Chapter 2: Giving and Getting

Abby gazed at Luka from across the bed. His back was towards her. He'd gone to bed early, but Abby didn't feel the essence of sleep in the room. She whispered his name, but received no response. She gently rubbed his arm, and could feel the tenseness of his muscles, and knew: he was only pretending to be asleep. She slipped between the covers herself and humoured him. She pressed a light kiss, the kind you give to sleeping loved ones, on his forehead.

When she woke up a few hours later, Abby was startled to find herself alone in the bed. The lights of her alarm clock told her that it was 4:11, and the thin line of light at the bottom of the door told her that Luka was up. She sleepily raised herself out of bed and slipped on a robe and slippers. She trudged silently down the stairs and saw Luka on the couch, flipping through the photo albums.

"Hey," Abby whispered hoarsely, taking a seat beside him.

"Morning," he whispered back, a big smile plastered on his face. Abby eyed him suspiciously. Why was he all of a sudden so cheery?

"What are you up to?"

"Joe started crying, so I got up. When he fell back asleep, I noticed how big he was. I wanted to look at his baby pictures."

"I see," Abby said, snuggling close to him and smiling at Joe's first picture home. "Look at how little he was!"

"I know. He grew up so fast!" Luka grinned, sliding the album a little more towards Abby. "I still remember that day. Your mother read to him all day."

"Ah, yes," laughed Abby. "She even started reading him the newspaper." Luka wrapped his arm more tightly around her while Abby flipped through the pages. They laughed at the picture of their son with banana mush all over his face, and at the picture of grinning Morris holding him at the ER, oblivious to the huge puddle of spit-up on his shirt.

Both jumped when the alarm started to beep from the bedroom. Abby ran to turn it off, while Luka stood to make coffee. While Abby went to get Joe from his crib, Luka started toasting bread and scrambling eggs, all one-handedly.

"Where's daddy, Joe?" Abby cooed in her baby voice.

Luka heard the cue and ducked under the counter for their game.

"Is he here?" Abby said playfully, looking around a corner. "No. Hmmm.Let's see. Is daddy…under the table? No. Is he…down here?" She played, peeking under the counter. "There he is! We found him!"

"You found me!" cried Luka, taking the baby from his mother's arms to smother him with kisses. He buckled Joe in his high chair and all three began to eat breakfast.

"Let's go for a walk today," Luka suggested between bites of egg.

"You sure it's not too cold?" Abby asked.

"No. We'll bundle him up."

"Okay. We can go to the park. Maybe Theresa will be there."

"Theresa?" Luka asked.

"She's a woman with 6 kids, and she's always at the park with them."

"6 kids!" Luka exclaimed.

"Yeah, two are foster. The youngest is about the same age as Joe. She's so sweet. One time I forgot to pack diapers and she offered me one."

"Well, who knows, maybe she'll be there. Pass me your plate," said Luka, clearing the dishes.

All morning, Luka played with Joe. He coddled the boy and played peek-a-boo, and even napped with him cuddled in his chest. His affection wasn't unusual; Luka always adored his son, but Abby still worried at Luka's sudden cheerfulness today.

"Hey you," Luka whispered seductively into Abby's ear while snaking his long arms around her. She'd been quiet all morning.

"Hey yourself," Abby replied, smiling as Luka pressed a kiss on her cheek. She took his hand and pulled him to the couch. She sat with him and let him stroke her hair.

"Are you alright?" Abby burst out.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"It's just that- well you were so down yesterday, and today it's as if nothing happened."

Luka sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. "This morning, before you found me, I was preparing for another full day of moping. Then I looked at Joe asleep, and wondered, what if things had gone differently on the roof? Would he really have to live without a father? Would you really have raise him alone? Both of you, so innocent, lives changed forever because of me. On the roof, I thought of you two as well. How much I wanted both of you."

Abby looked deep into Luka's eyes. They were lost, unreadable.

"Ames wanted to hurt me. He didn't want me to have you guys. Ames is gone, and I can't let him still win. I can't lose you two. Abby, I know we don't really say it, I guess that's just how we are," Luka's lost eyes focused on his lovers' big brown ones. "I love you."

His declaration didn't beg her to say it back. He didn't need her to say it back. But she gave it to him anyways. Abby pressed her head into he chest.

"I love you."