Part 13

Note: Thanks for the reviews! You all are awesome. While I would love to drag on this story and I have loved writing it, I decided that I would write a shorter story then Love In Tara. Therefore Living Another Day has one more chapter and then it's finished. Please read and review, they are always appreciated and keep me writing.

"The house looks better," was the first thing Rhett said when Scarlett entered the parlor fifteen minutes later. He was standing by the sideboard and pouring himself a drink. Turning back to her he held out a glass to her and she gratefully took it.

"I couldn't stand the darkness anymore," she said as she sat on the love seat and made room for Rhett to sit next to her. With one hand she arranged her skirts and smiled up at Rhett in invitation to sit beside her. He seemed to waver for a moment before he sat next to her and his nearness made her heart beat rapidly.

Great balls of fire, she chided herself, it's not as if I were in love with him. He's Rhett and I've known him for years. But how could she explain this foreign feeling of longing for him to be near and to be in his presence? She realized she looked forward to seeing him in the mornings now and throughout the day.

"I'm glad your taste had seemed to change," he commented, flashing his animal-white teeth. "This house was unliveable with it being so dark. I admit I wanted to rip those blasted drapes off myself."

Laughter bubbled to her lips. It was wonderful to laugh again and be with Rhett. She wondered why it couldn't have been like this before? But she knew the answer was because she had been pining after Ashley and not able to admire Rhett before. She did enjoy his company, she always had. Rhett joined in on her laughter with a low chuckle and a grin. After their laughter had subsided there was a brief silence.

"Rhett," Scarlett seriously said with an uncertain look on her face. "I wanted to speak with you about something but promise me you won't get mad and run off."

His brows rose as he leaned back and crossed his legs. His thigh brushed against hers and her breath caught as he murmured, "Very well. Pray continue, Mrs. Butler."

"Well I was hoping- that is asking for you to quit going to Belle's. It's not fair that I'm stuck here while you go traipsing off to that place and around town."

"What is upsetting you, Scarlett?" he slowly asked, his eyes searching hers. "That I'm having fun while you're not or the thought that I'm having relations with Belle?"

"Well aren't you?" she blurted out and turned her eyes from his. "Never mind, don't tell me, I don't want to know the details. I just don't see why you get to have all the fun and why you have to run off to that creature-"

"Do I detect jealousy?" he silkily asked.

She shot him a glare and let out a frustrated breath. "That's beside the point. Will you stop going there?"

"No, Scarlett. Why should I? I never told you that you couldn't go to the mills. I put a lot of money into that business."

"How much money?" she suspiciously asked.

His brow quirked. "A generous amount. Scarlett, I enjoy going there and having conversations and having a drink or two. What's really bothering you is the fact you think I'm intimate with Belle is that it?"

She didn't answer.

"It is," he answered for her. "Why should it bother you? Before you didn't care whose bed I was in as long as it wasn't yours."

"Well it's different now," she snapped. "I told you that I don't love Ashley any more and that I wanted to- well that I wanted us to be- you know what I mean."

"Yes, I do. But how do I know you won't change your mind once I come back to your bed? Once you decide you don't want anymore children or don't want me. Why do you want me back in your bed, my pet? Answer me truthfully for you don't love me."

"Why should it matter, Rhett? Isn't it enough that I want you and that you needn't worry about Ashley anymore?"

"No it isn't enough," he slowly answered and rose to his feet, pacing. Scarlett watched him with wide eyes as emotion blazed in his eyes as he suddenly stopped and his eyes bore into hers. "Even after all this time, you don't understand anything unless it's spelled out do you? Dammit Scarlett, I don't want just your body and part of your thoughts, I want everything or nothing at all."

Her eyes widened as realization suddenly dawned on her. Rhett wanted all of her for he loved her! No, it couldn't be true for he said that he didn't love her repeatedly. Then the passionate words of that night floated back to her. He had said he loved her and had proved it the way he had made love to her. And that night he had said it, but had taken it back.

"Y-you love me." She could hardly breathe as she stared up at him confusedly. His eyes didn't deny it and he raked a hand through his hair.

"Heaven help me, yes," he dragged out. "I have loved you for years. I was driven by insane jealousy to posses you and for you to love me. I married you, wanting to protect and love you. I would have given you anything, Scarlett. No man could have loved you more then me but you didn't want me. I thought Bonnie would have changed things, but still you didn't want me. At least Bonnie wanted me and loved me. For you never loved me my dear. I hoped you would have called for me when you were sick and it was all my fault, but you didn't. Then Bonnie died." He swallowed. "I wasn't sure if I loved you anymore... God, I nearly went crazy. And knew that when she died, she took everything with her."

He had wanted her! And he loved her. She knew he wasn't mocking her. He had bared his soul to her and she saw the torment in his eyes. The pain he had always hidden with his mocking laughter as if he didn't give a damn. She didn't know how to feel at his admission but was shocked to her very soul. Rhett Butler loved her and for once in her life she didn't know how to handle the admission. She had been able to laugh it off in the past but now...

"Do you still love me, Rhett?" she softly asked, realizing she was hanging on the next word he said.

"Yes," he said as if the very sound was dragged from his throat. It was curt and stiff. He stared at her, his eyes blazing with anger and passion. "But if you think you can use this against me, you are sadly mistaken. You are so cruel to those that love you. You hold it over ones head like a whip. Well, my dear I won't be controlled by you even if I do love you. Enough is enough, love be damned Scarlett and I am still leaving."

He turned on his heel and left out of the parlor. Only when he was gone did Scarlett realize the slight tremor in her hands. Rhett loved her against his will and seemed to hate the idea. Was it so awful loving her? She then realized, sadly it was. All those that had ever loved her either died or went through torment. She wondered why Rhett loved her, for she didn't like herself very much and couldn't comprehend how he loved her after she had been so mean to him, loving another man and kicking him out of their room.

"Damn you, Rhett Butler," she whispered, "Why must you love me now?"

And when Mammy came to get her to announce lunch was ready, Scarlett told her she wasn't hungry and fled up to her room. She would be able to think there and be safe. She couldn't face Rhett again. She couldn't!

TBC