Disclaimer: I own no rights to any of the characters that Mercedes Lackey thought up. But as she's more or less being gracious enough to let her readers borrow them, I thought I'd take advantage of that. Anyone you haven't heard of before, I thought them up.

A/N: Hey, guess what everybody? I didn't drop off the face of the planet!!! I'm really sorry it's taken me so long to get this posted, but I've been working a lot and gone through many, many drafts of this chapter. I don't know why, but it was difficult to write. So, as usual, keep an eye out for any bugs (spelling errors the spellcheck missed, other stuff that doesn't make sense) you may find and enjoy!

Ch. 8: Day of Remembrance

"Jennifer!" The urgent cry came from the stairs a few minutes later, followed quickly by Tashir throwing open the door to my suite. Tashir looked harried, as if he expected to see me in some sort of distress. On the contrary, though. No one in the room had moved. I was still kneeling by the litter box I'd placed a corner, Kris still held a purring Punky, and Lyra was still flipping through the magazine and letting out little sounds of exclamation and exasperation. Every now and then she'd turn to me, read a sentence or paragraph out loud and ask if we seriously wondered about the minuscule details of celebrity lives, and looked back in horror as I confirmed it. "It sounds worse than Court," I swore I heard her whisper to herself at one point.

"Yeah?" I looked up and asked.

Tashir rushed over and hauled me to my feet. He then noticed the Prince and Princess and acknowledged them. "Kris. Lady Lyra, always a pleasure to see you. Have the two of you been with Jennifer long?"

Kris answered, sounding as confused as I certainly felt. "Yes, we've been with her for about two candlemarks. Is there something wrong?"

"Has she been acting strangely? Anything off-putting?" the Bard asked while looking me over intently, as if trying to find something wrong.

Kris shook his head. "No more than usual."

"Thanks," I said coolly to my friend. "Sweetie, what's wrong? What are you doing? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Now, I was used to having him damn near rip my clothes off from time to time, as I'd certainly done my fair share to him. Yet never had those times been in the presence of other people. Especially the crown Prince and his sister. But Tashir had just done the unexpected. In one swift motion, he had removed my overtunic (I didn't want to think about how often he'd preformed similar actions and on who), spun me around so my back was facing him, and preceded to try and remove my undershirt. He'd lifted it about half way before I was able to spin myself out of his reach.

I stood facing him, stark still, mouth gaping, and tried to think of a decent reason as to why Tashir would do such a thing. If he wanted to get busy all he had to do was ask the twins to leave for a few minutes. The look on his face, however, showed no amorous intent. Instead it was worry mixed with some hesitation; a look that I would sometimes see when I'd catch him looking at me. I knew Tashir was taking his chosen role of protector rather seriously, but I didn't understand how stripping me in front of my friends could accomplish anything.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Kris and Lyra. They looked confused and embarrassed at the situation. Not that I could blame them. Lyra had raised the magazine to just below her eyes, as if she had been hiding behind it moments before but now wanted to see what was going on. Kris was still sitting and holding Punky in his lap. His head was turned to peer out the window and turning a brilliant shade of red that most likely reached his toes. Kris squirmed uncomfortably.

"What the fuck?!" My voice was about three octaves too high.

Tashir stiffened his shoulders. "I wanted to see your tattoo."

"My tattoo."

"Yes."

"You have a tattoo?" Kris and Lyra asked in unison.

I thought for a couple seconds and tried to think of why he'd want to see it, but came up short. "Why?" I wasn't mad or anything, just thoroughly confused.

Tashir took a deep breath. "Because I wanted to make sure it was you. I heard about your conversation with Alastor just now. Since the Jennifer I know would have given him quite the verbal lashing, and from what I understand that did not occur, I needed to know it was you and not an impostor."

I let Tashir's words sink in, then closed my eyes and whimpered. It was the third time in roughly an hour I'd been accused of acting out of character. Hearing the accusation from Kris and Lyra was one thing because friends do that to each other. But to hear it from Tashir just rubbed salt in the wound. I have got to work on my reputation because right now it isn't doing me any good.

"Is it so hard for people to believe I can conduct myself in a calm and rational manner?" I said more to myself than anyone in the room. "I mean, seriously. Yes, I haven't made some rather important people very happy with me from time to time, but have I ever really, truly, pissed them off to the point where they take a matter to your guys' mum?" I asked the twins. "Have I ever done or said anything to deliberately cause trouble? No! What rubs people the wrong way about me is my personality and that I call things as I see them. Yes, I have a temper and a tendency to flout authority, and when coupled with my Gifts it doesn't exactly make for a good time. But is it really that surprising when I don't bitch somebody out?!"

The following silence was answer enough. Kris and Lyra exchanged glances and Tashir looked a little sheepish. I shook my head in disbelief. "Jesus Tap-dancing Christ, Batman. Okay, you wanna see? Here," and I lifted the back of my shirt to reveal the scars and artwork. Lyra gasped sharply and Kris gave an exclamation of surprise. A moment later a gentle caress of my skin told me Tashir was truly making sure it was the real thing. "Happy now?" I asked over my shoulder.

"Lyra, I believe we've outstayed our welcome," Kris said, finally breaking the silence. His sister readily agreed and they soon left, along with a couple more magazines in Lyra's possession. That left Tashir and I alone with Punky, who was still half out of it on the window seat cushion.

I sat down heavily next to my cat. I didn't know what to say and so stayed silent. Tashir walked over and sat next to me, draping an arm around my shoulders to pull me close and kissed the top of my head. "I'm sorry if I upset you, but I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"I'm not mad," I sighed, " I just... I always thought actions spoke louder than words. And I've just been slapped in the face with confirmation that's not the case with me. Twice. Am I really that bad?" I looked at him and asked solemnly.

Tashir chuckled quietly. "There is still room for improvement, but you're not as bad as you used to be. I know." I laughed in agreement. Of all the people who had been on the receiving end of my verbal tirades, Tashir had gotten the brunt of it. Not to say he didn't deserve it at the time and still did occasionally, but I was hardly biting his head off anymore.

"So have I passed inspection? Do you think I'm the real deal?" I asked, still feeling rather dejected.

Tashir studied me for some time before responding. "To all outward appearance you seem genuine, but a good impostor would know of any defining marks or characteristics. Even the concealed ones." He was quiet again for a bit while he thought. "I believe that leaves me with only one course of action to determine your identity."

I didn't see it coming, which of course was Tashir's intention. About as quick as I could blink, his lips captured mine as he preceded to kiss me with a hunger his mannerisms had neglected to portray. I made a startled noise in the back of my throat, but that was quickly replaced with a soft moan as I kissed him back with matching heat. I knew the game as it was one of his favorites. Catch me off guard and leave me panting like a bitch in heat, which is exactly what I turned into every time he kissed me. But (I hoped) what he was going for was someone else would back away or freeze up in surprise. Just as suddenly as it happened, Tashir pulled away and grinned from ear to ear, watching as I tried to regain my breath.

"There's no doubt. No one else kisses like that," he said fondly as he lightly stoked my cheek.

I grinned back. "Was there really any need to worry?"

"No," he said, "because I have complete trust in Shayna to know if someone was impersonating you. But I had to be sure." Tashir then looked to my left and saw Punky splayed out like road-kill. He looked at Punky, then me, and shifted his gaze to the cat again. "I have just noticed you've acquired a cat."

I nodded. "Punky. Shannon was finally able to send him."

"Ah, the other man."

I rolled my eyes and snorted. "Yes, I've been cheating on you with a now three month old kitten. You should feel so abused."

"Well, I shall have to question him as to the extent of your relationship later, as I have a class soon," he said, standing. Normally when a Bard made Court, they stopped teaching or whatever else they did as it took up time that would normally be spent entertaining Courtiers or other aristocrats. Not Tashir. He loved teaching and was considered to be one of the better teachers Bardic had. So he did less private entertaining in order to make time for a couple classes.

"I'll warn you now, you're only gonna get one word answers," I told him and gave him a light parting kiss.

"Then they will be open to interpretation," Tashir replied suavely as he bowed himself out the door.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time's a funny thing. It can feel like it's speeding up or slowing down or meander along at its own pace. It can be calming, nerve-racking, or fill you with anticipation or dread. Sometimes it's good, other times it can really suck donkey balls.

It had been the middle of July when I came back to Valdemar and the two months had seemingly flown by. From sun up to sun down I'd been kept busy with one thing or another so it came as a shock to realize it was now September. A normal month for most people, but I wasn't most people. Since my surprise arrival, September had been the worst for me, specifically the 22nd, because it signaled the day my life was irreparably altered.

It used to be that during the preceding weeks I'd be incredibly moody and on the 22nd I'd throw myself a pity party. Even after I was Chosen it was the one day I really allowed myself to wallow in misery and wonder why me. Even more so after I found out the real reason I was brought to Valdemar in the first place. The pain never went away or really dulled. I just had gotten really good at ignoring it.

But as the infamous day slowly crept up on me, I began to wonder how I should feel anymore. As I'd told my friends at the picnic before I'd gone home three years before, I was happy with my life as a Herald and really couldn't picture living any other way. But there was still the silent and stinging feeling of resentment. The world of Velgarth had ruined everything, yet given me everything in return. It was Velgarth's and Valdemar's fault I had so many problems, ranging from still being on the outs with my family and old friends, to the emotional and psychological trauma I'd encountered, and why I didn't feel like I fit in anywhere anymore.

But I couldn't ignore the good either. I'd been taken in and cared for without a sideways glance by those who truly mattered and was kept from going crazy (though still debatable). I had friends who's stood by me through thick and thin, a man who loved be despite all my personality hiccups, and a job and partner that gave me a purpose in life unrivaled by anything. Because of Valdemar's help and teachings, I'd become more than I ever dreamed. Yet at what cost? I still find it funny that price makes the world turn. Just not always a monetary one.

But I wasn't the only person worried about the month and passing of days. In fact, my personal conundrum paled in comparison to the worry and anticipation of Nia and Trine. Nia was due around the middle of the month, which was sending her husband into a frenzy. Trine was extremely excited about his first-born, but at the same time was scared shitless. He could often be found making his way to the House of Healing to make sure Nia was okay. He was starting to hover, which in turn pissed off Nia's hormones. As common as it was to see Trine heading to the Healers', it was just as common to see him fleeing from the building with Nia yelling, "I'm fine!! Leave me alone!!" I was privy to this one day and thought it was funny as hell. Both Nia and Trine failed to see the humor.

As the due date got closer I tired to focus more on the two of them instead of myself. Two of my closest friends were about to become parents, and I thought that was much more important. Not to mention exciting.

It was early evening when Nia went into labor. I'd spent most of the week in the city courts listening to the trials going on and explaining the reasoning behind the verdicts to Herald Zane, who'd accompanied me. The point of this was as a finer review of the laws. Zane was a rather frail looking old man who, while retired, still taught a majority of the law classes and made regular trips to the city courts to keep himself sharp. If you wanted an expert in law, he was your man.

I was mentally exhausted when Zane and I came back because of all the paces he'd put me through on the way back, making sure I understood all the ins and outs of the many cases we'd listened to that day. So when Shay finally relayed the message that Nia was going into labor, it took me a minute for the info to sink in before I rushed off to the Healers. It apparently wasn't usually customary for friends to be present at a birth from what I'd been told. It was customary, however, in the town that Nia and Trine were from. To them, friends were the same as family, and in a fishing village, sometimes friends had to take the place of family in the end.

I was the second person to arrive, Kris being the first as he'd helped get Trine down to the healers while Nia was carried in. We were sitting outside in the hallway, waiting, and watching to make sure Trine didn't fall off the bench he was laying down on. "She started bleeding almost as soon as the labor pains started," Kris told me, " and they couldn't take any chances. Trine started to panic, not that I can blame him. We got down here and he started demanding to see Nia but of course he couldn't. In the end one of the Healers gave him something to drink to calm him, but instead it knocked him out." Kris pointed to our friend, who was clearly unconscious and drooling ever so slightly.

"So what do they do in this case?" I asked worriedly.

"I have no idea," Kris answered.

"Well, if I sit around here I'm gonna go stir-crazy, so I'm gonna take a walk. Let me know if something changes, okay?" He agreed and I left, trying my best not to run. One of my closest friends could very possibly be dying and that scared the crap outta me. And would the baby even survive? Man, if something happened to them Trine would be crushed, I thought. The Healers don't really trust the American medic we've got over here now so they won't let him help, and that's if he could do anything. Why do there have to be complications? Why? Especially complications involving blood.

I'd exited the building and reached one of the small gardens that patients were encouraged to walk in when they had the strength. One I'd made the trek through too many times for my taste. It was close enough to the building that help could come if needed, but far enough away for patients to test themselves physically. It made a decent hiding spot.

I came to one of the small fountains, trickling musically with water, and sat down on the rim. I sat and watched the sun dip slowly behind the tree line, staining the sky with light blue and pink. I didn't want to hear any news, but each moment I sat there with Kris not calling for me was agonizing. Yet it was out of my hands. I'd never felt so helpless. I'm a Herald-Mage of awesome power, but in this case I'm absolutely worthless. My I'm supposed to help save people, not sit and wait for them to die.

An ear-splitting bird cry came from directly behind me. If I hadn't been so preoccupied with morbid thoughts, I would've probably heard someone sneaking up behind me. But since I didn't hear anyone, I screamed, jumped about three feet and landed in the fountain. Thankfully it was a shallow one, but I was now tired, worried, and had a wet and sore butt. I looked up and glared at the perpetrator.

"Jervan, you asshole!!!" I bellowed at the gryphon, while, as usual, ignoring the mental cry of "Giant Bird!". He'd finished acting as messenger to White Gryphon and the Haighlei and had arrived back in Haven a couple days before. Unfortunately his sister, Lytha, was still stuck out west.

The male gryphon laughed. "You did not sssee me? You prrresssented sssuch a tempting tarrrget that I could not rrresssisst. Arrre you hurrrt?" he trilled with amusement.

"Only my pride, you chicken on growth hormones," I grumbled as I heaved my ass out of the water. "Have you heard?"

"Yesss. How long ago wasss ssshe brrrought herrre?"

"About...an hour ago I think. I'm not really sure. I wish there was more I could do than just sit around and wait, ya know?"

Jervan sighed. "Yet that isss all we can do at thisss time. Trrrine will let usss know ssshould sssomething change."

I laughed weakly as I remembered Trine's current state. "He's unconscious, actually. He was so worked up when Nia was brought down, the Healer gave him something that knocked him clean out. But Kris is with him and he'll let us know."

"Why am I not sssurrrprrrisssed Trrrine isss unconsssciousss?" the gryphon mussed aloud. "Come, let usss ssspeak of otherrr thingsss. You neverrr finissshed telling me how you came back."

It wasn't long after that Kris called me back, saying one of the Healers that had been with Nia had news. Good news. Nia was going to be touch and go for a few days, but they were able to stop the bleeding and she should be just fine. The had to cut the baby out, or delivery by C-section as I preferred to look at it, but she would be fine as well. It was a little girl. Trine was conscious by then, but damn near passed out again with relief when he heard the news. He went in to the room Nia was in to meet his new daughter, and when he came back out with her in his arms, I'd never seen a happier man.

"I think I know what her name is going to be," Trine said softly as he allowed Tashir, who'd arrived just as the Healer gave us the news, to peer at her. "Essa. She doesn't look like an Anni or Nikole, but she looks like an Essa. Of course, that's if Nia agrees," he added quickly.

"I like it. It's a beautiful name," Tashir said smiling.

"Essa," I repeated to myself. "Yeah, I like that too. It's a pretty cool name, actually."

"That's not a name I've heard before. Where did you get it?" Kris asked.

"Nia and I used to play with a girl named Essella when we were littles," Trine said as he lightly touched a tuft of strawberry blond hair. "The girl herself was alright, but I thought her name was horrible so I called her Essa."

Trine then brought Essa to the nearest door for Jervan, Shay, Jaysdin, and Aryon to see her, then we visitors were sent packing for the night. As Kris, Jervan, Tashir and I walked back up to the Palace with the Companions at our heels, Jervan posed an interesting question.

"Ssso, when can we expect little babiesss frrrom you two?" he asked Tashir and I.

"Babies? From us?" Tashir asked, sounding rather dumbfounded.

Kris was nodding his head. "Yes, from you two. I'm sure you've had enough practice."

I raised a wary eyebrow. "Do I seem like the motherly type to you two? I've never really been sure if I wanted kids and besides, right now is not the time for me to be getting pregnant."

"I know I am not ready for children yet," Tashir replied. Was it my imagination, or did he sound a little...disappointed?

:I have to agree with you, Chosen. You are in no position to think about having children. And I don't think anyone here is ready to hear a small child use your rather colorful vocabulary.: I opened my mouth to shoot something back at Shay, but closed it when I realized how true it would probably be.

"What did Shayna say?" Kris asked, taking note of my reaction.

"She doesn't think Valdemar's ready for kids from me yet. They'd probably be born swearing and insulting people. And the scary thing is she's got a point."

It wasn't until I crawled into bed that night with Tashir in his new digs as Court Bard, that it occurred to me what the date was. By my calendar, it was September 22nd, marking ten years since I'd first come to Valdemar. But instead of laying there, with Punky behind my knees and an arm around Tashir, feeling sorry for myself, I felt happy; content. That's when I made a big decision. September 22nd would no longer be a day of mixed sorrow and anger for me. Instead, it would be a day of celebration for little Essa, and there's no room for unhappiness on birthdays.