Chapter Five-The Eye of Armentarii

Sheppard was sweating as he knelt on the floor. He had fallen to the ground as he struggled against Sophistides. Damn you. I will not go back there. You have no right.

Don't let me Sheppard. They will seek it out. They will show you worse and it will hurt much worse. Do not lose focus. Block me out and I will leave you alone.

Get the hell out! Sheppard shouted in his head to the old man. He was tired. Exhausted really and he just wanted to go to sleep. He didn't want to play make my brain a marshmallow and learn all the freaking secrets I have kept hidden even from myself game! He wrapped himself around his anger then finally just decided he wasn't taking this crap anymore. He drew a mental line in the sand and got pissed. He started imagining a barrier that he built around those memories he despised. It worked for a while but he felt the old man working his way around it. Sheppard changed tactics then. He started doing math puzzles. He built a maze of math around the memories. Level upon level and he lost himself in the experience. He felt his mind wrapping itself around those memories and images and put them in a math maze. The old man would have to answer them correctly if he wanted to get any closer to him. Rodney would be amazed at this, he thought. He did not know how long he had been doing it as he was aware only of the numeric images in his head. Then he stopped and pushed back against the other mind. How about that Yoda! Suddenly, he felt the presence gone. He looked up at the old man from his hands and knees. Sophistides looked tired. Sheppard stood up somewhat shakily and brushed the dust off of his hands and his clothes. Damn, he went through clothes quick on this planet.

The old man was looking at him. "You are ready my lord Sheppard. I cannot teach you anything else to help with the transfer." The old man sounded fatigued and looked a bit older as he slumped in his chair.

Sheppard was tired. Really tired and his head hurt. He was not sure if he could listen to anything right now that he would have to remember. He looked up half expecting Sophistides to have read his mind. But no answer came.

"Can we do that part after dinner?" Sheppard finally asked.

"Yes my lord. It is important for you to rest. I suggest that you eat alone and sleep as much as you can. I will have Samsus wake you for dinner."

Sheppard left the room and headed to his quarters. Samsus was waiting for him with a plate of food. How did the man do that? "Thanks Sam. I will see you in a few hours."

Sam nodded quietly. Sheppard ate then sat on his couch. He had started to read the history of Evander from a book Saphides had given him. He had not gotten to the part about loving horses. That was a fun ride this morning, but he could not wait to get back in the air again. Just have to get through the tomorrow first.

He set the book down and closed his eyes. Could he really be descended from this guy? He knew that he looked different than many of the folk here. They stared at him because he was at least six inches taller. Most of them had red or blonde or a combination of somewhere in between and many did not reach more than 5'8" with a few closer to 5'10'' with most of those being in the guardian families. And although there was some with brown hair he did not see them readily. No wondered they stared. Towering dark haired man. Maybe it was like the queen of Sweden marrying the King of Spain back in Evander's time. The King of Spain would stand out a little bit in Sweden. He remembered a friend of his talk about his experience when he was stationed in Turkey. He said that he and his wife and kids were like a freak show because they were blonde and tall. That is how Sheppard felt. One big freak show. He closed his eyes. We'll find out tomorrow. He soon dozed off and woke only at dinner when Samsus had quietly set a tray of food next to him.

He met with Sophistides after the light dinner. They reviewed the ceremony for tomorrow. Ever the one to get to the bottom line, he broke down the hour lesson into: 1) Walk up to the statue and pick out a rock. 2) Fight the bad stuff in your mind. 3) Focus on acquiring the information. Game Over and you win. When asked, which rock, Sophistides only shrugged and said Sheppard would know. After he was done, he decided to walk out to the stable and visit Zorthos.

The horse nearly ran through the rail when he saw him. "Can't go out right now buddy," Sheppard whispered as the horse put his muzzle to his nose. He snorted as Sheppard scratched under his chin. The horse looked at him with lazy eyes. Suddenly it jerked its head up and looked toward the stable entrance.

Sheppard turned and saw a familiar figure. He smiled. He had not spent much time with his friends the last two days. They knew him better than so many except maybe now the old mind bending wise man. "Hey Teyla" He called cheerfully. "Come meet Zorthos. He's apparently my horse."

Teyla Emmagan walked up next to Sheppard and peered in the stall. "He is beautiful John!" she exclaimed quietly. "You said he was yours?" Zorthos eyed her suspiciously then decided that she was worth investigating since his master did not seem frightened or annoyed by her.

"Yup, that's what the stabler Eileron said."

"Why is he black and the others are white?"

"Something about a gene meant to be passed down generation-ally."

She said nothing as she thought about his comment. "One horse for the heir of Evander."

"That's it. Although he has a son running around here somewhere."

She wanted to ask him how he was doing. He acted as if nothing bothered him. Nothing ever seemed to truly bother him. He got angry, excited and laughed with them. But worry did not seem to be part of his make-up at least not the kind of debilitating worry. She knew if he was concerned he would quickly find a solution. She had never seen him truly sad, although surely he must feel this as well. She had seen it in his eyes at times but he quickly hid it. She drew her hand away from the horse and looked at him.

"John, how are you doing?"

He looked at her with a suspicious smile. "Did they all send you to ask me that? I mean did you get the short straw?

Ronan and Rodney had been asking about him but she suggested that she check on him since they were busy with other things and Sheppard himself was preparing for the transfer and probably would benefit from little disturbance. They had reluctantly agreed to let her check on their team leader and offer encouragement. Ronon did not seem too disturbed by the whole situation but Rodney despite his excitement with the many things for him to explore, was worried about the transfer. "You know Golden Boy and ancient devices. Sometimes they cause more trouble," he had said. She found herself reassuring Rodney as well despite her own trepidation. She had waited until his training was done and sought him out.

"Actually, Dr. Weir is quite busy with negotiations, Rodney is beside himself exploring the technology and Ronon has made friends with the infantry commander and they are exchanging ideas. They all appear quite busy. But I am sure that they are concerned about you," she added quickly.

He looked at her concerned now. "Are you okay? I mean what've you been doing?"

Are you okay? He always thought of others before himself. She had heard him ask that so many times even when he was not okay. "Me oh yes. I am enjoying getting to know these people. They have some advanced farming techniques that could be very useful to my people. Stop changing the subject."

He knew he couldn't fool her. "I wasn't meaning to change the subject. I am doing fine and ready to get this over with tomorrow."

"Are you frightened?" I am frightened for you.

They walked out into the garden. Some horses stood just off to a side pasture. They lifted their heads to inspect the intruders then began grazing again. "Yeah a little. Never stopped me before though. I just figured one day you die. You don't know when, so you just take risks when the benefits are great. You work hard to try to stay alive. I mean I do not want to die or become a vegetable, but the potential for what might happen is too great."

She looked up at him and stared into his hazel eyes. He did not experience fear the way others did. He used it as a motivation to live and do things. He knew that his fear was losing those he cared for. He would do anything for them. He did not turn away from her and just kept looking into her eyes. Her heart raced. She looked away from him. "I am afraid for you John." She said finally.

She heard him sigh then he did something he did not often do. He held her. She had come to comfort him yet there he was reassuring her. "Thanks Teyla. I know you are. It will be alright. I just have a feeling." He released her and smiled. "You know once I get all this transferring stuff over with, I am going to be tons smarter than Rodney, but he won't know it. Actually, I think I won't know it. I mean I won't know how to access all that stuff. Anyway."

She laughed at him. "It is best for Dr. McKay to not know that you may be more intelligent once this is over."

He nodded in agreement. Then looked at her wide eyed as he remembered something. "Hey Sam left something that resembles chocolate cake in my room for later. Want some?"

She laughed again. She cherished that slightly wild sparkle in his eye. A boy sometimes in a grown man's body. "I hope it is as good as the one you brought back from Earth the last time." She said as she tried to slow her heart rate down. He was her friend and comrade, but it was hard to not care for him...to even wish sometimes...under different circumstances. She put her hand in the crook of his arm and they walked off laughing and wishing they also had some sweet tea, something she had found quite enjoyable when she visited Earth the last time.

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John woke up. He felt well rested. He and Teyla had talked a long time last night and laughed even more as they recalled stories of some of the missions they had. He was glad she had looked for him. He changed into what Sam had set aside for him. All black today huh? He virtually wore the same thing everyday. Black pants, riding like boots and shirts of varying colors of silver blue or green. Sometimes he put away the clothes Sam had lay for him and wear his uniform. The man said nothing, but would make sure his uniform was laundered and back in his wardrobe the next day. The marines, ever impeccable, would approve of the crispness of it. But today black just all black.

He would forgo breakfast as the ceremony was in less than a half hour anyway. He wasn't hungry and he had to admit that he was a bit nervous. Felt like the last check ride he had to take before he graduated undergraduate pilot training. But he used that nervousness then just as he would now. Focus.

He knew what to expect and he visualized what he had to do just as he did before a mission. There was the soft chime of his room and he knew it was time. He took a deep diaphragmatic breath and slowly exhaled. Game time. Focus. He answered the door with a grin but that soon faded as he saw the solemnity around him. Damn this isn't a funeral. At least he hoped not.

Sophistides said nothing out-loud but looked at him. Come Sheppard. It is time to see if you truly are the son of Evander. He walked along side Sheppard as a small entourage followed behind. Where was his team? Outside waiting. You must focus and prepare now! Sheppard said nothing but began preparing his mind the way he had practiced. Checklists were easy for him and he had tons stored.

He stepped out from two large wooden doors into a large courtyard outside the temple where he trained with Sophistides. He did not notice anything but the large stone statue in front of him about 30 yards away. He just kept walking. Sophistides whispered instructions and encouragement to him, but he knew what he needed to do. He felt oddly calm all of a sudden. "When you are ready my lord," Sophistides said as he stopped about five yards away.

Teyla watched Sheppard step out from behind the doors toward the statue. She was nervous and uneasy. As usual he looked calm although his eyes were intense. A few minutes ago she had seen Saphides calm the energetic crowd. Within the courtyard walls, there was calm anticipation and whispering, but outside the walls, there were people on top of buildings and in trees eager to watch something they had waited for millennia. Eerily the crowd had grown silent once he entered the courtyard. All you could hear were his boots on the fine gravel. She watched the back of his neck where the point of his hair met his neck. Strangely it had been a focusing point for her when he led them through various dangers. Teyla, Ronon, McKay, Beckett whom Weir had come along just in case. The doctor had been very busy for the past day making preparations for possibly anything he could think of. The representatives of the families formed a circle around the statue but several yards back away from it. Only Sophistides moved closer to the statue.

Sheppard did not slow his step as he approached the statue. He could feel the rock already. It called to him in his mind with a sort of humming that was pleasant.

Teyla saw Sheppard grin when he approached the statue. He looked at peace even happy as he reached his hand out. She had seen this look before when she had seen him connect with Atlantis. Contentment.

Sheppard did not hesitate and stepped up to the surrounding platform and reached for the stone. He felt a strange sensation again before he even touched it, much like the dagger. The stone immediately glowed. He grabbed it gently and held it in his palm. It was smaller than he thought. The color was green with small brown swirls. The energy got stronger and suddenly a beam flashed from the stone through his right eye. Son of a bitch! He staggered back and gasped. The pain was worse than being fed upon by a bug or even a Wraith. He felt as if his brains were being pulled out of his head. God make it stop! He couldn't move, and could not do anything to make it stop. He just stood there in agony. Focus John. Open your mind. It won't last forever, you can make it, he told himself. He visualized the exercise that Sophistides had taught him. The images flooded in. He saw the history of Evander, this world, the journey to Earth, Ilian, the child. He saw his descendants on earth. He saw plans, and battles. He could hear the voice of Evander, see him in his mind. It just flooded in and it hurt like hell. He soon heard the Ancient tongue and realized that he understood it. Finally in a flash it stopped. How long a minute? He thought he had made it when he realized that the worst of it was going to happen next.

He tried to steel himself against the onslaught, but it was not long before the Enemy signature found him. He cried out in agony and fell to his knees as his brain screamed in pain. It traveled down his back and he felt as if now his back was slowing being ripped from him. He saw their history, how they organized and the many battles they fought with the Ancients. He fell from his knees to all fours as he felt how they fed and what it was like to be satiated. Then he heard them. They called out to him and tried to infiltrate his mind. He fell completely to the ground and writhed in pain as they assaulted him.

Teyla watched him fall to his knees and then all fours. She stepped forward but Ronon took a gentle hold of her hand. Sheppard was in agony. She saw this look before when the iratus bug fed off of him. She watched him cry out as he fell completely to the ground in an almost fetal position until he writhed with a new wave of pain of which she could not see the cause. He suffered and she could not help.

You are not one of us! You are the Enemy and we will destroy you and your progeny. Sheppard felt the pain through his chest and neck and felt as if he was choking. He put his free hand to his neck to pull off imaginary Wraith hands. He gagged as he saw them feed on thousands. He heard the scream of thousands of dying humans in his mind. Then he heard that voice again. Focus. He cried out again as the alien language and culture was burned into his brain. Suddenly the pain seemed to stop. He caught his breath then realized too late that it was a trap. Then the voice of a Wraith queen screamed "Evander! We have waited for you!" He tried to scream as they over powered him, but he couldn't. Until now, he had never felt so much pain so that he couldn't even make a sound. He lay on his stomach unmoving with his eyes open. A figure moved into his line of vision as he lay there.

Sophistides lay in front of Sheppard's face. He saw that he was losing... that the Wraith signature was taking him...saw the single tear on his cheek. Not now after all this time. "Push back!" he rasped, "Sheppard, push back. They are not real. The pain is temporary, but you must push back."

It took a while for a response. Perhaps his mind had been lost, but Sophistides still sensed him and yet something else. The younger man finally blinked a moment, looked frightened a quick second, then his eyes became dark. "You will be the first old man, whom I feed upon," he growled.

Sophistides heart turned cold. Please no. Not to him. He must not succumb. He had heard this infant cry, seen this child grow into the man destined to be the one to defeat the great enemy of this galaxy. They could not lose them. He could not lose this one. This one he considered like a son, as he had known him all his young life. "Push back John Sheppard, heir of Evander!" Sophistides said again. "You must fight back!"

Sheppard did not move. He had heard the voice calling him through the darkness and pain. He heard the voice that had probed his own mind, then provided comfort. He would not let them down, could not let them all down. Sophistides saw him blink then wince as he re-engaged the enemy signature as he assimilated all the information that had been saved about them.

Sheppard build the web. God it hurt, but he built the web. Faster and faster he built the web so that the Wraith voices got further and further away. He built a web around his memories and around the information he was acquiring. Sophistides could see the younger man struggle. He had become rigid and was whispering something. His shallow breath was visible in the cool air.

Sheppard opened his mind in a trap and his tormentors went in. Sons of bitches, I am not Evander, so go to hell! He felt them wither away as his mind enveloped who they were and filed them away somewhere in the abyss. He imagined them shredded like confetti and unable to organize again. It was over. He knew it was over this time. He could feel the cool gravel on his cheeks. The rock fell out of his hand. He lay there and realized that Sophistides was on the ground with him watching. He locked eyes with him.

Can you get up? The voice was gentle in his mind. Cool water in a parched desert.

No sir.

You must get up sire

I can't, it hurts too much.

Take your time but you must get up.

Teyla watched the still black form lying on the gravel. His head was turned away from her. He did not move for what seemed like an eternity. Could he be dead? Her heart jumped. Another minute then she saw Sophistides nod then rise slowly. Sheppard slowly moved to a kneeling position. She saw blood pour from his nose and also that his ears were bleeding. He turned to Sophistides who handed him something. Sheppard raised his hand to his face then handed it back to him. Suddenly in one motion he raised himself and stood taller than those around him. Everyone surrounding him and beyond the walls, knelt down. Teyla and the rest of the team followed suit awkwardly. Sheppard stared at the crowd around him then slowly raised his hands up in the air above his head and turned slowly in a circular motion. The crowd rose to their feet and erupted in roaring cheers. Teyla winced at the sound of it. After a few seconds he lowered his hands and quietly turned to the temple doors and walked the same path he had before. His expression was determined but otherwise unreadable. From beginning to end, only 10 minutes had passed. Thousands of years in 10 minutes.

The crowd was very quiet again as he walked away from them. She and the others followed behind him. "The king has returned!" She heard a voice boom and the crowd erupted in cheers again.

Sheppard walked through the doors and kept walking until they closed behind him. She could still hear the muffled cheers. She looked at him now. His shoulders were slumped and his eyes were pained. He could hold the act no longer. She saw fresh blood dripping from his nose. He looked at her briefly as Dr. Beckett was guiding him quickly to a side chamber. Sheppard's look was far distant and he was non responsive to Beckett's attempts to talk to him. She saw through the chamber door that he had begun to convulse soon after they laid him on the bed.

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Hopefully not getting too out there, but hey its sci fi and the Pegasus Galaxy. Anything is possible.

Every hero has to go through trials and a little suffering. I guess if they didn't then we would all think we could do it, but when they have to struggle and make it, then we hope we can do the same. Just my dumb random thought but my reasoning why Sheppard goes through a bunch in this story.