Bob now had his chance to say his goodbyes. He walked over to the polished coffin and put a bouquet of flowers on top. For a brief moment, he looked the coffin over before resting his head on it and sobbed. "Oh, Miriam, I love you. I miss you so much. Why did you have to go? Why didn't I see it? Why? Oh, God, it wasn't her time to go, it wasn't. Miriam, I still need you, I still love you." He spent the next five minutes crying, as any husband would have a right to for his dead wife. "Goodbye, Miriam." he whispered before going back to his spot in the small gathering. "H-Helga?"
She slowly walked over to the coffin her dead mother now lyed in. Helga looked across the street where Gerald and Arnold stopped on their bikes and watched with sorrowful faces. She looked up at the blue sky, seemingly laughing at her the same way her pink wall had. She looked at the faces watching her, at the dark green grass spread across the cemetery, then at the wooden box Miriam was in. She didn't know what to say, not even "Goodbye" seemed right. Helga didn't want her last moments with the only mother she had to be sour, but what do you say to someone who never loved you they way they should have? What "Goodbye" do you say to someone who was never really there? To a mother who was never really a mother? Instead, she just rubbed her hand over the shiny oak coffin and wondered if her mom was feeling ashamed herself right now, or if she was feeling ashamed of Helga. Maybe, she was in Heavan and it was so perfect there, that Miriam didn't even care about her former life on Earth. Helga walked back to her place without have spoken a word.
Across the street, Gerald was nudging Arnold. "I take back that comment I said the other day to Helga. I had no idea her mom died and I hate to say it, but even she didn't need that."
"Maybe we should go talk to her. You know, see if she's okay." Arnold propped his elbow on handle bars of his bike. "I wonder what Lila would say to her."
Gerald slowly turned his head over to Arnold and stared with a look of mild shock before grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking vigorously. "Arnold. Helga G. Pataki's mom is DEAD. The big bully of P.S.118 and Hillwood Jr. High, the one who finds nothing better to do then torment everyone else around her, the girl who spends all of first period making her spitball collection in your hair, is at the funeral of her mother and isn't saying a word, Arnold, not a word. She's not even crying. In fact, she's not doing anything, but standing quietly and obediently.We are just feet away from a funeral, and you still, STILL manage to have Lila on your mind. Helga and Lila don't even like each other."
"Well, I meant that Lila's really nice and they're both girls, so she might know the right thing to say."
"Lila is nice, I'll give you that, but this is Helga we're talking about. She's a she, but hardly a girl."
"Helga is different, but she's still a girl, Gerald. I'm sure she can have a feminine side, it's just... hidden."
"Right, Arnold. I'm sure she's keeping it in her closet." He put a hand on his hip. "You try to find a bright side in everything, Arnold. You're like this... flashlight in the dark. 'Oh no, a shadow!' 'No, that's not really a shadow. See, watch this!' Ding. 'I told you it wasn't really a shadow. It only looks like a shadow!' That's you."
"Thanks, Gerald, way to be deep. And I don't sound like that." Arnold took a moment to wonder whether he was being complimented or insulted. Shuffling could be heard and Gerald and Arnold looked across the street. Apparently, the funeral was now over, and everyone was spreading out and slowly walking back to their cars. Except Helga. Big Bob and Olga were comforting eachother as they walked to their own car, but Helga was just sitting in the grass, staring at the fresh grave that her mother now rested in.
"What would Lila say?" Arnold whispered, still watching Helga.
At first, Gerald was happy and even a little proud that his best friend was finally going out with the girl of his dreams, but now he was worried that Arnold might be moving a little too fast. "Hey, Arnold?"
"Yeah?"
"I'll talk to you later. Give this Lila thing a break, you're getting ahead of yourself. And... maybe you should talk to Helga. I don't really like her, and I think she could use your flashlight right about now." Gerald pushed his bike forward and started pedaling for home.
Arnold nervously brushed his fingers through his hair. "Later, Gerald."
'What would... no, what should I say to her? Her mother just died and Helga is... complicated. It's not really a bad thing, but what do I say to her?" Arnold wondered as he dropped his bike off at the cemetery entrance and walked over to his childhood friend. "Hey Helga, are you okay?" She didn't even jump or move. "I guess not, but do you want to talk about it?" Arnold sat down next to her and leaned forward, trying to look at her face, but Helga just turned away. "I'm really sorry this happened to you, I really am. I know this is hard for you, but I'm not just being nice to you. I'm your friend and I'm here for you." Helga sighed deeply and finally looked at him. Her face was pale and expressionless, but her eyes were full of sadness. Yet she wasn't crying. Arnold knew that something was emotionally wrong with Helga.
Suddenly, she stood up and Arnold followed. They looked at the now empty parking lot. He felt astonished, but Helga was uneffected. Empty. 'Helga's family left her here?!' Arnold thought as he glanced at Helga and tried to figure out her feelings. 'How can they leave her like this?!' She just sighed and started out of the cemetery. "Wait, I'll walk you home." He reached for his bike, then caught up to her. "Helga?" No response. "Do they... does your family do this often?"
She just watched her feet, silent.
They walked on like that, Arnold pulling his bike on his left, Helga walking on his right. He would look over at her every minute or so, wanting her to say something. It became to much for him when they finally reached her house.
"Look, Helga," Arnold dropped his bike to grab her arms and turn her to face him. The blank expression on her face when she looked was killing him. "You act like you're okay, but I know that's not how you're feeling. So please, talk to me. Tell me what's going on inside there?" He felt a sort of tingle run up his spine as he realised how corny he sounded, but right now it didn't matter. The corners of Helga's mouth twitched as if she didn't know whether to frown or smile, but then she did something completely unexpected: she hugged him.
"Don't start getting mushy on me now, okay?" Helga's voice shivered and she pulled away, keeping her eyes to the ground. Flustered and embarassed, she quickly turned around and ran into her house.
"Is that you Olga?" The sound of a withered Bob Pataki leaked out the door when she opened it.
"I-I'm over here, Dad. Helga must be-" SLAM The door was shut, so Arnold got on his bike and pedalled for home, unaware that Rhonda was half a block away calling Lila to give some misconcepted news.
IN THE PATAKI HOUSE
"-home."
"Oh," Bob wiped his eyes with his shirt and continued, "good. H-H-" He was a mess. He need some aspirin, he needed to rest, he needed his wife. Bob sat down in a dining room chair and put his face in his hands. "Helga." Deep breath. "I called the school. You... you don't have to go to school tomorrow, since... since your mother..." He started crying again. "Oh, God, I miss her so much."
Olga ran over to her father. "Oh, no, Dad. It's okay, it'll be okay, really. It just takes time." Even though she sounded almost calm, she began to cry too.
Helga watched for a moment before walking up the stairs and entering her room. She felt drained out of energy and all emotion except shame as she flopped down on her bed and wondered, 'Why can't I cry?' Helga rolled over on her side and stared at the wall. 'My eyes water, and I should be crying, but I... can't.' She closed her eyes and thought about the day she found her mother, dead. About the funeral. About how her own dad and sister left her behind like they always do. Helga even thought about how she went weak and ended up hugging Arnold of all people. The only one she ever really loved, but like everyone else, didn't love her. Still, she couldn't cry, and instead ended up feeling sick and pain all over her body. Even breathing hurt. Hours went by and still all Helga could do was ask herself the same questions again and again.
"Girls! Dinner is ready!" Bob called and Helga's thoughts were interupted. She went down stairs, where Bob and Olga were already picking and distainfully picking at their burnt food.
After a solid fifteen minutes of slowly poking and prodding and eating, Olga broke the silence. "Let's not mope tonight. Mother wouldn't want it to be this way. Why don't we just talk about the good times we had with her and try to smile?" She looked around the table. "Daddy, do you want to go first?"
"That's a great idea, Olga! You're a good daughter, I'm glad you're mine." Bob thought for a moment, then when he had a memory, he spoke. "Remember that time you had won the ballet contest, and Miriam was supposed to make orderves for the after party? She was never a good cook, and she accidently mixed up the ingredients and ruined the food, so we all went to fancy restaraunt instead. I don't know what was bigger, the bill or the mess at home." His eyes were still watery, but this time they were happy tears. "How about you, Olga?"
She grinned and took a deep breath. "That was a great meal. What about that time she thought we were late for my spelling bee, so she shoved you and me in the car and drove so fast she got a speeding ticket?"
"Hey, I remember that! The cop stopped us for at least thirty minutes and we were still an hour early! Gave you extra time to practice though." He rolled his eyes. "Like you needed it. But why wasn't Helga there?"
"She was, Daddy, but she had to walk, because Mom was in such a hurry we accidently left her behind." Olga giggled.
"Oh yeah. Helga, what's your memory?"
With Bob's and Olga's eyes watching her, she raced through her mind trying to find something, even a decent moment, but the truth was the only time Miriam ever paid attention to her was when she was in trouble or when her mom lost or threw away something of Helga's. All she could do was nervously poke her fork at the uneaten food in front of her. Bob coughed ridiculously loud.
"Daddy, can you excuse Helga and me for a moment?" Olga bashed her eyes.
"Sure." He took a small bite of the food and waited.
Olga grabbed Helga's arm and pulled her into the hallway. "Baby Sister, I know this is a rough time for you, but it's a rough time for everyone else. Now you've never acted like a part of this family, but it's very rude of you not to speak when spoken to." Helga's gaze stayed down, so Olga jerked her face up and made eye contact. "We're trying to make the best of this as possible, and you moping around is just selfish." She spoke more firmly. "Mom's death was tragic, don't you understand that? You didn't even cry at the funeral, but now when everyone's trying to cheer up, all you do is sit around and feel sorry for yourself. Can't you think of someone else for a change?!" Helga stared with wide eyes, speechless at this side of her older sister she was used to seeing. "Well, say something!" Olga looked in her baby sister's tearless eyes and slapped her across the face, hard. Helga's left cheek was now red, and it stung when she put her hand to it. "You should be ashamed." Olga took one last disgusted look at her baby sister, then turned around and went back to dinner. Helga ran back up to her room and just before shutting her door, she could hear Olga and Bob.
"Where's Helga?"
"She went to bed early, Daddy. She's tired from the funeral."
"I thought I heard a slapping noise?"
"Oh, I just hit a bug is all."
"Nasty, aren't they? I hate every last one of them."
Helga leaned on the door and slid down, still in shock about the look on Olga's face, her tone, and what she had said about being selfish. "She's right." Helga whispered outloud and hugged her knees. "She's right."
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Author's Note: What?! What is this?! Olga's nice, and pretty, and perfect. She would never do that! Thanks to the one who noticed that I had been spelling Phoebe wrong and that in the first chapter I had wrote 12:0(something) PM, when I should have wrote AM. The corrections are appreciated! Also, thanks to all the faves and reviews. I hope this chapter is longer, and I'm sorry it took so long to put up. (Warning: The following are excuses) Again, I had originally written this so Lila had sort of "unofficially become" part of the Pataki family (like when you say a friend is a brother or sister, but really you aren't related in any way) and Arnold comforted Lila and Helga left before he could talk to her, but then I realised making a change like that and rushing it in the third chapter was.. um... [place word I'm looking for here, so I had to re-write it. I've also been dealing with some "personal issues" per say, so that slowed me down a bit too. I dare not quit on you guys! And to those wondering, I do actually have future events planned to happen in this story, I'm just taking my sweet time getting there. Let me know if the story feels too slow or too rushed. -TS