----Part 4: Okonomiyaki of Love! Okonomiyaki of Doom!----
The Tendo dojo shook with the might battle going on. The two Amazons that were opposing each other would shred any lesser being to shreds if they'd found themselves in the middle. Lotion's fist connected solidly with Shampoo's chin, and the purple-haired girl staggered back. She immediately went into a leg swipe, but Lotion jumped over it. Her swiping foot to its starting position, Shampoo launched herself forward, slamming her elbow in Lotion's stomach. The brunette grunted with the pain, landed and took a step back, immediately blocking and parrying several of Shampoo's punches.
The audience was enraptured. The Tendo family and their three guests, as well as Mousse, and several of the Tendo Dojo paying students. The match, battle really, had been raging for ten minutes, almost equal. But to the trained viewer, they would notice that Lotion was just a little stronger than Shampoo; a little faster, a little more versatility. Even with the last weeks heavy training, the year of lounging about and losing battle rhythm had cost Shampoo just too much, unlike Lotion who never once quit. Both Amazons had bloody faces, their clothes were ripped, and they were breathing heavily.
Shampoo charged forward, "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire!" Her hands were blurs, but Lotion exclaimed the same thing and her hands turned to blurs as well, thus parrying and blocking all of Shampoo's blows. The moment the technique finished, their hands slowed once again, and Lotion parried Shampoo's following punches, pushing her hands aside, and slamming both of hers into Shampoo's stomach. Shampoo staggered backward, groaning and moaning with the impact.
"Yaah!" Lotion exclaimed as she made a mighty follow up left to Shampoo's face. The purple-haired Amazon though managed to duck and slam her own fist in Lotion's side with a vicious grimace. Lotion groaned and staggered back.
"Bitch, go down!" Shampoo stated with conviction and kicked Lotion to the side of her face. Shampoo didn't let up, and added a left of her own, but Lotion had recovered and parried the punch. Lotion threw her own right to Shampoo's abdomen, but she blocked it. Lotion in turned blocked Shampoo's knee, and then her two punches, so she could land her right on Shampoo's face. It phased the purple-haired Amazon, but no enough, and so the two went head to head in another even trading of blows and kicks that were either parried or blocked.
Lotion let a punch to her stomach pass deliberately and bent over deeply, partially of pain, partially acted. Shampoo raised two hands into a double-handed blow, and brought them down mightily. As unexpected as Lotion planned it, she shot up and blocked the blow, so that she could kick out powerfully into Shampoo's stomach. "Aargh!" Shampoo screamed with the unexpected and powerful impact. She flew backward and landed on her back.
Lotion breathed heavily, and wiped some blood from her lips. When Shampoo had demonstrated the Chestnuts before their match began, Lotion had fallen for the psychological warfare. She had assumed her newfound superior strength and skill to the other one had removed, and Shampoo was already once again clearly the best. However, when Xander had come along to watch the match, and gave her nod, she had gotten fueled with a quickly restored self-esteem as well as a determination not to fail her boyfriend - for after all, with that nod, he had told her she could still beat Shampoo and expected her to do so. But more than not failing and impressing her boyfriend, was Shampoo. Lotion was /not/ going to lose to her again, not today at least, and never so long unbroken and totally superior ever again. Shampoo was going down.
Ever since this fight started, Lotion knew she didn't have to worry about the outcome; although the two of them were all but equal, that butt was hers, steadily she was wearing the still struggling got get up Shampoo down. There was just one problem; this had gone on long enough, she was hurt enough, and Shampoo seemed even more determined not to lose, than Lotion was to win; and with that almost equal, and equally trained, this was going to take a long time. Lotion was looking forward to kicking Shampoo's ass, but not to get her own ass kicked in the process; she needed a way to down Shampoo quickly; but how if they were so equal?
She flickered her eyes to Xander for a moment, her heart beating in her chest both of exhaustion and the love for him. Her body ached, and then she figured it out. Like Xander and Ranma too, she had stop fighting like an Amazon, always the same. She had to change, do the totally unexpected. Shampoo was back up, and normally this would be where Lotion would have slowed down to catch her breath, as Shampoo was doing. So she would do the exact opposite.
"YAAAAAHH!" she screamed, as she charged the other Amazon. Her right fist charged forward, and as expected Shampoo easily dodge the long announced punch. Shampoo came with her own punch to Lotion's gut; as expected. Lotion twisted rapidly, just in time to block the right punch with her left. She continued with the twisted, making a 180 degree turn from when she started her charge. Shampoo's left cross came, and Lotion flipped back, making the punch fly over her. She landed on her hands and moved her feet sharply up. Shampoo avoided it by bending back, which allowed Lotion to finish the flip. The moment she landed on her feet, she took one stepped forward, and jumped up high, directly to the ceiling, then flipping around to land against it with her feet.
"Huh? Where go?" Shampoo said, looking left and right as she was righted once more; Lotion having timed her jump perfectly, not to be seen. The brunette Amazon pushed off powerful from the ceiling in a single smooth motion with landing against it, and flipped back around. Shampoo had turned around, and only then noticed; much too late. With a powerful yell and double kick, one to Shampoo's collar bone, and one to her chin, she was launched backward off her feet. She groaned, then groaned again as she slammed against the wall, and then grunted as she fell down to the floor face fist with a thud; unconscious.
Lotion nodded with satisfaction, bent over, holding her most painful places, and breathing heavily. The audience was stunned, except Ranma and Xander that was. The present Tendo's paying students were dumbfounded the most; if that was something that could be done, they were far, far, far from able to do it. Akane grumbled, knowing she wasn't anywhere near the Amazons' level now, and questioned whether she should go there, or just stick with what she was doing.
Ranma and Xander were the first who started clapping, and quickly the rest of the audience followed, many still dumbfounded. That was, except one: Mousse. He stayed silent, and then raised his arms to shoot out his weapons, exclaimed, "You hurt my beautiful Shampoo."
Ranma standing next to him, slammed his elbow in Mousse's gut, doubling over. "That was a fair match, #asswipe#!" he exclaimed, and sent the boy flying away a few meters with an uppercut, landing unconscious on the Tendo Dojo floor.
"All right, Ranma, first proper use of an American abusive term!" Xander said with a big grin, raising his hand. "High five." Humoring the American, and secretly enjoying it, Ranma gave Xander the double handed high five. "Low five," Xander said and Ranma brought his hands down. "Too slow," Xander said as he pulled them aside. Ranma looked shocked, and then extremely annoyed while the audience looked at their ridiculous exchange. Seeing Ranma's dirty look Xander laughed out loud, holding his stomach, "Man, I've always wanted to do that!"
"You're asking for a beating, Xan," Ranma told him, obviously pissed off.
Xander chuckled, a bright grin on his face and walked over to Lotion, while Tendo went over to Shampoo. "You okay, Lotion?" Xander asked gently.
Getting her breathing back under control, Lotion nodded, and said, "Xander, now that I'm stronger than Shampoo, I want to stay that way. You and I have to keep training, heavily."
"Of course; wouldn't want it any other way," Xander said with a grin. "You and Buffy are my best sparring partners after all."
-----
Kuonji Ukyo, one of Ranma's oldest friends and love interest, was walking along the many shops of Tokyo. She was looking for ingredients. She was going to make a whole new flavor of okonomiyaki, in fact, if she was truly successful, it might not even be called okonomiyaki. For that she was scouring the shops for new, or exotic ingredients. In her mind, she was already letting Ranma taste her masterpiece. 'Oh, Ukyo! The way to a man's love is through his stomach; and you opened a route I didn't even knew existed! What deliciousness!' Walking along with a light blush on her face as she was imagining Ranma kissing her, fondling her, and well, what do healthy, hormonal teenagers think about?
She paused. Then turned to her right to look at the antique-looking shop. She had caught it in the corner of her eye. She blinked. Did she really see that right? She walked over, closer to the quaint shop and looked at a few of the vials on display. One proudly proclaimed, 'Love Potion #9'.
For a moment Ukyo hesitated; it seemed so impossible and corny. -Then again,- her mind supplied, -Ranma turns into a girl by a splash of water. So, who knows?- Thus having decided, she stepped into the shop, and looked around. It was filled with all kinds of things; feathers, pottery, more vials, both empty and filled with potions, roots . . . and one rack of toy guns. Ukyo shook her head at that, and realized she had just stepped into a shop that had just about anything of the occult, or obscure. The place was narrow, and the middle isle could hold no more than three people next to each other. There was a counter, and an old man stood behind it.
"Uhm, hello," she asked, a little nervously - she had stepped in here for a love potion.
"At your service, my dear," the man behind the counter replied friendly.
"I was wondering . . ." Ukyo started and pointed with her thumb over her shoulder, "about the love potion? If that's number nine, how many are there?"
"Thirteen, of course, although we don't carry them all at this time," the man answered with a casual air of confidence.
". . . why of course?" Ukyo asked a little nervous.
"Lucky number thirteen, love is all about luck, after all," the man said with a mysterious smile, eyes twinkling.
"Okay, I was - am - interested in a love potion," Ukyo told the main, feeling like a gullible dork, but there was no denying magic existed, so . . .
"What do you want to use it for?" the man asked, smiling that playful smile of his.
Ukyo frowned in confusion, and asked, "What do you mean?"
"Why do you think there are different love potions? Each has its own function," the man spoke with a smile. He walked from behind the counter and over to a large rack. He pulled a vial from it, carrying the same label she saw earlier, 'Love Potion #9'. "Number nine for example, is really a perfume, and it's pheromone based. As such, it's less a love potion, as it is a lust inducer. If you are interested in a quick romp in bed for a night, number nine is your poison."
"Oh," Ukyo said, thinking.
"Then the question is, what do you need a love potion for?" the salesman asked her, eyes twinkling.
Ukyo was undecided. On the one hand, it wasn't good what she was thinking of, on the other, she was so in love with him, and she was reasonably certain Ranma had at least a passing attraction to her . . . That was it! Ukyo straightened, and said, "I don't want a fake love. The one I'm interested in . . . he's got multiple suitors, and he has some attraction to me. I just want something that temporarily, a month or so, boosts his attraction to me in a near love, and doesn't notice the others. Put blinders on him so to speak, give me enough time to show myself, so he can truly fall in love with me."
"Ah, a wise one in my midst," the old man nodded with a proud smile. "Not many realize the folly of a love potion; the violation of the mind and heart, love that is not, that is a lie. Number 5 is what you need." The old man placed Number 9 back in the closet, and then carefully retrieved another vial, holding the words, 'Love Potion #5'.
The man then walked back to the other side of the counter, with Ukyo's gaze - a mixture of curiosity, apprehension, and wonder - following him. He set the bottle down, with its etiquette towards Ukyo. "Now, this is both the weakest, and the strongest love potion," the man explained carefully, making Ukyo frown in confusion. "And you should pay close attention to what I have to say." Ukyo nodded. "The problem with taking a potential true love, is that it is the most powerful love. If your target has none, this simply causes a standard attraction, a little crush, if you will, but should your target have much, the results will be that much greater. In the proper dose, it lasts two months, and the effect is mild, just like you wanted: put on some blinders. Too much however will boost even minimum attractions to very high levels, and gives love to those who have none. The potion works so, that it will have the effect with the first person the target sees; the first person that is of the proper gender to be exact. Should he see someone else, it is her that he'll be chasing, unless he's secretly gay, than it's the first male he'll get a thing for."
"I can mix this through food?" Ukyo asked, now a more than a little excited.
"Yes," the salesman answered, and pulled out a small paper with text printed on it. "Here it says the dosages per volume of food, type of food, and size of the target."
"How much?" Ukyo asked, and the old man smiled brightly.
-----
Xander, Ranma, and Akane were walking casually along the pavement. The street was busy with people, even at this early hour. Akane was obviously excited. "This is so great," she said happily. "We're going shopping together. I can't believe it." Secretly she was thinking boyfriends and girlfriends did that; meaning Ranma and her, and Xander and Lotion, who was going to meet them there. The motel her and her mother were staying in was much closer to the shops, and so Lotion had decided not to walk all the way to the Tendo dojo first, especially since she was still aching from her big fight with Shampoo.
Ranma looked down, scowling, wondering how in blazes he had gotten roped into this horror. Xander, much more used to girls and playing pack mule for them, was both in a worse mood and a better mood all at the same time. On the one hand, he knew what to expect, on the other, he was used to it. He just hoped Lotion wasn't as bad as Buffy, and Cordelia, and Willow these days too he supposed - nah, Willow was still in the land of the sane - and actually bothered with keeping the number of boxes down, as well as pick something so perhaps he could go souvenir hunting; including some returning-home gifts for Buffy and Willow, and some smaller tokens of affection for Cordelia, Oz, Joyce, Giles, and Jenny. He wondered if they like the cards he sent.
-Oh, yeah!- Now Ranma remembered. 'I need to buy some souvenirs for myself, and some gifts for my friends, and family. You can help me out, Ranma.' Baka, Xander! He had agreed, and from there things had gone down hill fast. First Lotion joined, and then that uncute tomboy, Akane, had to join too. Right now he wished he had never met Xan-
". . . and then we can hit the Caretta Siodome, and . . ." Akane happily rambled on, completely missing both boys having stopped. Xander and Ranma smelled the air, and smiles appeared on their faces. They turned to their right, and it was indeed the place their internal sense of space said they would see: Okonomiyaki Ucchan's. Their sense of smell was attacked in the most unfair and pleasant of means. Ranma, knowing all of Ukyo's okonomiyaki, knew she was trying out a new recipe, and from the smell it was going to be a hit: a /huge/ hit, it smelled like the nectar of the gods! ". . . or perhaps instead we should go to- . . ." Akane blinked, finally realizing her entourage was no longer present. She looked left and right, and indeed as her other senses had told her, no more Ranma and Xander.
She turned around, a little confused, and curious as to what had happened. She couldn't have missed one of Ranma's, and now apparently Xander's rivals attacking the two, could she? Nope. There they were, standing there . . . drooling? Then she realized what they were standing in front of. Those! Those!
"But first, food!" Ranma stated rapidly, already stepping toward the entrance.
"Yep, can't go shopping on an empty stomach," Xander confirmed, and without a further thought they entered the okonomiyaki restaurant.
Akane remained outside for a short while longer, looking shocked at the places Xander and Ranma had just stood. They'd had breakfast! They didn't have an empty stomach! Then her fists clenched, and she growled lowly, anger rising by the moment, "Those baka! Idiots! Sons of bitches! They ruined it!" Then she stomped in after them.
"Welcome to Okonomiyaki Ucchan's! Ranma!" Ukyo greeted with a big smile. "And Xander," she said with a little less enthusiasm.
"Ucchan!" Ranma said happily, as he and his friend walked over to the counter. "What smells so nice?"
"A new recipe I'm trying out!" Ukyo returned with a big smile, noticing a steamed Akane coming in after the boys. "If it tastes as good as I expect and smell it will, I'll call it, Okonomiyaki of Love! Want to be the first try it?" Secretly she thought, -And this first one I'm baking now, I will make an extra special one, you're right on time.-
"Oh, yes!" Xander and Ranma said in unison, happily nodding, and smelling the air.
"Good!" Ukyo said, and whistling she turned around to her baking plates. She opened a cabinet, and pulled out Love Potion #5. Looking down at the Japanese pizza she was baking, she dropped a few drops of the potion on it. She hesitated a moment. She had read the dosages, the warnings, and remembered the warning of the old man; but she was a master chef, she understood food and ingredients, and some of what she used wasn't on the sheet. Thus, she poured some extra potion; it was just a bit, only a fraction of the total dose really. This should make sure it worked, but not enough to produce the annoying super boosted effects. She smiled at her creation, carefully putting the potion away. This was going to be it. Ranma would fall for her, she'd have time to impress him properly, and once the potion wore off, they'd be in love for real. Ranma would be hers, and she would be his!
Then a shrill voice interrupted the happy thought. "I can't believe you two! Lotion is waiting, we're going to be late, and we won't have the time to properly go everywhere!" Akane shrieked in anger, articulating all valid reasons, but as usual, not voicing the real reason she was upset. Ranma had chosen Ukyo and her cooking above her - again!
Ukyo turned around annoyed, and took in the scene, the short-haired girl barking her accusations upon Ranma and Xander from the left. The two boys were obviously annoyed. After a sigh, it was Xander that spoke up, "Akane, you need to calm down. We're just getting a bit too eat. A little something for the road. We'll be done in no time, and we're early anyway, If we're going to turn up late, it'll be so little Lotion won't even notice it."
"YOU'VE ALREADY HAD BREAKFAST!" Akane shouted in anger, "You don't need to eat anything more."
Ranma turned his head to his right, and said dryly, "You are so uncute." Akane's anger became worse, just about ready to steam, her hands clenched in fists.
This was potentially bad, Ukyo realized. Akane was pretty close, it was the first person Ranma would see that he would fall for. She decided to remedy that, "Ranma's right, let the boys have an extra breakfast. With the way they eat, they'll be done in no time." Ranma and Xander blushed a little at that.
"YOU STAY OUT OF IT, YOU CONNIVING BITCH!" Akane screamed enraged, readying to hack back into the boys.
Ukyo added unperturbed, "If you were cute, you'd plant yourself next to them, and enjoy one for yourself. But no, just barking about around like an untrained dog."
"AAARGH! You're all a bunch of barbarians!" Akane screamed enraged, but also realized there wasn't much to be done. Still steamed, and bursting to explode, she turned around, and angrily stalked away to one of the tables; undecided whether to step outside completely or not.
Satisfied that Akane was far enough out of the picture, Ukyo turned around, and took the now finished okonomiyaki off the baking plate, and placed it on a serving one. "Here it is, Ranma," Ukyo said with a triumphant grin - a new delicious creation /and/ Ranma to be hers at the same time. "Savor it, it'll be delicious," Ukyo said, placing the plate with the okonomiyaki in front of Ranma, smiling broadly. She cut it in several slices with a circular knife, and said, "Dig in. Yours is coming up, Xander." Ukyo turned around, and happily went to prepare the second okonomiyaki, secure in the knowledge that Ranma would eat her creation and be looking at her at the same time.
Ranma salivated at the sight, and took a slice, then watched with wide eyes as Xander's hand came in the picture and took a slice for himself. "You can have one of mine later," Xander told Ranma with a grin, who then smiled back. Ukyo, whistling a jaunty tune, and focused on the baking, while preoccupied by fantasies of her and Ranma's wedding . . . and wedding night. Xander wasted no time, and took a large bite. Chewing he looked forward, at Ukyo's back, enjoying the sight. He swallowed, as Ranma shook his head, and prepared to take a bit of his own.
Meanwhile, Akane's anger had only been growing; like a caged animal, unable to release her frustrations, she had been pacing back and forth. Finally she saw a vase on the tables, one with a flower - a real flower and water . . . cold water. Fuming, knowing how much Ranma hated being a girl, she picked up the vase, and walked back to the front, then threw the water. "Ranma-baka!" she screamed.
Too bad for Akane, Ranma had gotten used to being sprayed by her as retaliation, and having half expected it, along with the vocal warning, his reflexes kicked in, and he jumped off the stool to his right, stumbling half over the stool there. Missing Ranma, the water instead splashed on Xander, mesmerized by the girl in front of him. "Hey!" he started to yell, and Lexa finished it, jumping up with surprise and dumping the okonomiyaki. "What the hell?" Lexa said, her sexy body straining in the tight blouse, while her pants were now a little loose.
For a moment Akane wanted to apologize to Lexa, the girl she didn't intend to hit, but then remembered he was just as bad. Akane focused on Ranma, and walked over. "Food and girls! Food and girls!" Akane screamed in annoyance, now really attracting Ukyo's attention. The cook looked on, frozen in horror at the train wreck about to happen. Lexa herself, looked at Akane and Ranma, chewing onward on her second bite. "That's all you boys can think about!" Akane snarled, and snatched Ranma's slice away from him. She held the slice up, snarling at him, "SEE! You're not getting this one!"
Akane brought the slice to her mouth, and took a bite. "No! Akane! Don't!" Ukyo yelled in horror, drawing the other girl's attention to her, but Akane just glared at Ukyo and continued eating.
Lexa swallowed her bite, as Ranma sighed, and muttered, "Akane, you are /so/ uncute!" Lexa frowned at Ranma, and got up off her stool, while Ukyo could only wonder what would happen now. Lexa walked over, pushing Akane aside, and looking at Ranma with widening eyes, a smile forming.
"Hey! You bastard!" Akane snarled, and stuffed the remainder of the slice in her mouth. Chewing angrily, she walked over, intending to smash the vase on Lexa's head. Instead the martial arts mistress just swatted the vase up and away, crashing through the flimsy ceiling. Surprisingly there was a yell, and a small guy came falling from the place, smashing on Akane and the two went down.
"Ranma," Lexa said, with just a hint of a purr as she took Ranma in top to bottom.
"What?" the other martial artist said, but focused on Akane and now obviously Sasuke. What the hell was that stupid ninja doing here now?
"Mmh, why didn't I see it sooner. I must have been hit too hard on the head," Lexa said, and gently licked her lips.
Ranma did a double take, and focused on his best friend. "What?" he repeated, with more force and focus now, frowning in confusion.
"Ranma, you and I are meant for each other, rrarr," Lexa said, the lust and love now extremely obvious. A moment later she pinned Ranma to the wall behind him, and planted her lips hungrily on Ranma's, kissing him, her tongue against his. Ranma's eyes were wide, shocked, horrified!
Then his arms grabbed Lexa's and he pushed her aside, and he said in horror, "Have you lost your mind? You're a guy!"
"Oh, no, all woman here, hot stuff," Lexa said, taking a step forward, swaying her hips, and running her hands along her very feminine curves, "and I just found it." She pushed Ranma back to the wall, pressing her body hungrily against his.
"AAAH!" Ranma screamed, pushing back, and Lexa's kissing lips away from his face. This time Lexa wasn't so easily deterred, and Ranma yelled, "Stop it, you freak!"
"Don't fight it, Ranma. The way we met, this was destiny, handsome," Lexa said, positively breathing heavily with arousal. "You and me were made for each other. Now, kiss me, baby, you know you want to."
"I DON'T! YOU'RE NUTS!" Ranma screamed terrified, not quite ready to start kicking ass yet.
Ukyo was looking in shock. On the ground Akane purred, "Oh, Sasuke!" Then she dipped down and kissed the little ninja hungrily. Sasuke looked frightened, shaking his hands, expecting to get his ass kicked as usual, and then . . . this wasn't so bad. With a secret grin he kissed the hot girl back - not bad at all.
"Xander! Get off, or I swear I'll put you in a hospital! HELP! I'm being assaulted! Get him off of me!" Ranma screamed in horror.
Ukyo then realized what happened. The slight overdose! "Oh, no!" Ukyo muttered; it seemed the overdose effects were even worse than she had figured from the warning.
"Ukyo! Please, get this bastard off me! Xander, this is your last damn warning. AAAAAHHH!"
"Don't be afraid, my handsome. My god, I love you!" Lexa said with a purr.
'. . . right gender . . .' Ukyo remembered the salesmen say. Ukyo's eyes widened and she quickly grabbed a glass, and filled it with the always present hot dish-washing water. Rapidly she went over the struggling Ranma, who was still screaming, while Lexa was trying to kiss him. She quickly splashed it on Lexa, and a moment later there was Xander.
"Oh, Ra- . . . ugh," Xander said, shaking his head to clear it. He wobbled and took a step back, as two types of magic clashed inside him. "Ranma? What the . . .? Why was I- . . ."
Ranma had his fist balled, ready to slam in Lexa or Xander's face, but hesitated now at the weird turn of events. "Xander?" he asked with suspicion.
"What just happened? Why the hell was I kissing you and thinking . . ." Xander looked suitably horrified. He was bisexual, indeed, but this was his best male friend, the guy who had taught him he wasn't a useless smuck. He loved the guy, but /not/ like that. The concept was just wrong.
There was a sob, and Ukyo whimpered, "I'm sorry."
Xander and Ranma looked over, still confused, as on the floor Sasuke, unlike Ranma, was enjoying his assault. Xander's eyes widened as he looked at Ukyo, and then smiled. "Ukyo . . ." he breathed out, and took several steps forward, looking the girl over. "My god, are you beautiful."
Ukyo's whimpers were gone, replaced with a comical look of shock! This nightmare was getting worse by the moment. Xander stepped forward, and to Ranma's mounting confusion, kissed his childhood friend with a vigorous passion.
"Oh, Sasuke!" Akane moaned, drawing Ranma's attention, while Xander couldn't be beaten off of Ukyo.
"Sasuke!" Ranma growled, certain the guy or his employer must have something to do with this. Ranma stalked forward, but suddenly found an angry Akane standing in front of him, holding Sasuke to her bosom.
"Don't you dare, Ranma! You could have had me! Now it's too late, I found the man of my dreams!" Akane stated, and resumed kissing him.
"AAAH!" Ranma exclaimed in horror, "This is so wrong . . . I-"
"Xander!" Ranma looked up, as did Xander and Ukyo. Lotion stood in the doorway, her face between anger and pain. She walked forward, passed the other loving couple, and Ranma looked from Lotion to Xander and Ukyo.
"Oh, boy," she muttered, as Ukyo felt a whole new set of anguish, seeing the pain in her fellow girl's eyes.
"Xander, how- how could you?" Lotion said, gesturing to him and Ukyo. "I-I can't do this. Competing with those rightful two, okay - but every other girl in the world?"
"Nothing too compete, Lotion, look at her, my decision is made," Xander said, hotly, hugging Ukyo close. "Ukyo will be my wife and mother of my children."
Lotion's world crumbled apart; her honor gone, worse: her love gone. "Wait!" Ukyo said in horror, knowing what that felt like. "Lotion, this isn't what it-"
"Bitch!" Lotion screamed in anger.
"No, let me-!" Ukyo tried again, but Lotion grabbed the plate with the Okonomiyaki of Love, and angrily tossed it in Xander and Ukyo's general direction, but much too high. It splintered against the wall, and the okonomiyaki slowly slid down along it. Before that though, Lotion had already turned around, and crying ran out of the shop.
Ranma looked around at the nightmare, and what Ukyo had been attempting to say earlier and just now with Lotion. Realizing his earlier assumption that Sasuke was the culprit was wrong, he turned to Ukyo and said with disappointment, "Ukyo, what did you do?"
"I'm sorry," Ukyo whimpered, accepting Xander's hugging and kisses - she was at fault, and if she had to be uncomfortable so Ranma's best friend wouldn't be trying to marry him, that was fine. "I found a love potion. It was supposed to put some blinders on you, focus on me, give me time to show you how good I am, and that you would fall in love with me for real . . . I used more than the prescribed dose."
"Ukyo!" Ranma said angrily, making Ukyo shrink a little. "Please, tell me this isn't permanent."
"Two months," Ukyo answered, while Xander nuzzled her neck - and damn it, he was good at that!
"TWO MONTHS?" Ranma raged in shock, making Ukyo look very apologetic. "Two months! Xander is supposed to be back in Sunnydale long before that!"
"Screw Sunnydale, if my beautiful Ukyo wishes to stay here, so shall I," Xander said, and looked at the whimpering girl. "Don't worry, my sweet, I will make it all better."
"/Not/helping/Xander," Ranma hissed uselessly. "All right, we have to find an antidote, I can't let my best bud stay like that."
"I think we'll be going now," Sasuke said, and gestured for Akane to follow her. The girl smiled, nodded and started to leave.
"-Oh, no, you don't,-" Ranma said with deadly authority, rapidly moving over and picking up the little ninja.
"Ranma! Don't hurt my beloved!" Akane screamed in sudden anger.
"Don't worry, I won't . . ." Ranma told her rapidly, while walking forward and placing Sasuke painfully against the wall. ". . . yet," he finished with a dangerous hiss. The ninja swallowed as Ranma placed his head close to Sasuke and whispered with wide, angry eyes bordering on madness, "You're going to get Akane to come with us, and get her to drink that antidote, or I will hurt you. Real hurt, not a simple punch, I mean recover-in-a-hospital-for-months-hurt. Understand?"
Sasuke nodded his head, and whimpered, "Help antidote, no hurting."
Ranma then backed off. "If you hurt him, Ranma . . ." Akane warned behind him.
"I'm not hurt!" Sasuke said quickly, for fear of Ranma deciding to give him the hurt after all. Akane glared at her fiance anyway.
"First, we destroy this Okonomiyaki of Doom," Ranma said with frustration, "Cologne, or Doctor Tofu might know an antidote."
"We should find Lotion first," Ukyo said with a pout, letting Xander do his nuzzling and assuring her with sweet nothings. "We can't let her think this is the real Xander; that'd be just cruel."
-----
Meanwhile, a little further down the road Lotion slowed down from her running, tears still in her eyes. Disgusted with how things had turned out. She wished she had seen Ukyo put the move on Xander and kill her for it; she just couldn't figure out when and where the skank had done it. Looking down in defeat, she noticed her left hand, still dirty from when she had picked up and thrown the okonomiyaki. Looking around she could find no place to clean it, and so with an angry growl she resigned to licking her rivals creation off of her hand.
A bit further on, a white-robed guy was looking for her. He spotted her, and called with an evil grin, "Lotion!" Lotion looked up at the call just as she licked up the last of the food, and noticed Mousse standing there with an angry look. He added, "For beating me twice, but worse hurting my precious Shampoo, I shall make you pay! Now, pre-"
"Mousse," Lotion said, a smile forming. What had she been thinking. She surged forward, surprising the boy who was about to attack. "Nihau, Mousse!" Lotion called and jumped forward, slamming into Mousse and wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing her breasts into his chest. His eyes widened in surprise, and then found Lotion's soft lips pressed against his own, and a steamy tongue kiss followed. "Mousse," Lotion breathed out as she broke the kiss, and then pressed her head against his shoulder and neck. She sighed in satisfaction and said, "You amazing hunk, where have you been all my life?"
Mousse was still looking forward, shocked, trying to make sense of the situation. Then he put his head back and shouted to the sky, "THE WRONG AMAZON! WHY ME!"
-----
Sunnydale
Buffy and Willow were lying on their sides on Buffy's bed, smiling at each other. They moved their heads closer and give each other a quick, chaste, but passionate kiss on the lips. "You are so beautiful," Buffy murmured, and put her hand on Willow's side, slowly letting it move up. Willow held her breath, and then Buffy's right hand cupped her left breast, and Buffy gently squeezed it, feeling about, massaging it. "You're not wearing a bra," Buffy said breathlessly. Willow moaned just a bit, and nodded. The flimsy, tight, pink shirt didn't keep much off the feel of Buffy's hands on her breast away. Buffy tested the sensation of feeling the soft lump, against feeling Xander's powerful chest. Both had their appeal, and right now, actually feeling Willow's breast, it won out. Buffy let her eyes move down, as she kept up her gentle massaging, looking Willow short, pleated skirt, and the sexy legs sticking out. They were thinner, and less muscled then her own, which stuck out from under her tight mini-skirt.
Her eyes moved back to Willow's lovely grey ones, as she felt Willow's hand on her breast. Willow seemed much more sure of herself - no wonder since she experience with Xander's female alter ego, Buffy thought. It was nice, feeling Willow's strong fingers squeeze her breast, letting it move upward, taking special care to stimulate her nipple, and then moved back to the base. Buffy's breathing got a little heavier, and she let out a little grunt.
"You like that?" Willow asked gently, felt Buffy imitate the motion, and smile settling her body into Buffy's ministrations.
Buffy felt herself grow aroused rapidly, and said, "I like your breasts, I love kissing your lips, and your ass in leather is heavenly."
Willow wiggled a little closer to Buffy, and she felt herself grow moist inside, she said with a smile, "I love your breasts, your legs are divine, and your ass is just as heavenly as mine."
(NC-17 Snipped - see homepage.)
-----
Nerima
"Damn it!" Ranma cursed, looking around the street. No Lotion anywhere. The street was relatively busy, and the shows had plenty of clientele though. Then he looked at the smiling Sasuke being held and hugged by Akane and Ranma only grew more pissed. Then his gaze settled on Xander totally smitten by the uncomfortable-looking Ukyo, the cause of this mess, and he got even more annoyed. "Ucchan, I think we'll have to face it: we better go look up Cologne and see if she knows an antidote first. Lotion's gone."
"Okay," Ukyo said dejected, hating how much she screwed up Xander and Lotion's budding relationship with her stupid love potion.
"All right then, let's go," Ranma said, and he and his entourage changed course, and set a brisk pace. Ranma's left eye twitched with every mounting frustrations as he heard Akane smooth and say sweet nothings in Sasuke's - -Sasuke's!- - ear. If this had been done by anyone other than Ukyo, he'd be beating them into a pulp, that was for sure.
Thus preoccupied, he completely missed the woman tossing water off a balcony above; the same went for the others. A moment later they were soaked in water and a female Ranma grumbled with annoyance. Lexa swayed, and shook her head, as once again two magics clashed on her being. She disengaged from Ukyo, and then steadied herself, looking at Ranma's back. "Ranma," she said sultry.
"Huh?" Ranma said confused and turned around, then looked at Lexa. The others looked confused at Lexa; after all girls don't like girls.
"You're just as hot a girl as you are a guy, come here hottie!" Lexa exclaimed happily and charged forward.
"No!" Ranma exclaimed as Lexa was on her almost immediately taking her in a tight embrace. Everyone around looked with wide eyes.
"Ooh, baby," Lexa muttered and attempted to plant a kiss on girl-Ranma.
Ranma managed to struggle free, and staggered as he tried to get away. Ukyo and the other two looked in shock as Ranma bolted over a fruit stand, with Lexa in hot pursuit. "HOT WATER! HOT WATER! QUICKLY!"
"Oh, right!" Ukyo said, being the cause of all this, she should be the object of Xander's, Lexa's right now, obsession. She pulled the cannister with warm water for just such an occasion from a pocket and ran after the two.
"Aah!" Ranma screamed in terror as he started climbing up a rain pipe. Ukyo tossed some water forward, but Lexa had just jumped up and grabbed a hold of Ranma.
"Oh, baby, don't run, we're perfect for each other," Lexa moaned with a sly smile.
"HUUURRRYYYY!" Ranma yelled scared as hell.
"I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying," Ukyo replied, splashing some more water; this time upward. It hit Lexa, but not Ranma, and so Lexa turned back into Xander, and let go as the wave of dizziness passed through him. He turned half around, smiled brightly in Ukyo's face and hugged her close.
Shivered with the horror of his best friend trying to ravage, Ranma stayed up against the wall of the building a little while younger. "We so need an antidote, please let there be a antidote," Ranma muttered horrified.
"Want some warm water too, Ranma?" Ukyo asked Xander clinging to her and rubbing against her, as the crowd continued with their business; a few wondering how bad the place had gone down hill if this barely lifted people's eyebrows anymore.
"No, no, we need to keep enough for Xander, keep as much of it," Ranma muttered with relief.
-----
The restaurant of one Cologne was not packed, but it wasn't exactly empty either. The blue-haired, still somewhat bruised from the defeat at the hands of Lotion, was doing the place as a waitress; a tight dress accentuating her curves. Ranma, Xander, and the others entered the place, to Ranma's great hope. Xander was pawing Ukyo, as he had been doing the whole way here, kissing, and talking. Just as bad, was Akane doing the same to the little ninja. With every pressing moment his frustration rose.
"Nihau, Ranma, you finally come ask Shampoo to marry?" Shampoo asked excitedly, coming over to her love interest quickly, letting a few customers wait and caring nothing for them.
Ranma's left eye twitched as Shampoo came to him. The Amazon actually took a step back, at the carefully contained fury visible in the martial artist's eyes. "No," he growled. "Cologne, you old crone, come here!" he added, sounding desperate. He sped over to bar, and Shampoo took a better look at his companions.
Her eyes widened when she saw Akane happily holding Sasuke to her chest, hugging him, and kissing him. She jerked back, physically assaulted by the sight, and yelled out, "YAAAH! What are you thinking?"
The small three-centuries-and-counting old woman appeared from the kitchen, to look over. "She's not thinking, neither is he," Ranma snarled with frustration. "Crone, tell me you have a cure for this!"
"For what, son-in-law?" Cologne asked coolly.
"Ukyo," Ranma demanded, and the girl dejectedly walked over and gave the potion bottle to Ranma. He placed it on the counter.
"Love Potion number 5," Cologne read, and looked at the results. She grinned, and said, "Now why would I want to help you with this? It effectively eliminates both serious rivals for my daughter? It's a powerful potion indeed, two months hence, and who knows, after it wears off, the two months together might have made their love real. It's that powerful, it's designed for that. Especially if they teach each other about pleasure." The gleam in Cologne's eyes was unholy.
"Ooh, pleasure teaching," Sasuke said with a happy smile.
Ranma jerked around and pointed his left index finger at Sasuke, growling, "There shall be no pleasure of any kind, or I swear I will break every bone in your body, pipsqueak!"
"Ranma-baka!" Akane snarled angrily. "Threaten my love again, and /I/ will break the bones in /your/ body."
Some of the customers were getting impatient, and one said, "Uhm, can we get service?"
"-QUIET!-" Ranma snapped off the order in an enraged snarl. The customer back off, swallowing. Ranma turned back to Cologne, and said, "Look at that, woman, that's horrific, not even you can be so cold as to keep Akane attached to that."
"That very bad, great grandmother," Shampoo said with distaste, as Cologne just grinned evilly.
"Well," the ancient woman said, smiling, "I'd be willing to produce the antidote, for a price: marry my great granddaughter, and I shall cure your friends, son-in-law."
"Never," Ranma stated empathically. "Perhaps you should know, old crone, that as a girl, /that potion/ makes Xander in love with me. That is unnatural! Unholy!" Ranma shivered at it, "He will chase me down."
"Hayah! Evil potion!" Shampoo stated empathically.
Xander hated what Ranma said: the thought! He gave Ukyo a kiss on her cheek, making the girl blush with guilt, and embarrassment, and he said, "Don't listen to him, my sweet. He doesn't know what he's talking about. I will love you no matter what."
"I know," Ukyo muttered, and patted Xander on his arm.
Ranma sighed as he heard the exchange. This had to end. This was disgusting.
"And that's my problem, why exactly, son-in-law?" Cologne asked with an evil smile. "I only see one more reason why you should marry my Shampoo."
He took a step closer to the bar and put his eyes right in front of Cologne's. "Because, you evil crone," Ranma told her with intensity, "he's almost as strong as I am. Enough that by cheating, or surprise, he might be able to beat me; drag me off to a church, and find a way to fake me saying 'I do'. Then I won't be married to Shampoo, but to him."
"Hayaah! Great grandmother, think of shame when return to tribe: future husband marry /man/ before me! May never happen!" Shampoo exclaimed, all but screaming the horror of that possibility throughout the restaurant, which made some customers look up from their food, and those who had none look in both annoyance and fright, remembering the guys outburst moments ago.
Cologne's face turned to frustration and looked at the guy, making more kisses and reassurances to her great granddaughter's second rival. That would indeed be too horrifying to contemplate. And it was such a good opportunity too; apart from the boy-girl swap. She should have thought about it herself. Before Shampoo could lay more reasons of horror on her, Cologne said, "There is an antidote. However, to make it, I require an extremely rare flower; the Flower of Despise and Deceit. Lucky for you, one of only three places where it grows, is right here on Mount Fuji." Cologne got a book from under the counter and opened it, showing a black flower with jagged pedals, jagged leafs around the square stem, with a blood-red pistil in the middle.
"Get me a map," Ranma said in annoyance, knowing he'd go up the mountain to get the flower right away.
-----
Lotion forced her tongue down Mousse throat, pushing him up against the wall. "Lomwmw," Mousse tried, as the bystanders looked strangely at the pair. Mousse put his hands against Lotions shoulders and went to push, but Lotion was strong as well and pushed, back, smiling during her forcing kiss. Her hands moved down Mousse's robes, feeling up his body and attempting to find a way to actually put her hands passed them on his skin; and they were getting dangerously close to his crotch area.
With a herculean effort Mousse managed to push the amorous Amazon off of him, and stagger aside. "Now, Lotion, mww-" Mousse started, but was interrupted as Lotion collided into him with a jump, her breasts pushing against his chest, and her tongue once more down his throat. He toppled over and Lotion wasted no time to pin him to the floor for a real good time. Struggling for his virtue, and loyalty to Shampoo, which to his dismay his penis didn't seem to share as it grew hard, he pushed against Lotion. Lotion, feeling his erection grow, smiled with happiness. "RAAH!" Mousse exclaimed, pushing Lotion off of him, and sending her a meter in the air and away. He got up quickly, as did Lotion with a smooth jump up from her shoulders. "THAT'S ENOUGH!" Mousse snapped, and Lotion stopped, a sly, happy grin on her face, and her eyes twinkling with even greater desire. "I'm not in love with you, my heart belongs to Shampoo!" he declared.
"Your hard-on seems to belong to me though," Lotion said, swaying as she took a few steps closer, and making any passersby shake their heads in disgust.
"Lotion," Mousse warned, and Lotion let out a deep breath. "Aah!" Mousse screamed, turned around and ran.
"Mousse!" Lotion called after him, quickly in hot pursuit. "Don't leave me, baby! My beloved man! Take me!"
Mousse half-collided with a few people, worming himself around them, much to their chagrin. This was taking too long, and he jumped up on a roof, ran, and jumped onward. He looked back, and too his dismay, Lotion had followed him up smoothly. "Aargh!" Mousse exclaimed, fearing for his virtue, cursing his betrayer of a penis.
He sped up, the equivalent of sprinting across rooftops now, and he was quickly getting winded. He jumped down into an alley and ran left. "Mousse! Wait, my love!" sounded behind him . . . much too close behind hm.
He ran out the alley into a busy shop street, and ran right. "Mousse!" Lotion exclaimed behind him. Mousse, quickly disappeared into the crowd . . . until he noticed nobody wore long white robes.
"Mousse, my baby," Lotion sounded far too close, and a moment later the buxom Amazon was once more around his neck, giving him a passionate kiss; this time without tongue thank the gods.
"Lotion!" Both Lotion and Mousse's head snapped to the voice, and looked at Deo standing close by. "What are you doing?" the thirty-something, every bit as hot as her daughter woman asked in shock.
"Kissing my amazing love Mousse of course," Lotion answered with a happy smile.
"WHAT!" Deo asked in utter disbelief.
"She's lost her mind, that's what! She's practically raping me!" Mousse told Lotion's mother in desperation.
"Really?" Deo asked.
"He's just being modest," Lotion said with a smile.
Deo looked around at some of the people staring at the scene, and quickly pulled the two off into the alley they came from for some privacy. "Lotion, have you forgotten your obligation?" Deo asked her daughter.
"Doesn't matter," Lotion said dreamily holding onto an uncomfortable Mousse.
"There was more than obligation," Deo said with some annoyance, but also a possibility.
"Xander was kissing Ukyo, now I know my true love," Lotion said, looking dreamily into the nervous Mousse eyes.
"Really? And where was this?" Deo asked her daughter, rubbing her chin in thought.
"At her stupid restaurant of course," Lotion answered with an 'obviously' tone. "Tossed one of her stupid pizzas at them too."
"You did, huh? I don't suppose you ate some?" Deo asked her daughter, growing more certain by the moment.
"No, and what's this stupid questioning, I found my love, that's all that matters," Lotion said, angry at her mother now.
"You certain? You didn't eat anything?" Deo asked her sharply.
"No, I didn't . . . apart from licking my fingers clean," Lotion answered, and Mousse looked from one to the other.
"Let me smell your breath," Deo ordered, being certain now.
"No, smell your own breath," Lotion countered annoyed; she had her Mousse, this served no purpose. Deo looked sharply at Mousse.
"Uh, would you do it for me?" Mousse asked Lotion a little nervous.
"I don't see why, but for you anything, my hunk of a man," Lotion answered, and promptly leaned toward her mother and breathed out.
Deo leant forward and breathed in through her nose. "Love Potion number 5," she stated with absolute certainty. "Overdose. I must prepare the antidote."
"This insanity will end?" Mousse asked hopefully, understanding Lotion's behavior finally.
"Madly in love with you," Lotion said, hugging Mousse close and rubbing her head in his shoulder. He whimpered.
"Yes, but you must get the Despise-Deceit flower from Mount Fuji. It's a rare flower, black, jagged, with blood-red pistils. You must find it quickly, Lotion and Xander must both drink the antidote," Deo said quickly. "Meet me at our hotel." She gave Mousse the address.
"Where on the mountain?" Mousse quickly asked, and Deo explained.
-----
Sunnydale
"That- that was amazing, Willow," Buffy muttered, moving her hand through her hand in a lazy, very satisfied matter.
Willow grinned from between her legs, licking her lips clean with relish. She moved forward and shared a gentle loving kiss with the bottle blonde. "You're amazing," Willow countered, and hugged Buffy close, who hugged the witch back.
"Buffy, I have to tell you something," Willow said seriously, but with a light tone.
"Hmm?" Buffy prompted leisurely, enjoying the feel of her naked body against Willow's naked body.
Willow hesitated a moment, and then decided to simply say, "When you made me climax, your mother was in the door."
Buffy froze, and then relaxed, "Very funny, Willow, ha, ha."
"Not a joke, Buffy," Willow said gently.
Buffy looked into Willow's eyes and then said annoyed, "Not funny anymore, Willow."
"She came with a tray of chips and coke," Willow said, and pointed at the door. Buffy turned around and her eyes fell on the cupboard, holding her mirror, beauty products, a few pictures . . . and a tray with a bowl of chips, two glasses and a bottle of cola.
Buffy's eyes widened with shock, then she turned white. "Oh, no! No, no! This can't be happening. Why didn't you say anything?"
"When you're climaxing there's not much else you can do; and she was gone afterward," Willow said, and shrugged at Buffy, "I figured before I tell you the nightmare I give you another round of pleasure; you deserved it, definitely."
"I'm so stupid!" Buffy exclaimed in a hiss. "What was I thinking? Doing that with mom home! I didn't even lock the door."
"We were in the moment, honey, not much thinking going on," Willow said, watching as Buffy struggled off the bed and started pacing, her face still white with horror.
"That was a rhetorical question, Willow!" Buffy said upset, growing a little angry. "Now my mom watched me . . ." Buffy trailed off as she pictured what her mom would have scene: she between the legs of a thrashing- ". . . oh, my god! Oh, my god! This can't be happening. Oh, god!"
"It isn't so bad," Willow said in a consoling tone.
"Not so bad? How is this not so bad?" Buffy asked Willow with her hands in the air out of despair.
"Well, she didn't interrupt us," Willow pointed out, earning her a dropped jaw. Willow quickly realized how that sounded, and added, "What I mean is; she isn't hysterically calling us god-devoid sluts and stuff, and running out to buy a shotgun and blow our immoral, devil-worshiping heads off."
Buffy considered it, and sank down to the floor, "I guess." The whiteness slowly retreating.
With a smirk that Willow couldn't suppress, she said, "Look on the bright side, you don't have to worry about introducing me as your girlfriend anymore."
"Willow!" Buffy exclaimed exasperated, and once again thought about what her mom had seen. "Oh, my god!" Buffy exclaimed again, this time the whiteness completely retreating and her cheeks growing red. "Oh, god," she said, sinking her head down in her hands with shame.
Willow came over and took Buffy in an embrace, "Ssh, there's nothing to be ashamed off, embarrassed sure, but not ashamed."
Buffy looked up, straight into Willow's twinkling eyes, "This isn't helping."
"Maybe we should just confront the mom-monster?" Willow asked, rubbing her head against Buffy's caringly.
"Mm," Buffy whimpered, giving Willow puppy-dog eyes.
-----
Hesitantly, almost shaking, Buffy walked into the living room, Willow at her side. Her mother was sitting at the high table. "Mom?" Buffy asked tentatively, feeling her cheeks flush a little as she saw her mother drink tea stoically . . . at least, she guessed it was tea. It was quite a while since - oh, god! - she might have progressed to . . . nah, couldn't be . . . she hoped hadn't driven her mom to drinking.
"Ah, Buffy, Willow, I think we need to have a little chat," Joyce said friendly, pointing two the chairs.
Buffy gulped. A 'chat', even. A 'chat'! She was doomed. She nodded and the two of them walked over. Buffy said at the head of the table, while Willow sat to the left of her, directly opposite her mother.
"So, that little question about Willow wanting to tell her parents of her bisexuality, was really about you, huh?" Joyce asked, in what she hoped sounded like a casual start of the conversation. Buffy nodded weakly, and give Willow a look, who looked at her askance, but quickly figured it out. "How long ago did it start?"
Willow and Buffy looked at each other, and Buffy sputtered out, "A-a few weeks."
"But- this is the first time we . . ." Willow made some well-meaning, but ambiguous gestures, and then finished, ". . . consummated."
"We're kinda . . . figuring this out still, ourselves," Buffy muttered, looking down in embarrassment. Willow nodded.
"I see," Joyce said, and wanted to slap herself - that sounded far too icy. She quickly placed her left hand supportively on Buffy's right, sought Buffy's eyes, and said, "I love you, Buffy, and I'm totally okay with this. What I told you then weren't empty words. It's just that . . . well, we're going to have to set up a few rules." Buffy and Willow looked at her, Buffy with a beaten puppy look. "Nothing to do with Willow, honey, but boy or girl, I don't /ever/ want to walk in on you again when you're . . . busy."
Buffy perked up a bit, but still flushed with embarrassment, "Yeah, me too, you walking in when - oh, god." Willow's mouth quirked upward, but she forced it down again with all her will power.
"So, when you feel the urge, and you're here, lock your doors. I would prefer if you don't . . . do it here at all, but I know it's impossible it never happens again, so, lock up," Joyce said, and then smiled at Buffy, who nodded.
"Uhm," Willow peeped out, raising her hand, and the two blondes looked at her, "not trying to be rude; but you know, if we should forget for whatever reason, perhaps when we're both here, knocking first? Like I said, no rudeness, just practically." The last sentence Willow managed to rush out in classic Willow-babble.
A moment Joyce stayed silent, but then nodded, and said, "That is a good idea. And if I every bring a guy - or girl -" Joyce smiled at the two, making Buffy's eyes widen in shock, "home, the same rules go for my room."
"Ack! I so don't want to think about that," Buffy said in disgust.
Willow shrugged, and told her, "Your mother is a striking, and successful woman, Buffy, I'm certain there plenty of persons out here who'd . . ."
"Don't say it!" Buffy warned her now official girlfriend.
"Why thank you, Willow," Joyce thanked Willow for the compliment.
The three stayed silent for a bit. Willow and Joyce looked at each other, and they smirked just a bit, eyes twinkling. Joyce spoke up, "This is actually quite funny when you think about."
"No, it's not," Buffy said incredulous, feeling her cheeks grow hot again as the concept entered her.
"It is quite funny, Buffy," Willow said, and gave a chuckle she could no longer hold; Joyce the same.
Buffy, her embarrassment rising, swung her head from her mother to her girlfriend, and couldn't believe the two were going to laugh at this. "You two can't be . . . Mom, you just caught my girlfriend and- . . . oh, god!" Buffy exclaimed about the event once again, and Joyce and Willow started giggling. "No!" Buffy exclaimed and then turned fiery red.
"Hey, you're redder than I usually am," Willow said with an amused smile. Joyce giggled, trying to hold it.
"Oh, god!" Buffy exclaimed again, this time letting her head fall to table in frustration and embarrassment, locking her hands protectively on her head. "This can't be happening!" Willow and Joyce then really started laughing, and Buffy felt like sinking to the floor till she reached Xander in Japan.
-----
Nerima
The steep mountain was quite a climb. Trees stood everywhere amongst the grass. Ranma-chan checked the map and was pretty sure she was going in the right direction. "Don't worry, fair Ukyo-chan, I'll carry you up the mountain," Xander's manly, chivalrous voice sounded behind him.
"Oh, no need, Xander, but thank you," Ukyo answered, an obvious hint of genuine gratefulness in her voice, and perhaps even flattery.
Ranma-chan twisted around suddenly, growling with anger, seeing Xander's hand on Ukyo's back, and to the right of them, Sasuke and Akane. The ninja had a smile upon his face as Akane stayed close to him, and was obviously periodically pawning him. "Damn it, Ukyo!" Ranma-chan screamed with anger. "He's under the influence of your poison! Don't encourage him!"
"Sorry," Ukyo said, ducking her head downward in shame, "it's just nice."
"Don't talk to the goddess Ukyo like that!" Xander warned Ranma threateningly, stepping in between the love of his life and Ranma. "Nobody insults my Ukyo like that."
"Oh, yeah, buster?" Ranma-chan asked him challengingly, cracking her knuckles, fed up with the whole situation, even if it wasn't Xander's fault. "You think so, huh? Well, come on if you dare, I'll show you otherwise."
"Xander," Ukyo warned him, not wanting to be responsible for the nice guy to get an asskicking.
Xander stood back up straight, reigning himself back in, and said, "You're right, Ukyo-chan, this waste of space isn't worth it."
Ranma-chan narrowed her eyes. She just need to pound someone, and said, "Ukyo is an ugly, manipulative witch who can't even read a simple set of instructions." Ukyo looked down in shame - she deserved that after all, but it wasn't meant for her.
"That's it!" Xander roared and threw a massive haymaker at Ranma-chan, who smoothly ducked beneath it. A right to Xander's stomach made him groan, but he grabbed the smaller girl-Ranma by her shoulders and pulled her up, before tossing her aside. Before she landed, Xander's right foot stomped in her stomach and she was launched further backward.
"Oh, no!" Ukyo exclaimed as Ranma-chan landed on the floor.
"Ranma-baka," Akane said watching the fight with disdain. Xander reached Ranma-chan, but she landed a powerful uppercut, making Xander stagger back and groan with pain. "Always fighting, but you're more mature, aren't you, Sasuke? Of course you are." She planted another kiss on him, much to the ninja's delight.
Xander attacked, making a feint with his left, and then nailed Ranma-chan in the face with a right. His following punch Ranma ducked under, and kicked Xander in the upper leg. Xander ignored it, and threw another punch, which Ranma grabbed. Already down for her kick to Xander's upper leg and ducking beneath Xander's punch, Ranma rolled back, and kicked upward, sending Xander flying high and away. Ranma-chan got back up with a grin, slapping her hands together and said, "Still not quite good enough, Xander."
She turned around to watch Xander's flight, which had taken the Sunnydaler through several branches from trees already, to finally land right smack in a small pool of water. Lexa drowsily looked up from the pool, shook her head, and focused on Ranma-chan. "Oh, Ranma, you manly, strong, studly babe, you," she said with a sly grin, and jumped forward, then ran.
"Oh, no! Ukyo, warm wamm-" Ranma started, interrupted by a big embrace and Lexa's tongue down his throat. Her eyes were wide with horror, as Lexa's strong arms tightened around his own. "Mmmh!" he exclaimed, and then broke free, and pushed Lexa back. "AAH!" he screamed, "Ugh, phooey! Yuck. Pueah!"
"Hmm," Lexa said with a seductive moan, rubbing her chest - her breasts - where Ranma had pushed to get her off of her, "I knew you were just faking it. Like my tits, huh?"
"AAH!" Ranma-chan screamed. She turned around and ran with all the strength she could muster as Ukyo was struggling with the warm water cannister's cap.
"Come here, sweetheart!" Lexa yelled, already in hot pursuit of her loved one.
Ranma scrambled up a tree, and Lexa followed. "Get off me! Let me go!" Ranma yelled scrambling higher rapidly.
"Never, babe!" Lexa exclaimed, happily charging right after Ranma.
Ranma-chan quickly moved to her right onto a branch, hoping that would slow her crazed, best friend down. Not so, Lexa crawled after him like a big, sexy feline, purring like one too. "HOT WATER! HOT WATER! QUICKLY!" Ranma-chan exclaimed in fear, sliding backward, taking the occasional look back, and noticing the end coming closer rapidly. "UKYO, COME ON!"
"I'M COMING, I'M COMING!" Ukyo yelled and jumped up high, and then threw water along the branch, covering both Ranma-chan and Lexa who had closed to only two inches away from the brunette. The girls turned back into guys, and as the weight shifted the branch fluttered, and Ranma lost his balanced. "AARGH!" he exclaimed, toppling over, crashing down through several branches, to finally smack face-first in a heap into the ground.
Xander shook his head, looked around, and then smiled seeing Ukyo. "Ukyo!" he exclaimed, and happily jumped down, quickly capturing the girl with a kiss.
Pained with guilt, she cut the kiss short, and looked over. "Are you okay, Ranma?" Ukyo asked concerned.
"I will be after my head stops ringing, and I no longer have grass and sand in my mouth," Ranma growled in frustration.
Akane, lovingly carrying Sasuke, came over, and said, "Suit you fine, Ranma-baka. That's what you get for attacking people." Then she kissed the ninja again, who just smiled, as he kissed her back. Ukyo held out her hand, and Ranma took it to be helped up.
-----
"Look at this beautiful place!" Lotion exclaimed happily, looking around the small field with different flowers and high grass. The forest continued shortly up ahead. "So romantic, doesn't this makes you want to ravish me right here?"
"No!" Mousse exclaimed, frustration growing. "I love only one woman, and her name is Shampoo!"
"Don't be shy. I know you really like me, just let it out. The bitch isn't worthy of you anyway," Lotion said sweetly, wrapping her arms around Mousse's shoulders, and pressing her breasts in his back.
Mousse whimpered, "What cruel fate, this world has given me!" He felt the Amazon's lips on his neck, kissing gently, sucking a bit, and letting her tongue sensually stimulate his skin. To his shame, he once again wasn't left untouched by the sensual event. "Get off," he demanded.
"Hmm, not yet," Lotion said, increasing the pressure, and forcing a surprised Mousse down to the grass. "First, we make love."
"No!" he exclaimed, as he felt Lotion start to claw at his robes. The white cloth quickly reached the breaking point, and to Mousse's shock he felt them rip. "Get off," he said as he struggled, still politely. Lotion turn him over, and ripped the robes from his body, leaving him in the white t-shirt and the blue jeans he was wearing underneath.
"Oh, baby, what a chest, take me, you amazing specimen of man you!" Lotion exclaimed hotly, smothering Mousse in a passionate tongue kiss.
"Mmhh!" Mousse exclaimed, looking cross-eyed through his glasses, and then with some effort kicked Lotion of him. "No, woman!"
"I love it when you get bossy," Lotion said, on her hand and knees now and growling like a panther.
"Well, can't you obey then?" Mousse asked, hopefully.
"We can play that game later," Lotion said with a smirk and started crawling toward him again.
"AAARGGHH!" Mousse screamed, quickly jumped up, turned around and started running toward his ultimate destination. "MUST GET THAT FLOWER!"
"Mousse!" Lotion yelled disappointed and soon was in hot pursuit.
Mousse looked back for a moment, and sped up into a sprint. "Oh, god! Must get that flower! Must get that flower! I can't afford not to get that flower!" Speeding up even more, he mentally recalled the directions Deo had given him. He turned right, up a steeper section of the mountain; jumping along. Soon he came to a new horizontal plateau.
There it was! Black jagged flower, blood-red pistils! "THAT FLOWER IS MINE!" he yelled. Now why would he sound in stereo? He jumped, grabbing for the flower to get it as fast as possible and then just keep going right back to Lotion's mother . . .
A devastating bolt of pain through his head, and being launched backward by the devastating collision with something had other plans for him. The glasses left him, and he landed painfully on his butt with a grunt. He blinked, seeing nothing but blurs. He reached in between his wide-spread legs, felt around, and found his glasses. He put them on, and everything came back into focus. He saw Ranma sitting in the grass on the opposite side of his prized flower. Ukyo and a few others were behind his rival. "You bastard!" Mousse screamed, getting up, as Ranma did the same, "I knew you were behind this after all! THAT FLOWER IS MINE AND YOU SHALL PAY!"
"YOU BAKA!" Ranma screamed back, rage coursing through his body, "AND THAT FLOWER COMES WITH ME AND NO ONE ELSE!"
They charged each other and clashed in a titanic battle; fist flew, and kicks were given . . . Mousse was groaning and staggering back while Ranma grinned and was ready to finish it.
"STOP IT!" Ukyo was in between the two, her hands against either chest. "This is no time for a stupid fight. Mousse, why do you need the flower?"
Mousse blinked, and then said, "So Deo can make an antidote for her daughter."
Said daughter arrived and hung around Mousse's neck, kissing him there and saying, "There's no antidote for love, silly."
Ukyo looked surprised at this turn of events, while Mousse grumbled, "No, but there is for a love potion."
Lotion had picked up the okonomiyaki! She must have had some on her fingers! Ukyo's guilt flashed through her, and then relief: if Lotion was affected as well, then there was no way she wouldn't believe Xander's reason for kissing her! "Ranma, Mousse," Ukyo stated with a hint of happiness, and the rest annoyed dominance, "you two want the flower for the same reason. What does it matter if Cologne or Deo makes the antidote, as long as it gets made? And if both you are adamant about having your Amazon make it; there's an entire patch of flowers over there." Ukyo turned a quarter circle, and pointed to her right.
Indeed, there was an entire patch of them there; easily fifty flowers. Mousse and Ranma looked down at the lone flower, and then up at each other, before looking sheepishly at Ukyo. "I'll take the flower," Ukyo said, and picked the flower from the ground.
"Hmm," Xander muttered and reached his girl, kissing Ukyo passionately in the neck, "I love it when you get all referee-dominant-like."
"We gotta hurry," Ranma said quickly, to which Mousse agreed happily.
-----
"There, it is done," Cologne announced, inside her restaurant.
"Finally," Ranma said with relief, as Cologne filled three small glasses with the concoction.
Ukyo took one glass and handed it over to Xander. "Xander, you need to drink this," she told him.
"I don't see the point," Xander looked with disdain at the green liquid.
"For me?" Ukyo asked.
"Anything for you," Xander said happily, took the glass, and gulped it down in one go. Everyone waited with baited breath as Xander shuddered at the taste. He blinked once. He blinked a second time. Then suddenly he jerked, his eyes refocused, and he looked Ukyo. His eyes widened and he took a step back from. "Oh, god, so that's what it feels like. Ugh." Then he suddenly looked at Ranma, horror on his face, and he said, "Oh, man, Ranma, I'm so sorry. I-"
"Save it!" Ranma interrupted, "Just don't every remind me. As far as I'm concerned, this day never happened."
"Got ya, yieh," Xander said, and walked away from the bar to sit down at a table.
"Yes!" Shampoo exclaimed happily, "Future husband no marry man!"
"Alright, Lotion, you're turn!" Mousse said enthusiastically.
"What for?" Lotion whined.
"Just do it for me already," Mousse said with annoyance. This nightmare had to be over quickly.
"Well, okay," Lotion said, and walked forward. She took a glass and gulped it down. "Ack! Disgusting!" Lotion exclaimed, and put the glass back down, next to Xander's empty one. Everyone waited, and then Lotion shivered, before frowning. "AAARGH!" she suddenly exclaimed, "NOT AGAIN! That's the second time in the same stupid year! Love potions, love spells, they should be forbidden! Burned! Destroyed!" Lotion then turned to Ukyo, and glared at her. Ukyo took a step back and looked down in guilt.
Lotion then walked over to Xander sat down in his lap, wrapping her arms around. Xander hugged her back, and told her, "It's okay now, Lotion."
"I hate that, I really hate that," Lotion said, shivering at her second false love experience.
"About that, hey Ranma," Xander said, and Ranma looked at him. "Remember what advice I gave you about your choices?"
Ranma frowned a moment, and then looked up with revelation. "Yeah."
With a smile Xander said, "Forget about it." Ukyo blinked, and then realized what it meant, and she shrunk further with guilt, and pain at how this horrible idea turned out.
A few moments there was silence, then: "Sasuke, we're waiting." Ranma looked at the little ninja with an equally dangerous look as his tone.
Sasuke looked with large eyes at him, then he swallowed, and said, "Akane, drink that drink for me."
"Okay," Akane said happily to please her loved one. She walked over and drank the glass down. She too shivered at the taste. A moment later she blinked several times. Then her eyes widened and she looked at Sasuke. "AAAAAAAAAHHHH!" she screeched, piercing several eardrums, and kicked forward instinctively. She caught Sasuke squarely in the jaw, and with a scream of pain he was launched out the restaurant. "Aargh!" Akane added, and then kept staring ahead silently in horror.
Ranma walked to in front of Akane and asked concerned, "Are you okay, Akane?"
"Of course, I'm not okay, you baka!" Akane screamed suddenly, glaring at him. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT TOO!"
"What? But Ukyo-"
With devastating punch, accompanied by a growl, Ranma was launched out after Sasuke, groaning in pain. "If you hadn't followed your stupid stomach, this wouldn't have happened, Ranma-baka!" Akane yelled after him.
"By the gods, Akane," Lotion muttered in disbelief, as she and the others looked at what she had done to Ranma, "You really have to learn perspective and where blame belongs; squarely on that bitch's shoulders." Lotion glared at Ukyo. Akane turned around and after a moment glared at her as well.
"I'm so sorry," Ukyo told them, looking down in shame.
-----
Sunnydale
Buffy and Willow walked side by side through the cemetery, their patrol going pretty well, having taken out several vamps and a demon already. "You know, Will, mom was all okay with us at home, and all, but I think I prefer to do it somewhere else; just take away the chance of that happening again altogether."
Willow nodded; they had already decided to never say what happened in the event ever again, so it was reduced to short designations. "Yeah, but where?" Willow said, avoiding a headstone. "My parents would actually go out and buy that shotgun, I think. A seedy motel room isn't my cup of tea, not all the time anyway. Neither of us have a car to do it in the back of, except the occasional times I manage to steal the one of my parents, and again with the all the time."
Buffy nodded, and pushed her hands in her pockets, her right hand clasping around her keys. Her eyes widened, and pulled the keys out, focusing her gaze on a specific one. She held the keys up by it, and shook it to make noise and get Willow's attention. Then she said, "We use Xander's apartment. He's still on vacation for another two weeks or so. We'll have to think of something else when he gets back, but until then . . ."
Willow's face broke into a huge smile, as she finished for Buffy, ". . . we have our very own love palace! Buffy, you're a genius!"
"I have my moments," Buffy replied, with a grin was as wide as Willow's. Both smiles quickly disappeared as Willow engulfed Buffy in a hug, and kissed her passionately. Buffy happily returned the hug and the kiss, and moaned at as their bodies pressed together.
"Oh, wow, that's hot!" The vampire who said it and had been about to sink his fangs into Willow's neck from behind, promptly disappeared in a cloud of dust, as Buffy staked it.
"No respect for privacy these days," Buffy told Willow with a heavy tone. Willow nodded, and then they ran toward Xander's apartment.
To Be Continued . . .