Note: Sorry to dash all your hopes about Scarlett and Rhett. Don't worry things might get better (hint) haha. But thank you for all the reviews and I want to apologize in advance for how this chapter goes. I don't think many of you will be too happy but there's always tomorrow... And I promise the next chapter gets better so bear with me. Reviews are welcomed as always and I hope you enjoy!

Part 8

It was a flustered and tired Scarlett that Dr. Meade called upon that afternoon. Wearing her mourning gown and her hair pinned back in a simple coiffure she came down to the parlor to see Dr. Meade. She hoped he wasn't here to pay his sympathy for she would scream.

"Have a seat Dr. Meade," Scarlett said, too tired to offer her courteous greetings or smile. He sat down heavily as if he had an awful day. His face looked pained briefly and Scarlett felt bitter. He knows nothing of pain, she thought.

"Well what did you want to see me about?" she demanded, never one to beat around the bush. She just wanted him to say what he had to and leave.

"Where is Captain Butler?" he asked instead, looking around the parlor as if Rhett would magically appear.

"He's not here," she crisply said.

She didn't know if Rhett were here. He could be in his room, for all she knew which she doubted, or at that Belle's. She felt a bitter taste in her mouth and gave a pointed look at Dr. Meade.

"You're not looking well, Scarlett," he observed with his keen doctor's eye. He gave her a pitying look and Scarlett cringed. She could take anything but pity!

"Yes. But I don't believe that's what you came to see me about."

"No, Scarlett. I came to tell you that Captain Butler looks horrible. He looks like a dead man and that little girl's death has taken something from him that could very well kill him. I suggest you give him a child as quickly as possible."

Scarlett wanted to laugh. How gladly she would have had a dozen children now if it would feel the void left by her death. Rhett wasn't the same and either was she. Her mind wandered to last night and she paled. She could very well be pregnant. But, no not again. For they had only been intimate once... and oh! She blushed and averted her eyes from Dr. Meade.

"I'm sorry to shock you, Scarlett but you do know what I mean," he said briskly.

She nodded. "Yes, Dr. Meade and thank you for your concern."

He looked relieved as she showed him out. He told her to get plenty of rest and eat but she wasn't listening. She wondered if she were pregnant for she had become pregnant only after one night with Rhett, the night of Ashley's party.

Then she began to think, her mind to formulate ideas. If she invited Rhett back to her room permanently it would both do them good. For Rhett wouldn't have to sleep downstairs and he would be pleased. Then she wouldn't have to be alone. It would be nice to have someone to hold and chase away her dreams. And of course they could have another child, not one like Bonnie but a child that would love her and fill the void that Bonnie had left. Rhett would be all too happy for he had loved Bonnie. Why, she thought with a smile and glint in her eyes, it would solve all their problems.

She didn't think Rhett would refuse. And if he did, well she wouldn't think about that now. Surely he would be happy and then he wouldn't leave. Ashley came to her mind and she sighed. Well just because she shared a room with Rhett didn't mean she didn't love Ashley any less. But if this would save her sanity and Rhett's so be it. Any ways, she thought stubbornly, why shouldn't I be able to enjoy my nights with Rhett?

Mammy appeared as always with a suspicious look, her hands at her wide hips. "Whut did de doctor say Miss Scarlett?"

Scarlett shrugged absentmindedly. "I don't care to talk about it, just his prattling on about me taking care of myself. Where is Mistha Rhett? Did he leave?" She had a feeling he was at Belle's and felt bitterness take hold of her. She shouldn't care where he went but she did. Mammy was watching her with a keen look.

"Why do ye want Mistah Rhett?"

"That's my business isn't it?" Scarlett coolly asked with raised brows. She was in no mood for Mammy's suspicions.

"It is but it ain't when you be hurtin' Mistah Rhett honey. He hurtin' somethin' fierce. Ye need to be kind to him."

"He's not the only one hurting! Great balls of fire, I lost Bonnie too didn't I? He should be kind to me instead-instead of running off to that Belle's!"

"Ye stubborn! Mistha Rhett ain't at dat red head woman's place." Mammy shook her head. "Ye both need to quit hurtin' each other, the way ye two go on is jus' plain awful."

All Scarlett heard was that he wasn't at Belle's. She pinned Mammy with a cool look and asked, "Well where is he?"

"He's outside in de back," the old woman reluctantly said.

The back? Why it was freezing outside, it had stopped raining but surely he wasn't fool enough to sit outside and catch his death. Scarlett walked past Mammy deep in thought and went to the twin doors. Pulling back the drapes slightly, she saw Rhett sitting on a chair out on the verandah, his back facing her and staring at something unseen.

Opening the door, she slipped out quietly and shut it behind her with a soft click. She approached Rhett uncertainly. He didn't turn his head in her direction as he quietly said, "Sit down."

His voice wasn't mocking but low and without emotion. She sat down on the chair next to him. "What are you doing out here in the cold, Rhett?" She was unnerved by his serious expression as he looked at the yard, staring at something she couldn't see.

"The jump," he said gravely. "I'm replaying the events in my mind and wondering why it wasn't burned."

She swallowed for Rhett looked as if he were torturing himself to remember that awful day. She could still hear the sounds in her mind. Oh, she didn't want to talk about it. She wanted to talk with him about moving his things back to her room!

"Oh, Rhett," she sighed tiredly. "I don't want to talk about that day what I want to talk about is-"

"Bonnie was so brave that day," he continued, ignoring her as if she hadn't spoken. "And when she left she took everything. A part of me that can't ever be brought back. I've never understood true love. What they call agape love until she was born."

Scarlett had no idea what he meant. Agape? Oh, well she wouldn't question him. His eyes had a far away look, why almost like Ashley's! She shook that thought away and leaned towards Rhett, ready to tell him she wanted to share rooms once again.

"Oh, Rhett, let's not talk about Bonnie-"

His face hardened and he swiftly pinned her a heated look. "Not talk about Bonnie? Are you that heartless Scarlett that you want to erase her memory? Well, I don't dammit! She was the best part of my life and I won't quit talking about her."

"Fine. What I wanted to speak with you about is..." she trailed off and her eyes became downcast. She hoped he wouldn't laugh at her, she'd just die if he did. "Well, that is, I want you to move back into my room."

He was quiet as she suspected. But there was no look of mocking or even pleasure in his face. His eyes searched hers. "And why should I accept your offer when you refused mine this morning?"

"You mean," Scarlett incredulously asked, "You're refusing me when I-oh!"

"I'm not trying to be cruel, Scarlett, I'm simply saying this morning I had a desire to try to save our marriage. But you weren't willing to meet me halfway. I've thought a lot and there is nothing left for us. When we had Bonnie there was something. Can you honestly tell me we have something left?"

"Well I..." she clamped her mouth shut. This wasn't turning out as she suspected. "Never mind about that it's better for everyone's sakes if you.. well we..."

He shook his head. "You're such a child, Scarlett. No, I'm not mocking you again, I'm just saying that I'm tired of living in this so called marriage."

Scarlett felt fear clutch her. "You... you want a divorce?"

"I wouldn't break Ella and Wade's heart. It would be a messy business and I have no desire to go through that now. I'm just saying Scarlett I won't share your bed when you have another man there."

Outraged words flew to her lips and he merely threw up his hands in frustration.

"I don't know why I even try," he muttered. "We have been married five years and still we can't have a civil conversation without you trying to attack me. Come now sheath your claws and let's speak like adults."

"You can go to Halifax!" she simply yelled and jumped to her feet, her bosom rising and falling rapidly in outrage. "How dare you turn it all around on me. You're the one that's mocking and don't have any decency. How dare you presume to say that I had Ashley in our bed!"

Rhett sighed. "I'm weary of your excuses and petty defenses. I know he's never been there physically but don't you think I know that when I held you in my arms you imagined it was the honorable Ashley Wilkes? Surely you don't expect me to share a bed with him? It's almost as if he were a ghost that graced our marriage bed. But no longer Scarlett... the marriage bed, especially with you doesn't hold any charm for me."

His voice was slightly mocking but his eyes serious. What an egimatic man he was. A varmint and annoying. She had offered herself to him and he had refused! Her fists clenched.

"Oh! You'll regret this. There are plenty of men that would... w-well they would gladly have..." She stammered at a loss. She glared at him angrily as he sat there with his mocking grin.

"Indeed, I'm sure they would, my dear," he drawled. "But as for me I won't share your bed with Ashley in that fool head of yours. Mark my words, Mrs. Butler that I won't enter your bed again until I hear you confess your undying love for me."

"When hell freezes over!" She cried. Their gazes locked, both equally determined but Rhett looked away with something muffled under his breath. He rose to his feet.

"No, not that long, Scarlett. But I do believe our conversation is over." He bowed and headed for the door.

"W-where are you going?" she demanded.

"Inside for lunch," he said, his voice suddenly became soft. "Would you care to join me?"

"No!" she hissed and stomped angrily past him, opening the door and heading straight for her room. If she would have looked back she would have seen the disappointment in Rhett's eyes and the look of resignation but mostly defeat. One that knew that they were a lost cause.

TBC