Chapter 4

A puppy for Bella

Emmett's POV (who else? Still thinking of switching though…)

Okay, remember me mentioning I had a lot of bright ideas? Well I had another one! That brings my total to six! Esme's so proud of me. Well anyway, my idea was that to get revenge on Edward (he beat me up for poisoning Bella, she's okay now but she can't remember anything that happened after she moved to Forks. Carlisle said she should come around one of these days. I wonder what he meant by 'come around'. Hmmm… I will ponder it later. Hee hee, ponder is a funny word. Ponderponderponderponder…). Great idea huh? I haven't worked out the details yet, but I know it's going to be great! I think I'll go find him so I can start my revenge.

At Bella's house-

"Please Bella remember me! I'm not a bad person! I'm not going to eat you! Remember me!" Edward was pleading at Bella's window. The window was closed (actually it looked like it had been nailed shut… hmmm… strange). Then Edward noticed I was there. He actually seemed kind of happy to see me. Also strange. "Emmett! I need your help! I want you to go buy a puppy! If I give her that, she might see that if I don't eat the puppy, I won't eat her! Maybe she'll even think if something like us is able to pick out something so cute, then we can't possibly be all bad. PLEASE don't mess this up Emmett. I would have to hurt you, A LOT, then. Oh and while you're at the pet store, don't massacre the animals there." While Edward was talking I kind of zoned out. He was really boring. All I heard was that he was talking about a puppy, and that I would get hurt if I didn't do it right. Apparently he finished talking (it took a while) and was waiting for me to say something. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say so I just said,

"Garbage dumps are a source of candy and alligators." Edward stared at me and then put his face in his hands.

"You know what? I think I'll do this myself." Then something clicked. He wanted me to go to the pet store to get a puppy for Bella for various reasons! E mc2! I'm symmetrical!

"No! Edward, I can do it! I am symmetrical after all." He gave me a strange look but let me do it anyways.

Where to look for puppies? Well, sometimes there's a box of puppies outside of the candy shop (I just go for the hot chicks, but Rosalie found out and made me stop going.). I could go to a pet store, oh wait, no I can't. (There are two pet stores in town. One of them, I accidentally ate all the animals at (I got kicked out), and the other pet store I was just walking around, minding my business, when this dog came and bit onto my leg! I bit him back and then he started yowling and stuff. The owner kicked me out but she should have been thanking me, what other place can say they have a vampire dog for sale? It probably got them business! Oh well.). I know where I can get a puppy for cheap! I'll go there now!

La Push (I think you know what's coming)

I started running around the forest when I picked up this disgusting smell. When was the last time they took a bath? Oh well, I had to follow the putrid scent in order to find what I needed. So I did. I went a long way, all over the place! Finally I saw him, he was perfect! Maybe a little shaggy, and, gosh, did he ever stink! But oh well. Bella won't mind. So I grabbed the collar and leash that Rose uses on me and put it around his neck. He tried to bite me, but I already had the muzzle that Rose also uses on me on him and we were off!

It took a while to get him home, but we finally got back to Bella's. When Edward saw us he started to sprint over, but stopped. He put his face in his hands and groaned. What'd I do wrong? I got him a dog. Bella would love him!

"Emmett? Do you know who that is?" it sounded like Edward was trying not to kill me. Why would he want he want to kill me? And why was he referring to the dog like it was a human being or something? I was seriously confused. So in other words, everything was right with the world.

Anyway, right then Bella came outside and started going towards Edward saying, "Okay, since I can't remember anything, I guess I'll trust you won't eat me," but she stopped when she saw the dog (whom I decided to name Nuggles). She looked kind of dazed then suddenly she looked really mad.

"Why do you have Jacob on a leash?" Bella demanded while she went over and started taking the leash and collar off him.

"You… you remember? If you remember Jacob then you have to remember me!" Edward cried. This could get interesting. I grabbed my handy dandy popcorn stash and sat to watch the fireworks.

"Yes I remember! I also remember that you agreed you weren't going to do anything to Jacob like I asked!" Bella cried. Jacob came over and sat next to me. It was like watching tennis. Jacob and my head would snap back and forth from Bella to Edward and back. Man, did it give me a crick! "Besides, he made me get my memory back. Something you couldn't do! AND I also remember that some of my memories of being in Forks consists of you leaving me!" Jacob (still in dog mode) made a laughing noise.

"This isn't my fault! I asked Emmett to get you a dog and he came back with him! I will concede that leaving you was all my fault and I'm a very horrible person for doing it." Edward said hanging his head.

"You let Emmett do it? Are you insane? You've heard his thoughts haven't you?" Hey! What does she mean by that? Oh she must mean I'm so smarticle that stuff like getting a dog is beneath me. That must be it! She was calling me smart!

"Thanks Bella!" I said. They both turned and gave me weird looks. What I say? Before I could ask this they turned back towards each other and were arguing again. I was getting really bored. When Edward starts using big word it's time for me to leave. What should I do tomorrow?

Disclaimer: I dreamt last night I owned twilight and the characters, but, alas, it was just a dream. (Ha ha! Alas is a funny word!)

A/N- Kudos to ducksrule71821 for getting over 50 chapters on her hilarious story! Anyway, thought I should mention that.

Right, well, I'm getting kind of bored doing this. Should I just make this my last one? I don't know. I need your, the reader's, opinion to decide. Review! Let me know!

BTW- do you guys even see that little review button down there? I've gotten 185 hits and yet only 6 reviews!!! What's up with you guys??? Are you just lazy? REVIEW OR YOU"LL HURT MY FEELINGS!!!

-Cullens4everandever