Thanks to Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, daywalkr82, CajunBear73, kpfan72491, Molloy, Stand Alone Battle A.I, Magnatron, Akinyi, Randy C, Molloy, RonHeartbreaker, and Danny-171984 for reading and reviewing. They all got personalize thank you's. Don't forget to get yours!
Kim, Ron, and all other characters within are owned by the Walt Disney Corporation. Juan Valdez is a registered trademark of the National Federation of Coffee Growers of Colombia…
Episode 4: School's Out?
by Ultimate Naco Topping
Students burst through the doors of Middleton High School and soaked up the glorious Monday afternoon. It was glorious not just because it was postcard perfect weather, but because this was the last Monday of the school year. In just a few more days, the freshmen would no longer be the lowest forms of life. The sophomores would now be upperclassmen. The juniors would rule the school as seniors. And the seniors would be free forever! Although, a few seniors found disappointment that their secret 'Senior Skip Day' plans had been sniffed out by the administration. The school's marquee now quipped:
Skipping school to bungee jump will get you suspended.
Everyone had an extra pep in their step as they dashed to their cars or began to walk home. Everyone except…
--
"Stoppable! Explain yourself!" Mr. Barkin bellowed.
Gladys, the school's secretary, glanced up from her computer to see a sight she had seen many times before in that office. Well, almost. As usual, Ron was frozen in place as Middleton High's all-purpose educator loomed over him. The difference this time came in the splotches of cheddar cheese and kernels of popcorn that each were covered in. Amusing as the sight may have been, Gladys wasn't going to stick around. She paused her work entering the students' grade reports into the computer and slipped out the office door.
Ron, who didn't have the luxury of leaving, stared back at the man whose workload within the school seemed to defy the laws of space and time. With a gulp, Ron tried to remember exactly where things went wrong…
--
Students donned aprons and goggles as each began to handle the two beakers at their lab stations. Mr. Barkin stood at the front of the classroom in the same safety gear as everyone else informing the students of the proper mixing procedures. In the lab station furthest from the front, Ron shot a couple glances forward to make sure he wasn't drawing any attention to himself. Carefully, he pulled a block of cheese from his backpack as Rufus jumped up onto the counter with a bag of un-popped popcorn.
"Time for some real science, buddy," Ron said enthusiastically to his naked mole rat as he lit the Bunsen burner.
--
Ron had no choice but to backpedal as Mr. Barkin pushed farther and farther into the blonde's face.
"I'd recommend you for suspension but that would mean you would miss valuable class time," the educator barked. Ron ran out of room as he bumped into the secretary's desk. "Obviously, you aren't responding to my disciplinary program so maybe it's time for some out of the box thinking…"
Ron had been pushed so far back that he was forced to place his hand on the computer's keyboard to brace himself. As he did so, the last student whose grades had been entered appeared on the screen: Possible, Kimberly A.
"…I have no idea what it is going to entail, but rest assured…," Barkin continued. On the screen a warning message now hovered over Kim's grades that read: Are you sure you want to delete entry?
"…when I figure out what to do with you, you'll either be ready to join an elite military academy or go crying home to your mama!"
Mr. Barkin pulled himself out of Ron's face and, with a snort, exited the office. The blonde watched him all the way out the door before relaxing. As he did, his hand ever so slightly grazed the 'enter' key. With a barely noticeable hum, Kim's information on the screen went blank before being replaced by the next student to be listed alphabetically: Potts, Randy B. Sighing nervously, Ron headed for the hallway.
Kim rounded the corner hurriedly searching for Ron. She barely had time to change into her cheer uniform let alone track down her best friend and school mascot. Finally, she spotted him grabbing books out of his locker. Before she could begin her interrogation of where he'd been, she took notice of the cheese and popcorn covering the boy.
"Do I even want to know?" Kim asked as Ron shut his locker.
"Science class; Bunsen burners; cheese; you know: the usual," Ron said dryly as the pair began to head for the gym.
"So I'm betting you've got some one-on-one time with Barkin in detention?" the redhead inquired.
"Nope," said Ron with despair. "He decided he was going 'outside the box' this time."
Kim shuddered. Mr. Barkin getting creative with disciplinary techniques could only spell doom for her boyfriend.
"Well, it's been nice knowing you," she said. Ron nearly wilted at the thought forcing Kim to take his hand.
"It won't be as bad as you think," Kim tried to console. "Now get changed out of those clothes and meet me in the gym for the cheerleading tryouts. Tara can't make it and I need you to balance out Bonnie on the selection committee."
--
The sun headed for its daily appointment with the horizon but before slipping completely out of site, it painted a dazzling orange picture across the western sky. Without paying the beautiful setting any mind, two figures entered the Possible family home.
"Next year's squad is going to be badical!" Ron exclaimed as he set his Mad Dog gear down in the entry hall.
"Yeah, if I spend every waking hour this summer whipping them into shape," Kim groaned as she followed him inside. As she set down her duffle bag next to Ron's things, the phone rang.
"I got it!" Mr. Dr. Possible yelled as he swooped in and grabbed the handset. "I've been expecting a call from the Space Center all day."
Kim's father rushed into the next room before either teen could respond. Ron resumed their conversation.
"Oh, come on, K.P., those new girls were pretty good."
"Ron, you voted for the girl who did the 'Macarena' as her routine," the cheerleader countered.
"In my defense," Ron responded with mock umbrage. "You told me to do the opposite of what Bonnie did."
Kim opened her mouth to retort but realized she didn't have anything to fire back. For once, Ron had her.
"Well, I guess that was my fault," she said in surrender before pulling Ron into a light hug. "You want to stick around for dinner or are you going home to snack on your t-shirt?"
"Okay, first, of course I'm staying for dinner and second, don't knock the Pop-cheese. It's the next great American snack food. Just as soon as I figure out how to make it…"
"Says the inventor of the 'naco'," Kim said smiling back up at him. With the conversation winding down, more amorous feelings began flowing between the two. Had the twins been in the vicinity, a Level 5 kootie alert would have been issued. Instead, the duo appeared to have an uninterrupted opportunity for a lip-lock and began taking all necessary actions to achieve that objective until…
"Kimmie," Mrs. Dr. Possible said in a quiet but stern voice. The young couple separated faster than an ice berg falling off the ice caps due to global warming. "I think it might be best if Ronald went home."
James entered the hall and stood next to his wife still holding the phone.
"I just got off the phone with your school," he began. "There's some sort of issue with your grades…"
--
"This is ferociously unfair," Kim huffed. She crossed her arms for emphasis only to draw ireful stares from her parents who were seated on either side of her.
"I'm sorry," Mr. Barkin stated matter-of-factly. "But according to the computer, we have no record of you completing your course work."
"But don't you have a backup grade sheet?" Mrs. Dr. Possible asked.
"We throw it out after the grades get entered. If we kept it, we wouldn't need the computer."
"Yeah, that makes sense," Kim sassed. Her father let out a nervous laugh embarrassed by his daughter's behavior.
"Okay, what are Kim's options?" Mr. Dr. Possible inquired.
"Well, first, she could go to summer school," the educator began. Kim snorted at the notion. "Or, she could complete all the course work she's missing before the school year is over."
"And if she doesn't?" Kim's mom asked.
"We'll have no choice but to hold her back."
All eyes turned to Kim waiting for her decision. With a deep breath, a look of determination entrenched itself on her face.
--
"Whoa! Kim, mondo bueno solution!" Ron exclaimed despite being weighed down by a large stack of Kim's books. Kim was equally loaded. "Just have Wade hack into to school system and change your grades back!"
"All ready thought about it," Kim said deflated. "But that would be a bit too suspicious. I don't need cheating added to my troubles. Speaking of trouble, did Barkin lay the law down on you yet?"
"Nope!" he declared with an almost devilish glint in his eyes. "And according to my sources…"
"The two guys in the cafeteria?"
"K.P., sources sounds way cooler and…, yes. They said if Barkin doesn't assign a punishment before the end of the year, it can't carry over to the next."
"Okay," Kim said skeptically. "But how are you going to manage avoiding Barkin? He teaches most of your classes."
"One step ahead of you, Kim," the sidekick grinned.
--
Mr. Barkin stood before the class with an open book in his hand; reading glasses in the other. Most of the students were halfway to dreamland but he didn't seem to notice.
"So the author's use of the caterpillar and the butterfly is a symbolization of the transitions we all experience in life. Wouldn't you agree…, new guy?"
In the middle of the room, a young man who looked like a young Juan Valdez in a sombrero and poncho perked up. A small rodent with a mule pack and donkey ears continued to sulk at the outrageousness of the disguise on his shoulder.
"Si!" came Ron's muffled reply from behind his mask.
--
The Possible's living room was littered with paper, open books, and fast food wrappers. Kim was laying on the floor scribbling out math problems one after the other. Ron was sprawled on the couch summarizing her English reading. Kim first resisted the idea concerned it was 'cheatish', but her mother convinced her it was a necessary compromise. The redhead put the finishing touches on another assignment and tossed it in the 'complete' pile. Rolling over, she began to stretch her aching hand.
"How's Low the Plow… now that you're actually reading it this time?" Kim asked looking up at Ron. He never took his eyes the book as he responded.
"I've seen nothing to change my original critique," he said dryly.
With a deep sigh, Kim turned back to her math assignments. Three hours into the homework marathon, the numbers were already blurring together. She was torn between taking a break that she really didn't have time for or pressing ahead with mediocre work.
Beep-beep. Ba-beep. The Kimunicator decided for her.
"Go, Wade," Kim said as she activated the device.
"How's the homework sitch coming?" the boy genius asked as he flashed on the screen.
"As well as can be expected."
"You know, I could hack into…"
"Don't tempt me, Wade," Kim interrupted. "What do you have for us?"
"Drakken and Shego busted out last night and they're on the move," Wade said seriously.
"You got them tracked?" asked Kim as she stood.
"They're breaking into a top secret lab outside Middleton right now. And get this: if you foil them again, they'll set the record for most failed plots by a super villain."
"Well, let's not keep the record books waiting," Kim said as she began to head for the stairs. She only took a couple steps before her mom blocked her path.
"Kim, I don't think you have time to go chasing after villains," Mrs. Dr. Possible stated in a motherly tone.
"But if I don't go, who will?" Kim instantly objected.
"I can think of someone who's capable," her mother said motioning her head to her solution. Kim turned around to see Ron still on the couch. The book had been tossed aside and he was now trying to balance a pencil on the tip of his nose. Kim immediately spun back to her mother.
"Uh-uh. No way! Maybe if it was just Drakken, but I can't send Ron by himself against Shego!" the younger redhead declared indignantly. Ron snapped into the conversation at the mention of his name in the same sentence as Shego's.
"Actually, Kim, he doesn't have to go by himself," Wade said still on the Kimunicator. The door bell chimed as soon as he had finished. Kim, Ron, and Mrs. Dr. Possible made their way to the entry hall and opened the door. Each of the three was surprised to see… nothing.
"Wade…," Kim said, but before she continue giving voice to her doubts, the stealthy outline of the Wadebot filled itself in. Wade's smiling face occupied its front screen. Nothing looked too different about the contraption except for the fact that its tank treads were gone – it was hovering.
"I give you the Wadebot 3.0!" its creator proudly said. "Now complete with virtual reality battle mode!"
He held up a set of control gloves and VR helmet.
"I think it's time for a road test," Wade continued. Ron and Rufus enthusiastically inspected the new 'bot. The blonde hopped on the back.
"Why would you need to road test it? It's a hovercraft!" Ron said sincerely.
"Well, Kim, what do you say?" the elder redhead said with a sly smile. Kim grunted as she realized that she really didn't have a choice.
"Fine," she conceded. "But be careful!"
"Booyah!" Ron and Rufus shouted in unison. Ron stuck his hand in the air. "Give me five, Wade!"
Wade took control of the robot and obliged. The sidekick regretted his request as soon as the robot's hand impacted with his.
"Okay, we still need to work on that," he said cradling his now throbbing hand. Kim shuddered and let out a groan.
The mountains west of Middleton contained beauty only rivaled by that of the National Park System. Tall pine and fir trees gave the rocky ridges a green coat of vegetation. Mountain streams teamed with fish as they poured down into fresh ponds and lakes.
Skirting along a mountain road making its way to the top secret lab, the Wadebot hovered around the road's twists and turns – Ron hanging on for dear life. The robot's monitor swung around to face Ron.
"We're almost there," Wade said onscreen. With a couple of pushed buttons, a security feed from the lab popped on screen. "Drakken and Shego are already inside."
Through the eye of the security camera, the villainous duo could clearly be seen. Dr. Drakken weaved his way around various devices and top secret projects. Shego was right behind him – a look of boredom on her face - pushing a hover cart that her boss would occasionally place something in.
"Looks like we got a 'hover' theme going today," Ron quipped.
--
Tiny gloved hands picked up a rather small electronic device and held it up for black-ringed beady eyes to examine. After a series of twists and turns, and a few squints at the object's features, it failed to captivate the blue-skinned villain's interest and was quickly dropped. Before the poor device made it to the table, another object caught Dr. Drakken's eye. The evil genius rushed over to the workbench it was located on and produced a shopping list of sorts. Looking at the list and back to the new object of affection several times, Drakken finally turned and beamed towards his henchwoman.
"Shego!" he declared as his hand swept in front of the device like a sales model. "Do you know what this is?"
Shego rolled her eyes as she looked up from her copy of Villain's Digest that she had been reading while pushing the hover cart. Before she gave an automatic 'no', she had to take a second look.
"A blender," she said dryly. "Are we taking over the world with evil smoothies this time?"
The blue-skinned villain looked back at the work bench to see he was showing off the wrong item – a Blend-o-matic 3000. He took a half step to his right and picked up the right device and began making his way to the cart.
"This…," Drakken said holding it higher so Shego could see it. "…is a magnetic field reverser coil."
"Sounds neat," Shego flatly responded before returning to her magazine. Drakken grumbled a bit but rather than press the issue and explain its purpose, he placed the MFRC in the cart and crossed it off his list.
The duo continued their 'shopping spree', the self-proclaimed doctor adhering to his list – his sidekick not giving him anymore notice than she had to. However, as they passed a blue floating orb on a pedestal, Shego finally got curios about something. Dr. Drakken paid it no mind and walked on by, but the olive skinned woman took a closer look. Tiny electrical charges danced around its outer shell. Nothing seemed to support it – the orb just hovered there.
"What's this thing?" Shego asked as she reached out to touch it. In a move that should have well been his last among the living, Drakken slapped her hand away before she could reach halfway to the floating ball. Shego was torn between burning her boss to a crisp or unleashing a verbal tirade never before seen. Her indecision allowed him to explain.
"That is an anti-proton nexus containment field!" the evil genius stated in a life-or-death tone. Shego's welling internal rage at his hand slap aside, she couldn't resist herself.
"How much of that did you just make up?" she sassed.
"None of it," Drakken responded as he resumed his previous course. "If the field were to become destabilized in any way, it would blow every molecule in this room into tiny pieces."
"Then you'd better keep that thing away from me, cause I like my molecules in regular sized," Ron Stoppable said confidently as he stepped out of the shadows – Rufus posed likewise on his shoulder. In an instant, Shego ditched the hover cart and closed a good portion of the distance between herself and Ron. Taking an aggressive battle stance, the green clad villainess was ready for Kim's counter-move.
"So, Kim Possible and the buffoon are here to…," Drakken began ranting before being cutoff by Ron.
"Actually, first: Kim's not here. And second: I thought you were going to start using my name!" Ron complained as Drakken took an inquisitive look at the boy and began muttering last names that started with 's'. Shego, on the other hand, had a different response.
"Hang on: did you just say your little girlfriend's not here?" Shego asked.
"Nope," Ron replied taking two bold steps forward. "She's got homework. Lots and lots of homework…,"
"See what I mean by us losing respect in the community," Shego almost growled as she turned to Drakken. "They're only sending the sidekicks after us now!"
The evil genius merely lifted his nose in response not wanting to acknowledge Shego's little barb. As he turned his head away, yet another top-secret device caught his attention. With a quick check to his list, an evil grin spread across his face.
"Oh, well. It all pays the same," Shego said with a sneer as she turned back to Ron and ignited her plasma. The blonde teenager suddenly realized that he was about to square off with one of the most dangerous women on the planet and naturally took a step back. But fortunately for him, something in the inner recesses of the woman's mind connected a few dots and raised the red flag.
"Wait a second. Time out," she said extinguishing her hands and relaxing her posture. "I called Possible your girlfriend and you didn't freak out."
"Yeah, so?" Ron said unsure of where Shego was going.
"But…, you always freak out and get defensive when I call her that," the henchwoman pressed – her suspicions rising.
"I do not!" he replied sharply.
"And now you're getting defensive about being defensive. It's as if you were…," and then it suddenly dawned on Shego. As the first few giggles escaped her, she began to look at the teen in amazement. Never in a million years did she ever think it was possible, but then again…
"You and Princess are actually…, dating!"
When all Ron could do was nervously smile back at her, the raven haired woman lost it. Waves of uproarious laughter spilled out of her as she clutched her gut. Ron failed to find humor in the situation as his 'serious face' came out to play.
"Wait till the other villains get a load of…," Shego began before a size twelve boot buried itself in her gut sending her flat on her back. As the air she so desperately needed to finish her insult didn't bother to say goodbye on its way out of her lungs, she opened her eyes just in time to see Stoppable springboarding off of her and over towards Drakken.
Landing with surprising poise, Ron cut-off the blue-skinned nemesis before he could reach his prize. Drakken stumbled back a few steps before tripping and falling on his rear. The blonde was getting a rare taste of what it was like to be Kim (that didn't involve switching bodies).
"Would you like pin-stripes or an orange jumpsuit with that prison sentence?" the teen hero said advancing on the doctor who had begun to crawl backward in fear.
"Shego!" Drakken yelped. "Get up here! The buffoon suddenly has moves!"
"Hey!" Ron shot back as he pulled up. "I've always had moves!"
Drakken considered the notion for a brief second and formulated a response.
"Well, now you're actually using them and it's freaking me out!"
"Yeah, it's kind of scaring me too…," Ron said with a smile completely out of the moment. Before he could realize the mistake, a pair of hands seized the front of his mission shirt and lifted him off the ground. An extremely irate Shego was now snorting like an enraged bull in his face.
"Okay, this is more like it," he said – his more fearful self returning.
"Sidekicks should know their place, remember?" the henchwoman snarled at him. With the enraged desire to pay back Ron for the Zorpox incident, Shego raised her right hand in a chillingly sharp claw and ignited it.
"Couldn't agree with you more. Wade! Now!" Ron hollered with a mixture of slyness and panic. Before Shego could deliver the crushing blow, her jaw snapped sideways as she released the blonde from her grasp. As Ron hit the floor, Shego tumbled into the corner left to wonder what in the world had just hit her. The 'what' being the Wadebot 3.0 filled itself in and tracked towards her.
"In case you were wondering," Wade said on the robot's screen while putting on the VR gloves and helmet. "Ron's on point today. I've got the sidekicking duties…"
The olive-skinned henchwoman stood as she worked her jaw back into position. Rage boiled over at the thought of being bested by a twelve-year old playing a video game. Shego let every muscle in her body access her power as she readied to charge.
"So the nerdlinger wants to play…! Game on!" Shego roared as she flared up her powers to the max. Sprinting forward, the woman in green hurled bolts of plasma at her new target.
Meanwhile, Drakken had taken full advantage of the diversion and made his way to a device that looked a lot like a ray gun. If it hadn't had been for Rufus's desperate squeaks, Ron would have remained enthralled with the battle between Shego and the Wadebot. Following his mole rat's pointing, the teen hero turned in time to see Dr. Drakken lifting the ray gun off its stand. Quickly jumping to his feet, Ron looked around for a plan and, spotting the magnetic field reverser coil, picked it up out of the hover cart and hurled it towards Drakken.
"Finally, with the Neural Harmonic Compliance Ray, it is I, Dr. Drakk…ne-eroOOoh!" the evil genius screamed as the MFRC collided with his forehead mid-rant. As he fell backwards, the neural ray flew up into the air tumbling end over end and seemed to be headed for an untimely demise against the floor until Ron made a sliding catch to save it.
"Booyah!" Ron exclaimed getting back to his feet. "Saved the Neural… harmonica… thingy…"
No sooner than had the teen finished than had Dr. Drakken recovered and grabbed a piece of the ray gun for himself – a fresh welt on his forehead.
"Give that to me!" the blue-skinned villain declared.
"No way!" came Ron's predictable response.
With neither side budging, the NHCR became the object of a high-stakes tug of war. The two grunted and strained against the other occasionally peppering the engagement with a misplaced kick or shove. With Ron and Drakken completely focused on each other, Rufus took the opportunity to climb across the battle lines and crawl up onto Drakken's head. Leaning into the evil genius's field of vision, the pink rodent gave a "Hello!" accompanied by a wave.
"Ahhh! Get it off me!" Dr. Drakken shouted in a high pitched squeal.
His adversary properly distracted, Ron easily yanked the compliance ray out of Drakken's tiny hands. As Rufus made a last second jump from the doctor's head back to Ron's shoulder, Ron, in a rare moment of aggressive bravado, delivered a spinning kick into the blue-skinned villain's midsection and sent him flying across the room. It would have been a perfect moment of triumph for the boy had Drakken then not collided with the pedestal holding the anti-proton nexus containment field sending the blue orb rolling across the lab's floor.
High above the ground, Shego was perched on the ledge that ringed the lab's walls. She was gripped hand-to-hand with the Wadebot which was hovering upside down just above her. A sudden white flash bright enough to make even Wade shield his eyes on his monitor forced both parties to disengage.
"Oh no!" Wade exclaimed as he swiveled his robot around to get a view of what just happened. "Not the anti-proton nexus containment field!"
"So, Dr. D. wasn't making it all up?" Shego groaned. She had a pretty good idea what was going to happen next.
"'Fraid not," Wade said with concern.
"And that's bad for us, right?"
"Yep."
Shego furrowed her brow and grumbled something before leaping from the ledge and sprinting to her now terrified employer. She yanked him off the floor as she fired a bolt of plasma through the wall to reveal their hover car parked outside.
"But the Neural Harmonic Compliance Ray!" Drakken protested as his employee shoved him through the new exit.
"But the giant orb of death that's about to blast us into tiny pieces," Shego mocked back.
As the villains made a hasty retreat, Ron and Rufus were left alone in the middle of the lab both shielding their eyes from the ever expanding APNCF. Before either one had a thought of their own escape, the Wadebot swooped in for the save. Ron wasted no time hopping on the back.
"Hang on tight!" Wade declared as his robot produced two small rockets out of each side blasting them towards the open skylight they had used to get in. With the full force of the rockets, Ron instinctively dropped the compliance ray to secure himself to the Wadebot. He realized a moment to late what he had done and could only watch as the ray gun plummeted to the floor and shattered into pieces.
"Ah, man! That tanks!" Ron said as they zoomed out of the building at full speed. In a matter of seconds, energy bolts enveloped the soon to be former top secret lab before a bright blast of light incinerated it. The Wadebot, with its passengers still secure, skimmed the treetops just ahead of the blast riding all the way to safety.
--
Teenagers floated through the halls of Middleton High with rampant anticipation as the countdown to the summer could now be more easily measured in hours instead of days. Time could not tick by fast enough for any of them as they hit their lockers to get their books for their next classes. Then again, for one student, time couldn't crawl slowly enough…
Kim wasn't going to let a little thing like having to walk from one place to another stop her from completing her mission. Though there were some nasty lines forming under her eyes and she looked as if she hadn't paid attention to her appearance that morning, she was as focused as ever. Ron dutifully held a biology book out in front of her as he was forced to walk backwards through the crowd trying his best to keep the book steady and not run into anybody. The redhead jotted down another answer as Ron tried to get her attention.
"K.P., are you even listening to me?" Ron groaned.
"You were talking about totally kicking Drakken's biscuit, stopping him and Shego, and blowing up an eight billion dollar research facility," his girlfriend replied flatly as she continued writing.
"Kim, we're trying to leave out the part about blowing up the lab," Ron said as they reached Kim's locker. "Not good on the public relations front…"
With a flurry of pencil activity, the redhead finished the assignment and slammed the book shut after taking it from her boyfriend's hands.
"That takes care of the science classes," she said sliding down to the floor in an exhausted clump. "Would you be a dear and grab my English book for me?"
Ron got a small smile out of being called 'dear'. Terms of affection were still a novelty between the couple. Opening Kim's locker and grabbing the appropriate book, Ron was greeted by Wade on the monitor.
"Hey, Ron! Where's Kim?" the boy genius asked. Before Ron could answer, a rather loud snore emanated from below. The blonde looked down to see Kim resting her head against his leg-eyes shut. A trail of drool was sliding out of her gaping mouth and down his pants.
"Do you think she's going to make it? She's only got thirty-eight hours to go," Wade worriedly said.
"Of course," Ron replied as the look on his face betrayed him. "This is Kim we're talking about… Got anything else on the Drakken/Shego thing?"
"Nothing solid to go on," said the tech guru. "But I did talk GJ about the record…"
"And?" Ron asked perking up.
"No go," Wade said. The sidekick slumped at the news. "Apparently, you have to stop an actual plan and capture them for it to count. By those standards, we went O-for-two."
"Ah man, more tankage…"
"But I did find out you set an individual record."
"Really, which mark on the record books is the Ron-ster the new owner of?"
"Most missions where a lab or lair blew up."
Ron weighed the news with a shift of his eyebrow before giving a light smile and a shrug of the shoulders.
"A record's a record…"
--
Boxes of unmarked junk and equipment filled almost every useable inch of the time-share lair. What little floor space was left was covered by packing peanuts and bubble wrap. Dr. Drakken had seated himself on a semi-crushed empty box. Another box served as some sort of a desk. With a very cross expression on his face, Drakken was staring at a small model. Three tiny figures in Team Possible mission gear and matching red, blonde, and no hair were poised to face their doom before a toy laser. The evil genius's hand quivered over the 'annihilate' button, but he just wasn't in the mood. He pushed the model aside and set his head on the make-shift desk.
"…I know! I couldn't believe it either!" Shego laughed into her cell phone as she walked through the maze of boxes. Dropping a load of bills in her boss's face, she continued.
"Apparently, they got together at the prom… Wonder whose fault that is?" Shego sassed as she directed the statement more towards Drakken than whoever she was talking with.
The blue-skinned villain growled as he looked up from the late notice he had opened. Crumpling it up, he tossed it over his shoulder with the rest of the bills.
"Anyway, good luck with that hostile take-over. Buh-bye!" said Shego before she flipped her phone closed.
"Who was that?" Drakken asked as he raised an eyebrow over the rather polite 'good-bye'.
"My financial advisor," the henchwoman replied picking up one of the discarded bills and waiving it in Drakken's face. "You should talk to him."
"Oh, please," Drakken scoffed. "They're just bloodthirsty sharks after another commission. I can manage my finances just fine!"
"Suit yourself," Shego replied. Becoming bored with the conversation, she vaporized the bill she was holding.
With a heavy sigh, Dr. Drakken rested his head back on his table-box.
"This is so ferociously unfair," he moaned. "If it weren't for the buffoon and that techno nerd, I'd have the most technologically advanced arsenal on the planet. It's not right that a man of my genius and cunning is constantly thwarted by teenagers…"
"Poor Dr. D.," Shego said feigning sympathy as she began to file her nails. "Tossed aside in the trash pile just like all that expensive stuff Stoppable blew up."
"Shego," the mad scientist grumbled. "What have I said about mocking me when I'm…"
Dr. Drakken sat straight up as some idea replaced his forlorned angst with a growing optimism.
"Wait! That's it!" he said as he stood with vigor. Shego winced as she realized she must have triggered whatever was going on with her boss. This is why we try to avoid talking to him, she scolded herself.
"What's it?" she asked before she could bite her tounge. Hey! What did you just tell yourself?
"Shego! You're a genius!" he declared as he grabbed her in a rare bear hug. Shego had to resist the urge to blast him across the room.
"You're touching me. Why are you touching me?"
"Come, Shego," the evil genius said after releasing her and heading for the exit. "We have work to do…"
The last day of school: it ranked right up there with, Christmas, every day of Hanukah, his birthday, Kim's birthday, and the annual Lowerton Cheese Symposium as Ron Stoppable's favorite days of the year. But even as the weather matched the gloriousness of such a day, a small dark cloud followed Ron as he tracked up the path to the Possible's front door. He had felt some guilt for leaving Kim at two in the morning during the homework homestretch, but she reassured him that there was nothing more he could do. He wanted so bad to come through in her time of need, but no serious solutions had come to him as he entered the front door and made his way to the kitchen.
As expected, Kim sat at the breakfast table surrounded by a pile of books and papers writing faster than a hummingbird. Mrs. Dr. Possible watched her with concern from the coffee maker as she poured herself a cup of coffee.
"Hey, K.P.," Ron greeted timidly. "Ready for the last day of class?"
"HeyRonisittimeforschoolalreadyIdidn'tnoticeitwasdaylightdoIhavetimetochangeprobablynotohwellgottagetthisalldone," Kim blurbed.
Not really understanding anything she said, Ron noticed the trash can was full of empty coffee cans. A sideways glance to her mother confirmed, at least in her opinion, she wasn't going to finish in time. Gently, Ron sat down next to his girlfriend and placed his hand over hers. The redhead immediately took umbrage to this interruption to her work.
"Kim, maybe it would be better if…," Ron started softly before the redhead cut him off.
"I. Am. Going. To. Finish," she growled as she looked a hole right through her best friend.
A lesser man would have turned away in ghastly shock. But Ron held tough at the morphed appearance of the girl he had known for the better part of fourteen years. One eye was wide, bloodshot, and obviously tweaked. The other twitched repeatedly; heavy bags had formed under both. Her hair was, in one word, frumpy – random unwashed strands popped out of the ponytail she had it in. And though normally her complexion was good enough such that she didn't have to wear makeup to look her best, Kim was dangerously close to a break out. Despite it all, Ron didn't flinch.
"You got it, K.P.," he said shifting to give her as much support as he could. If only that stupid grade sheet hadn't been thrown out, Ron thought as he began helping Kim get her books together. And then it hit him…
--
"Vis isda mos rrrdculs lan uv evr ad!" said Shego muffled by her gas mask.
Her employer balled his hands into trembling fists and grinded his back teeth before turning to address her.
"I told you to take that ridiculous thing off!" he ordered. "I can't understand a word you're saying."
With a groan, the most dangerous woman in the world complied as the overpowering smell of the Tri-City Landfill seeped into her nostrils. Mountains of trash ringed the valleys of sludge and mud as the henchwoman found herself in the last place she wanted to be after breaking out of prison.
"I said," she began with a gag. "This is the most ridiculous plan you've ever had."
"Nonsense, Shego," Dr. Drakken said hopping on a small pile of garbage to survey the layout. "With the number of scientific facilities in the Tri-City area, the amount of high tech components that just get tossed out is enormous! And they all end up here!"
"So?" Shego said suppressing another gag.
"So…?! So, stuff that is thrown out is considered public property. Which means, nobody can stop us from taking as much as we want whenever we want!"
As Drakken began to walk around a bit, Shego had no choice but to follow. Her third step landed her foot in a slimy substance that she was sure would never wash out of her suit. And I just had it dry cleaned…
"But this is all busted up junk! None of it works. That's why it was thrown out!" she objected.
"Ah, ah!" her boss retorted as he jumped on another pile of garbage and struck a menacing pose. "With my evil genius, I can turn a pile of junk some goody-two-shoes scientist threw out into the means for WORLD DOMINATION!"
The olive-skinned woman allowed a few more seconds of his self-indulgence to pass silently before responding.
"You spent too much time with Lucre in the slammer, didn't you?"
Drakken grunted off the insult as he returned to ground level.
"Nrrr.., come on. I saw a pile over there that looked pretty fresh…"
--
"Ron, this is the most ridiculous plan you've ever had," Wade said through the Wadebot's screen.
Ron did not share that sentiment as he and Rufus jumped off the back of the hover craft at the entrance to the Tri-City Landfill.
"Wade, you're not helping and we don't have a lot of time," Ron pleaded.
"Okay, fine," the boy genius conceded. "Let's just run through the plan one more time: you're going to use your dumb luck…,"
"Ah, ah! Dumb skill," Ron corrected.
"Right…, your dumb skill to find Kim's grade report in the largest trash dump in the state."
"Shh! If you say that's what we're going to do, then you'll jinx us. So that's what we're not going to do!"
Wade locked eyes with Rufus as the naked mole rat and tech guru exchanged confused shrugs.
"This will never work," Wade groaned.
"That's the spirit!" Ron exclaimed as he walked through the landfill's entrance waving for the robot to follow. "Let's not get going!
--
The heat of the day was doing nothing to alleviate the stench from the mounds of garbage as Shego struggled to pull an old car hood that had been flipped over and loaded with various things Dr. Drakken saw potential in. With a final grunt against the rope, the villainess stopped in front of the pile her boss was now sorting through. The evil genius cheerily tossed useless items aside with abandon until something caught his eye. He stopped and stared down for a moment – a sentimental sigh escaped his lips. Picking up the small red toy, he turned to his sidekick.
"Shego, look what I fo…," he said but before he could finish, a pinpoint accurate bolt of plasma disintegrated the 'lil Diablo right out of his hand.
Realizing he was already pressing his luck, he mounted no fuss over the incident and with a barely audible 'grrr!', made his way to another pile of junk. He had barely begun sorting when he spotted something else that excited him - a large piece of the busted neural harmonic compliance ray had managed to survive. Gleefully, Drakken reached down to pick it up but was intercepted by a cockroach the size of a border collie that scooped the device in its mouth.
"Gaaah!" Drakken gasped as he recoiled in shock at the site of such a thing. But when the oversized bug playfully wagged its thorax and indicated that it wanted to play tug-of-war with the busted ray gun, the doctor's disgust shifted to annoyance.
"Give that to me!" the blue-skinned villain declared latching onto the ray and yanking it out of the bug's mouth. "This is key to my plans! Not a chew toy!"
When the mutant roach jumped up Drakken's leg thinking that the game was on, the evil genius swiftly kicked the poor creature away. With a yelp, it tumbled down the pile landing at Ron Stoppable's feet just as the teen hero rounded another pile of garbage.
"Roachie!" Ron shouted happily at the site of his old friend. Roachie did not share the same enthusiasm as he leaped into Ron's arms and furiously clicked away about the injustice he had just received.
"Slow down," Ron said. "I'm a little rusty…"
The conversation continued in 'roach' as boy and bug clicked mandibles back and forth. Ron finally realized what Roachie was trying to tell him and looked up to see a dumbfounded Drakken and disgusted Shego staring at him.
"Is he actually talking to that thing?" Drakken asked wide-eyed. Shego got her bearings much faster.
"Yeah, don't worry about the sidekick showing up to stop us. Let's worry about him talking to a giant cockroach!" Shego yelled dripping every word in sass.
The raven haired woman charged forward hurling a ball of energy straight towards Ron, Rufus, and Roachie. The blonde jumped back in the nick of time and landed on a discarded hubcap - his two animal friends jumped clear in the other direction. As Shego lined up to fire another blast, the Wadebot streaked by him swiftly picking up Rufus and Roachie and extended an arm to Ron.
"Grab on!" Wade shouted. It took Ron no time to comply as he was yanked out of danger just in the nick of time. Wade accelerated his invention and the blonde haired sidekick now found himself riding on the hubcap behind the Wadebot like a water-skier. With a predatory growl, Shego vaulted herself on top of one the massive piles of garbage and gave chase jumping from pile to pile while raining down bolts of plasma that Ron had to frantically dodge.
Ahead of the chase, a large stack of beat up and crushed cars lay directly in the heroes' path. The naked mole rat and mutant cockroach passengers both screamed in panic as Wade commanded the Wadebot to take a sharp right, but Ron was left still heading straight for a nasty collision. Shego spotted her opportunity to cut the teen off and leaped for the stack of cars. Ron let out a startled scream of courage certain of his doom just as the extended arm of the Wadebot cracked him like a whip in the new direction. Ron was pulled into the turn at the last possible second – the bottom of his make-shift wakeboard bounced him off the stack of cars. Groaning and trembling, the tower destabilized. In mid-air, the olive-skinned villainess realized that she was not in for a happy landing. The pile collapsed with the top car pivoting like a baseball bat smacking the woman like a hanging curveball. Shego soared over most of the dump before landing in a particularly foul heap of refuse.
As soon as Wade realized that they were no longer being chased, he slammed the brakes and turned the screen to face Ron who was still barreling at them at full speed. Instinctively grabbing the bottom of the hubcap, Ron jumped over the robot narrowly avoiding a collision as Rufus, Roachie, and even Wade (though safely inside his room) ducked.
"Badical!" the blonde shouted as he stuck the landing. Still moving fairly quickly, he turned his head back to see if his friends were all right as they did the same for him. "Check out my mad garbage surfing skills!"
"Ron! Look out!" Wade shouted after the boy as he hurtled unwittingly towards another mound of filth. Ron swiveled back just in time to do nothing as he plowed into the pile and garbage collapsed all around him.
Rufus and Roachie were first on the scene as the dust settled – the Wadebot right behind – as all three began digging Ron out.
"I think… I busted… my gallbladder," Ron said with a groan as he sat up. Trash trickled off him in every different direction with the exception of a sheet of paper that stuck to his face. The teen hero almost pulled it off and tossed it away before he realized what he held.
"Booyah!" he shouted rapturously jumping to his feet. "Found it!"
"No way!" Wade retorted in disbelief as Ron held the paper up to the Wadebot's camera. Sure enough, it was the missing grade report. "Your plan…, it actually worked…"
"Come on," Ron said as he marched away. "We've got to get this back to the school."
It took Wade a couple seconds to regain his thoughts, but when he did…
"What about Drakken and Shego?" the boy genius asked.
"No time," Ron said without slowing down. "If we don't hurry, Kim will have to go to summer school!"
"Ron, what would Kim do?"
The blonde was halted in his tracks as Wade had trumped his previous points. Ron knew exactly what his girlfriend would expect of him.
"She'd save the world," he conceded before marching back towards the field of battle. "Why do we always have to do the right thing?"
--
Dr. Drakken delicately balanced the last piece of scientific junk on the back of the flying car. The over stacked tower of goods wobbled, but held. With a final pull of rope that had no chance of holding down its load once they got underway, the evil genius wrung his hands in satisfaction. Turning, he found an extremely irate Shego covered head to two in filth – hair frazzled – marching towards him.
"Don't even ask," she swore through her teeth as she made her way to the vehicle. Drakken did his best to contain his laughter as he did the same before a familiar voice stopped them in their tracks.
"Stop right there!" Ron demanded as he stepped out in the open confidently pointing at them.
"Yeah!" Rufus agreed on his owner's shoulder. The two villains looked more annoyed than scared at yet another intrusion by the sidekick extraordinaire.
"Forget it, sidekick! You and what army are going to stop me!" Drakken retorted.
Right on cue, Roachie joined Ron and Rufus and shouted a series of squeaks and clicks. The ground began to rumble as pieces of trash and debris shook from the top of the three mountains of garbage that surrounded Drakken, Shego, and their flying car. Appearing over the crest of each rotting hill, scores upon scores of giant cockroaches all much larger than Roachie appeared like a cavalry ready to attack.
"His giant mutant cockroach army," Shego grumbled. "You had to ask, didn't you?"
Another series of clicks from Roachie sent the 'army' charging down the slopes towards the now hapless bad guys. The force of the shaking was so great, Drakken's pile of pilfered equipment fell apart stopping both him and his sidekick from escaping in their vehicle of choice before it was trampled under the mutant bugs' legs. With no alternative, the two began to run only to be flipped on top of the stampede like crowd surfers at a concert. Ron scooped Roachie from the ground as the Wadebot's extended arms grabbed him and pulled him up above the fracas. As high-fives and handshakes were passed around on the back of the Wadebot, all four allies turned to watch their foes being carried off by Roachie's comrades.
"You will never see a stranger sight," Ron said with all the authority of someone who could make such a statement.
--
At 2:58pm, the office doors to Middleton High School were kicked open by a young woman who bore a striking resemblance to Kim Possible. That is, of course, if she had mutated into some sort of enraged vengeful zombie. Behind her, she dragged an overstuffed duffle bag – loose papers escaping out of the top and leaving a trail. With an enormous heave, the girl flung the bag onto the office counter.
"FINISHED!" she declared as she took massive deep breathes behind a look of righteous determination.
Mr. Barkin, Gladys, Ron, and Rufus all stared back at her in disbelief both sides trying to figure out how to proceed. It was Kim who broke first.
"Ron," the redhead said as she relaxed into confusion. "Why are you here and why are you in mission clothes?"
Ron didn't know where to begin so Mr. Barkin started for him.
"It seems your 'boyfriend'…," Barkin said still not a complete believer himself. "…found your grade sheet so it looks like we won't be needing all that new work you did."
Ron left the computer station and walked over to Kim who was on her third full emotion in less than two minutes – outright shock.
"And what's even better is you made honor role again, K.P.!" he said as he stopped next to her. Though his clothes and face were thoroughly soiled and he smelled a bit ripe, he placed himself in a position for an expectant 'thank you' kiss.
"That's great," Kim said in monotone. "Can't wait to tell my parents…"
With that, the worn out teen hero let her eyes roll back and her knees gave out. Kim fainted backwards succumbing to the exhaustion. Ron quickly caught her and lowered her gently to the ground.
"Kim! K.P.!" he said in a panic kneeling over her. Rufus jumped down and began trying to fan her back to consciousness. Their efforts and concerns went out the window, however, as Kim's mouth cracked open and she began to snore.
RIIIIIIIIIIIING! The final bell sounded dismissing the school for summer vacation
"Booyah! In your face!" Ron shouted as he leaped to his feet and pointed at Mr. Barkin.
"In my what?" the educator responded with agitation at Ron's brazen statement.
"You forgot to punish me for the Pop-cheese incident before the school year ended and now I'm in the clear!" Ron boldly said.
"Stoppable," Mr. Barkin said as he made his way over to the student and got directly in his face. "Check your sources a little better next time. Punishments can, and in your case will, carry over to the following year. Keep that in mind while you're enjoying the summer. It may be your last…"
The emotional shock of this bad news coupled with the rest of the stress from the week overwhelmed the poor sidekick as he joined his girlfriend on the office floor in a mass of nerves. Mr. Barkin stood up and straightened his tie in satisfaction. The truth was he had no intention of dolling out any sort of traditional disciplinary action. Keeping the threat of something big over Stoppable's head was more than the former military man would ever need.
Looking down at the now stricken Team Possible lying at his feet, he had another revelation: he had succeeded where super villains and impossible odds had failed; the educator had brought the duo to their knees. The idea brought a smirk to his face and for a brief instant, the thought of world domination crossed his mind. But as he headed out to the hall to make sure the students remained civil in their exit of the building, he decided that educating and keeping high school students in line was far more challenging…
Kim sat at a lonely table in the library during her study hall hours frantically trying to finish as much homework as she could. Kim's homework sitch had become the buzz of the school in the final week as everyone took sides and placed bets on whether or not she could finish. As it stood now, the odds were 6 to 1 against.
In an adjacent aisle, Ron thumbed along a row of books before finding the title, Public Relations and You, he had been looking for. Pulling it off the shelf, he began to flip through it oblivious to Monique approaching him from behind.
"How's your girlfriend doing?" the future fashion designer asked slyly. Ron spun around in surprise and agitation.
"I AM NOT DEFENSIVE!" he shouted drawing several annoyed looks from the other students. Thankfully, Ms. Hatchet was out of earshot in the back room. Monique giggled at his response – her new favorite game was ribbing Ron about his and Kim's relationship change. Noticing the title of the book he had, she snatched it out of his hands for a closer look.
"I see we're working the public relations front after blowing up that top-secret lab," Monique said waiving the book in Ron's face.
"Ah, man! You heard about that?" Ron asked rhetorically.
"Image control is key," Kim's best girl friend quoted from the book before handing the book back to Ron. "Especially if you go after a third lab this week."
Monique followed Ron as he made his way to the circulation desk. Once there, they both looked at Kim with sympathy.
"Do me a favor," Monique began. "Tell baby-girl to get some sleep."
"One step ahead of you, Monique," replied Ron in an almost secretive tone.
"What do you mean?"
"I taught her a little trick I know," the blonde said rubbing his fingernails against his chest and giving them an ever-so-suave blow. Monique quickly figured out what little trick he was talking about and was horrified.
"Oh no! Not the legendary Ron Stoppable Eyes Open but Still Asleep in Class Technique!" she said with panic.
"The student has become the master," Ron said with a polite Asian style bow.
"Ron! This is bad!" the black haired beauty said as she grabbed him by the shoulders. Her concern finally spread to Ron.
"How bad?" he asked now fearing he had screwed up somehow.
"Very bad. Do you know why I sleep in a separate room when Kim and I have a sleep over?"
--
Kim's English teacher stood in front of the chalkboard diagramming a sentence in review for the final test. The other students marveled at the redheaded cheerleader's ability to stay bright eyed and focused on the lecture under such an enormous burden as hers. That is until her jaw dropped open and a rather obnoxious snore interrupted the lesson…