Part 5

Note: Thanks once again for all the support and reviews. This chapter is longer thean the last one and I hope you all enjoy it. I'll post one more chapter before leaving town on Wednesday. Once again reviews are appreciated! Enjoy.

It was 8:30 when Rhett entered Scarlett's room with a breakfast tray. He was all ready dressed and cleaned up. He found her sound asleep with her face burrowed in the pillow. By the look of it with the brandy decanter on her night stand she had a drink too many.

Setting the tray down Rhett sat on the side of her bed and watched her for a moment. It wasn't often he was able to observe her unnoticed. She'd feel his eyes on her and look up at him with hat hard glint in her eyes or in annoyance. She looked so innocent in her sleep and peaceful without her jaw clenched and eyes narrowed.

She looked so much like Bonnie that his heart ached. Today was the day he dreaded in which Bonnie would be buried. He hadn't been able to sleep in his bed with her small bed next to his. He had thought of removing it but it caused him even more pain. He couldn't take everything away that was hers because she'd be even more dead to him.

So he had decided to have his nightcap in the dining-room and sleep on the settee. And Scarlett had been there almost like a dream. He wasn't sure why she had kissed him. He had seen the confusion in her green eyes almost as if she hadn't wanted him to end the kiss. He had even seen the hurt look in her eyes but he couldn't be pulled into her trap again. The only explanation was that she was vulnerable and lonely.

But she had seemed terrified that he was really dead. Her face had been pale and tears streaming down her face. He had wanted to stay away and not hold her, for that was when she was the most tempting and dangerous. But her face had been without any ulterior motive. She had let her guard down for the first time in months and so had he, for a moment...

Looking at her again, he saw her burrow her face deeper in her pillow with a sigh and turn, her back facing him. her hair was fanned across her pillow and fell into her face, she pushed it away and mumbled something. A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. He knew that she would hate him waking her.

"Scarlett," he called out. She didn't move.

Leaning over he grabbed her shoulders and gently shook her. "Scarlett, wake up."

Her brows furrowed and she tried to pull away from him. "No, Rhett go away..." she mumbled and tried to pull a blanket over her face.

Standing up he pulled back the drapes from her window and brilliant sunlight streamed in. Walking back to her side he yanked the blanket off of her and grabbed her feet with his cold hands. That woke her up. She sat up with an evil glare, her eyes flashing. "Great balls of fire did you have to wake me up like that?"

"You wouldn't wake up," he simply explained, sitting on the edge of the bed.

She groaned and placed her hand at her temple. "Oh, I'm never drinking that much again."

Rhett grabbed her tray and set it on her lap. "You'll feel better," he assured her. Sitting back down at the edge of the bed he watched her in amusement. She waved her hand but looking at the food seemed to change her mind for she dug into it and placed a forkful of eggs in her mouth. She ate as if she were half starved and Rhett realized this was probably the first day she had eaten since the accident.

"Slow down," he told her, "You don't want it to come back up again, Scarlett."

"But it's so good," she mumbled with her mouth full. She finished the rest of her meal in silence and looking at the clock it read 9:00. Standing up, Rhett walked into Scarlett's closet and easily found her a black dress. Throwing it on her bed he sat down again and lit a cigar, enhaling deeply.

"You need to get dressed we're leaving by 9:30."

She frowned. "For what? Oh..." she trailed off with a deep sigh and looked away. Rising to her feet unsteadily her face flamed. "You need to get Mammy."

"Oh I'll do it," he replied with a wave of his hand.

Scarlett's face flamed and Rhett put out his cigar. "But," she began in protest.

"I've seen you naked Scarlett," he said. "Indeed I have been the one to undress you and-"

"Oh stop it!" she cried. "Very well but do hurry up!"

"I've never heard anyone tell me that before," he said and was rewarded with a glare. He didn't know why he wanted to bait her of all days. But he enjoyed that fire in her eyes. Rising to his feet he found her corset discarded on the floor as she began undoing her the buttons on her nightgown. He saw her wince.

"What's wrong, Scarlett?"

"It's nothing," she lied unconvincingly.

But Rhett knew it was something for she bit her lip in pain. He easily went in front of her and grabbed her shoulders lightly to inspect her. She breathed deeply with a gasp of pain. That's when he saw the harsh bruises on her shoulders. He winced.

"I did that didn't I?"

It was all hazy but he remembered being rough with her. He could read the answer in her eyes. But she averted her gaze."Y-yes but I am all right."

She didn't want to speak about the subject anymore and they didn't have the time to discuss it but they would later. Rhett was tired of always sidestepping the issues and the things needed to be said.

She slipped her robe completely off of her and Rhett stood transfixed. She was as beautiful as he remembered her to be. That night he had carried her up the stairs all that months ago he had explored her body but he hadn't been able to see her in complete light. Now she stood in front of him, her skin smooth and head bowed.

"Well you are going to dress me?" she muttered.

He dragged his gaze off of her as he handed her corset and she slipped it on. He easily tightened it and when she murmured, "That's good," did he step away. Grabbing her gown he slipped it on over her head as she lifted her arms gingerly and buttoned it to the very top botton.

Sitting on her vanity she unpinned her hair and began to brush it in quick strokes. Rhett watched her, remembering a time when he had brushed her hair during the early days of their marriage. Well, he thought, that was a different time. He pushed his thoughts away as there was a knock on the door.

"Miss Scarlett, de carriage is ready," called Pork through the door.

Scarlett rose to her feet and Rhett offered her his arm. "You ready my dear to face the old cats?" he grimly asked.

Her eyes met his and he looked away. Looking forward they left her room. He didn't know how he was going to get through today, he couldn't bear his Bonnie being lowered in the grave, never to be seen again... His body tensed.

The Butler carriage drove up to Atlanta's Oakland Cemetery only a short time later. There was all ready a crowd of mourners and people of Atlanta. The old guard was standing around, many of the just to make appearances.

The fools, all of them, thought Scarlett bitterly as she alighted the carriage with Rhett's help. They were staring at her pityingly. They don't understand, she thought, how it feels. I've lost so many people and they don't understand! She wished she could wipe those looks off of their faces. Her arm was in Rhett's and she could feel his tense muscles.

Then she saw Melanie. Oh, how good it was to see her! Her face was so full of tenderness and love as she went to Scarlett. Scarlett pulled her arm from Rhett's and threw her arms around Melanie and whispered, "I can't stand it!"

"Of course you can!" Melanie whispered back.

Looking up at Melanie's face it hit Scarlett. Why, I love her. I used to hate her and couldn't stand the sight of her, but I do love her! She thought of all the things Melanie had ever done for her and had only seen the good in her. Her cheeks heated and she felt ashamed. She stared at Melanie in amazement.

"I love you, Melly," she whispered, the words sounding foreign to her lips.

"I know darling and I love you too."

She felt as if her mother was holding her and not Melanie. And looking over Melanie's small shoulder she saw Ashley with Beau in his arms. Not the usual excitement filled her only the relief of seeing a familiar face that had known Bonnie. He wasn't there out of pity but because he understood and knew.

"Ashley."

He smiled. "Scarlett dear, I'm so sorry," And he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Pulling away, Scarlett wondered why she didn't feel excitement at his kiss. She stared into his eyes but he was looking at Melanie. And Melanie was talking with Rhett. Where his face had been hard was now filled with a kindly expression. Why couldn't he look at her like that instead of with amusement and annoyance? She suddenly felt ashamed that she was thinking about this during her daughter's funeral.

Everyone took their places as the preacher began to speak a familiar scripture that she had heard at Pa's funeral. It had been there hadn't it? Or had it been another funeral? Rhett was tense beside her as the preacher's voice rang on. She cast a side long glance with him and his face was hard and jaw clenched.

Melanie, Ashley and Beau were beside them. Melanie had tears in her eyes but Scarlett felt like she couldn't cry again. She wanted to desperately but the tears wouldn't come. Rhett's face was as cold as stone and unyielding, even when she saw his eyes go to the casket where their daughter lay. How tiny the casket was admist flowers. Bonnie would have loved those flowers...

Her mind was numb as she scanned the crowd and saw Mrs. Merriweather, Mr. Meade, Mrs. Meade and the Elsings. India and Pittypat were there. Pittypat looked like she was about to faint and she was sobbing so that Melanie went to her side. They put smelling salts in her face and Scarlett looked away.

She knew Mammy and the other darkies stood in the back. She wanted to run to Mammy and throw herself at her. To lay her head on her bosom and have her comfort her as she had years ago. She tightened her hold on Rhett's arm as the preacher asked if there was a friend or family member who wanted to speak.

After a moment of strained silence Melanie said, "I will!" Her small form made it up to the front. She looked so very tired and her face strained. But she smiled and clasped her hands, looking over to the casket.

"Bonnie was a little angel," Melanie said her voice clear. there were tears in her eyes as she continued, "I don't have a daughter of my own and Bonnie filled that with her beautiful laughter and sweet eyes. I remember her saying one day, "Auntie I'm gonna be as beautiful as my mommy one day, you just wait and see!" She was so determined! And I laughed and told her that she was. Indeed she was the most beautiful little angel."

Melanie's voice continued with a few more memories but broke as she made her way through the parted crowd to Ashley's side. For a moment Scarlett couldn't breathe as everyone's eyes came to rest on her. They expect me to speak, she dully thought, oh I don't want to! How could she for she had very little memories of Bonnie and her? She looked at Rhett beside her. His face was tense and it didn't look like he would speak.

They would forgive him for not speaking but her they wouldn't. Raising her chin she released his arm and quickly made her way up to the front.. Her eyes met Rhett's and somehow she gathered the courage to speak as she frantically searched her mind.

"From the time Bonnie was born she was a brave little girl. She loved riding because that's when she was truly happy. Her dress would be ruined or torn up but she didn't mind..." Scarlett swallowed as her eyes met Rhett's and she saw the anger lurking in their depths. "She was so much like her grandfather, Gerald O'Hara with his fearlessness. She was so brave as she would take jumps that would scare most children her age. I was always so proud of her," she finished quickly and not bearing to look any one in the eyes she quickly made her way besides Rhett.

A few more people spoke: Mrs. Merriweather, even little Beau and Dr. Meade. each story was antagonizing. For each story hit her that she hadn't those memories. They spoke of Rhett's devotion to Bonnie and seeing her at his side constantly. Through each story she forced herself to listen. She spared a glance at Rhett once and his face was the same as it had been. No emotion or sadness, only the look of a man that resisted going through something that took his soul and hurt him. There was no longer any anger in the dark depths.

Then it was time to lower her casket that Rhett stiffly left her side and walked forward. She watched the tenseness of his big body and the way he moved, slowly as if he dreaded each step. He briefly touched the casket with his fingers and she saw him linger there. He hung his head, but his back was facing everyone so they couldn't see his face. Rhett raised his body to his full height as he nodded, said something to the preacher and the casket was lowered.

Stooping low, he picked up a handful of soil and rose to his feet. Scarlett suddenly remembered something long ago... said by someone. Once you hear the sound of dirt hitting a coffin, then they are really gone to you. She shut her eyes, and turned away. She didn't want Bonnie gone from her.

People walked past her and then she felt Melanie holding her. Finally she heard Rhett's voice nest to her, "Are you ready?"

It was the first time he had spoken to her during the whole funeral. She nodded, she couldn't bear to look back at the gaping hole with Bonnie lying in there. Melanie released her.

"Darling, I'll come and see you soon," Melanie promised.

"Thank you, Melly," she automatically answered. Then her and Rhett were making their way towards the carriage. Rhett's stance was uninviting as they walked. he didn't offer her his arm but was deep in thought.

Opening the carriage door, Rhett handed her in and she made room for him but he hung back.

"Aren't you coming home?" she asked, hoping her voice didn't sound desperate.

"No," he gruffly answered, looking away. "I'm going out for a drink."

"Oh, but..."

"Yes?" he questioned almost impatiently.

"Nothing... when will you be home?"

He shrugged, his voice oddly emotionless. "Later. Good bye Scarlett."

Before she could reply he shut the door, leaving her utterly alone. She heard him tap on the door and then the carriage rocked forward and began to move. through her window she saw Rhett all ready walking away. His broad shoulders disappearing through the crowd.

TBC