara?" Spike asked. Even the name brought a chill to her body, especially coming from him.

"I want to leave Spike. I want to go with them, but I don't know if I can let myself." Willow commented. "Oz is a good bloke, and as much as I hate to admit it, even that git Jay has some good qualities, you would be safe with them. Hell, it's probably good if you spend some time learning how to be a werewolf. It's not like Sunnydale is going anywhere love." Spike spoke genuinely; it was only one in a few times that she had heard that from him before.

"But…" Willow bit her lip. "Listen love, you've been stuck in this town too long already, see the world, you have a new chance and if you don't take it you'll be miserable." Spike interjected. "What if something happens?" Willow asked looking down. "I do believe this is the twentieth century, there's thing called a telephone and internet, hell you have a blond with issues in there that can be anywhere in a blink of an eye, and you're still worried. Now you're making up excuses." Spike dismissed. "You have a chance to start fresh, don't blow it like I did." He added shaking a finger in her direction.

Willow sighed, she pulled herself up on the side of the ledge and sat down on the edge, facing the now lowering moon. Spike joined her. "I'm used to staying half way in the shadows Red, in the part just beyond where the darkness eats up all the light, just beyond the point of view. That's been my life for two hundred years; you'll always feel that your life could have never been what it was supposed to be. If you have someone to hold onto, who's not insane and knows what it's like. Someone you love, you deserve at least that Willow." Spike finished.

Willow sighed, "What am I going to tell everyone?" She asked after a while a frown creased her forehead. "What you told me, you gotta leave for a while but you'll be back." Spike stated. Willow sighed, "I guess so." She stated slowly, her heart still undecided.

"You aren't doing anything wrong Red. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you did nothing wrong and it's probably better that you spend some time out of the hellmouth, hell even Xander took that trip to go discover the States." Spike commented flicking the spare ash off his smoke.

The rain kept falling. Willow nodded, he was right, she sighed again. It was going to be a long night.

They drove in an uncomfortable silence as the van slid along the wet roads and quiet streets, the rain had ceased since the morning but nothing had dried out yet. Oz was driving and Jay was in the passengers seat, Willow sat in the back, trying to think of other things, wondering how Jake and Faith were getting along after the night before, wondering if she had changed anything, giving him the ring.

As they drove the familiar streets she watched as the world she had come to know as life washed past her eyes. Wondering if she would really miss it when she was gone. It seemed too small and cramped now; it was a feeling she couldn't even begin to explain. She wished there was something else she could have done to make herself feel better. Saying good-bye felt like something that came too quickly, like she needed another few years, like she was missing something. She just didn't feel strong enough; she guessed no one ever did.

Willow watched as in between sets the band changed, Jake spoke a few quiet words to Oz, who nodded and walked over to the bar to grab an empty stool from the bar and brought it back.

Life just seemed so different now, no one was left the same from their pasts, no one was left unchanged one way or another. It wasn't just another high school dance anymore. They had just fought a war, they had just killed a bunch of people and they had been the ones left standing. Non at all were left the same as when they had come into this town, she just felt… trapped; she wanted to leave, but if she did, it would have been as good as giving up on all the good in the world. She felt like she was planning on abandoning her best friends for a different breed. The breed she had been turned into against her own will.

Anger filled her chest and flashed in her eyes for a brief moment, and she knew she still had a lot to learn in that second. Glancing over at Xander, who was laughing on the dance floor at something Anya had said. She didn't know if she could leave him, or the Summer's sisters for that matter. She loved them, they were her true family, they had been devoted to their friendship since they first time they had all met each other, and everyone played an important part in the group.

Looking down she examined her hands, even they seemed to have changed with the past moon phase, they were stronger, more slender, and… shared. There was nothing she could do about it, she was living in a new shell, sure it was no longer so foreign, but they were still new. She shifted uncomfortably in her chair for a moment and played with her hair a bit to take her mind off of it.

It was longer than she remembered it being, just a few weeks before. Sighing she glanced up at the stage again, Jake was sitting front and center this time, right in the middle, his feet propped up on the bottom of his stool and he glanced out into the spot light for a moment, like it hypnotized him. Dust floated on a draft coming from outside of the old club. It flew through the light on what looked like great gusts of breeze, but in reality it was barely anything on her skin. The wolf informed her that a light rain was falling outside.

She glanced back up at the stage, Jay had taken out a feathery sort of brush and changed a few things around on the drum set, Oz had taken up another electric guitar, Jake had an acoustic guitar and it had a clip, situated on the C bar, secured tightly to the neck. Connor had gotten on stage to help, and now was holding Jake's bass, and was looking down on it with a look of pride mixed with fear, she guessed she had missed the warning speech about hurting Jake's equipment and the painful death that would follow as a consequence.

She watched as slowly Jake took off his shirt, displaying his slim, well toned body, secured his black 'paper boy cap' firmly over his long blond hair and placed his guitar gently on his knees, getting a comfortable position. Willow could smell his apprehension in the air, and her and Oz made eye contact. He gave her a small smile and nodded over to his friend.

Willow noticed for the first time that Jake's gaze had been glued to Faith's since he had begun. Willow glanced over to Faith, who was smiling, apparently pleased that Jake was up there and she nodded at him. Willow glanced up to Jake, like she was in a tennis match, and she saw him visibly swallow his pride, his right hand going to his left, he tugged off her ring. Willow grinned, happy he was ok with that, and she watched as he nervously dropped in onto the floor of the stage with a thunk that only people with super hearing could have heard.

His wings appeared in a glimmer of magic, and he looked almost otherworldly to her. She watched as his apprehension suddenly disappeared, he had nothing else to bear to his audience. With the thought of the audience, Willow glanced around at the rest of her friends in the bar. Most of them were watching Jake others were talking, everything was made laid back enough for the blond on stage to feel comfortable.

Glancing back to the stage she watched as a small smile slid onto Jake's face and knew instantly who it was for, Faith, she wasn't sure what was up with that.

Jake reached out for the microphone and spoke clearly, "Thought, we'd slow it down for a song, for everyone who's made a sacrifice to keep fighting for good, and in the process, keep getting up in the morning day after day. Life's tough for us in the know, and sometimes it doesn't seem like we're making a very big dent in everything, but we keep going, because we have too, our consciences won't allow anything less. So here's for fighting the good fight, and winning this one." He mumbled into the mic.

Cheers erupted from the small crowd and Jake waited for silence before he did something no one had expected him to do. He stretched out his long wings, cracks and pops sounded from his back, but Jake kept a straight face, strength hiding the strain it took from him, even though Willow caught a sharp intake of breath.

A small blush formed on the man's pale cheeks, but he stayed quiet, reverence making him feel better, as he waited for Dawn to hit the lights. The spotlight focused on him, other than that there was complete darkness; the room was silent except for the sounds of soft midnight rain hitting the tin roof. He then started strumming lightly, the guitar filling the silent room with a sad, quiet song. One someone could have expected to be played on a modern soldier's mp3 player after a bad day.

Then Jay started on the drums, backed up with Connor on the bass, and Jake's tenor hit the air like it was being cut in half…

We… chase misprinted lies

We… face the path of time

And yet I fight

And yet I fight

This battle all alone

No one to cry to

No place to call home

Oz started with his electric guitar and Jay moved his microphone over to sing back-up which he started with right away.

Oooh…Oooh…

Oooh…Oooh…

Oz quieted his guitar slightly and Jay got comfortable with the drums again allowing Jake to take center stage again, both nodded at their friend and the cue came up for more singing, tenor hit the air again and Willow noticed she had been holding her breath.

My gift of self is raped

My privacy is raked

And yet I find

And yet I find

Repeating in my head

If I can't be my own

I'd feel better dead

Oz and Jay's voice pierced the air again, allowing Jake a break.

Oooh...Oooh...

Oooh...Oooh…

Jake finished off the song with the rest of the band in a solo each and then the music slowly died away. The entire room was silent until Xander started clapping applause followed soon after and Jake bent down, picked up his ring and slid it back on again before the lights could be turned back on. The magic of the moment disappeared with the light. He was just a regular man again; everyone put their masks back on.

It was new and hard as she realized how much people hid behind the light, not daring to bear their souls to each other for fear of judgment.

Willow barely felt the van stop as they parked in the cemetery. The still wet grass sparkled in the moonlight. Jay was the first one out of the car; he was still holding the box firmly. It was a warm night, and the cemetery was blanketed in a slight mist, other than that, all was quiet.

Willow wasn't counting on running into anything that night. Even though this was Sunnydale, they had probably taken out most of the vampire population that one night of fighting. She walked out onto the grass, leaving her shoes behind and opting for bare feet. The night was calm, and the silence that fell over the graveyard was slightly calming to her, she felt Jay and Oz on either side of her and a small smile etched across her face.

No matter how much she wanted to think otherwise she knew at that point that she needed them there. A soft breeze lifted her hair off her back as she walked, and suddenly it felt too quiet. Too perfect in the cemetery where she had seen so much pain, and so many things go horribly wrong.

A chill went through her body and she took a shuddering sigh. Oz reached for her hand and she readily accepted it, their fingers intertwined and Jay glanced at her and offered her a small smile. It was un-naturally quiet, she was used to hearing Xander's heavy steps behind her, and Buffy's heels hit rocks as they patrolled.

Now she was with werewolves, everything about the way they moved was un-natural, they walked with the grace of a dancer and the silence of a predator. Nothing about them seemed human in that moment, nothing about her, seemed human in that moment, hell she was not only with werewolves she was a werewolf.

Somehow it was oddly surreal, in that moment she accepted what she was, embraced her new life with more brilliance than she thought she possessed. She felt her eyes flash; she felt her toes dig ever so slightly into the grass, breaking the surface and reaching into the wet, blessed soil beneath it.

She walked, as if she was in a trance, she heard the slight scrape of fabric and she knew Oz had turned to look at her. He still didn't know what happened when he was fighting Blade… She thought biting her lip. She guessed he had some idea; he was a smart person, smarter than most people gave him credit for. She of all people knew that.

She walked, past a large willow tree, it's long branches hung just below a small pond and brushed against her body, the only sound came from the small fountain in the center of the pond, that burbled quietly, like it was tired of years of running on end. Wind whispered through the limbs of the tree, it tickled past the silent threesome and back to it's home in the north. Moonlight made everything seem more still, and it penetrated the mist just enough so that they could see the ground.

Even the night birds quieted as the werewolve's presence penetrated further into the hallowed ground. Finally her feet stopped before her brain could translate where she was. Slowly she glanced down past the granite inlay to the words inscribed on the stone. Tara McKay… her girl… Tears threatened her calm but she forced herself to stare down at the words… there she stood for a full two minutes, just reading her name.

When she was sure she could stand it, she moved her gaze lower, to the dried flowers she had left the last time she had come, the yellow of the flowers had long faded from the brilliance they had been the last time she had seen them, having survived the winter, without another visit, the once pure white ribbon was now speckled with dirt, and brown.

She couldn't believe how long it had been since she had visited her girl, the day before, it had felt like just yesterday that she had died, and now she realized the vast amount of time that had passed since that day.

Tears prickled her nose and threatened to fall down her cheeks, but they didn't have time to fall as, Jay putting the box on the grass roused her from her memories, the sound echoed off the trees and the stones, she reeled back panic filled her eyes. Jay backed off immediately, "Sorry…" He mumbled dropping eye contact like he expected her to lash out. Instead she felt her knees hitting the wet grass, a sob escaping her chest.

"Oh Willow…" Jay sighed placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry…" He stated quietly. He glanced at Oz who ran a hand through his still blue hair. Willow grabbed Jay's hand and Oz took the other one and she cried.

She cried for longer than she had ever cried in her life, she cried until her chest hurt and she hiccupped. Both men didn't say a word, neither left her side either, they stayed with her until she was finished, and when she was finished she just sat, staring at the ground beneath her wishing to be anywhere else. Wishing to be strong again.

She wiped away her own tears and took the tissue Jay offered her, finally she stood, letting out a deep sigh and walked to the box. She began making a circle of salt once again, having memorized the steps of the spell, with good intentions long ago.

The men stepped back, knowing better than to disrupt her. Jay watched her intrigued, but Oz watched with knowing eyes, wondering what she was thinking as she went through the steps and admiring her courage as he watched her steady hands, placing representation of each element on each side of her circle, earth, air, fire and water.

"Xander, I need to leave." Willow stated quietly in the back of the Bronze. She forced herself to look up into his familiar root beer coloured eyes. Surprisingly they didn't seem surprised, instead they were soft. "How long?" He asked quietly.

Willow shook her head, "I don't know." She stated looking down again. She felt his arm wrap around her shoulders. "You need this Will, go with them and remember to call." Xander commented a small smile forming on his lips. "You never had the 'discover America' trip, you're due for a vacation." He added.

Willow smiled. "You think?" She asked. "I know Willow, do what you gotta do, but don't be a stranger ya hear?" Xander drawled. Willow laughed at his bad accent. "Every second day." She promised. "And Holidays?" Xander asked. Willow grinned, "And holidays." She agreed. "Christmas?" Xander asked. "That counts as a holiday." Willow stated frowning. "Charlie Brown?" Xander was pouting now.

"I wouldn't miss it." Willow reassured as Xander gave her a preview of this year's Snoopy dance. Willow laughed. "I promise." She managed as most of the people in the club had turned around and were now watching him. Jay even turned around and exclaimed, "Hey! The Snoopy dance!" and began trying to copy the moves, if it was possible he was even worse than Xander.

Everyone sat down after that and caught their breath after all the laughing ceased. "So when are you leaving?" Xander asked after a while. Willow sighed, "Tomorrow. We're going to go visit Tara and then head out." Xander raised his eyebrows. "Whoa, that's fast." He commented. Willow nodded, "I don't think I can give myself very much time in between." She confessed.

Xander nodded, "I understand." He commented. Willow nodded, hoping he really did, "C-can you tell the others… I don't think I can do this again." Willow asked a blush falling across her face. Xander nodded and enveloped her into a hug. "You got it." He whispered in her ear.

Willow stood from the center of the circle, having placed a bouquet of white and red roses in front of the stone, and wiped stray tears out of her eyes. She was finished. It was finished. The guilt was gone, but the pain still stayed fresh in her heart. She stood motionless for a long time, just waiting for something to change, something to acknowledge that what she did had made a difference in something. Nothing came. She knew that was how the spell was supposed to work, but it didn't make the hurt any better.

She was proud she did the spell; she just wished it had done something more exciting than what it did. Glancing up at the sky she spotted the moon behind the clouds above. She was ready to leave; she just wanted to do one thing first. Leaving the boys behind she walked over to the nearest crypt and slid out of her clothes. She then got on all fours and beckoned the wolf to come out. It obliged happily and she began the change.

It didn't take her long and when she was finished she watched through the wolf's eyes, she came out from behind the crypt and walked over to her boys, who were still in human form and grunted. She smiled inwardly when Oz didn't look surprised and Jay cocked an eyebrow at his friend who cheesily rolled his eyes.

Willow sat in front of them both and grinned the best she could before both guys who automatically got moving found their own crypt to change behind. Soon both a sandy coloured wolf and a chocolate coloured wolf emerged from behind the crypts, both of which carrying a bundle of clothing. The sandy one went for hers as well and they both dropped the clothes in the box they had taken with them.

The Willow wolf stood to meet them and they both sat on either side of her, the sandy one on the right and the chocolate one on the left. Oz snorted at her and she sat down, he licked her muzzle once and she glanced over at the stone they sat in front of. Slowly a feeling crept up from the bottom of her stomach, an urge so strong she tried to hold it back but eventually embraced it completely. She brought her head up to stare at the lonely moon and her voice escaped her as she let out a low mournful howl.

Another howl answered on either side of her, but both haunting melodies died away a long time before hers did. All her emotion poured out of her soul and filled the air with a long solid note, one of a grieving widow and a best friend.

She wished for death in that moment. She wished she could follow her girl into the ground and leave all the pain on the earth. She wished she had never met her, or seen her beautiful eyes and her enchanting smile and everything about her that had been so perfect and pure. Now she was left, here, all alone in the space between birth and death and it felt as if her heart flew through her voice; as she cried to the heavens for death embrace this sister of the earth, but no such relief came.

Nothing came, she was one with herself but now both pieces grieved for her lost mate. Finally she brought her snout down to the ground, having run out of breath, she placed it so low that it was touching the wet grass and there she stayed watching the grass with watering eyes and smelling the earth with a dry nose. She felt sick and alone; until she felt two different muzzles hit her ears at once, and snuffle, tickling the inside.

Maybe she wasn't truly alone; she glanced up at the two males floating above her just slightly and willed her body to move, getting up she walked past the stone that represented so much to her and kept going, she was finished and she was leaving this place for now, she had to move on.

Once they had finished changing back, all three friends got into the van and drove out of the parking lot. All of them were silent, all of them had something to think about as they drove out of town for the second time in three days, as the dashboard clock hit midnight and the speedometer hit 80.

They didn't speak a word until they left the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign behind them. Jay glanced around the small cab and a sigh left him. "So where are we going?" He asked finally. Oz looked up at him and searched his face, "Miami." He answered finally. Jay's heart lightened slightly, "Home sweet home." He commented with a wry smile.

Willow smiled too, feeling better she was now out of town, Oz stuck a disk into the ratty player and music flowed through the speakers of the van. A peace fell over her and she laid back slightly on her pack, content to just sit. She felt a weight lift off her shoulders as she did, like a burden was gone, like the guilt was gone. It slowly sunk in that the guilt was gone, she was finished now and just the thought made her heart soar as she watched the scenery fly past the window…

Oz stood on the beach he had almost lived on with Sasha, alone for the first time since making it back to Miami, his feet resting in the warm wet sand. The rest of the day had been eaten up going through his old apartment and picking out things to keep, Willow, Jay and himself, had looked through every piece of art that Sasha had ever created and finally, instead of choosing which ones to keep, they decided to keep them all. Every bit of canvas in the apartment now filled Oz's van to the point of just being shy of packed full. There was barely enough space to fit the three of them in there at the same time.

It felt good, having everything sorted and taken care of. They had told stories of the good times that they had had with Sasha while packing up and it had made him feel comfortable coming to the beach now.

Willow was almost a different person, she was so much happier now than she had been back on her last night in Sunnydale, she had even begun designing a website for werewolves so that they could stay in contact and help the newly turned. The three of them had decided that they needed a place where the newly turned could go for help.

They were even thinking about starting a school or something where they could go, once they got the funds for it. Not all the C.W's had died, a lot were still out there and after realizing what was really going on in the C.W's had contacted them to offer their help. Others were still out there that wanted revenge, and they dealt them as they came up.

Right now they were just content to travel, they were leaving the next day, where he wasn't sure, but that was why it was fun. Another adventure. The setting sun bathed him in warm pink light and the cloudless sky gave him a vast spectrum of colours, layer upon layer each one with a separate colour adding to the full view.

Small sailboats drifted lazily across the sparkling ebony waves, reflecting off the pink and gold sky. Seagulls flew above his head and headed towards the main beach and dinner, they called to each other above his head as he walked into the waves.

The smell of the ocean spilled into his body, his heart soared and finally he felt at peace again. He was home. The beach had always been his home, kept his fondest memories and secrets. The inviting scent enveloped his lungs in the salty air. Freedom, it spoke to him.

He heard the sliding van door shut behind him on the empty street and turned to see his two best friends walking towards him, armed with half of Jay's drum kit, a guitar case and an amp. Willow also held a microphone and one end of a heavy-duty extension chord. Tonight was his night to say goodbye.

They set up quickly and Oz got on a guitar, the sun was almost down now, dipping behind the waves, the colour of saffron. There he strummed the familiar chords in rapid succession, weaving his pick through the six strings to create something new. The sound penetrated past the waves and was eaten up by the breeze, taken to new lands and far off places. The sound contented him to the core, and seemed to penetrate his soul, which was the only way he would have it. Willow sat in the sand and watched a smile spreading across her face as she bathed in the warm light.

The war seemed so far away as she watched the boys set up. There was no place she would rather be than right there. Away from everything she had ever known to be normal, a veil of peace surrounded her in that moment and she knew somehow that everything would work out.

Oz walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, situating himself behind her so that she could lean back on him. "I love you…" He whispered into her hair. She sighed, content, and grabbed his hand, twisting herself just so, allowing for his lips to collide with hers as the sun disappeared below the horizon.

End.

Don't be sad, there will be an epilogue, with Oz and Willow and some 14A rated stuff… not sure when that will come but it will. Hopefully it was good enough, I did some funky integration stuff that I'm still not sure about, but meh.

Now I shall have a vote-ie thing going where I want to know if you want a sequel, a prequel, or a novel-ie thing featuring Jake. It won't come for a while, so be sure to watch me, as I want to finish up some old poo I have stinking up the place.

Also: Someone brought it to my attention that they want to use my characters or storyboard to base their own fic off of, or do some fan art. That's fine as long as you let me know what you are doing, give me some fic props AND SHOW ME! Heh… you could even make Jay gay if you wanted… I dun care. See you in the epilogue! ((which again isn't coming for a while))

PEACE:

W-B-D