Half Blessing, Half Curse Season 2

by TD Master

Xander is still cursed, and visits Nerima!

5. Part 5: The Hellmouth Strikes

Title:

1/2 Blessing, 1/2 Curse - Season 2 - 5?

Author:

3D Master

Feedback:

3d.masterchello.nl

Website:

http/members.chello.nl/-jg.temolder1/

Rating:

17+WVES

Keywords:

X-Over Ranma ½ / Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Action, Humor, Drama, AU.

Summary:

Xander returns to Sunnydale.

Disclaimer:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer and its characters do not belong to me, but to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions. Ranma ½ belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. The Ninja it's type of fighting and his eyes come from Naruto, created by Masashi Kishimoto.

----Part 5: The Hellmouth Strikes----

The moon was out, and darkness prevailed. Willow and Buffy were walking through the Sunnydale park, patrolling, Willow using a flashlight. They were, however, holding hands, and smiling. "It's a nice night, huh?" Buffy asked with a smile.

"Yep," Willow said with a smirk. "It's much nicer if I remember what we did earlier tonight."

Buffy's gave Willow a wicket grin, and said, "Do you think Xander can smell us when he gets back? We really worked the place over in our last chance."

Willow grinned evilly, and said, "I don't know, depends on how well your cleaning skills are and how well you've applied them; I did my part." Buffy scowled at Willow, who diffused the Slayer's wrath with a big smile, and a passionate kiss. Then she went on, "But we definitely did. You think there's anything we forgot to have sex in, on, or at tonight?"

"Nope, all three of us got a good workout," Buffy said with a smirk. Willow looked puzzled at the Slayer, as they continued their trek through the park. "You, me, and the apartment." Willow laughed.

She stopped a moment later, and said, "Actually, Xander might actually be back already."

"You think it's that late?" Buffy asked surprised, and looked around at the moon and stars. "Ah, I either got to learn to tell time by the moon, the sun, and the stars, or buy a watch."

"Yeah, me too," Willow said, looking around at the stars and then back down, "we spent quite some time in Xander's, both the dirty deeds and the cleanup, and we've been patrolling for some time."

"It sucks his plane landed in the middle of the night," Buffy complained in annoyance. "Dang it, why do the commercial flights from Japan not go to Sunnydale anyway? And why did his plane from Japan have to have a damn delay so he didn't know whether he'd get the connection between LAX and Sunnydale airport or have to stay the night."

"I know all that, Buffy," Willow said with a smile, and shone the flashlight to her left suddenly, checking if it really was something worthwhile she saw form the corner of her eyes.

"But I wanted to welcome him home, stupid planes," Buffy pouted overly, gaining a kiss on her cheek from Willow.

"This place is empty except for animals," Willow said with annoyance. "Come on, let's get out of here and see if Xander's either back, or if left us a message when exactly."

"I hope he's not here yet so we can welcome him," Buffy said brightly, as they turned slightly and set a resolute pace. "No, I don't, I'd like to have him back as soon as possible. Oh, god, what do you think his reaction to us will be? Perhaps he shouldn't be arriving until tomorrow after all."

Willow laughed at Buffy, making the Slayer frown. Willow planted her lips on Buffy and kissed her deeply and passionately, tongue playing with tongue. After a bit she broke away, and ushering a slightly dazed Slayer onward again, she said, "I love you in all your quirkiness, Buffy." Buffy smiled self-consciously.

Thus they reached the edge of the park, and entered a cemetery that bordered to it. It was a relatively new cemetery and so mostly empty - at least it should have been. A whole group of golden glowing eyes was waiting for them; at least thirty vamped out vampires, all sporting evil grins. One of them was headed toward Buffy and Willow as they stood nailed to the floor in surprise and a little fear - the low growls coming from the back of the throats of quite a few vampires didn't help any. They were outnumbered fifteen to one, in a small area; fleeing might be the best option. They looked behind them for a moment, and found another throng of vampires having surrounded them. Now there were well over forty. The vampire jumped, roared with satisfaction to attack the two girls, only to scream in pain and turn to dust.

A figure flipped through the air and landed in middle of the cemetery, surrounded by the vampires. Buffy and Willow recognized him immediately. "Xander!"

"Stay put!" Xander called, stretching out his hand toward them. The stake that had dusted the vampire landed with dull flub in the grass. Xander took in the numbers, started doing the math. Buffy and Willow obeyed, but turned back to back, and readied to fight. "All right, who's first?"

The vampires' faces already twisted in grins grinned even wider, growling once again, then fifteen vampires charged Xander at once. Xander waited and then jumped high. To his surprise the vampires didn't dumbly smashed into each other, several had already jumped, as if having anticipated his move, while the others paused, and from those four jumped up after Xander; there now being eight vampires in the air.

Xander pulled two stakes from his jacket, and blocked the first punch coming from a vampire in front of him. He pulled his left hand back sharply to deliver a punch, using the movement to ram his elbow in a vamp behind him which had gone for his neck. The vamp was flung backward in pain. In the air Xander turned, slamming the stake from his left hand in the first vampire's chest in the process, making him explode into dust. Using the turn he kicked out his right foot, and sent another vampire flying. His right hand shot out to his right, sticking the stake in a vampire's throat, sending him gurgling to the ground. Another vampire was in the right position to slam a punch in Xander's left side. Xander groaned a little, and slammed his left hand down, dusting the vamp with his stake. Already falling back down, Xander then quickly twisted backwards, so he came upside down. It was just in time as a quick jab from a vamp went through where his head had been a moment earlier. The moment from the quick turn Xander used to kick the vamp in his stomach and sent him flying away, to land amidst several of the fifty plus vampires - he was caught and placed upright though, no bowl-a-rama. Upside down, Xander threw one of his stakes and dusted the for-to-final of the aerial vampires. The final vampires came down at Xander with a double handed blow, but Xander blocked it with his legs, and grabbed the vampire's torso. He made a twist while stretching their bodies outward, thus speeding up the twisting motion, sent the vampire flying away to land painfully on his back beyond the vampires.

Xander grunted with the effort to stretch further, the forces making him want to spread out his legs again, but the time wasn't there yet. He sped up a bid more, and then spread out his legs. The vampires waiting below had indeed as expected charged in, but had apparently anticipated this again, as they paused to avoid Xander's helicopter kick. Xander landed on his hands, grimacing with effort, and twisted onward, pushing off with one hand to flip over on his feet again. The vampires were charging perfect coordinated, he anticipated, and so he needed to move before they could box him in. He took a quick powerful step toward the front of the cemetery and landed a simple but very effecting haymaker on the vampire's nose, sending him flying. Xander rapidly turned a quarter circle, and blocked the lunge from the vampire with his left hand. He twisted the arm up, while he ducked underneath it and stepped forward. The other two vamps paused so as not to hit their own, while Xander brought up his right hand and slammed the stake into the vamps heart. It dusted, but Xander didn't. Moving to his right, he walked into solid fist to his face. Damn, these guys knew how to work together. Staggering back, Xander threw his stake, dusted the vampire, and then turned on his right foot quickly, making a devastating left roundhouse kick. The turn was just enough for Xander to avoid the final vampire's attack, and hit it with the kick afterward. The vampire was launched off its feet, yelling in pain, and slammed like a torpedo in the left section of surrounding vampires. This time the vamp was too fast to handle, and some of the vampires went down, but only for a short moment, and none all the way to their backs, except the one Xander had kicked but he was immediately held up.

"Whoa," Willow muttered in surprise, taking in her childhood friend, who was standing in a martial arts stands and was looking at the vampires like a hawk. He looked good! Even better then before he left. The tight jeans, the black jacket, and his purple, tight, sleeveless, shirt - mixing modern and traditional fashions - looked amazing on him. And he had gotten even better; oh, boy had he gotten better. "He's even more muscular then before, but you know, lean, not body building."

"Yeah," Buffy agreed softly, barely able to believe her eyes, both Xander and the perfectly well-oiled machine that was the vampires, who for some reason didn't do anything for the moment. "God he's good, he's gotten even better. If this was a year ago, and I was over there, I'd be dinner about now. And since when do vamps dress color coordinated?"

"That's what you notice?" Willow questioned half-annoyed, half-amused, her heart flaring for her girlfriend.

Xander looked around suspiciously, wondering why the vampires waited, some moaning and recovering vampires that Xander had faced rejoining the group. Then there was an hardy laughter, joined by an one-man, or one-vamp, applause, and a group of vampires parted for one of them to step forward. Like the other vampires he was in red and black colors, but unlike the others he stood out by a much more regal look. His long leather, mostly dark red coat, was closed from neck to middle with clasps. The coat was sleeveless, and a round, metal crest was on the right part of its chest. There were a few more small metal ornaments on his being. The other vampires, Xander now noticed, had the same, but a much smaller crest just under their shoulder. "Impressive," the brunet vampire spoke in a cultured voice with an Italian accent. "I am Augustino Pietrantoni."

"Xander Harris," Xander returned carefully, while Buffy and Willow gave each other a look from the corner of their eyes. Xander asked the guy, "Any reason why you Nazi-wannabes managed to relocate here?"

"You and the girls," the Italian vampire spoke casually. "I hate the Hellmouth you know. Been here before; the whole place just plane stinks, influences everything to go wrong . . . even if you're evil. So when I heard of Slayer guarding the place I couldn't care less; had the pleasure of eating a few, tasty, intoxicating, so much power to suck into you, but after you've had a few." The vampire shrugged, "Not enough for me to care . . . then though, there were suddenly reports several people much stronger than Slayers. Now that, is something I couldn't pass up. I have the numbers."

"No, you don't," Xander said almost casually. Pietrantoni smirked, and then his smirk faltered when he realized Xander wasn't bluffing - he didn't feel fear, just a nervous anticipation. Xander continued, "These buffoons and you are pathetic." The growls increased in volume, the vampires getting pissed off.

"Really? You seemed to have trouble with but a few," the Italian said calmly, but obviously pissed off. "I've trained my soldiers well, as you've seen."

Xander chuckled and let it grow into a laugh, the vampires growls grew. "Xander? How about not pissing off the nice vampires who outnumber us fifteen to one?" Willow suggested a little afraid.

"Willow, Buffy, stay out of this, you hear, these dipshits are mine," Xander told his friends sternly, looking at them forcibly for a moment, pointing at them. Xander turned back to the lead vamp, and told him, "Granted, compared to a standard vamp your choir faggots are pretty well trained, but to me." Xander shrugged theatrically, "I could kill them all without holding a weapon - in fact . . ." With the vampires' tempers mounting Xander tossed his staked to his left, then reached in his jacket, pulling his remaining four stakes out, and tossed them around him, much to Buffy's and Willow's shock. "I'm going to dust each and every one of you, without touching those stakes," Xander said with a grin, gesturing to the pieces of wood. The vampires growled angrily. Xander casually turned half around, and looked over his shoulder at the vampires behind Buffy and Willow, "And I do mean each and every one of you, come on, don't tell me you're chicken." Xander made a come here gesture with his right index fingers. The vampires growled and came forward, much to Buffy and Willow's dislike, but were relieved when the vampires seemed to pass them by; at the same time they got even more afraid - afraid for Xander.

The vampires were beyond pissed, that much was obvious, they were all vamped out, and growling loudly, only barely keeping the discipline to wait for their masters order. "XANDER!" Buffy screamed in shock, while Willow shrieked out his name as well. "YOU CAN'T DO THIS! NOT EVEN YOU ARE THIS GOOD, AND YOU'RE NOT ARMED!"

"-WILLOW, BUFFY, STAY PUT IF YOU VALUE YOUR HEALTH!-" Xander commanded forcibly.

"XANDER!" Willow shrieked again, wanting to go forward, but Buffy grabbed her around the face, and the other arm around her waist.

"We trust him, right?" Buffy said with a trembling voice. Willow stopped struggling, but kept watching with wide eyes filled with terror.

"If you're done keeping your little women out of men's business," Augustino spoke in a mixture of a hiss and a growl, "-KILL HIM! Whoever does, may drain him dry, and take whatever of his power lies in his blood!-"

With enraged growls the vampires, including the leader, charged to Xander, where six clashed with him at the same time; even enraged, they showed enough discipline to walk in each other's way. Xander casually blocked one punch, and zipped to his right to avoid the others, but not just to do that. Careful to keep his own temper and temperature cool, he started going in circles. Without haste he blocked attacks from the vampires, and ignored when they hit him, focusing totally on stay upright and continuing to make his ever smaller circles. One vampire was fed up, and simply jumped into the air; too late.

Xander reached his middle, and made an uppercut, but doing much more, pulling and throwing the energy he'd been gathering into the air, yelling, "HIRYU SHOTEN HA!" Vampires' body temperature never reached above the temperature around them, but the technique didn't need their body temperature, it needed the temperature of their life, or in this case unlife energy; and with their rage it was far more than enough. There was a flash of light, accompanied by a roar and dragon made of energy pulled up out the ground around Xander, multiple spirals of old and hot energy forming together to make up the beast. It roared and shot high into the air.

Buffy's and Willow's hadn't stopped being wide, but now it was of astonishment. Buffy's hand slipped from Willow's mouth, and the redhead muttered, "Is that a dragon?"

Then all hell broke loose. Suddenly there was a massive twister, and it sucked up everything that was loose, and not so loose, including all the vampires, the stakes, and Xander. Worse, the grass and some of the earth it was planted in was ripped from the ground, leaves from trees were torn off, and even branches.

"Aaah!" Buffy and Willow screamed in fright, their hair whipping toward the twister, as well as their skirts and shirts which threatened to be ripped off. In fact, they felt themselves growing light, and giving each other a quickly glance they quickly grabbed ahold of the nearest tree, and held tight.

"Xander's in there," Willow said in shock and fright at the massive twister, watching a part of the hedge being torn out of the ground and into it.

Xander was indeed inside, being pulled along in the twisting motion. "Ouch," Xander muttered, totally unhearable above the twister's roar, "mental note; forty-five chi twister to be avoided if possible." Especially when he saw one of the two gate doors of the cemetery entrance fly by, along with a screaming vampire that had grabbed onto it for dear unlife. "Okay, time to end this," Xander told himself with a grin, "before Ranma and me trained on this thing together, this was totally out of control, but we figured something out." Xander closed his eyes, and felt his own still cold energy, and the hot energy tied to it, and then felt out to his stakes. Taking subtle breaths, and flexing his muscles and with it his energy, the stakes suddenly started changing course. A vampire slammed straight into one, which came out the other end with the speed differences, and then it dusted. Another stake slammed into a vampire from the back, another shot upward into a vampire's chest. Vampires started dusting rapidly, more and more. The poof usually accompanying the dusting process, completely washed out by the thunderous tornado. Soon only the leader remained, helplessly twisting and flailing about, screaming in rage. Xander came floating close by, and with a grin he wiggled his empty hands at him. Then a stake destroyed him too.

With all of them dead, Xander took ahold of the energies, and subtlely let them disrupt the twisters internal balance more and more. Soon the twister evaporated, leafs, grass, branches, and a metal gate slamming into the ground, while Xander landed.

Willow and Buffy reopened their eyes, and looked over at the calm, but messed up cemetery. Xander stood in the middle, and held out his hands, the stakes falling in them, and smoothly started putting them away, eyes closed he said with a grin, "Told them no hands."

"Xander!" two girls voices exclaimed and two girls slammed into him, enveloping him in a relieved hug.

"I'm fine, guys . . ." Xander said with a grin, and then trailed off. Did he really feel skin? His eyes opened and two shredded sets of girls clothing floated down around him. He looked down and saw the girls only wearing shoes, socks, bras and panties. "Oops," he said.

The girls' eyes opened, and then remember feeling their clothes torn off of them a little earlier. They quickly backed away from Xander and looked at them. Xander couldn't help but give a laugh, "You two are looking good though."

"Xander!" Buffy shrieked and nailed him on his upper arm, making him rub it. Then she did what Willow had already done; clasping their arms around their breasts, and over their crotches.

Willow gave an embarrassed shriek, and quickly went over to gather some of the destroyed clothes, hoping to get a few pieces big enough to cover up somewhat. Buffy followed her example on the other side. Willow bent down to gather up some . . . giving Xander one hell of a view of her string-clad - or perhaps unclad - ass. "Wow, Willow," Xander blurted out before he could stop himself.

Willow frowned, and then realized what he was showing him bent over. She shrieked, straightened up, turned and put her hand holding a torn skirt behind her ass. "Xander!" she exclaimed, and then realized this way she kept her crotch uncovered for him, and quickly brought her hand back forward again, a torn shirt now in front of her breasts. She was hunched over, and half bent trying to keep everything covered.

"Sorry," he said, "I'll try to keep my eyes closed."

"They're still open," Buffy said annoyed, looking up from her bent over position, to check up on her lover's shriek and Xander's comment.

"Uh, I guess so," Xander said and turned to Buffy, and smiled as he saw her from the side bent over, with legs spread practically in a porn pose inviting him to take her from behind.

Buffy frowned at him looking. "Ack! Xander!" she said, and quickly straightened up, "You bastard!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but it isn't like I wouldn't see anything more if we'd be at the beach . . . we really should go there one of these days, for a Scooby day out," he said with a big grin.

"Ugh!" Buffy exclaimed, and quickly walked over to Willow; rather awkwardly trying to keep the torn clothes to cover everything up - except her ass; nothing big enough to wrap around.

"Oh, god this is embarrassing, we still have to go back home!" Willow said with wide eyes, looking down at her condition, "how are we going to get back home without everyone seeing us?"

"Change at the Library," Buffy said annoyed, "tree to tree, and Xander will have to say if the coast is clear."

"Sure, and you have my heartfelt apology for ripping up your-" Xander halted his speech as two pairs of eyes glared at him.

"Well, Xan, take a good look, and savor that hug, because you'll never get to touch it ever again," Buffy told Xander royally pissed off, making Xander look confused. "Willow and me are a couple now, we've making love regularly already, and we're only for each other now." Buffy nodded with satisfaction at that.

"What?" Xander said, a little hurt. He blinked several times, and then gave a laugh. Willow and Buffy didn't laugh. "No joke then. You're just saying that out of spite, right?"

"Nope," Willow told him with a glare, "spite is just the timing." The she moved over, and gave Buffy a passionate kiss, that the Slayer returned. Xander watched shocked, and notice how easy and comfortable the love flowed between the two: they really were a couple. It partly broke his heart, partly made him relieved, and partly felt happy for his two best friends.

"Congratulations, guys," Xander said a little forlorn, and remembered the fun he had had in Tokyo with Lotion, and the stolen kisses. The Amazon was amazing as well, and he even felt warm and happy around her; just like he did with Buffy and Willow of course, so he was pretty sure his crush, budding love there, could blossom fully; so nothing was lost, not really.

"Quite staring, start guiding, you male," Buffy huffed at him, carefully holding the tatters to cover her private parts, and started walking.

"Okay," Xander said as they passed him by, and he turned round, looking directly at their buttocks; nicely on display. He smiled; two sexy butts. Willow and Buffy suddenly froze, realizing at the same time, and switched the torn clothes from front to back.

"Xander, front!" Willow said.

-----

Buffy and Willow quickly zipped behind a tree, and leaned against it with their back sides. They huffed, having made quick sprints from tree to tree, while being hunched over and covering up; and it had taken its toll. They looked past the tree. Across the street was the school. They had many a close call, but had made it so far. Xander arrived casually, smirking.

"Xander," Buffy admonished him, and then blushed, realizing the two of them had run over from the last tree without covering their backsides which had been pointing toward Xander. Willow next to her whimpered admonishments to herself that she should have noticed.

"Looking great, guys, one more street," Xander said, looking left and right, and then walking onward to go check out the side street, while Buffy and Willow remained grumbling frustrated at Xander's double meaning, and he was obviously aware as he chuckled lightly and shook his head.

"I'm gonna kill him," Buffy muttered in frustration, and waited. "Damn it, Xander! Can we go or not?"

"Hold on a bit, let me be-" Xander started.

"DAMN IT! MAKE UP YOUR MIND! CLEAR OR NOT!" Buffy screamed in frustration.

"Okay, clear!" Xander replied, and Buffy and Willow twisted along either side of the tree, and ran. They quickly zipped across the street, hoping nobody was looking in the houses behind them. Soon they reached the pavement on the other side, the school's parking lot was just in front of them, and the school grounds and building behind that.

With screeching tires a convertible came around the left corner, and then it slammed on the breaks. "AAH!" Buffy and Willow exclaimed in horror, quickly trying to turned around, and noticed Xander coming back into view from the same left on the parking lot. They'd be showing their ass to him again. They struggled to move the tatters to cover their asses, while still turning around, but the boys in the car were seeing, and would be seeing their panties from the front.

"WOOHOO!" one boy, standing tall in the now very slowly moving car yelled at Willow and Buffy. A lout cat whistle with two fingers followed from another.

"Oh, god!" Buffy exclaimed, while Willow whimpered. They had reached a patch of grass, and were trying to do multiple things at the same time, the soft ground gave and the two collided together, and threatened to fall. They grabbed a hold of each other to keep from falling, dropping the tatters, and looking shocked into each others eyes, showing of their bodies, clad in only shoes, socks, bras, and panties for all too see.

"OH YEAH, STRIPTEASE!" another of the boys screamed, obviously turned out.

"ROSENBERG! SUMMERS! WOW! YOU TWO WERE HOT BEFORE, NOW YOUR SCORCHING!" another yelled from the barely moving car.

"BABES, PLEASE MAKE THAT YOUR NEW SCHOOL ATTIRE!" the driver yelled, and the guys laughed out loud, before speeding off again.

Buffy and Willow looked wounded into each others eyes, and then heard more laughing, practically giggling. They looked up, glaring at Xander. "I'm sorry, it's just too-" Xander said, barely able to contain himself long enough to say that, his chest already shuddering with new laughter.

Glaring the two girls wanted to move to punish him, but still holding each other and half imbalanced, they went completely out of balance, and dropped unceremoniously to the grasp. Xander's laughter doubled in volume. "Ah!" Buffy complained, and then slumped in defeat.

Willow whimpered, growled, and then said vindictively, "When those four are at the Bronze, I'm so not going to dance, giving them a another show."

"Yeah," Buffy agreed, nodding, growing even more annoyed with the whole situation, and Xander's giggling in particular. Especially since . . . Buffy grabbed some tatters, and angrily shoved them in front of her, and said, "God damn it! You said it was clear!"

Xander slowed his laugher a bit, and shook his head, saying, "No, I wanted to say I wanted to make extra sure, but you demanded an answer right away. It seemed clear then."

Buffy fumed at him, growling, and then hissed at herself in defeat and self-depravation. "Let's just get to the spare clothes!" Buffy said, and helped Willow up, and then they quickly moved, Xander still chuckling.

-----

Buffy finished putting on a pair of slacks and came back out Giles' office. Willow was right behind her, and they rounded the counter. "Ah, that's better," Buffy said, and looked over at Xander who was leaning against the counter, sniffling. "Damn it, Xander," Buffy told him annoyed, "quit it already."

"I'm sorry," Xander said, but start laughing again; which he kept in him, but the jerking of his chest gave it away.

"What?" Willow asked with a sudden insight. Xander giggled as he kept his lips closed. While Buffy looked confused at Willow, still angry at Xander. "What, damn it? What's still so funny?"

"Okay, okay," Xander said, holding his hands up in defeat, "I just think it's funny how easily you agreed with Buffy's plan. Couldn't you just have cast a glamour to give the illusion you were wearing clothes?"

Willow and Buffy were suddenly rooted to the floor, wrapping their minds around what Xander said, Buffy growing more depressed by the moment. Willow closed her eyes though, anger growing. "Wait," Buffy said, realizing what Willow had known right away, "if you find it so funny still, you must have known-"

"XANDER HARRIS!" Willow shrieked, and burst forward. She jumped Xander and grabbed him by the throat, squeezing. Xander dropped down to his ass and further with the sudden impact, even as he burst out laughing again, fully, loudly. Xander laughed, even as Willow squeezed and yelled, "You let us do that stupid while . . . aah!" Xander laughed, and Buffy came forward, a little concerned Willow might actually be trying to kill Xander. Willow wasn't though, she let go of his throat, sitting up, and clenched her teeth in frustration. She brought her fists up, and slammed then down on Xander's chest in her frustration, without really any power behind it. She was frustrated at Xander's laughing, and at him keeping the solution to him, but she was mostly frustrated at something welling up inside her, something she did not want to let. This whole thing was bad, it was not a laughing matter. But still the event replayed in her mind; sprinting, hiding, shrieking, trying to keep covered, switching, almost getting caught twice, the whole event with the boys in the car - like a bunch of morons in a slapstick movie, and they could have just casually walked over, or even just home without a care in the world. She landed her fists on Xander's chest again, and a chuckle escaped. The damn burst in Willow burst out laughing, giggling, sniffling, tears forming with the intensity of it.

Buffy paused centimeters away from the two, and looked incredulously at both of them laughing. Willow even! And she had gone through it. "Well," Buffy said with a huff, and folded her arms across her chest with her annoyance. "This isn't funny!" she then exclaimed as the pair didn't stop.

Willow looked over, still laughing, and laughing harder as she saw the frowning Buffy, then she and Xander laughed harder even as Buffy started pouting as a result. "Yes, it is, Buffy, yes it is," Willow snickered out.

"No, it's not," Buffy said, but feeling laughter grow in her as well. She tried to refuse it, but the absurdity of the situation was getting to her. Soon she was giggling and laughing as well, and let herself drop to the floor, enveloping her friends in a hug, shaking with laughter.

After a while, their laughter died down a bit, and then Willow nudged Buffy twice with her elbow. Buffy looked up and Willow said, "Not dancing in the Bronze? With the way we gave it away, we should just go to their homes and give them free lapdances."

And their laughter started all over again. When their laughter started slowing again, Xander said, "They're probably going to tell everyone what they saw! Everyone in school will know!" And they started laughing again.

Not for long, because Buffy suddenly stopped laughing, frowned, and said, "Hey, that's actually not funny at all." A moment later Willow stopped her laughter as well, and Xander followed suit.

They looked at each other and then Willow enveloped Xander in a hug which he returned, and Buffy hugged them too. "I'm glad you're back, I missed you, Xander," Willow said happily.

"I missed you guys too," Xander replied, and they hugged close.

-----

Cordelia and Oz were sitting next to each other in the library. Across from them were Buffy and Willow. Lotion sat to the right of Cordelia, and across from her sat Xander. Giles was standing at the head of the table, with Jenny next to him. He had his arms around the beautiful woman's waist, and was obviously happy. "Ah, it is good we are all here-" Giles started.

Xander interrupted him, "Yes, indeed! May the forces of darkness tremble in fear, and give up on their nefarious plans, for the Scooby Gang is reunited once more, and all the evildoers will be stopped in their tracks - by a big talking dog!" Xander had everyone tittering with chuckles and laughter, apart from Giles who smiled, and . . .

"As a dog, I don't talk, actually," Oz interjected smoothly.

Xander looked over, and slumped theatrically as all the girls burst into giggles, even Lotion, who usually didn't laugh at American jokes. "Drat, the limelight stolen by the coolness of the werewolf, hmm, perhaps Oz, you have switched over to the dark side since you cross me so."

"Just that cool," Oz returned, and the girls laughed again, and Xander grinned.

"He is," Cordelia confirmed and kissed Oz quickly but lovingly on his cheek.

Giles pulled the glasses from his face, and cleaned them, taking on an overly overbearing tone, "I see the obligatory dumb jokes are over with." The Scoobies chuckled, and Giles reset his glasses. "As I was saying; after the weekend, the new school year starts, and it's good to be gathered here, so we may catch up on events that have happened to us over the weeks, allowing us to freshly start the new year, keep the world safe once more, and excel in our academics."

Everyone but Jenny looked at him. "This is Jenny's idea, isn't it?"Buffy concluded for everyone.

"I beg your pardon?" Giles spoke culturedly.

Willow smiled, and explained, "It's just you stiff upper lip types don't have the whole let's-talk-happily vibe going."

"That's putting it mildly," Lotion said with a scowl. She was about to go off on one of her tangents, but Giles intervened.

"Of course we do - it's called a tea party, every day at four sharp," Giles stated his British accent to full, "I just put it earlier to accommodate the retarded schedule of you Americans." Jenny chuckled, while the retarded Americans looked at him a little surprised.

"The Giles aims, shoots, and kills us all with one shot; without even using a single 'bloody' or direct name-calling, we have much to learn yet, my fellow padawans," Xander said sagely, gaining as many confused stares as laughter, sometimes both.

"Padawans?" Lotion asked in confusion, making Buffy look at the brunette for heading her off.

"Star Wars - Jedi in training," Oz explained smoothly.

"As I was saying," Giles redirected the conversation to him with a suffering sigh, "I might as well start. Let's see, oh yes, after being unceremoniously dumped in a hospital bed, I spent some three weeks cooped up in there. If British hospital food is bad, American is poison. Luckily for me, Jenny here opted to continue the nursing once I got home - much better cook for one thing. Sadly the injuries kept me from doing much more than getting better, and so I am once again spring as a jiffy."

"Spring as a /what/?" Cordelia exclaimed in confusion.

"Jiffy," Giles answered with a sigh.

"What does that mean, 'jiffy'?" Buffy asked confused.

"Nothing," Jenny quickly interrupted before that derailed all this again, "which also nicely sums up what I can add to Giles story; I spent nursing him back to health." Jenny smirked predatory.

"I'm sure the nurse outfits are easy to wash," Cordelia commented dryly, much to Buffy and Willow's shock, while Jenny colored slightly.

"Lotion, how about you first, then we go clockwise," Jenny suggested with a smile, to keep everyone from Cordelia's statement.

"Okay," Lotion started happily, and straightened up to deliver her tale. "Mom and I went on vacation, and Nerima is nuts." There were several frowns, as they wondered where they heard 'Nerima' before. "I didn't arrive, or I had to save Xander from a bunch of freaks outnumbering him! That halfwit with the wooden sword one of them!"

Buffy jumped up out her chair, and screamed angrily, "YOU WENT TO JAPAN AFTER XANDER, YOU CHEATING BITCH!"

Everyone but Lotion looked at Buffy's outburst with wide-eyed surprised. "I no cheat, pig-nosed girl!" Lotion growled back, getting up herself. "Rules say nothing of having vacation where Xander has vacation!"

"Why you- . . .?" Buffy started growling, but Willow grabbed her by the waist admonishing her to stop.

"Come on," Willow said softly, "it isn't like it matters anymore."

With Buffy still grumbling, and partly trying to get at the Amazon, Lotion told her, "Bring it on, bottle blondie, you'll find I've gotten stronger and better of the weeks, I'll-"

"Ahem!" Giles interrupted, making especially the fighting chicks look over at him. As a result Buffy was less inclined to stay, making Willow's yanks enough to dump the Slayer unceremoniously back into her seat. "I do believe the saying goes, 'All's fair in love and war.' So if you two could keep your threats and interruptions aside, we may continue to hear Lotion's story."

Lotion nodded with satisfaction at Buffy. Cordelia said, "Yeah, that only takes extra time, and I've got better things to do than sit here with a bunch of losers like you." Multiple glares were directed his way.

"Can we get back to the story already?" Xander asked exasperated at the whole deal.

"Yes, Lotion, please continue," Jenny added in, and gestured to the Amazon.

Lotion sat back down, and pondered for a moment. "Where was I? Oh, yeah! I had to beat the crap out of a love-struck dimwit, who was in love with Xian Pu! Shampoo is my nemesis back home, apparently she got defeated by male Ranma and you guys knows what that means. Anyway, I beat her! I beat her easily; I hadn't beaten her in years! All because of training with you and Xander!" Lotion explained happily.

Buffy leaned over and muttered under her breath to Willow, "Of course, the dumb Amazon gets all excited about fighting."

Willow looked at Buffy in a strange way as Lotion went on about defeating Shampoo, and then doing it a second time. "What's gotten into you, all of a sudden?" Willow asked Buffy a little confused. "Is this your time of the month or something? You're the Slayer, you get just as excited about fighting as she does. Perhaps even more so."

"I do not," Buffy whispered back.

Willow leaned further and hand in front of her mouth to Buffy's ear she said, "Oh, am I just hallucinating how much more horny and ferocious a lay you are, after a slay." Buffy looked at Willow with a shocked look, surprised Willow had noticed her dark secret; of course, she wondered how she thought Willow wouldn't have noticed with the mindblowing sex. "Hey, that rhymes," Willow added with a surprised grin. Then they both stopped, and felt a little uncomfortable. It was silent too. They payed more attention to the group and noticed everyone looking at them with their arms folded across their chest. Except for Oz, because he was too cool to fold his arms across his chest, and just looked at them relaxedly.

"You two done? I like to continue," Lotion said with a glower.

Willow and Buffy blushed, backed up - the chairs soundly moving a bit - and gave nervous smiles.

"Thank you," Lotion said with finality, and obviously not meaning. Lotion then continued her tale, telling of the weirdness of Nerima, of the old geezer often trying to steal her underwear, or at least grope her everywhere, of Ukyo's love potion-spiked okonomiyaki, of the explorations of Tokyo with Xander, and the occasional fantastic date in fantastic clubs, and may Shampoo win the contest for Ranma's heart, so the great, friendly, manly guy could tame the bitch once and for all.

"Ah, isn't that a bit harsh?" Jenny asked the Amazon a little perturbed.

"No, Shampoo needs taming more than pig-nosed girl and the queen of penis-envy over there," Lotion replied to the question with an innocent grin.

"Listen, you big-boobed bimbo . . . !" Cordelia started with a snarl.

"Yours are bigger than mine," Lotion smoothly interjected.

Cordelia was about ready to burst, and told the girl, "If there's anyone who needs taming it's you, you violence-prone harpy. And if Xander doesn't start soon, I- . . ."

"I wouldn't mind," Lotion interjected again, this time looking at Xander with a sexy grin, eliminating Cordelia's insult with the same stone as the well-aimed flirtatious one. Giles was cleaning his glasses once again, shaking his head at the proceedings.

"Cordelia, you and Oz's turn," Jenny quickly said, before this got even worse.

"Fine," Cordelia spat out, folding her arms across her chest. She took a deep breath to calm herself, and then said, "Me and Oz we didn't do much, apart from hanging out, kissing, and shopping. Oz is such a good boyfriend, he could even help me fashion questions! Oh, and there was that week that dad took us with him to Paris. He had business to attend to, and we could explore the city of lights and love!"

"'We didn't do much,' she says," Willow whispered to Buffy in annoyance and some jealousy. Buffy nodded in agreement.

"Now that's a city with class, and great food, and fantastic clubs, the Eiffel tower, the history, not like dingy Sunnydale here; almost felt bad about being home," Cordelia added with a dreamy look.

"It was exhilarating," Oz confirmed.

"Yes," Giles said with a smile, "Europe has some fine cities to offer, and Paris in particular is magnificent."

"Tokyo was better," Lotion said, feeling the need to one up Cordelia.

"No, it wasn't," Cordelia went against her.

"Of course it was, even if all the other things in Paris were better, Tokyo had Xander," Lotion said with conviction, making Xander squirm uncomfortable and the grown ups look incredulous.

"Paris had Oz, and he trumps dork face over there, anytime," Cordelia returned heatedly.

Before Lotion could make demands, Giles quickly said, "Buffy, I believe it's your turn."

"Our turn," Willow corrected lightly, while Lotion and Cordelia kept glowering at each other.

"Yeah," Buffy agreed with a smile, "Our turn. We've spent our vacation together mostly. We'd had a lot of fun. Going out, just us girls-"

Willow cut in with a grin, "Driving boys crazy with hot sexy dances in tight leather." Xander gave them a thumbs up, while Giles felt the urge to clean his glasses again. Jenny instead smile and wrapped her arms around his waist and kept him from getting too uncomfortable, by making him less uncomfortable in a different way.

"That too," Buffy said with a smile, and Giles looked up at the heavens for a moment, "we made many a trip to our loved, injured Giles, kept him fed with better food than the hospital: hamburgers." Giles looked uncomfortable, and Xander laughed.

"Still less than English hospital food," Giles said, with a regal tone and stance.

As the giggles and chuckles died down, Buffy took over again. "But what the real big thing is that happened, some of you already know, or have at least suspect. We-"

"I think this is something we show, not tell," Willow interrupted, making Buffy turned to her with a surprised look. Willow took Buffy's head by her chin, and lovingly and quickly pulled her over, then kissed her deeply; and then some more deeply. Their tongues met and Buffy was swept up in the sensations and passion. Xander smiled, Cordelia rolled her eyes, Oz remained cool - outward at least, Giles eyes widened, Jenny didn't look surprised, but obviously hadn't 'known known', and Lotion looked with wide eyes.

"Oh, get a room, you two, you would make the end of the world an excuse to make out like a bunch of lust-crazed rabbits. It's getting old, real fast," Cordelia complained with a suffering sigh.

Lotion switched her look from the couple to Xander, back again, and then back to Xander. He smiled at her, and gave her a blink, with a barely perceptible nod. She smiled, while inside she was jumping for joy, screaming, -Yes! Yes! Yes! I won!- to herself.

Buffy and Willow broke the kiss, Buffy sitting back a little flustered. "We fell in love, we're a couple," Willow clarified with a smile, as if there was any doubt left.

"Ah, well, I believe congratulations are in order," Giles managed through being flabbergasted, wondering what his would mean to the grand scheme of things. "Congratulations, Buffy, Willow."

"Yes! Absolutely!" Lotion said happily, grinning widely now. "Congratulations! You're made for each other! I know it'll be an immortal love, sung about in ages to come. You're love will change the world! No more anti-homosexual hate-mongering just because of you, that's how much you will be loved. Stick together, you guys can do it!"

"You're just glad we're off the Xander-market," Buffy ruefully accused the Amazon with a glare.

"Absolutely!" Lotion didn't bother denying it.

"I think it's Xander's turn," Cordelia said with her arms once again folded across her chest, annoyed.