Chapter 3

The Funeral

Emmetts POV ( I might switch eventually... I don't know)

A giant RUBBER DUCK! Suddenly, I realized something. If caterpillars could morph into something so sweet and nice and cute and rubbery and fun and… what was I thinking? Oh yeah, if they could turn into that then they couldn't be all bad right? Hmm… Maybe I misjudged the caterpillars… maybe they just want LOVE! Apparently Edward wasn't listening to my revelation because he then went and attacked the caterpillars, Jacob right behind him.

"No!!! Stop they aren't evil!!! I was wrong!!! Stop!!!" I yelled trying to get them not to kill my new friends. Edward just glanced at me and kept fighting them. He squished a lot of them. Hmmm… maybe I'll have a funeral for them later. Mean while, Jacob had turned into his wolf form (whodathunkit! He was telling the truth about being a werewolf!) and was mashing the caterpillars with his paws.

Finally (about 30 seconds later), all the caterpillars were dead. Bella still hadn't woken up. Hmmm... Maybe she is dead. That means Edward is going to hurt me again!

"NOOOO!!!!!" I screamed while running away. Wait, I thought, I forgot my new dead buddies! I sprinted back, grabbed all the caterpillars and sprinted away again. Edward and Jacob seemed to be competing over who could revive Bella first. That may take a while.

I got back to forks and went to Alice first.

"Alice! Will you plan the funeral for these caterpillars?" then she saw me with the caterpillars in my arms and started laughing. Jasper joined in soon too. It was like I was back in Canada. I tried Esme next.

"Esme? Will you plan the funeral for these caterpillars? Edward killed them." I pouted when she turned to face my deceased friends and me. Then she started yelling at me about bringing bugs into her spotless home and how I should get out now or she was going to have to torch the caterpillars and such. I left eventually when I got bored of listening to her rant. Well if no one will help me, I'd do it myself. So I did.

I invited all the local caterpillars to attend and made a casket large enough for all the caterpillars that died that fateful day when they tried to over throw the planet and were foiled by a vampire and a werewolf boy wonder.

The ceremony went well. All the female caterpillars wept (at least I think they were female). It was sad. I wonder what I should do tomorrow?

Disclaimer: Ding dong! Who could that be? Stephenie Meyer! What a surprise! Did you know I'm borrowing your characters even though I don't own them? Oh you need them back? Here you go… sigh. I wish I owned them but I don't.

Sorry, it took me a while to figure out how to get chapters on the first one. I'm still not quite sure actually… Anyway more chapters should be on the way if you guys review that is!

-Cullens4everandever