The events that transpired after I blew Emi up were something of a blur. Shortly after Linna had shown up, Mom had appeared as well, and upon learning of Emi's fate, could only shake her head and sigh. The three of us made our way back to the KnightWing, which was badly damaged, but after Nene and Mackie made a few quick repairs, we were able to get back to Lady 633 without too much of a problem. Mackie lamented that it would probably take weeks to get the thing up to speed again, but all I could do was grumble to myself about how he was complaining about the plane when I had just lost a friend. Where the hell were HIS priorities?!
Sylia's UN contact got in touch with her while we were on our way back to Lady 633, and she let him know that the OMS was destroyed. She talked with him for a few minutes, confirming that the other half of our hundred-million-yen fee would be deposited within the next two days. I didn't care about the money. I would've rather had Emi alive again. Not that the money mattered anyway; I never saw a penny from our fees, whenever we did get paid, anyway. I always just told Sylia to keep it, since my suit or Monsoon was almost always needing some sort of repair work done to it.
We got back to Sylia's building, and while I'd managed to hold myself together until then, once we all climbed out of our suits, I finally broke down and started screaming at everyone, mostly yelling at Sylia. How could she be so cold about this?! It hadn't been just the OMS that was destroyed! A person had been destroyed along with it, and whether that person was human or Boomer, it didn't matter, because that person had been a friend to me, even if I'd only known her for just over a week. A week…a blip in time compared to what a lifetime was, but Emi had still left her mark on my life, and I wasn't going to forget it, or her. I wasn't going to let her forget it, either, but in the middle of my rant, I started feeling dizzy, and before I could stop myself, I collapsed on the floor of the hardsuit bay.
I opened my eyes, groggy and sore, the mere weight of the blanket on top of my body making me even more so. I looked around; I was in the guest room again, and to the right of me, the clock said, in bright green numbering, 12:32 AM. I groaned and pushed myself up into a sitting position, rubbing my arm, a bandage wrapped around the upper portion of it, where the needle had pierced. It was dark in the room, and my eyes were just starting to adjust to the darkness, but I didn't need to see my body to know that what was under the blanket was covered in bruises. I could feel them all over me, and while it didn't feel like I had a concussion, my head ached somewhat as well. I didn't feel any bandages around my ribs or my leg, so that told me I hadn't broken anything, a small miracle in itself.
I threw back the blanket, and about an inch or two below my leg sleeve was a very large bruise on my shin. I grimaced; it may have only been a deep bruise, but during battle, it had hurt a hell of a lot, and as I moved to get out of bed, I winced again as I put that leg down on the carpet. Standing up, I leaned against the bed for support, then once I had my bearings, I limped over to the dresser and pulled out some clothes. Right now, I was dressed in a loose-fitting sleeveless red shirt and some panties; Sylia had probably chosen them to ensure a minimum of discomfort, not that it mattered at this point. I pulled on some jeans, then some socks and my shoes, and after I pulled on my jacket I took some hairbands and tied my hair back into a loose ponytail, wrapping one around my hair every few inches down so that it was secure.
One hand against the wall, I limped down the hallway towards the elevator. My body was hating me for this right now; every inch of it was crying out for relief, as if yelling at me for even trying to get up after the beating it had taken. But right now, this was a place I just didn't want to be.
"Yumeko?"
I looked up, and at the doorway to the penthouse was Nene, bleary-eyed but with a look of shock on her face. "Nene. What're you doing up?"
"Sylia's just looking over the hardsuit data and I was helping her out with that. Where do you think you're going?"
"Home."
"I'm sure you've noticed, but you took a heck of a beating tonight. You should go back to your room and lay down."
"I haven't slept in my own bed since we all found out Emi had the OMS. What was that, four days ago? Thanks, but I'd rather be somewhere familiar."
"I don't think you should be alone right now. You just lost a friend, and you've…been through a lot besides that. You should be around people you can lean on," she said softly.
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, but I just shook my head and wiped them away. It was true; even if I did go home, I wouldn't have anyone there to greet me. Emi wouldn't be there to run up to me and ask how my day was. But still…it was a place I knew. It was home. This wasn't. "I know I've been through hell," I said in a low voice. "Two days of torture, and then a day of having everyone checking up on me every few minutes. It's annoying. I just want…need…some time to myself. I'm sure you can understand that."
She nodded and bit her lip. "Yumeko, I'm…sorry about Emi. I wish I could've done something to change the outcome."
"Me too…" I started to head towards the elevator again, but she stopped me, putting a hand on my shoulder.
"I understand why you…went off on Sylia like you did," she said, looking guilty. "Her focus mostly being on the fact the OMS was taken care of rather than the fact you lost someone you cared about…I…I cared about her too. Linna and Priss did too. But Sylia…you know her. She doesn't want to waste time getting emotionally invested in someone or something when it's supposed to be done with shortly anyway. But she knows it, Yumeko. She knows you're hurting for Emi, even if she doesn't say anything to you about it. Don't misunderstand her."
"Are we gonna stand here talking all night, or are you going to let go of my shoulder so I can go home?"
She made a face and took her hand off my shoulder. "I'm not sure you'll make it home in your condition."
"I'll be fine. I'll just go slow."
"Are you sure you don't want to stay at least the night?"
"Damn sure."
"…Can I at least give you a ride home if you insist on going?"
"I'll be ok, Aunt Nene," I said, forcing myself to smile. "I'll call you in the morning, ok? Just to let you know I made it ok."
She sighed. "You better," she said, wagging her finger at me, "or I'll come breaking down your door looking for you!"
"I know you will."
The elevator took me down to the ground floor, and I could hear the sound of my limping echo through the parking garage as I headed for my bike, looking over my shoulder every few seconds to make sure no one was hiding in the shadows. Strange, how in the first moments I'd been alone in the past three days, that I was suddenly neurotic. I wasn't usually nervous about people ambushing me.
I found my bike, parked in its usual spot. Judging from its appearance, it had been caught up in the explosion at the Red Baron; the windshield was cracked, and the hood had numerous small dings in it from flying debris. Still, I was thankful Sylia had brought it back to the building for me. I let out a sigh and put one hand on one of the handles while the other one reached for my helmet. Had that really been only three days ago? I'd been talking about my potential gymnastics future with Emi, joking about Berlin with Tora…and then everything had gone to hell. Three days ago, and yet so much had happened since then. It just didn't seem possible.
After I pulled on my helmet, it took me several attempts to climb onto my motorcycle. My leg just didn't want to lift itself high enough to get over the seat, and eventually I practically had to lift the leg with my arms to get it over. Once I was on, I started the bike, and once I had myself situated, I slowly drove out of the garage, the gate lifting as I turned onto the street. I had feared earlier that after what had happened, I'd never be able to travel the streets of Tokyo freely again, wondering if I'd always be afraid of someone coming after me, or something terrible happening. It was true that I'd had more than my fair share of bad luck, but still, I didn't like to think that trouble followed me wherever I went. I was just that type of girl, even before I'd become a Knight Saber. Even before I'd first suited up, I was known at school and in my neighborhood as someone not to mess with, but that didn't mean people didn't pick fights anyway. After I became a Saber, the fights were the same, just with the ante upped just a little bit.
What had happened over the past few days…I wasn't about to let that change the fact that I was still someone not to mess around with. It was just pain. I'd dealt with pain before, so getting through a little more of it would be a piece of cake, right?
No…it wasn't the same, not at all. I'd been raped…even if I didn't consider it real rape…I'd been tortured…and again, I was going through the pain of losing a friend, except this time, I'd been the one to kill her. Sure, I could turn to Mom for this – she'd had to kill Sylvie all those years ago, and still didn't like to bring it up – just as I could turn to her for the 'other' thing, but somehow I knew I had to brazen this out on my own. Even though I was old enough to know better, part of me just wanted to deal with it on my own.
Just wanted some time to get this crap straightened out on my own. Somehow.
I managed to get back to my apartment complex in one piece, and managed to haul my ass into the building and into the elevator, taking it to my floor. And yet, unlocking the door to my apartment, I was overcome with a sense of…what was it? Unease? Anxiety? My heart pounded as I opened the door and looked inside, the light from the hallway filling the living room, my shadow spilling across the living room table. All the lights were off, and it was eerily quiet. I felt like I had never been here before. It just seemed unfamiliar, for some reason. Had I really gotten used to having Emi here when I came home every day?
I turned on the lamp beside the door, closing the door behind me. Taking a step, I tossed my helmet into a nearby corner and looked around again. There was the couch against the wall on the right, with a side table with the vidphone on it next to it, and in front of the couch was the table. On the wall to the left, next to the entrance to the kitchen was the TV, with a stand below it with a DVD player and my selection of movies. I recognized it as my living room, but somehow it just didn't feel like it. It felt…lonely, having no one here with me to fill this space.
Ache gripped my heart as I dropped to my knees, tears streaking my face. I'd never felt so lonely before. Emi had known me, really known me. Hardly anybody knew the real me. Sure, I had Mom and my aunts, but they were adults. I was still a teenager, and like any teenager, I had my secrets. I had a side to me that I only showed friends. Michiko had known the real me. After a while, I had let Craig see the real me. And now Emi, she had seen the real me. I had no one to open up to now. Michiko and Emi were both dead, and there was no way for me to get ahold of Craig, even if I wanted to, which I did, really badly. As much as I wished Ishmael would show up with Craig, or take me to Craig's dimension, I knew that wasn't going to happen. He only showed up if there was good reason, and me missing the one guy I had really grown to trust wasn't good enough. Me being tortured apparently hadn't been good enough either!
I staggered to my feet and hobbled over to the phone, sitting down in the chair in front of the table. Slowly, I dialed Xania's number. There was still someone who knew me. I felt sure I could judge how she'd react, but it was a face I needed to see, a voice I needed to hear. She'd known pain, and the last I'd heard from her, she was going to confront the source of her pain once and for all.
"Oh boy, this better be good," she grumbled as her face appeared on the screen. She ran a hand through her tangled hair and yawned, then blinked quickly when she saw it was me. "Oh. OH!! Rosho!! Holy shit, what…what the hell happened to you?!"
"Nice to see you too," I said. "It's morning there. What are you doing still asleep?"
"C'mon, it's summer, I'm allowed to sleep in. But…but what happened? You look like hell. I left a couple messages on your vidmail but you never got back to me."
"I was a little tied up," I quipped. "Literally. It's been…a long week."
"So tell me about it! How's that girl you took in?"
I started to break down at the mention of Emi. "She's…gone. It's a long story."
She grimaced and let out a sigh. "Sorry, Rosho. What happened?"
After taking a moment to compose myself, I started from the beginning, how I'd found Emi in the alley, the job the Knight Sabers took, and my day of introducing Emi to everyone, including the accidental introduction to Masahiro. Xania laughed out loud when I described her tossing the SOB over her shoulder, but quickly sobered up when I told her that was what had led to me introducing her to Sylia and having her scan Emi, and how that was how we'd all found out she was a Boomer and had the OMS. I described the meeting at the Red Baron and how it had gone to shit, followed by a nutshell description of the torture I had to endure.
"Oh fuck," she breathed when I told her about the finger-rape. "Oh God. Rosho, those…those sons of bitches. They seriously…?"
"Yeah," I said, choking up. "I don't want to…dwell on it, ok? It was just one part of it. Remember the thing that happened at Juliana's pool party? Well…"
I went on to describe the water torture I'd been subjected to, and finally, the stun gun attack. Xania looked amused when I told her about Emi suddenly snapping and attacking Bruce and Nezumi, and she proceeded to let out a string of colorful words that made me wonder just a bit if Emi should have let them linger a little bit instead of killing them outright. I told her of our escape, finding Mackie, getting back to Lady 633, and of my day off, if I could call it that, before tonight's battle.
After I described the events that transpired, including me having to bomb Emi, Xania was just left shaking her head. "You just can't make this shit up," she remarked, still shaking her head in disbelief. She'd been doing that almost the entire time I'd been talking. "You've really had a hell of a week. Makes mine seem boring in comparison. Why aren't you gettin' some rest, girl? You've been beaten up for three days straight!"
"I just needed someone to talk to, someone who's not a Knight Saber. I've got…no one here now. I actually liked having Emi here. Someone to…hang out with, go shopping with, someone who was close to my age. You're in the States, so it's not like we can hang out anytime we want. Xania, I…" I choked up again. "I know she was a Boomer, but…she was a friend too. She really was like Michiko in a lot of ways. And now they're…both gone. What am I supposed to do? With Emi, her death really IS my fault. I wish I could have figured out another way to save her. I wish I…"
"I know," she sighed. "I guess that…you just do what you can in whatever circumstances you're dealin' with. In the heat of battle, you don't have time to second-guess what decisions you make, and with what you said about that Boomer fusin' with her and maybe bein' able to control the OMS…hell, I probably woulda sided with Emi. If I were her, I'd want ya to blow me up too! Fuck that!"
"You would?"
"Sure! I'd rather it be me dead than anybody I care about! If it was the only way to keep you from getting killed, hell yes I'll step up and offer my life! I guess that'd make her one hell of a bad assassin Boomer, but as far as being a friend goes, she performed the ultimate act. I don't think she'd want you to cry for her; she'd want you to appreciate what she did. What's the point of her dyin' for ya if all you're gonna do afterwards is bitch and moan? You gotta LIVE! She wanted you to be happy, right?"
"Y-yeah…"
"So be happy! Live it up! Be daring! Sleep with a random guy! Go skydiving! Go—"
"Er…"
She stopped and cleared her throat. "Well, ya know what I mean. Take risks."
"That particular advice might be more up YOUR alley than mine."
Xania just laughed and scratched the back of her head, flashing me the peace sign with her other hand. Still, it made me smile. She could be broody at times, to be sure, but when she was happy, it was infectious.
"So, you said you were gonna go visit your parents in prison?" I asked. "How did that go?"
She made a face and bit the inside of her cheek as her tail swished back and forth. "They didn't seem surprised to see me. They knew exactly who I was when I went to visit 'em. First thing they did was ask when I got the tail."
"Did you get to ask them why they got addicted?"
"Yeah. 'Course, I wasn't expecting a straight answer, and I didn't really get one. Mom kinda used the excuse that in a small town like Needles, there's not a whole lot to do, so of course you're gonna dabble in drugs. And Dad, he…he admitted he got Mom hooked on that shit, but he didn't say why he himself got addicted. I asked if they even gave a shit about me back then, and he just said he knew I'd be able to take care of myself, that I was precocious, old for my age. Mom admitted once she got hooked, all she cared about was her next hit, not about me. Damn everything else, if she couldn't get her next bit of that 'candy,' there was gonna be hell to pay!" She groaned. "They looked old, Rosho. They both look sixty years old; they're missing most of their teeth 'cause o' meth mouth."
"You knew what you were getting into, though. I'm sure you did."
"In my head I was ready, but…I guess I was still shocked when the guard pointed them out to me. They're both just…old. They're not the people I remember as my parents."
"Are they getting out soon?"
"Yeah, another two years," she said. "Doesn't matter though. I told 'em I never wanted to see 'em again. Told 'em I was only there to get the answers I was lookin' for, and that was it. I wasn't there to give them my forgiveness – and I don't forgive them, by the way, I never will – I was only there to tell 'em I'd grown up, that I wasn't gonna let what they'd done to me fuck me up for life."
"You should be proud," I said. "You stood up to them. I know you never liked having them brought up when I was over there, so I know this was a big step for you."
"And scary," she admitted. "But I'm glad I did it. I got that out of my system. Now I can move on and focus more on my schoolwork. God, I hate schoolwork, but this is what I said I wanted to do, so I'm doin' it. No one said this was gonna be easy."
"Right. At least Sylia will be proud you're not wasting the money she's spending for your education."
She stuck out her tongue. "I'm makin' good use of it. You can tell her that for me."
"I will." I bowed my head slightly, then looked back up at the screen. "So…did you find the answers you were looking for?"
Xania gave me a look, the look only a person who was wise far beyond her years could give me. "Do any of us?"
Our conversation wound down quickly, and after I hung up I decided to take a look at my vidmail files to see what calls I had missed. To my surprise, there were only a few, especially considering I didn't check it on a regular basis. There were two from Xania, both made during the days I had been in captivity, but there were also three others besides those, and two of them had been made from inside my apartment. Upon watching them, I was shocked; they were messages from Emi. The first one had been left two days after I found her in that alleyway, while I was at work. In her boredom being cooped up in my apartment, she must have started fiddling with the phone and figured out she could call the apartment itself from inside.
"Message left on: 15 July 2057, at 3:23 PM," the automated voice said before my copper-haired friend appeared on the screen. She tapped the screen, then leaned in close, blinking curiously.
"Is this thing on?" she asked out loud, staring for a few more seconds before leaning back. "I guess it is. The little red light above the screen is blinking. Well, I hope it works! Anyway, um…I really miss you, Yumeko! I hope you come back from work soon! I'm still really sorry about burning the egg last night, and I thought I'd try it again, so I took out the whole carton of eggs from the refrigerator, and I tried it again and again. It took me five tries, but on the fifth egg I finally got it right!"
I blinked back tears and let out a chuckle. No wonder the place had still smelled like egg when I'd gotten back from work that day. I'd thought it had just lingered from the night before. So that was why she had laughed when I made a comment about the kitchen still smelling. I hadn't cooked any eggs after that, so I hadn't even noticed I was missing some.
I went ahead and went to the next message, which was left two days later, in the early morning hours of the day I had taken her around Tokyo to introduce her to everyone. "Message left on: 17 July 2057, at 7:56 AM."
Emi appeared on the screen, yawning. "You got home really late last night," she said, scratching the back of her head, blinking tiredly. "I was just watching the news, and my stomach still hurt, and then it stopped and I guess I was just tired, 'cause I went to sleep right away after that. I wish you'd woken me up, though! I got worried! Oh, and some guy came by while you were out, but I didn't open the door. I just talked to him through the door and said you weren't around. He said he'd come by later. He seemed like he knew you, so maybe you know him too. But I thought you said all guys are jerks!"
I smirked; it could have only been Masahiro. She had never told me about him stopping by; she'd only said, later that day as I introduced her to Mom, incidentally, that Mom had called while I was at work. Still, this might have explained her immediate dislike for him upon meeting him for the first time. Or maybe she was just picking up cues from me. Either way, I'd never forget her flipping him over her shoulder and warning him to stay away. It was just so out of character for her! Even if that was what had led me to take her to Sylia's place and led us to find out who she really was, it was still a memorable incident.
The two messages from Xania were after that, one left on the 19th, the second one left on the 20th. The last message was from someone who had called from Sylia's place, on the 21st, which made me wonder. It had been late on the 20th that Emi and I had escaped, so we were both already at Lady 633 on the 21st. So who…?
Of course, the answer should have been obvious. I went to the last message.
"Message left on: 21 July 2057, at 6:01 PM."
Again, it was Emi who appeared on the screen. This time, though, she looked tired, worn out. She ran her hands through her hair and let out a sigh. At first, I could only shake my head. When had she had time to leave this? She'd been around me all day, and then she had meditated in my room for several hours. I thought about the time again. Six o'clock? I'd just gotten up from my nap… That was it. It must have been while I was in the bathroom before we'd gone down to the hardsuit bay. I hadn't kept track of the time then, but it was the only possible time; I knew it hadn't been that late when I'd fallen asleep on the patio.
Six o'clock…not even eight hours ago.
"We've had quite a rough time the last few days, haven't we?" she asked, chuckling nervously. "I don't think I can ever apologize enough for what you had to go through at the warehouse with Nezumi and Bruce. I can only hope that you'll forgive me for taking part in the torture. It may be true that I saved you in the end, but it shouldn't have come to that. I should've been able to do something at the very beginning, before anything bad happened. But I…I wasn't myself. I was the old me, the one who had to make sure the OMS got back to Genom no matter what. I know I explained it all to you last night after we got away, but I still…I still feel horrible about it. I am so, so sorry."
She held her head in her hands for a moment before looking up at the screen again. "Right now your friends are getting ready to head out, so I don't have a lot of time. But I'll explain to you what I was doing when you walked in on me just now. You thought I was meditating, but…I wasn't. Remember when we were talking with Nene over lunch about the OMS? I had said that it only stood to reason that Quincy would want the OMS back because he can't make another one. Well, I realized I had to back up my words somehow. So what I've been doing for the past couple hours is basically take a look inside myself. I wanted to figure out the inner workings of the OMS, just how intricate this thing is, what it has access to. And do you know what I found out? The OMS links directly with Genom's computer systems. In fact, I could access any computer system in the world that I want. I went into Genom's systems, and I found blueprints for the OMS, very, very detailed blueprints. After looking them over, I realized it would only take a few months, perhaps, to build another one, and I started wondering, if he could make another one, why try so hard to get this one back? Just so the UN doesn't have it, or ASI? Why?"
Why indeed, I thought, tears running down my cheeks. Dammit, Emi, you knew. You really did know.
"When you try to get me to the UN tonight, there's likely gonna be an ambush of some sort. And given that Quincy really could build another one, I just have the feeling that he's not going to try to get me back. I think he's going to try to kill me, to make sure that no one else has this thing. And that's part of your mission too, isn't it? If you can't return me, then kill me? It'll be exactly what he'll want, and I think that's how it's going to turn out." Her expression turned deadly serious. "He had no idea what 33Ds were capable of when he allowed them to be developed. He designed us so we would have fusion abilities, but I seriously doubt he knew my abilities would be designed so well. I doubt he expected me to fuse with the OMS so well. He had no idea at all what we could be capable of."
What are you getting at, Emi?
"I may not survive this last attempt, Yumeko. I'm fully aware of that, and it's exactly what Quincy is going to gun for. But like I said, he never expected me to be able to access the OMS, let alone to the degree that I've been able to. He thinks he'll be able to destroy me and then go ahead and build another OMS behind the UN's back. Well, after I'm gone and he goes to access those blueprints, guess what he's going to find? Nothing."
"What?!" I gasped.
"I destroyed them. Every last record, every last blueprint. Everything from thirty years ago when he was first having it developed, every last detail. All the testing, everything. There's going to be absolutely nothing left for him to go on if he really wants to build another one. If he really wants to, he'll have to start from scratch, and spend another ten years building another one, if he really wants to invest all that time again. In any case, by the time you see this message, he'll probably be kicking himself, wondering what on earth went wrong!"
I buried my face in my hands, shaking my head. She'd known the whole damn time she wasn't going to survive. Why the hell hadn't she told me she'd done any of this earlier?! We could've gone about our plans in an entirely different manner, and she might still be alive. What was she thinking? She didn't think the world would be better off without her, did she? Didn't she know that I, for one, appreciated having her around?! Didn't my feelings matter?!
"If I really am dead by the time you see this message, then rest assured everything will be okay," she said gently. "If the OMS is destroyed, then he can't send out Boomers at will anymore to wreak havoc on the city. Innocent people won't die. And most importantly of all…the Knight Sabers won't have to go out anymore. You'll be safe. Your mother, Sylia, Linna, and Nene will be safe. Nobody will have to worry about whether you'll be coming home at the end of the evening. When you see Craig again, you can live happily with him. That's all I want for you and the others, Yumeko. I want you to be able to live the way you want to. I know you don't want to fight Boomers forever, and hopefully now…you won't need to anymore."
She smiled. "I promised I would protect you. Hopefully, with this, I can fulfill that promise. And if you're watching this, you're probably crying your eyes out, but I don't want you to do that. Don't worry about me, or what you could have done. I'll be around, in some shape or form. Just look around…and I'll be there. Don't worry."
The screen went black, and the automated voice said, "There are no more messages."
"Damn it, Emi," I cried, laying my head on the table as I started crying. I would have fought Boomers forever if it meant she could be around, but at the same time, I probably WOULD be fighting them forever if she were still around. It would have never stopped, if Quincy had known the OMS was out there somewhere. It just wasn't fair. Even as a Boomer, she was more human than most people I knew, and I had told her as much.
It didn't have to come to this, I thought. If we had more time, we could've figured something out. Didn't you know that? I could've done something so none of this would've had to happen. Damn you, why were you so willing to die?
Maybe she was a lot wiser than I gave her credit for. Or maybe she really was just a fatalistic person. Live happily? How was I supposed to do that, knowing a friend had died, even if it was to secure that happy life for me? It just wasn't fair at all.
Look around and she'll be there? What did she mean? She didn't seem like the type to be spiritual, even if describing a Boomer as spiritual seemed like an oxymoron. I didn't care if she was a Boomer. Look around? She may have never lied to me, but she was sure yanking my chain now. I wanted to turn and see an orange-haired girl with yellow eyes sitting on the couch, laughing. I didn't want to just imagine her there. I wanted to SEE her there.
Still…she had left me these messages, so if I wanted to hear her voice, see her face, I could just turn on my video mail and watch them. But it wasn't the same. It seemed bittersweet, to see them now only after I knew she was gone.
I've already lost a friend before. Why did you have to go and do it to me again?
I spent the rest of the night and most of the next day in bed, too sore to do much else. Besides the inevitable runs to the bathroom, the only thing I got out of bed for was to take a swig of milk from the carton, and to take some ibuprofen for the pain that wracked my entire frame, not that it helped all that much, but it was something. I heard the phone ring several times, and realized I hadn't called Nene when I got home like I told her I would. Still, I didn't bother to get up to answer it; the vidmail would've picked it up by the time I got to the phone, anyway.
Whenever I wasn't dozing off, I had time to think. What had driven me to take in Emi in the first place? It wasn't like she had been the first person I'd seen curled up in an alley, trying to get warm. Tokyo was full of homeless people, even if they weren't commonplace in district 6. Something about her…it had been her hair that had gotten my attention, but what else was it? The fact she was so young? So underdressed? I didn't understand. It was just strange that I had been altruistic with the one person who had what the Knight Sabers had been hired to track down. If I hadn't taken her in, it was very much true we would've wasted the next week or month trying to look for it, and by that time, unbeknownst to us, those ASI guys probably would've found her again, and then we'd probably be facing another situation entirely. Would it have been easier if I hadn't found her, hadn't taken her in? Emotionally, for me, yes, certainly. I wouldn't have had to face the torture that I did, or the pain of having to kill someone I'd started to get attached to. But at the same time, it pained me to think that. Wasn't I being selfish by thinking that? It might've been easier to kill her if I hadn't met her at all; I would've just seen her as a 33D, like Boh, and shot her on the spot.
But…she wasn't like Boh. When she had her memory, she was ruthless, but she still knew who I was, otherwise she wouldn't have snapped and killed those two bastards. It almost made me wonder, if Boh hadn't had a mission implanted in his brain, what would he have been like? I just couldn't see him as being sweet like Emi was. And of course, my memory of him was just slightly tainted; being stabbed and having him kill my best friend would tend to do that. And if she hadn't tossed Masahiro, I wouldn't have taken her to Sylia's place and had her scanned. If I had just stayed oblivious…if we'd all stayed oblivious…maybe she'd still be alive.
Maybe she annoyed me at times with her naïveté, but damn it, I preferred her that way to how she was after she'd gotten her memory back. She was actually…fun. Why did I have to insist that Sylia scan her? Couldn't I have just chalked it up to her being protective of me?
Fuck the mission! She was a friend! Memory or no memory, Boomer or not, she was still a friend, I thought, sitting up in bed. I had to get out of here, clear my head. I was going to drive myself nuts if I was alone with my thoughts any longer. I had to distract myself with something.
Getting dressed, I headed downstairs and outside. The sun was low in the sky, low enough that it was behind the buildings lining the street, making it already seem like dusk in the street. I started to head for my bike, but shook my head and walked down the block instead, tucking my hands into my pockets; I didn't want my sore arm to just hang there at my side. That would've hurt more than anything. I turned and headed down an alleyway a short distance from the fast-food place I'd been on my way to when I'd first run into Emi, looking around. No one was here, but that didn't surprise me; the one I was looking for tended to hide.
I let out a low whistle, and out of the shadows came a small man, no taller than myself, wearing a grungy jacket, his face leathery from years of standing on street corners hawking his wares. "Well, well, if it ain't little Yumeko," he said cheerfully, flashing me a toothy grin. He was missing at least half his teeth, and whatever he still had wasn't gonna be fixed by any mere root canal. "I haven't seen you callin' for me in a long time. What bring you calling?"
I pulled out a 10,000-yen note. "One bottle, Neet."
"You ain't been going to another guy, have ya?"
"No, you've been the only one. I'm just…trying to get over a hump right now."
"I can see that. You look like hell." Neet took the money and slapped a small white bottle into my hand. "This'll help ya get over that hump."
I checked it to make sure the seal hadn't been broken. "So how have you been, Neet?"
"Business has been a little slow since you stopped comin' 'round. You're one of my best customers! You're the only one who prefers hydromorphone. Most others prefer Percocet or OxyContin, but hey, to each his own."
"I know what I like, and I like this a lot."
"Well, let me know when you need any more, ok? I'll always have a bottle on hand in case ya come by!"
"Thanks."
I shuffled out of the alley, pocketing the bottle as I headed to the parking lot adjacent to my apartment building. It was just something to take the edge off, something to take my mind off of things for a while. That's all it was. I leaned against my bike and took out the bottle, unscrewing the top. The bottle was almost full to the brim with the familiar pink-tinged fluid. I filled up the dropper and stuck out my tongue, ready to empty it into my mouth. But I stopped.
What the hell was I doing?!
I had been to rehab for this shit. What was I doing with a bottle of it in my hand again? I was in pain, and ibuprofen wasn't doing a good enough job. I needed something stronger. That was a good enough excuse, wasn't it? No…it was just that, an excuse. Couldn't I just pull up my big-girl pants and deal with it?
Mom was mad at me after I told her about this, and she was still mad after I went to rehab for it. She'll be mad at me no matter what I do. Does it matter if I start taking this stuff again?
Of course it matters, another voice in my head said. You started taking this stuff as an escape anyway, long after you didn't need it anymore for your leg. What do you think you're doing now? You're trying to escape! You're just using your physical pain as an excuse! You just want to forget you ever knew Emi! You want to forget you were tortured and raped!
No…I wasn't raped…it was just…
No? What was it then? Another molestation? Admit it, it was more than that. It wasn't just another part of your torture. It's what you'll remember the most, and that's exactly what he wanted. Of course you don't want to remember it happened. So go ahead, drink from that bottle. But your memories will still be right here when you come down from that high. You'll have to face them sooner or later. Admit it; you're gonna end up just like your mother. Always running away…
No! I'm not like her! I will NEVER be like her!!
I let out a scream and tossed the bottle and the dropper aside, watching the pink fluid spill onto the asphalt. My memories were bad enough – of course I didn't want to remember getting violated by that rat – but being ruled by that bottle had been just as bad. No, it had been worse. A lifetime of misery just to obtain a few hours of peace? It wasn't worth it. I'd been through it before, what made me believe I'd want that back? What made me think it would have been a good idea?
I buried my face in my hands. "I gotta get out of here."
Not bothering to head back upstairs to get my helmet, I climbed onto my bike – with some effort – and tore out of the parking lot and down the street. What the hell had I been thinking, going back to Neet? Granted, Bert, my gun-and-drug dealer in Sacramento, couldn't be in Tokyo as well, but soon after I'd gotten back from the Olympics I had found him, the weight of the emotions I'd held back the past year finally crashing down on top of my shoulders. He had been one face I looked forward to seeing, and now that Emi was gone, I'd had no one I could really turn to that was nearby, and somehow, seeing him again just now had cheered me up. But I couldn't see him again; Cecilia had taught me that. She'd said I had to expunge everyone that helped me dabble in drugs out of my life. I thought if I just didn't call for him, it'd be as easy as that. But my experiences the past few days…they chased me right back to him.
I shook my head. No, I couldn't run back to him again, no matter how much I wanted to. I'd made a mistake this time, but at least I hadn't dumped that dropperful on my tongue. At least I stopped myself from going that far, even if I did pay for the bottle.
It didn't seem like a bar would be the best place for me to go in my current state of mind, but it was another place where I knew most of the people there. Besides, I had planned on bringing Emi here one of these days, to sing karaoke. But here I was, coming alone.
"Look who's here!" the bartender called out, only to grimace when I hobbled up to the bar and sat down. "Wow, look at you. What did you do, Yumeko?"
"Wiped out on my bike," I mumbled, which was a half-truth. I HAD wiped out, and the rest, he didn't need to know.
"You didn't show up for karaoke this weekend. I guess you were just laid up, huh?"
"Yeah, something like that." I slapped a 1,000-yen bill on the counter. "Get me the usual. I'll do some singing in a bit, but I need something to quench my thirst first."
"Sure thing." He cracked open a bottle and set it down in front of me.
I took a sip and looked around the bar. Most of the other patrons, about a dozen in total despite the fact there should've been a rush about now, had taken a quick look at me before turning away, trying to keep their focus on the baseball game on TV. I smirked and took another sip. At least I could be normal here. No one here could possibly know what I'd gone through, and that was fine with me.
"What's the score?"
The bartender turned to me, surprised. "Didn't think ya cared about baseball."
"I don't. What's the score?"
"7-3, Giants over the Tigers, top of the 7th."
"Ah…that figures…"
I finished off the bottle quickly; I must've been thirstier than I thought. I called for another beer, and in seconds I had a second one in my hand. I cracked it open and took a long, hard sip from it. What song was I going to do tonight? I hadn't thought about it, but as my mind drifted, I recalled a conversation I'd had in Sacramento with Xania that I had long forgotten about. I thought it was before our fateful spring break road trip, but I couldn't be sure…
We had gone through a bunch of CDs with old tracks from the twentieth century on them. Most of them I knew; I had a rock singer for a mom, after all. But there was one that I had actually been confused by. "I liked that last one," I said, sitting cross-legged on the floor of Xania's room, CD jewelcases strewn all about. "But it confused me."
"What about it did?" she asked, flipping through the liner notes for it.
"The main lyric. 'Losing my religion'…does that mean he's losing his faith? Didn't really go with the rest of the lyrics."
She laughed. "I thought the same damn thing, but I guess it's Southern slang that nobody really uses anymore. It's supposed to mean you're losin' it, you're flyin' off the handle."
"But that still doesn't make sense. How does losing religion equate with losing your temper?"
"Hell if I know."
I walked up to the karaoke machine and looked up the song to see if it was on there, smirking when I saw that it was. After selecting it, I sat down on the stool, setting my almost-empty beer bottle at my feet. I adjusted the microphone and said, "Sorry guys, it's another English one. There should be a translation by the English lyrics on the screen, but if not, I'm not helping you out."
I nodded my head with the beat as it came on. Judging from the looks on the patrons' faces, none of them were familiar with this song. Somehow, even if they didn't understand the lyrics very well, I knew they'd know it wasn't exactly a happy song.
"Ohhh, life…is bigger. It's bigger than you, and you are not me," I sang in a mellow voice, shifting on the stool as my body began aching anew. "The lengths that I will go to, the distance in your eyes. Oh no, I've said too much…I've set it up."
I took a breath. "That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion. Trying to keep up with you, and I don't know if I can do it. Oh no, I've said too much…I haven't said enough… I thought that I heard you laughing. I thought that I heard you sing. I think I thought I saw you try…"
Emi's face was flashing in my mind the whole time as I sang. I thought I could see her sitting by the bar by my seat, clapping as I sang. But I knew I was only imagining it. I wished she was here to see me for real.
"Every whisper, every waking hour, I'm choosing my confessions, trying to keep an eye on you like a hurt, lost and blinded fool, fool. Oh no, I've said too much…I've set it up. Consider this, consider this, the hint of the century, consider this…the slip that brought me to my knees, pale. What if all these fantasies come flailing around? Now I've said…too much…" I took in another gulp of air. "I thought that I heard you laughing. I thought that I heard you sing. I think I thought I saw you try…"
During the lull in the song the other patrons started clapping, but I kept my head bowed, adjusting the microphone as I did so. It wasn't over yet, and though I heard them clapping, I couldn't really take it in. I wasn't here to be celebrated. This was for myself, not for anybody else.
"But that was just a dream. That was just a dream… That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion. Trying to keep up with you, and I don't know if I can do it. Oh no, I've said too much…I haven't said enough. I thought that I heard you laughing. I thought that I heard you sing. Oh, I think I thought I saw you try. But that was just a dream. Try, cry, why try? That was just a dream, just a dream, just a dream…dream…"
After the last few notes of the song played out, everyone in the bar broke out in cheers, clapping and whooping out loud. I forced a smile and adjusted the microphone again, planting one hand on the stool as I pushed myself up to my feet and climbed off the makeshift stage, grabbing my bottle on the way down. Why were they getting so excited, I wondered? It wasn't exactly a hard song; any of them could have done it if they knew how to pronounce the English words. I'd understand if maybe it was one of my mom's songs that I had sung, but it wasn't. This attention was making me feel a little self-conscious.
I polished off the second bottle as I sat back down at the bar, and the bartender gave me a look when I asked for a third bottle, but he went ahead and gave it to me anyway. "You usually don't have more than one, let alone two or three," he pointed out as I cracked open the third one and started sipping from it. "Anything wrong?"
"Nope," I said lightly. "Just celebrating life."
"Didn't sound like a happy song you were celebrating up there on the stage."
"I don't have to sing happy ones to be happy with life, do I? Just let me sing what I want." I took another sip.
"Encore, encore!" two guys shouted from the other end of the bar.
"Nope, that's it," I said. "Just the one."
"C'mon, one more! You usually do more than one!"
"I just felt like one today. That's all you're getting."
I started feeling a little giddy, and I admit it was probably the fact I was on my third bottle of beer, but it wasn't a bad feeling. It was better than being mopey and feeling sorry for myself, although I did still wish I'd brought Emi along when I still had the chance. I think I had said as much when we were waiting for Tora at the Red Baron. I was always too busy, making excuses about how I had to work, or that I was planning Nene's birthday party when I was really off fighting Boomers. I would have taken her this past weekend; I'd always come and done karaoke on the weekends, but it was too late. I could've brought her on a weeknight, just because I usually didn't have people with me. Why didn't I make an exception this one time? Damn it.
Now I WAS feeling sorry for myself.
"Celebrating life, huh?" one guy asked, walking up to me. "Don't look like it, with ya sitting at the end of the bar all by yourself."
"Celebratin' in my own way," I slurred, taking another pull from the bottle. "Don't mind me."
"Probably got dumped, huh? I've seen a lot o' girls go out and get slammed after they've gotten dumped."
"Didn't get dumped, asshole."
"Then what is it?"
I frowned and turned to look at him. "I lost a friend yesterday. I'm just trying to deal with it in my own way."
"A girl friend?"
"Yeah, a girl…" I stopped. "What are you implying?"
He grinned. "A little girl like you, you must attract a lot of girls. I know you don't like guys, so there's only one other way for that pendulum to swing, hehehe…"
"Is that a fantasy of yours? Two girls together? Sorry, I'm more asexual than anything." My bottle now empty, I grabbed the neck and smashed it against the counter, pointing the broken end at him. "Don't you dare slander my friend, you hear me?!"
"Hey, whoa!" He jumped back, hands in front of him as I shoved my stool aside and jabbed the bottle at him. "What the hell?!"
"My friend DIED for me, you son of a bitch! I'm not about to let you sully her good name for the sake of a bad joke!!"
"I didn't DO anything!!"
"You better! Or you're gonna get your tongue cut out of your mouth!!" I lunged at him, but two other guys jumped to hold me back. I kicked and yelled at them. "Leggo! Leggo!! He insulted my friend!!"
The bartender came out from behind the bar and crossed his arms. "You better get out of here, Yumeko. I think you had two too many drinks. Get out of here."
I relaxed, pulling my arms out from the other guys' grips. "Leggo, I can let myself out." I tossed the broken bottle aside. "Fine. I'll go. But tell that prick there to keep his damn mouth shut or I'll come back and cut his lips off with my pocketknife."
"Just go."
"I'm goin'!"
The hot summer air hit me as I left the bar; it was even hotter out here than it was inside, and I brushed my bangs out of my face as I limped towards my bike. But before I could get very far, I heard a voice behind me.
"I figured you'd be here."
I turned around, and standing by the entrance to the bar was Mom, with her arms crossed, leaning against the wall with a smirk on her face. "What're you doing here?" I asked hoarsely. "I don't remember inviting you."
"Linna told me you came here often after work for a beer," she said. "Thought I'd take my chances after I stopped by your apartment and didn't get an answer at the door."
"So what do you want? I'm a little drunk right now."
"I see that. I just figured we could have a chat. You look like you could use someone to talk to. How about it?"
"I don't want to talk. I'm just gonna go home and sleep it off."
"You can't just sleep off last night, or the two days before that. I've tried it, trust me, it doesn't work." She smiled. "Walk with me."
I stood there for a moment, looking at her, trying to scan for any ulterior motive behind this sudden act of kindness, but I couldn't detect any, at least not through my beer goggles. I just nodded, and we started walking down the street together, going slowly as I still had a limp from my leg injury the night before, as well as the residual soreness everywhere else.
"How's your arm?" she asked.
"It's fine," I said, rubbing it as if on cue. "As long as I don't move it too much. Still hurts like a mad bastard, but if I take care of it, it should be fine."
"Good, good. I was getting worried after you snuck out of Sylia's place last night. Thought you might go do something stupid."
"Like look for my dealer? I did."
She stopped and looked at me. "Yume…" she started, her face already turning red from anger.
I put up a hand to stop her. "I did, before I came here. But I tossed it out."
"You…threw away the bottle?"
"Yeah. I almost took some, but then I threw away the bottle. Decided it wasn't…worth it. Wasn't worth it to start heading down that road again. I've already messed up my life once. I…never want to go through that again, or put you through that again. I'm sorry." I sighed. "Just let it go, please. I know you're still mad about it, but I just wish you'd get over it."
"I won't," she admitted nonchalantly. "I won't get over it. You're my daughter, and I'd always thought I raised you better than that. But…I do understand it. I don't condone it, but I do understand it. And I forgive you."
"You forgive me?"
"Yes. When I get mad and blow up at you, it's…really me blowing up at myself. It's not directed at you. I know you were just trying to cope, and I tried certain methods of coping after my boyfriend in the biker gang died. But you need to know…that I AM proud of you for seeking help. I am."
"Why are you saying all this now?" I asked, starting to choke up. I had been waiting for this for so long. "We've been at each other's throats for almost the past year because of it. Why now?"
"We're both Asagiris, Yume. We're pigheaded and stubborn. We hate to admit we're wrong, and that's just when we're arguing with OTHER people. Pit two of those people against each other and everything's just gonna go to hell."
"At least we can admit we're stubborn," I joked.
We turned a corner, heading down a quieter street, which wasn't saying much considering this was always a busy area of town. "How are you doing?" she asked.
"Regarding…?"
"Everything."
"About as good as I could be, I suppose, which isn't well. Emi left a few messages on my phone over the last week, including one from yesterday, just before we left."
Mom gave me a surprised look. "Oh?"
I explained to her what had been on the last message Emi had left me, about how she had expected to die but that I shouldn't worry about it, because she had destroyed the plans for the OMS and any research that had been done while the original one was being developed. I included the part about her saying we wouldn't have to fight anymore, which made her raise an eyebrow.
"I guess the Boomers from last night had the same mission we did," she muttered. "Return her or kill her."
"So me killing her was exactly what Quincy wanted," I moaned. "But still…"
"Still," she interjected, "she does have a point. With no OMS, he can't send out Boomers anymore unless he individually programs each one, but that'd be a waste of time if he wants to send one on a test run right away."
"Right…"
"That'd be nice," she said, letting out a low whistle. "Being able to retire, again? That'd be just super. We're all getting too old for this shit anyway, and you're too YOUNG for this shit."
"You were seventeen when you joined," I pointed out.
"And I'm forty-four now. Don't remind me," she groaned. "We were all way past our physical prime when Sylia had us jump into battle again. That's one of the main reasons she recruited you, because you WERE in your prime. You're still in your prime. But I don't want you spending the best years of your life having to kick Boomer ass. If we really can retire because of what Emi did…I'm all for it, not just for me, but for you. The four years we spent fighting before we retired the first time, we went through a lot, and we were still kids, basically. I mean, Sylia was only about twenty-one herself when she recruited us. We grew up together, pretty much. And having to do it all again in our early forties…heh." She grinned and shook her head. "We knew what to do, but our bodies weren't quite as up to the task, if you know what I mean. You were sixteen when you first donned the purple suit, and what's it been, just about three years now? You've been through…SO much more than any of us went through in our first run. I wish I could take it back and make you a normal teenager again. But I can't."
"I'm proud of it, though," I said, interrupting her. "I did regret it, more than once, joining the Knight Sabers. But I guess you regretted it too at one point or another. I did get hurt, and I did almost lose my leg at the summit. I did lose Michiko. But…I think we accomplished a lot too. I just hope I wasn't more of a liability than a help. I know that happened a lot, but I've learned. I think we all learned a lot."
"We're always learning. We've gotta keep up with the technology Genom puts out, or we're gonna get killed. Thankfully Sylia's got the skills to do that."
"Are you proud of me, Mom?"
"Hmm?"
"I said, are you proud of me?"
I remember how surprised, and indeed, rattled I had been when Bert had told me after our raid on DYNETECH that he was proud of me and that I had every right to call myself a Knight Saber. I had never heard that from anybody, not my aunts or my mom. I never asked to be praised, and hearing it from Bert for the first time…I hadn't known how to react. He had turned and left after saying that, leaving me tongue-tied, stupefied.
"Of course I'm proud of you. Why are you asking?"
"Because I…" I wiped away the tears that now freely coursed down my cheeks. "There were so many times I felt like a burden. So many times I…I thought it would have been better if I had died at the summit, because I know you guys…put your asses on the line for me so many times. I felt like I was in the way. I felt like everyone would have been better off if I just disappeared."
Mom hugged me. "Yume…you were never in the way. And don't ever think we would've been better off if you'd died. Saving each others' asses, that's just part of what we do. We're friends and teammates; we wouldn't do anything else. You think I'd let you hang out to dry? Like hell. You were never a burden. And I was always proud of you. Every single battle. I'd think, wow, that's my little girl killing Boomers. I was proud then, and I'm proud now. Don't ever doubt that."
"You swear?"
"Like a sailor."
I let out a laugh and hugged her back, squeezing tight. I couldn't remember the last time we'd hugged like this, or talked like this. It had been a long time coming, and I was glad we were on good terms now. I'd thought I didn't care if Mom was pissed off at me, but it had affected me more than I myself knew.
"Sylia told me to give you this," she said, pulling out a slip of paper from her jeans pocket. She put it in my hand, and I unfolded it and took a look. It was a string of numbers, with a smaller number below it.
"What's this?" I asked.
"It's an account number and PIN for the Bank of Tokyo. Sylia and I set it up soon after the Sabers started it up again."
I was confused. "Is this the account our fees get deposited into?"
She laughed. "No, no. We set it up for you."
"For…me? Why? I told Sylia to keep my part of whatever fee we charged. My suit or Monsoon is always needing something done to it—"
"Not all the time. Yeah, she'll take part of it and use it for repairs, but whatever's left over from your share, she'll deposit into that account."
"She's been doing this for the past three years?"
"Yup."
"But why? And why tell me this now?"
"She figured there was probably enough in there by now that you could use it for something. And since apparently we have the chance to retire…" She shrugged and grinned. "Maybe you could move out of that dinky apartment of yours and find some real digs. Maybe do something with that special spot of yours."
"Who told you about that?!" I barked, making her jump and laugh. "I told Linna to not tell anybody!!"
"Well, she did. I guess you go up there a lot when you just want time to think or something, huh? Sounds like a plan to me. Not a whole lot of quiet places you can go to in Tokyo, after all. Did you ever think about moving out there?"
I looked down at the numbers on the paper again, then looked back up at her. "S-sure," I said, "but that'd make it impossible to get into town in time to help kill Boomers. I always blew it off as a pipe dream. I can barely get by as it is, let alone save for something like that."
"Well, the amount in that account should help a bit, then."
"…How much is IN this account, Mom?" I asked flatly. I couldn't imagine it'd be all that much. I did have a tendency to be reckless, after all.
"I don't know the exact amount Sylia quoted me, but I think she said somewhere around two-hundred-million yen."
I sputtered and crushed the paper in my hand. "T-two…hundred…? You're kidding me!!"
"Ok, I threw in my share too," she admitted with a shrug. "So what? That should be enough to do something with."
"But…but it's too much!!"
"Just 'cause you've never had that much at your personal disposal before," she said. "But don't let Linna know about it, or she'll dump it all in the stock market and lose it!"
I had to let out a laugh at that. Linna probably would!
"So? Any plans for that money?"
I had to digest this. Two hundred million yen? That was more than I ever thought I'd have. It was true, Mom was a rock star and had tons and tons of money, but she didn't flaunt it. She gave most of it to charity and causes she cared about. She always said she'd never be able to spend that much money on herself, so why keep it? She probably still had more than enough to live on the rest of her life. But me? What could I use this money for? If it was true that we could retire, then that certainly opened up a lot of possibilities.
I did have a dream. Even this amount of money may not have been enough to finance it, but it could be a start.
I grinned. "You know what? I think I do have a plan for this."
Crisp, brown leaves fell from the trees as I drove up the hill outside Minobu, the sun in the almost-cloudless sky above me casting its rays down. Despite it being October, it had been so warm lately I figured it was probably one of those times you could call it an 'Indian summer'. Indeed, under my jacket I wore a sleeveless tee, and I'd had to lather on sunscreen so I wouldn't burn. My hair, tied back in its usual braid, beat against my back as I found myself caught in a headwind.
Today, unlike previous times, this was not a time when I just wanted to be alone for a bit. No, today, I was checking on the progress of a little project that was underway at what was my special spot. As I got to the top of the hill, I saw the clearing that I usually hung out at, but instead of it just being a clearing, occupying part of that spot was the framing of what was going to be a house. The siding was new – that hadn't been up the last time I had visited, several days ago – and I could make out two men on the roof, nailing tiles down. I just smiled as I brought the bike to a halt and climbed off, pulling off my helmet.
"How's it going?" I yelled to the men on the roof.
"Great!" one of them yelled back. "We just started on the tiling about an hour ago, but we should have it done by the end of the day."
"You really got the siding up quick! I wasn't expecting that to be done so quick!"
"Sylia hired us because we ARE quick!" he laughed.
I really had to hand it to Sylia. She was able to find a contracting company for me that didn't use Boomers, which was what I had requested, and after checking several out, she was able to find a reputable one that not only was fast, but did some of the highest-quality work around. I pulled out a bag lunch from the side compartment of my bike and sat down in the grass nearby, pulling out a bento box from the bag. It was something I had only discovered recently, and they usually offered much healthier fare than hamburger places offered, and plus they were cheap, which was a big plus for me. I could imagine Mom laughing at me for having such an old-fashioned lunch, but I didn't care.
A green car pulled up beside my bike, and when I turned to look to see whose it was, I didn't have to look for long; I saw a black-haired girl step out, her own lunch in hand, waving hello. "Linna!" I exclaimed, waving her over. "What're you doing here?"
"Thought I'd check up on the progress of your house," she said, sitting down next to me.
"Good timing, I just got here myself." I took a bite of one of the rice balls.
"Oh my God, is that a bento?!" she remarked, laughing. "I didn't think I'd see you with one of those! You're such a girl of the '50's!"
"What's wrong with the traditional stuff? This is healthy."
"It is, it is. It's just…odd to see you of all people—"
"Okay, can it."
"I'm not making fun!" She pulled out a small salad and began eating. "Everyone should go back to bentos. People are getting so fat these days, and even the girls in the classes at the Beehive leave right away to pack back on all the calories they just burned. Speaking of which..." She turned to me. "How's the new gym coming along?"
"It should be ready next month, about the same time as the house. Thanks for helping me with that business loan, by the way. Most of that money in that account went towards buying this land and the stuff for the house. I never would've been able to afford it otherwise."
She shrugged. "Stuff is expensive nowadays. And hopefully it'll do well enough that you'll be able to pay that off in no time. So what're you going to use the new gym for?"
I smiled and shoved the rest of the rice ball in my mouth. "I'm gonna…" I swallowed. "I'm gonna train gymnasts there. I went to the Olympics, and I want to help give other girls the opportunity to do the same."
"Don't you want to go again?"
"Sure I do!"
"I ask because you just might be training your future rivals," she said with a naughty grin. "I hope you know that."
"I do, but I still want to give girls that chance. This gym may not be in the heart of Tokyo, but I think that'll actually be an advantage. These girls won't have to worry about the Tokyo smog clogging up their lungs when they do their workouts."
"That's true." She finished her salad. "Need help with a name for the gym? I could help you think of something."
"A quirky name? I dunno. I haven't really thought about it yet. I can't have anything with 'bee' in it, 'cause it's not gonna be a real fitness bee. It's gonna be a gymnastics gym in every sense of the word. I need something that'll convey that."
"Well, if you need me, I have about a million suggestions."
"I know you do."
After I finished my lunch, I set the bento back in the bag and laid back in the grass, staring up at the sky with my arms spread out on either side of me. "It's nice here, isn't it?" I breathed, taking in a gulp of fresh air.
"Yup." She laid back with me. "Maybe I should ask Sylia for money so I can move out here too!" she laughed.
"But if Boomers really DO come out again then the Sabers will really be screwed!" I joked.
"It's been three months since any came out. I don't want to jinx us, but I think we might actually be okay. Emi really did keep us from having to go out again."
"Yeah…" I let out a sigh. "Do you think it'll last?"
"Like I said, don't wanna jinx us, but I hope so."
"Me too. I guess normal life isn't so bad, is it?"
"Nah. Being a hero is overrated."
I grinned. "No, I don't think so. Emi is a hero in every sense of the word. She saved Tokyo…and she saved us."
"Normal life is adventurous enough for me."
"Yeah. I might actually agree with you on that one…"
A time when we didn't have to go out and fight Boomers… It had been three years since the Knight Sabers had reappeared, and back then I was a somewhat naïve sixteen-year-old girl, who had only heard of the Sabers through stories I had heard as a child. Seeing them in person was a conflicting feeling; sure it was awesome, but knowing they consisted of my mother and my aunts…it was awesome and strange at the same time. Over the past three years we had been through a lot together, and I had been forced to grow up, from a sixteen-year-old who felt she could do anything to a nineteen-year-old who was jaded from knowing she couldn't do everything, scarred on the inside and outside, knowing now what true loss was, and meant.
Becoming a Knight Saber had meant a baptism by fire, in terms of growing up. I'd done it a lot faster than I should have, than anybody should have. I had seen things that nobody outside of a warzone should have ever seen. In many ways, I was far older than my nineteen years, and in others, I was definitely my age. If the Knight Sabers really could retire, then maybe I would finally, again, be able to know what a normal life was like, be able to age as I was supposed to without being forced to do so any more than I already had.
I couldn't undo what I had seen, what I had done, what I had experienced over the past three years of my life. The only thing I could do was learn from them. Trying to repress them, forget them…I had learned the hard way that was the worst thing to try to do; I had suffered greatly for it, but I knew that now. As painful as remembering certain pieces of your past is, trying to forget it is even more so.
My experiences from three months ago…I had nightmares from them every now and then. I couldn't stand rain very much, but I was learning to deal with it again, or at least tolerate it; it wasn't something I had any control over, after all. I was just getting to the point where people could come up behind me and touch me and I wouldn't jump and try to deck them in fear that they were one of the two bastards from ASI.
As for the head ASI bastard Emi had mentioned…Isamu…nobody heard anything from him after that. Nothing on the news or anything. Sylia had guessed that either he'd gone underground to hide from Quincy, or that Quincy had already taken care of him. I didn't care. The OMS was gone, so whatever he had planned to do, he couldn't do anyway. And it couldn't be rebuilt, thanks to Emi's hacking into the Genom systems. Maybe destroying her and the OMS had been the best thing to do, after all. It didn't mean that I liked it, and of course I didn't, but at the same time, I couldn't help but be proud of her for what she'd done. Even if the rest of Tokyo outside of the Knight Sabers would never know her name, I would. And it was enough. She really was a hero in my eyes. I could never have pulled off what she had done. I think only someone like her could have done it. Done in by one of their own creations…if that wasn't poetic justice, I didn't know what was.
I kinda missed going out to kill Boomers, but right now, I couldn't have cared less if we didn't have to go out ever again. Linna was right. Normal life was adventurous enough for anybody. You didn't need to be a superhero or anything like that for it to be exciting.
I supposed that for the first time in three years, I was going to find out just how exciting it could be.