"Roger, wake up." Brenda said shaking Roger out of his sleep.
"What's the matter? Is it time?" he asked turning over.
"No, something's wrong." she said looking down at him as she caressed her belly.
"What do you mean something's wrong?" he asked sitting up.
"I haven't felt the baby kick since last night. I think there's something wrong." she said looking over at him.
"What do you mean you haven't felt him kick since last night? Didn't he kick earlier?" he asked looking over at her worried.
"No Roger, he didn't kick earlier. If he kicked earlier do you think I would be waking you up at 4 in the morning?" she yelled starting to cry.
"Baby, calm down. I'm gonna call the hospital and see what they say. Just keep trying to get his attention. Maybe he's just sleeping." he said caressing her belly before getting out of bed to call the hospital.
"Roger, hurry, OK? I'm really scared." she said looking up at him as he went into the living room to the phone.
"What's going on?" Collins asked coming out of his room.
"Brenda hasn't felt the baby kick since last night. I'm calling the hospital to see what they say." Roger said looking up at him.
"Is she sure?" he asked looking down at him.
"I don't know, but she's scared. Collins nothing can be wrong with this baby. Him and Brenda are my life." Roger told him with tears in his eyes.
"It's OK man. I'm gonna go in and check on our girl, OK?" he said putting his hand on Roger's shoulder.
"That's a good idea. I don't want her to be alone." Roger said wiping his eyes as he picked up the phone.
"You can count on me." he said before rushing into their bedroom. "What's all the commotion Babygirl? Some of us are trying to sleep." he tried joking as he entered the room.
"Something's wrong with the baby Collins. I can't feel him." she cried looking up at him.
"It's gonna be OK Baby. Just stay calm." he yelled from the living room running his fingers through his hair.
"Come on baby boy. Give mommy a kick, OK?" she said looking down at her belly. The more she poked her belly the more upset she was getting when she felt nothing in return.
"Come on little man. Give mommy one of your world famous super kicks, OK?" Collins said looking down at her belly. As they sat in the bed trying to coax a kick out of the baby Roger rushed into the bedroom.
"What did they say?" she asked looking up at him.
"Get dressed. They want us to go in so they can do an ultra sound." he told her rushing around the room getting clothes out of the dresser for the two of them.
"I'm gonna go get dressed too. I'm going with you." Collins said kissing Brenda's head before rushing into his room.
As Roger tossed the clothes on the bed, he noticed Brenda started crying more. "Baby, we can't jump to conclusions, OK? They just want to do the ultra sound so they can confirm that he's just sleeping. It's gonna be OK." he said going over to her side of the bed.
"You don't know that Roger. What if something is wrong with him? I can't lose him Roger. He's our baby." she cried looking up at him.
"We're not gonna lose him Brenda. Don't talk like that." he said pulling her close to him as he fought his own tears. "Now come on. We have to get dressed." he said as they got dressed.
"Let's go Babygirl." Collins called out from the living room as Roger helped Brenda out of the bedroom and they rushed to the hospital. They got into an examing room and Brenda laid down on the table.
"Let's see what we have here." the doctor said as he entered the room.
"I haven't felt him kick since I went to bed last night. I figured he was just sleeping." Brenda said looking up at him as he turned the ultra sound machine on.
"Let's see." he said as he put the receptor on her belly and began rolling it around.
"How come it's so quiet?" Brenda asked as Roger sat next to her holding her hand.
"I don't see a heart beat Brenda." the doctor said looking up at the screen.
"What do you mean you don't see a heart beat? Find a heart beat." Roger told him looking up with tears in his eyes.
"What does that mean? What does he mean?" Brenda asked looking up at Roger as tears streamed down the side of her face.
"I'm sorry Roger and Brenda. It looks like you're baby is gone. He died." he said looking down at them as Roger laid his head on the bed next to her.
"No. No. No. That can't be. How could this happen?" Roger asked crying now looking up at the doctor.
"Sometimes these things happen. I'm so sorry. After he's born we'll do an autopsy to see if there was a defect." the doctor said quietly as Brenda looked up at him crying.
"I have to give birth to him? I don't think I can do it." she cried looking up at him.
"I'm sorry Brenda. We'll have to induce you. It should take anywhere from 8-12 hours. Again, I'm sorry. I'll get the nurse to set you up with an IV." he said before leaving the room.
"Roger, our baby is gone. How could this happen?" she asked crying looking over at him.
"I don't know Baby." he said quietly taking her into his arms.
"Why did this happen? What did I do wrong?" she asked with her head buried in his chest.
"You didn't do anything wrong Baby. You've been perfect. You've been eating everything they told you to eat, you take your vitamins and you exercise. You heard the doctor, sometimes these things happen." he cried rocking her back and forth. The nurse came in and put an IV into Brenda's arm. Her labor lasted nearly 18 hours. By the time it was over she was exhausted both physically and emotionally. As she delivered the baby both she and Roger cried.
"I see what happened. He was so active, he wrapped the umbilical cord right around his neck." the doctor said as he delivered the baby.
"He's beautiful Baby." Roger cried looking down at his still born son.
"I don't want to see him. I can't." she cried looking away from him.
"Brenda, you have to see him." he cried as the doctor put the baby into his arms. "He's gorgeous." he said looking down at her.
"Roger, please. I can't." she cried still not looking at him.
"How is she?" Collins asked looking down at Roger as he stood outside the hospital.
"Not good. She won't even look at him. He's beautiful Collins. You should see him." Roger cried as Collins wrapped his arms around him to comfort him.
"It's OK man. Let it out." he told him quietly before Roger pulled away.
"No, I have to stay strong for Bren. She needs me." he said wiping his eyes.
"You need to mourn Roger. He's your son too." he told him putting his hand on his shoulder.
"Yeah well, Brenda needs me more right now. You should see her Collins. She won't look at me or the baby." he told him holding back tears.
"She needs to see him. She needs closure." he said looking down at him.
"I know, I gotta go back inside. I have to try to get her to hold him. They're probably gonna take him away soon." he said wiping his face again before going back in the hospital. When Roger got back to Brenda's room, he picked up the baby and sat in the chair on the other side of the room where Brenda couldn't see them.
"Mr. Davis, we're gonna need to move your wife soon and when we move her, we'll need to take the baby to the morgue." the nurse whispered as Roger sat in the chair holding the baby in his arms and Brenda lay facing the wall.
"Thank you." he whispered getting up to put the baby into the bassinet. "Bren, did you hear her? Once they take the baby, he's gone. You really need to see him." he told her quietly walking across the room to sit next to her bed.
"I can't Roger. I just can't." she cried looking up at him.
"Baby, I know you don't think you can, but you have to. You need to see him. You need to hold him. He's our baby and he's gone. And once they take him away, he's gone for good and you're gonna regret not holding him for the rest of your life." he whispered taking her hand.
"Roger, how could this happen? Our baby is dead." she cried as he leaned forward taking her in his arms.
"I don't know Baby. But you need to say good bye to our son." he whispered caressing her hair.
"OK Roger. I'll see him." she cried looking up at him. He got up and went across the room to get the baby.
"Here he is." he told her quietly before handing her the baby. As he handed him to her, they both cried.
"He looks just like you." she cried caressing her sons face.
"We need to give him a name Bren." he said wiping his face as he sat next to her.
"I wanna name him after you. Roger Michael Davis." she cried looking down at the baby.
"OK Baby. We can do that." he cried wrapping his arms around her.
"I love you Roger Michael Davis Jr." she whispered before kissing his head. The nurse came in to move Brenda and take the baby to the morgue. Brenda got out of the hospital after a couple of days. She and Roger rarely talked. She stayed in bed mourning the death of her son as Roger worked to keep his mind of his own grief. They attended their sons funeral and he was cremated. Roger hid his ashes away so it wouldn't upset Brenda.
"Babygirl, are you OK?" Collins asked quietly as he knocked on her bedroom door.
"Yeah, I'm OK Collins." she answered laying on the bed just staring at the pictures of her and Roger that were around the room.
"You two look so happy. And young." he smiled picking up one of the pictures and bringing it over to the bed.
"We were stupid kids. We had no idea what real life was." she said not looking at him.
"Babygirl, he loves you, you know? I know you two just suffered a horrible loss, but you have each other. Don't shut him out, OK?" he said sitting next to her.
"I'm not shutting him out. He just doesn't understand what it's like. One minute my son was beating the crap out of me from the inside and then next minute he's dead." she cried looking up at him.
"I know Brenda, but he's feeling it too. And on top of losing your son, he has to watch the woman he loves more than anything on earth suffer and he can't do anything about it." he told her putting his hand on her back.
"I don't know Collins. He thinks he can fix this and he can't. Nothing can fix this emptiness I feel inside." she cried as he leaned down to pick her up into his arms.
"I know Babygirl, but he loves you so much. He wants to be able to fix it for you." he whispered as she cried in his arms.
"But he can't. Nobody can fix this." she said looking up at him before wiping her face and getting up.
"Where are you going?" he asked looking up at her.
"I just need to go out. If Roger comes home, can you just tell him I'm around the corner. I needed to get out of the loft." she said brushing her hair.
"Do you want me to come with?" he asked looking up at her.
"No, I think I need to be by myself for a little while." she said looking down at him.
"OK. Just be careful, OK?" he said looking up at her.
"I will." she said starting to leave before turning around. "Um Collins." she called out looking over at him.
"I love you too Babygirl." he smiled before she turned around and left the loft. When Roger got home, Collins told him what happened. He picked up his keys and started to leave the loft.
"Roger, what are you gonna do?" Collins asked looking over at him.
"I'm gonna go bring my wife home where she belongs." he said turning to him.
"Roger, just don't promise her that everything is gonna be OK, alright? She knows it will be in time, but right now she can't see it yet." he said looking over at him.
"I just want to be able to fix this for her Collins. I don't like seeing her like this." Roger said looking over at him.
"I know, but this is something that only time can fix. It's beyond your control. Just tell her you love her and you're there for her." he said looking over at him.
"I do love her. I love her so much Collins. I've loved her since the first second I saw her running out of her mothers house in Long Island." he said looking over at him.
"So just tell her that. She needs to hear it." he told him.
"I will. Thanks Collins." he smiled before running out of the loft.
"No problem man." Collins whispered before sitting on the couch looking up at the pictures of Roger and Brenda that were hanging in the living room.
When Roger got to the bar, he saw Brenda shooting back shots of something. She was drunker than he had ever seen her. "Bren, what are you doing?" Roger asked as he entered the bar.
"Roger, hey. This is my wonderful husband Roger." she slurred smiling up at Roger as he approached her.
"Brenda, are you gonna spend all night in here?" he asked looking down at her.
"Maybe. I can't go home. I can't be there anymore." she said bringing her drink up to her lips before Roger took it out of her hands. "Roger, what the hell? That's mine." she yelled looking up at him.
"Brenda, we have to go home now. You're trashed." he said looking down at her.
"Yeah well, I have good reason. I lost my baby and if I'm sober that's all I think about." she said starting to cry.
"I know Baby. But we have to get through this together." he told her sitting next to her.
"I can't Roger. I screwed up. It's my fault." she cried looking up at him.
"Brenda, this is not your fault. How could you think this is your fault?" he asked putting his arms around her.
"He was in me. It was my responsibility to take care of him and he died. Maybe if I didn't play with him so much. You know, poke him and stuff." she said as he brought her to his chest.
"Baby, this is not your fault. You heard the doctor, these things happen sometimes. It's no one's fault. Baby, please. Come home." he asked kissing her head.
"Can we just sit here for a little while? Please?" she asked looking up at him as tears continued to stream down her face.
"Sure Baby. We can do that." he whispered kissing her head again. "I love you Brenda. I've always loved you. Us losing our son is not gonna change that." he told her quietly kissing her head again.
"I love you too Roger." she cried holding him tight around his waist. When they finally got home, Roger helped her to bed before sitting in the living room with Collins.
"Is she OK?" Collins asked looking up at him.
"She is now, but I can't say she will be in the morning. She was doing shots." he told him putting his head back on the couch before bringing his hands up to rub his face.
"She's only doing it to forget him, you know." Collins said looking down at him.
"Yeah, I know. But I don't want her to forget him. He's our son and we love him. We shouldn't forget him." he said looking over at him.
"Right now it's just easier for her to forget him. She'll get better, but right now she needs to forget him." he said looking over at him.
"I know, but I hate seeing her like this. She used to be so full of life. We used to play in the ocean for hours together. Splashing and kissing and just talking. Seeing her like this is killing me." he said looking up at him with tears in his eyes.
"I know man, but it'll get better. You have to believe that." he said looking over at him.
"I hope so. I don't know how much more of this she can take." he said looking towards the bedroom door where Brenda slept.