Chapter 5 – I hate this
Chikara was running as fast a she could from the battleground. Her breath was uneven, but she didn't care, she held someone much more in need of breath and life than she was. She concentrated on spotting the holes in the ground, so she wouldn't fall.
They were now close to a small water source. She stopped nearby, looking back. They seemed to be far from the battleground. The ageless woman sighed loudly; she was running for what it seemed to be hours.
She swallowed loudly and looked at the demon in her arms; he looked horrible.
Koga clenched his large wound with his hand, hissing from the pain it was sending him. He was afraid for his pup. "M-my baby" he said with a weak shuddering voice.
Tears ran silently on Chikara's cheeks: "Don't worry, sweetie, everything's going to be fine" she tried to reassure the wolf demon. As the words left her mouth, her thoughts were completely the opposite; she prayed he would survive.
Walking near a tree and stopping there, Chikara put Koga down and started to look at his wound. She wiped her tears and bit her lip; the pup –or pups- was probably already dead. She sighed again and started the healing process. She didn't need to worry about being attacked, as with Koga's state, the pendant had created a barrier from everything else, rendering the goddess and the wolf invisible to almost every eyes. That's how they had been able to escape from Naraku.
"Okay, Koga, stay with me, I'm going to heal you… just don't leave me here alone, 'kay?" Inside her mind, she laughed bitterly at the euphemism she had used in her sentence. 'Death will not come for you today, Koga. Don't worry…' she thought.
The wolf managed a frail smile and nodded. His strength didn't last long as he fainted, his head slowly lolling to one side.
The woman breathed deeply, trying to calm down, to able her powers to bend better against her will. Doing the same as earlier, she elevated her staff in the air, and palm toward the sky, she concentrated to get more energy to heal the wound. "O Sun, please assists me to eliminate the pain that is tenaciously killing this wolf."
She frowned, receiving more energy from the sun above, in the sky. She guided part of her energy to give it to Koga's body.
The wound was closing and slowly, blood started to escape less and less from the gash. Soon it was completely healed. Thankfully, no scar adorned the slightly tanned skin, because it had been healed by holy powers.
Chikara sat down on the cool grass, a sigh escaping her quivering lips. She was tired, but happy. "It's over, at last." She brought her hand to pet Koga's hair, smiling.
The wolf demon breathed deeply in his recovery sleep, as to agree with the goddess beside him.
The sun high in the sky, Chikara finally heard the birds singing, since her mind had been preoccupied by the demon next to her. The shield that was rendering them invisible earlier started to fade, now that the bearer of Chikara's pendant was in a safer state.
Her smile slowly dropped; she could feel the next event was going to be much more dreadful.
°°°
Inuyasha was so troubled that he hadn't felt that Kirara and Kagome had been secretly following him.
He was searching blindingly in the forest around the hut; he was starting to panic as he couldn't even fin Koga's scent anywhere in the region. 'What if they are really somewhere he couldn't find? No. Chikara couldn't have gotten really far with Koga injured in her arms…' He tried to regain a somewhat calm composure to help him locate the two missing.
He stopped running; closing his eyes, he tried to detect the faintest hint of his mate's scent.
The young maiden and the cat demon stopped dead in their tracks; good thing the wind wasn't in their back or else Inuyasha would have smelt them.
A few minutes later, his unusual patience rewarded him and he was able to find which direction to go; the protecting sphere had been released.
°°°
Chikara was patiently untangling Koga's midnight black hair with her slender fingers, trying to calm her own nerves. She started singing something soft, while observing around to see if she would see Inuyasha coming.
A few minutes passed until the awaited half-demon showed himself.
"Chikara!" he called.
She shushed him immediately: "Stop, you'll wake Koga."
Kagome and Kirara settled in some bushes to spy on the three individuals. "Oh, Kirara, I wonder how is Koga…" the maiden said softly.
Once the dog demon settled down beside the wolf on the ground, he instantly put a hand to his lover's expanded belly. "Is it…okay?"
She shook her head; sad to be the one to announce the heartbreaking news. "The hole… it was too… deep and large. I…" saying those words had a hard time getting out of her narrowing throat. Emotions were getting the best of her; she could hardly keep the tears inside. "I think it died on the spot… when Naraku plunged his-"
"Enough!" Inuyasha snapped. He didn't want more mental pictures of what happened; he was there to observe the incident. He gritted his teeth together: "I understand" he said, more softly.
The goddess brought a hand to her heart and looked aside; she tried to cover her tears by hiding them with her bangs: "I'm sorry Inuyasha… I couldn't save your pup."
The half-demon closed his fist and punched the ground. 'Damn!' was the only thing going through his mind. He sighed deeply and looked at Chikara; the poor woman took all the blame and he felt guilty for it, because he had been the one protecting the wolf demon at that moment. Chikara had been busy healing Kagome during that moment. 'And I was the one who had sent her to Kagome…' he thought.
Inuyasha opened his mouth, searching for words: "Look, ahh… no, it's your fault. You did what you had to do; you healed Kagome." He looked down to Koga and stroke his cheek, but still talking to her, he said: "Please stop crying… it… feels like someone is stabbing me each time you cry…" he made a sad smile "and it hurts."
He looked up and put a hand on her arm: "You did save Koga and that is the most important thing right now." He searched for her eyes, trying to comfort her.
She slowly turned her face to look at the dog demon.
He could never have predicted what she was about to answer: "How can you be so serene about all this, INUYASHA!? Can't you see!? I am a goddess damn it all! I am supposed to be able to protect everyone! From the unborn to the dead! I am a failure!" Her teeth clenched together, her face was red from the emotions. She shook her fist and hit her lap angrily. "I hate this!"
Inuyasha then acted without thinking, and he slapped her, just enough to bring her back to reality.
From afar Kagome tried to hold back the 'sit' word in order to punish him. Kirara mewled, reminding the modern priestess that they were supposed to be hiding. "I know! I know! But…" she whispered harshly to the cat demon.
Time stopped for a second; Inuyasha wondered if he had done the right thing.
Spilt tears started to dry as everyone came back to senses.
Chikara got hold of her emotions. Her blue eyes stared into gold ones: "I… am sorry, Inuyasha. Thank you." She sniffed. "I think I was losing control of my emotions." She closed her eyes. Still shaking from her outburst, she tried to breath deeply to calm down.
The half-demon apologised: "I didn't know how to react. I mean, I never saw you like this. Normally you cry, but just now, you were frightening. I had to do something." He felt uneasy about having hit someone he had great respect for.
The goddess chuckled: "Well, as you can see, it worked." She brought her hands to her face, and rubbed her face to get rid of the last tears that had made way on her cheeks.
A silence had installed itself between the two persons as Koga was slowly opening his eyes.
"Koga!" Inuyasha quickly said, already fretting over the other.
Kagome was surprised as the small group was reacting to something. "Too bad I can't get closer, I can't hear what they are saying" she said to Kirara. When she saw Koga moving a bit, she concluded that he was awake.
"So, how do you feel, Koga?" the goddess asked gently.
The pregnant demon answered with a groan. "Meh…" he brought a hand to his face, rubbing it to get rid of the sleep left.
"Hm. I guess that you're not feeling that bad," Chikara said, with a small smile.
'She's acting strangely' Inuyasha thought.
The ageless woman checked again through tattered clothes to see if there was any small injury left. "Your body is still coping with the attack, even though the wound has been healed completely."
Inuyasha felt odd, as though something was going to happen next. He knew Chikara was hiding something. She didn't look completely reassured; her bout of anger was probably caused by this mystery 'thing'.
The dog demon looked directly into the goddess' eyes. "Tell me, woman, is everything over?" His eyebrow raised high, showing his intent of discovering the truth.
She smiled uneasily: "Inuyasha, dear, what are you talking about? Can't you be more precise?"
Koga propped himself on his elbows and frowned: "What is wrong, mutt?"
The half-demon ignored Koga and spat his answer: "Tell what is going on with Koga! You said the pup was dead. What's next?"
Chikara's lips formed a straight line. Her eyes were cold as she answered him with a voice bare of emotions: "He is going to have a miscarriage, because the body will reject the dead foetus. There. Are you happy now?!" Anger was coming back, full strength.
It was like Koga had received a full blow in the face; his heart skipped a beat: "WHAT!?" he grabbed the front of Chikara's kimono and drew her close. "My baby is… dead?" he said, barely whispering the last word.
She looked at him with the same cold eyes she had used to say her last sentence: "Yes, I'm sorry."
Koga let go of her kimono to fall back on the ground; his head hit the ground, but he didn't feel it. The truth was hurting him more.
Inuyasha was afraid Koga would react badly, so he tried to prepare the young wolf demon: "You know Koga, the pup died on the spot because of the attack… Don't worry, everything will be fine" he said.
The prince shook his head: "No… IT WON'T BE FINE!" He started to cry silently and it almost broke Inuyasha's heart to see his lover crying.
Chikara was fixing a random spot in the forest, when she felt Kagome and Kirara's auras. "Come out you two, don't try to hide!" She said sternly.
The young woman and the cat demon came out of their hiding. When they approached, they saw how Koga was distraught. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spy… I simply wanted to see how Koga was…"
Inuyasha barked: "I told you to go back to camp! Why didn't you listen to me?! A demon could have attacked you!"
Kagome was hurt by Inuyasha's comment: "Yeah, well I am not alone you know!"
"Stop yelling you two!" Chikara quickly interrupted them. "Kagome, might as well be useful and fetch me some wood. Kirara go with her." When the two females didn't budge, she rushed them: "Now go! I am not in a mood to be joking around."
While the two hurried away, Koga asked: "Chikara… please tell me, what is going to happen next?"
Feeling the sadness in his voice, the goddess tried to soften her look a bit: "I don't really know. I saw human women having miscarriage, but I have no idea how it works with male demons. Normally women that experience miscarriage feel cramps, from small to intense and then… there is heavy bleeding as the body empties the dead foetus." She looked at the ground. "I'm sorry, I think I have been a bit harsh with you… It's just that, my emotions are all mixed up right now", she added, putting a hand over her eyes.
Koga took her hand in his to reassure her: "It's okay. I… I think I understand how you feel. Do you know how long it will take to… happen?" He couldn't bring himself to say the word aloud.
"It could take a few minutes to a few hours. We can do nothing but wait."
Inuyasha spoke up, determined to act courageously, knowing that what Koga will go through will be a tough trial: "Is there anything I can do to help?"
"When they will be back, make a fire, it's a bit cold; it will be easier to wait while warm."
°°°
"I wonder what will happen to Koga…" Kagome said, looking at the sky.
Kirara mewled.
The girl sighed. "Haven't you noticed that he and Inuyasha are acting weird?"
The cat demon swished her tails.
"Yeah, I thought so…"
They continued to pick up wood that Chikara had asked for fire.
°°°
Inuyasha's foot was tapping on the ground. He was tired of waiting, but at the same time, he didn't want 'it' to happen at all. He looked at the wolf beside him, as anxious as him.
"Mutt, stop that. It's getting on my nerves" the prince said.
Chikara sighed. "I know it's hard to wait, but…" she didn't know what to say. Her thoughts were all mixed up in her head and a strong headache was beating her skull… hard. Closing her eyes, she heard Kagome and Kirara arriving, dropping the wood near the sitting group.
"Well, here you go, Chikara…" the modern priestess said, "and I'm sorry I followed you, Inuyasha, I know I shouldn't have." She made a sad smile, knowing she did wrong.
The dog demon nodded, seeing she was truly sorry. He forced himself to smile back, but everyone could see that it was filled with worry for Koga.
Chikara silently got up and put her hands on Kagome's shoulders. "Now listen to me, dear. I want you to go back to camp. Tell the others that you found us and that we are okay."
Kagome nodded, reluctantly. "But-"
"Not 'buts' young lady. You disobeyed once; I don't want it to happen again. Reassure Miroku, Sango and Shippo that we will be back as soon as we are finished here."
Kagome looked puzzled. "What is left to do?"
The three others looked rather grim to say it aloud. Koga finally gathered enough courage to tell the young woman: "Kagome, come here." She did as asked. "I want you to know that my baby is dead. My body will…" his heart pinched at the next words, "reject this pup."
Kagome's eyes began to fill up with tears: "No! It can't be! I'm sorry, it's all my f-"
"Don't!" He encircled her wrist with his hand: "It's not you fault, and neither is Chikara's, Inuyasha's… or anyone else's but mine." He released her, fearing it might have scared her. "I shouldn't have brought this upon you guys at all-"
Inuyasha immediately brought his hand on Koga's shoulder with a none-too-gentle glare that told him to shut up.
Closing her eyes, Kagome sighed. She opened them to look at Koga: "Fine, I'll go…" Addressing to the other two, she said: "Take care of him, please."
And so, Kagome and Kirara walked away to join the others at the small hut they had been in earlier that day.
Inuyasha brought the wood in a small heap. Then, when he was about to find large rocks to start the fire, Chikara simply brought her staff to touch one of the twigs and said: "Burn!" She had used the same thing during the battle, and as before, it had the same effect. The fire was now heating the surroundings.
Koga was surprised. "Why don't you use this in battle?"
"I am the goddess of the Sun, which in its own way can burn, but it is nothing compared to real fire spells. It also takes some of my precious energy, and since I am better at healing and defending than attacking, I keep it for those two purpose" she said simply.
She could feel uneasiness in the prince's movements.
Inuyasha had felt it too, because he frowned before asking: "Are you okay?"
Koga didn't know to answer. For the last minute, his whole body was somewhat telling him something. As soon as he felt a cramp, he knew what was happening: "Guys, I think it's time…" he said, tears ready to be released. Those cramps were the signs that it was real; after all this, he wouldn't be pregnant anymore. 'I wasn't be able to give Inuyasha what he wanted.' He growled when another cramp came, this time a bit harder. "Stupid piece of sh-"
"Koga!" Chikara scolded him. Her mouth became a straight line: "Okay, let's get ready. I assume that there would be a birth channel that resembles a female's, but… where?" The most seriously possible, she asked Koga to take off his clothes and Inuyasha to take his fire-rat coat to hide Koga's intimate parts.
"WHAT!?" both demons said in unison. Koga hissed because another cramp, again fiercer than the last ones, hit it.
"Honestly Koga, how am I supposed to keep track of the situation if I can't see what's happening because your clothes are covering everything…"
The prince looked at the dog demon and blushed. Inuyasha asked quickly: "But why are you covering his lower parts?" he coughed. 'It ain't nothing I haven't seen yet…' he finished for himself.
'I heard that, brat.' Chikara said telepathically, which made Inuyasha blush madly. She sighed: "Because that's what I asked you to do. What are you two waiting for? Move!"
The demons did as asked, not wanting to angry the goddess. Inuyasha took off his haori and put it on Koga's lower body. Then he sat behind him to support him. Koga loosened his clothes to get out of them, but kept his loose shirt on, since it was chilly in the forest, even with a small fire beside them.
Chikara surprised Koga when she pulled to see under the fire rat coat. One of her main reason to cover Koga was that she didn't want him to see, in case he'd panic by what was going on. She could detect, even without a keen sense of smell like demons, the scent of blood. She looked at the source; there was a thin line that was opening near his pubic hair, between his navel and penis. She was a bit startled by this, as she had thought that the opening would happen between his anus and sex, like females. 'Oh well, at least we won' t have to cut him open…'
Chikara tried to keep her face straight, but it was a difficult task for her.
°°°
It had been a rather short event, but painful on the psychological side.
A lot had been spilt, but not only from Koga's part. Chikara was inconsolable.
Inuyasha was trying to stay strong for the two, but he felt the same as them. As he finished filling the small hole that was the grave of the foetuses, a few tears escaped; he held the others back, because he didn't wanted anyone to see him weak like that. He looked back at where the two were. He noticed Koga wasn't moving. He approached his lover silently.
'He's exhausted' the goddess said, mentally, to the dog demon.
Inuyasha fell to his knees beside her, but didn't say anything as his face was full of anger.
Chikara thought at first that he was mad at Koga, but when she saw tears on his cheek, she knew that he was actually ashamed of himself. She gently guided him toward her and put her arms around his strong body. His face fell on her shoulders, where he cried silently. She combed his long hair and started to sing the lullaby that she usually sang to her son. Her heart clenched and right now she wanted to see and hold her own child after what had just happened. 'Don't worry Inuyasha, time will heal the wounds' she told the dog demon.
The said male sighed and dried his tears. "Let's go back to the camp. Koga needs to be in a safe place and here we are opened to attacks." He gently put the wolf demon on his back with the aid of Chikara.
As they were ready to go, the goddess turned to the other: "You know what Inuyasha? I pray for the second time today…" she held the dog's hand in her own. "But this time I pray the gods that your children will have a happy afterlife."
He didn't asked what had been the reason for the first time, because he knew he didn't want an answer.
I'm sorry it took so long to update, but... it seemed at first that I was simply being too lazy to write... but I noticed that I simply didn't want to write this cruel chapter... poor Koga. I don't know if you noticed, but in general, I don't like 'happy endings' too much. He he please review, I'd love to hear from you guys (and what you have to say about this chapter in general). Have a nice day!