Part 10

Note: Thank you all for the reviews! I treasure them. I hope you all enjoy chapter 10.

"Ashley, how good to see you!" Scarlett cried happily as she came into his office. This had once been her office and she still missed the familiarity of it. She looked around and called herself a fool for letting Ashley buy her out of business. But she was so glad to see him!

His gray eyes registered surprise but he smiled and grabbed her hands. "How lovely you look my dear."

She smiled even though she knew she looked horrible. She was still in mourning and she knew she still looked as pale as a ghost. And she couldn't sleep most nights, she was sure there were bags under her eyes from nightmares... But at least someone thought her still beautiful. Certainly Rhett didn't.

"Oh how you do run on Ashley Wilkes," she chided. "I know I look awful."

"Even when you turn old and gray you'll still be the most beautiful woman my eyes have ever seen," he simply said.

She glowed with pleasure. Ashley thought her to be the most beautiful woman. Unlike Rhett who had once said he had seen more beautiful women then her. Suddenly, she felt hope once again in this world. Ashley still had to love her. And he was watching her quietly and intently.

"It's good to see you smile, Scarlett. I'm so sorry for what happened about Bonnie. No parent should have to go through with that. I can't imagine what Melly and I would do if anything happened to Beau..."

Bonnie, Bonnie, Scarlett thought but pushed the thought of her daughter from her head. They were quiet as she observed him with lowered lashes. She didn't feel the usual excitement in his presence that she felt but surely it was only because of grief and it would soon pass then everything would be the same again.

"I went to her grave yesterday with Melly," she slowly said, letting her bitterness show. "Oh and Ashley I can't stand it. Everything is as worst as it could be. Rhett is so quiet and I hate everyone's pity. I miss Bonnie and I never realized until now how much I loved her! Rhett said I didn't once but I did!"

His arm came swiftly around her. "Of course you do, darling."

He was speaking so tenderly to her and holding her as he had that day India and Archie had walked in on them. And once again there was no excitement at his touch. She looked at him and their eyes met. If he kissed her surely she would feel something.

"Ashley, I need you," she whispered. "Rhett doesn't love me, Bonnie is dead and... he doesn't care. Rhett has never cared about me. But I know that you love me. Kiss me just once."

She saw him waver, his arm tightened around her and a deep breath escaped his lips. "No Scarlett. I can't." But it was a loosing battle for he cursed in defeat and he kissed her gently, not at all like Rhett did.

She didn't feel excited and she didn't respond. Even when his hold tightened on her all she could do was think about Rhett. She pushed him from her mind and lightly kissed Ashley back but her heart wasn't in it. She was the one to swiftly break the kiss and her eyes darted the room in confusion.

"What's wrong with me? When you kissed me... I-" Scarlett trailed off her eyes widening. "Ashley you love Melly don't you?"

He nodded with defeat. "Yes, I do love her."

Scarlett nodded, feeling like her heart was slowly and painfully breaking. She realized she had been chasing after a dream, something that wasn't real. Ashley desired her yes but he didn't love her, not as he loved Melanie. Rhett had been right all along and she withdrew like a wounded animal, tears coursing down her cheeks.

Ashley reached for her but she stepped back, dashing her tears and forcing a smile. "I'm all right Ashley. I know you love Melly and not me. It's how things were meant to be. I'm glad to know the truth now. You needn't look so guilty. Life had dealt a harsher blow then this to me and I haven't been licked yet." Her face was set and her chin clenching like Gerald O'Hara's that Ashley recognized so well with admiration and despair.

"Be happy, Scarlett," he whispered. "You deserve it."

"No," she said, her eyes fierce. "I don't deserve happiness. I deserve misery and hell for all the things I have done. What an utterly stupid fool I have been! I- I suppose I never really loved you... Good-bye, Ashley."

She saw the defeated hunch of his shoulders as she turned and left. Truly this part of her life was over and had been slowly slipping away without her knowing it. Ashley was lost to her, and though she felt a twinge of pain that she had loved him and had lost that familiar feeling that had carried her through the years, somehow she didn't care.

She was too numb. She entered her carriage and felt pairs of eyes watching her. She had to go to Melanie's first however for she had promised to visit. She silently prayed that Rhett wouldn't be home when she returned. For how could she explain how wrong she had been?

Meanwhile Rhett was upstairs in the Girl of The Period saloon with Belle. He needed some sort of diversion from thoughts of Scarlett, Bonnie and the painful memories in that God forsaken monastery that he had never been able to call home. He hated that place and would have burned it down long before if he had the chance.

"Why are you here, Rhett?" Belle gently asked.

He stared at Belle in admiration as she sat lounging on a settee across from him. She was frank like Scarlett but she had a heart. That was the difference between Belle and Scarlett, Belle genuinely cared for him and would listen. Over the years he had come to her to talk and drink. He was free to be himself around her without fear of getting laughed at.

"Scarlett," he said. That was all that needed to be said. For Belle understood their stormy relationship and she nodded. She had been a spectator over the years and an ear to listen to Rhett's rants.

"I gathered as much. So how is she taking the accident?"

He was grateful she said accident instead of Bonnie's name. Belle was a whore but she understood him. And how he had loved Bonnie so much. She was much more of a lady then Scarlett had ever been.

He shrugged. "Scarlett has always taken things well. She didn't crack like I did. God Belle, I went crazy for a while. I miss her so much."

His eyes filled with tears that he hadn't shed for days. He hadn't cried since that day when he had been drunk. Now the memory of Bonnie's laughing blue eyes came to his mind and he shuddered. Belle slowly stood up and approached him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulders.

"It ain't your fault, honey," she soothed, kneeling down in front of him.

"That's what I keep hearing," he muttered thickly as his arms went around Belle and he rested his cheek against her red hair with a sigh. He felt no desire for her whatsoever as she felt no desire for him. That feeling was long passed and he only felt the need for friendship and understanding. Belle offered him this and he took her offering of comfort. Closing his eyes they sat silently.

"How are you and Scarlett?" She looked up at him as he pulled away and sat back with a thankful smile that diminished into an ironic twist.

The words flowed slowly from his lips. The agonizing repeat of the events of Bonnie's death, his near suicide, the funeral and then that night of passion with Scarlett. He then told her how Scarlett wanted to share his bed but he had refused her. As he had finished telling her that Belle chuckled huskily.

"What a fool you are, Rhett Butler. You are mad at your wife for kicking you out of her bed but when she invites you back in you refuse her. Sometimes I don't understand your thinking."

"I wouldn't expect you to understand Belle. But I'm through with her and her false pretenses. I'm tired of living a lie when she's still in love with that wood headed Ashley Wilkes. And I don't know if I love her anymore or have the desire to go through that business again."

Belle laughed lightly. "That's grief talking. I know you love her still for she is a poison in your blood, Rhett. I've known all along and so what if she think she loves Mr. Wilkes? Maybe try telling her the truth and she'll change her mind."

"No, not Scarlett. She never changes her mind unless it has to do with money and something to be gained."

"Rhett you don't know much about women's minds. When a woman is treated kindly and has the love of a man something happens. I tell you," Belle insisted, "I understand Miz Butler a whole lot more now. You've told me of all the things you've done to her. Goading her and being cold. It's a wonder why she would even think of loving you."

"So now your taking her side?" he incredulously asked, a frown on his face.

She laughed. "Of course not honey, I always take yours. I just understand that you have never been very kind to her, and have been driven by insane jealousy. She probably thinks you don't respect her or want her. So why shouldn't she give her heart to a man that accepts her for who she is?"

Rhett's brow arched. "That doesn't change the fact Belle that she doesn't care about anyone but herself and Ashley. Oh, well let them be happy together with their honor. I came to tell you I'm going to Charleston."

"Running away again?" she asked lightly. She knew Rhett would have hit her if she were a man. But she knew his temper and that he wouldn't strike her.

"Dammit Belle! You should understand that this town is suffocating me. It holds no charm for me since Bonnie is gone. She's the only thing that kept me here."

"The only thing?" she challenged with an arch of her brow. "No, Rhett your wife kept you here. And you're a fool if you run off again without telling her everything. Don't she deserve the truth? You ran off all those months ago to me after you drunkenly assaulted her and look what came of it. I never knew you to be a coward." She threw her hands up in defeat when he didn't reply.

He saw she was loosing her patience and she merely shot him an annoyed look. Leaning over he gave her an affectionate pinch to her cheek. "You're a good woman Belle. I'll go talk with her."

Belle watched him retrieve his hat and disappear out the door. She sighed, always love with people. Maybe if she were a different person or in a different time... she thought with an ironic twist of her painted lips. Oh, well she would leave the love to Rhett and Scarlett, heaven help them. She rose to her feet, she'd have to get back to business for it was hopping.

But when Rhett returned home looking for Scarlett he was informed by Prissy she had went to the lumber mill hours ago and hadn't returned.

TBC