Disclaimer: So, if I took an aging potion and changed a couple other things like appearance, increasing my talent level in writing, the location of my home, and the number of people who have heard of me, I could be J.K. Rowling and actually own some of this stuff…
Chapter 4: The Setting of my Impossible Summer Goal8 August
7:03
I have set a world record. It is only 7:03 and I already have one EM under by belt for today. Harry was walking past my room I feel out of bed with a thump that woke me up. Harry had to come in my room and see if I was ok. How sweet…
10:58
I am in love with Harry Potter.
11:01
Oh, Merlin, this could become a problem. I am definitely not in love with Harry Potter. I am not, I am not, I am not!
12:33
Mr. Potter is too old for me.
12:34
Only a year…
12:35
Nope. Definitely too old. I am not the sort of girl who seeks older men.
12:38
Today's vibes are not so good. My hair…Will. Not. Lie. Flat. FLATTEN, YOU STUPID HAIR!!!
12:40
Dear Merlin. I'm yelling at my hair. I'm almost as nuts as Mum.
13:00
Almost. But not quite. I caught her on the floor sticking a fake wand in her ear, yelling, "Dear Merlin, what did I do to deserve this family?!?" You know, I kind of feel the same way, except for the part where I don't stick fake wands in my ear.
13:46
Maybe it's a new cult she's forming. The find-a-fake-wand-and-stick-it-in-your-ear-while-moaning-to-Merlin-about-your-family Cult. Maybe I'll join.
14:23
I wonder if Harry would notice if I joined a cult? It would probably greatly reduce my already slimming chances of getting him to notice the littlest Weasley. So much for the cult-joining plan.
15:09
My summer goal this year is for the invincible, incredible, hot, smart, nice, funny and famous Harry James Potter to ask me out.
15:24
So maybe it's a little bit of an impossible goal but I've always liked to live on the edge of things, haven't I? Oh, yes, I have. Like that time I drank firewhiskey…oh, wait – that was an accident, wasn't it? Yeah – I thought it was butterbeer….
15:32
Oh, but there was that time when I wrote the valentine for Harry in first year. OK – never mind, that was just stupid. It did not involve dangerous living whatsoever.
15:42
Hm…I think I might have blown up a couple potions before…pretty dangerous, but definitely accidents. Damn it. And the whole cooking fiasco, when the muggle studies people tried to teach me but I blew up the microwave and burnt soup…
16:00
Ooh – I have it! There was one time, when I was 4, I think, and I tried to kill Ron with my goblin dolly. Oh, yeah. Now that's what I call dangerous living.
16: 43
Dear Merlin. The most dangerous thing I've ever done was when I was 4 and tried to kill my brother with a goblin dolly. I'm currently pondering the fact that I may need serious help. I may have to go check out one of those muggle shirks, or whatever they're called…the self-help people. Speaking of which, when I was little Dad dragged me into a muggle bookstore and do you know where I found him after about an hour of crying because the pictures in the books wouldn't move? The self-help section. Yes, that's right. My father. In the self-help section of a muggle bookstore. But I didn't know what exactly self-help meant at the time. Plus, I was kind of wrapped up with the fact that the pictures in the books didn't move. You know, I bet Phlegm still cries when the pictures don't move. Sodding idiot. I miss Bill.
20:58
Harry is the first person of male gender I have seen eating with his mouth closed. This is really pathetic seeing that I live with 6 males. (Not including Percy, who doesn't live here anymore. Just for the record, he didn't eat with his mouth closed either.) 1,000 points for Harry.
22:34
So, I've been thinking about the whole Tonks-Remus thing. They would be really cute together, don't you think? Oh, wait, that's right. You're a notebook. You don't…think…yeah. I might be OK. Eventually.
24:11
But seriously, Tonks and Remus should really get together. I always thought he was gay, but I can tell he really likes her. Like – the way Ron and Hermione like each other. The way I like Harry. The way I wish Harry would like me. That kind of like. The Tonks-Remus like-kind. Oh, you know, the reason they probably haven't already gotten together is because of Remus's…condition. I bet that's it. Wow, I am so intelligent. Really, really intelligent, that's me!
24:20
Yeah, the intelligence thing kind of died, due to the fact that yours truly just missed the bed trying to get in.
9 August
9:11
So far I have not succeeded in my summer goal. Bugger.
9:20
Although I suppose if Harry had asked me out before 9:11 in the morning I might have beat him over the head with his dear beloved broomstick. Needless to say, I am not a morning person. Even though I can never get up after 8:00 in the bloody morning. Melhehhhhhhhbeh. Oh yeah – about that. It's called a sound. I think I just might have an extraordinary ability to write out sounds. I wonder if I could make that a career? Do you have to go to school for that? Hello, welcome to the School of Writing Sounds. I could be at the top of my class if I went there. I should apply. Oh, right. I forgot. It doesn't exist….
9:35
That's sad. The only school in the world I could be top of my class in doesn't exist. Maybe I'll set it up. The School of Writing Sounds. Excellent. And nobody would ever get detentions, because, believe me – detentions with Filch? I've had one too many of those. Shudder – the dungeons at night.
10:42
I've discovered that Filch is out to get people. Well, OK, it wasn't a recent revelation, because everyone knows that. But seriously. In Ron's first year he made Ron and Harry and Malfoy and, I think it was Neville or something, go into the Forbidden Forest…at night…in the dark…with no adult on Harry and Malfoy's side…except for a cowardly dog…and what happened to be in the woods but…what was it again?...oh yeah…LORD VOLDEMORT. Merlin. You'd think Dearest Dumbles would have discovered that since he's supposed to be such a genius…
15:04
Mum made us de-gnome the garden this morning. Gag. De-gnoming is the most boring work ever. The boys make a game out of it but they didn't let me play (nothing unusual) so I was bored out of my wits. I can get the gnomes twice as far as them, which is maybe why they won't let me play. Or perhaps they're just being brothers. Harry and Hermione didn't have to de-gnome because "They're guests," according to Mum. I can't feel too sorry for myself though because Hermione made Harry do homework.
16:07
In a sad way I've kind of been wondering what the Sorting Hat's song is going to be this year when we go back to school. It might have something to do with the dark side, etc. Like the "mortal peril" thing on Mum's clock. You know, I keep dreaming about that…a wee bit scary. But I should probably not think about that because the last time I did I found Bill and Phlegm making out…oh, where was that again? Oh, yeah…my bleeding closet. Merlin, Bill you could at least have a snog fest in your own sodding closet.