Part 3

She knew he was coming. Melanie had told her but she wasn't prepared for the sudden shaking of her hands and how clammy they felt. She had avoided him and the whole household for a day now. She needed time to think and have solitude. She had been so shaken when Rhett had pressed the gun to his chest and had acted insane. Her heart still raced at the thought and the memory of it. Mammy had tried to check on her and there were knocks but she had sent them all away.

And now Rhett was finally here! Would he throw harsh words at her or reprimand her for making sure he didn't shoot himself? Her mind frantically raced. Releasing deep breaths she patted her hair and smoothed her black dress.

"Come in."

The door opened and Rhett cautiously walked in, shutting the door behind him. She felt like a caged rabbit as his eyes met hers. They were no longer as puffy and blood shot but hooded from exhaustion. His face had the shadow of a beard from not shaving for a few days. His face was pale and gaunt, his tan gone. She had never seen him so disheveled and defeated looking.

"May I sit down?" he asked and she silently nodded.

He sat slowly like an old man, his big body not graceful and his steps uneven. A weary sigh came from his lips ad he rested his face against his hand. He still wore the same clothing from yesterday with a few top buttons undone and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

"The children are leaving to Tara this evening," he finally said.

Scarlett was surprised. Her eyes met his but he averted his gaze. Rhett had finally heeded to her wishes about the children. She was relived that the children would be gone and she knew Tara would do them good. She suddenly missed home very much.

"Thank you, Rhett," she said, a flicker of tired gratitude in her eyes.

She felt his eyes on her and she knew he was observing her keenly. Suddenly she felt very self conscious and squirmed.

"You haven't been eating or sleeping well," he observed.

She relaxed her tense body in relief. So he wasn't going to bring up yesterday in the yard. She was glad. "No. It's been too hard to sleep. All I can do is think..."

"Having more nightmares?" he inquired lightly. His eyes were on her again and Scarlett swallowed. She was surprised he remembered her nightmares. But of course he would for he had been the one that would awaken her and chase away her dreams.

"Yes," she reluctantly admitted.

"Bonnie had a nightmare last..." began Rhett but abruptly stopped. His fists clenched and jaws. He looked away from her with a ragged sigh and saw him fighting for composure. He masked the pain.

Suddenly Scarlett wanted to bawl and launch herself into his arms but she merely clenched her fingers into the palm of her hand and bit her lip. She couldn't meet his eyes either, they were on shaky ground and she didn't want to say anything that would upset him.

"Scarlett, I didn't want to just talk to you about the children," he admitted.

Her head raised.

"Oh?" She suddenly felt suffocated and dreaded whatever he might say. Could it be about yesterday or worst that he was leaving her? She forced an easy breath out and said, "Well what did you want to say to me?"

"I want to go to Charleston."

"But you hate Charleston!"

Rhett's brows rose at her outburst. "Oh, I once did but now I need some peace. I'd stay at Dunmore Landing and of course I'd come home eventually."

"Of course," she murmured numbly. She felt hurt that Rhett hadn't asked her to come a long. And he was leaving her when she needed him so!

"B-but you can't go!" she cried, the words escaping her mouth before she could stop them. Her eyes became downcast.

"Oh, and why is that?"

She raised her eyes and detected a faint glint of amusement in his eyes. It was the first time in days she had seen a look of amusement in his eyes besides that defeated look. What would she say without looking like a fool? She couldn't bear his mocking laughter now.

"Well... the children need you and there would be awful gossip that you... well that you left me."

"Even now all you can think about is gossip?" he asked a little roughly but lowered his voice.

"Scarlett, we need time a part, a time to think and mend our wounds if you will. We have been so cruel to each other and Atlanta is suffocating me. Every where I look there is memories...that I'd rather forget."

Forget? Hadn't she wanted to forget too? But Rhett didn't want to take her with him it seemed. She sighed, it was just as well. He never wanted her with him anyways. "When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow after the funeral."

She frantically thought for a way to make him stay. She knew he wouldn't listen to her but she could try at least. She couldn't bear Rhett and the children gone also. She would go crazy.

"Rhett, will you do me a favor?" she asked.

He seemed weary and a little suspicious. "What is it?"

"Will you please stay with me until the children come home. I couldn't be alone..."

She saw him waver. Then, "Yes, Scarlett I'll stay here for a week."

"Thank you."

He rose to his feet and Scarlett felt a pang of disappointment. She didn't want him to leave. She thought of asking him to stay but shoved the desire away. After all he'd either make fun of her or refuse her. He made it clear he didn't want her. She meant no more to him then a common whore.

"Do you want to accompany me when I take the children to the depot?" he asked. "You wouldn't want Atlanta gossiping about a rift in our marriage."

"Of course not. I'll go to the depot with you and the children," she tiredly said. She didn't care about gossip anymore. But for the children she supposed, she'd go.

He gave a curt nod. "Until then."

She silently watched him as he took his leave. After the door was shut she leaned back against her headboard feeling all strength drain from her. She didn't want to face Atlanta. their pitying glances and condolences meant nothing to her. They didn't give a damn or understand how she felt.

Atlanta was shocked to see Scarlett, Rhett and the children. Mrs. Merriweather saw them from her parlor window entering their carriage and soon word got out that the Butler's were making an appearance after the tragedy. The old guards eyes were pinned on Rhett Butler. How skinny and tired he looked! And they blamed Scarlett, for she was heartless and couldn't be a comfort to him but a misery.

Scarlett was dressed in her customary black dress with a black hat. Oh, how she had hated black once but now she understood why black was worn. It was to mourn for the loss and matched how her heart and whole being felt-black. Without color or gaiety. She briefly remembered how Rhett used to beg her to get rid of her mourning and how he bought her the green bonnet urging her to wear it and forsake her mourning. Now he didn't say a word about her dress. He didn't seem to notice her at all.

He was stiff next to her and deep in thought. He held his head high and was dressed once again to perfection. His face was clean shaven again and by looking at him, one wouldn't know anything was wrong. But she did know for she could read it in his clenched jaw, his still gaunt face and the hardening of his muscles beneath her fingers as she held onto his arm.

The children were ready to board their train and everyone's eyes seemed to be on them. Rhett and Scarlett gave them hugs then they were off with small but brave waves as the train pulled out of Atlanta. Thank heavens they were leaving, Scarlett thought, away from this hell and disaster. It was for the better all though she all ready missed their presence for now she was alone with Rhett. And she was disturbed.

After the train had disappeared from sight Rhett sighed. "You ready to go home, my pet?"

Sparing a glance at him she saw his hooded eyes and grim smile. The weather was cold and freezing and outside suffocating. Rhett was right, Atlanta had too many memories. When she had returned from Tara after loosing the baby Rhett, Wade, Ella and Bonnie had come here to pick her up at the depot. She remembered Bonnie in her torn dress with feathers in her hair, her ringlets badly tangled and Rhett wearing turkey feathers. They had been playing Indians.

Tears filled her eyes. Bonnie would never walk to the depot again or any where for that matter. She saw Rhett's face briefly soften as her eyes met his and she nodded. she didn't dare speak for she would loose any control she had. But she felt suffocated and whispered, "Yes, Rhett please take me home."

She didn't need to tell him another word for he ushered her to their carriage and handed her in. He got in after her and then there was silence. He merely stared out the window deep in thought and she watched him. Wanting something from him she couldn't name or understand. Why wouldn't he talk to her? She had scoffed at his serious talk but now... now she gladly welcomed it compared to his maddening courtesy and silence.

Closing her eyes she drifted off to sleep during the short ride home. She didn't feel Rhett's arms pick her up nor feel him tuck her in on her bed. She was dead to the world as Rhett watched her for a moment and took his leave to the dining-room for a drink.

TBC