Sakura's Trials pt2 – The Role of a Kunoichi

The team reassembled at dawn, each carrying packs containing supplies and weapons for the journey. Sakura felt a strange sense of déjà vu while waiting for Temari to arrive at the village gates. Again, she was leaving on a long-term mission, only her second C-rank, yet it felt odd for it to be Neji and Tenten waiting with her rather than Naruto and Sasuke.

And a lot has happened since the mission to the Country of Waves. The exam and the invasion by the Sand and Sound for one, and the changes in myself for another. She reached up to her shoulders, readjusting the pack on her back. Heavy… Maybe I should see about getting a proper one, like Sasuke-kun has, rather than one that seems fashionable with one strap. It doesn't distribute the weight properly. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Tenten look up and glare at something behind her so Sakura turned around and gave a warm smile to Temari. "Good morning, Temari-san. Are you ready for the trip?"

Temari sighed and rolled her shoulders. "If it wasn't for the fact that I have to be escorted through Konoha's territory, I could've been at the Fire capitol already." She looked amongst the group. "You guys all set?" Her gaze lingered on where Tenten still glared. "Or am I going to have to go find another team for this mission?"

"Why would you need someone else?" snapped Tenten. "Aren't we good enough?"

Temari advanced. "I'm not working with a team that won't follow orders. If you can't work through whatever it is that's bugging you, that's fine, but you won't be on this mission."

"Now, now," said Sakura, stepping in between the two other kunoichi. "We're all allies here, and further delaying the mission won't help anyone." She looked pleadingly at Tenten. The village needs the money and goodwill that this mission will bring. Can't you see that?

Tenten snorted, not taking her eyes off Temari. "You haven't even apologised for almost snapping my spine. Or maybe you don't remember that? How about the fact that if it wasn't for your team-mate, Lee could still be a ninja?"

Temari took a step back slightly. "Let me get this straight. You're holding a grudge for something that I personally had no control over? Believe me, if I'd tried to stop Gaara, he'd've done the same to me." Her expression darkened. "And as for our fight, maybe you don't remember but you had to sign a waiver about injury or death during the exam. That should've been your first clue that injuries were likely, and death possible. On top of that, I gave you more warning than I usually do my enemies to let you realise that you were at a disadvantage and to drop out of the fight. Finally, I tried not to use more force than was needed." She glared at Tenten. "Could you say the same? What would've happened if any of your knives or axes had hit me? Would they've just bounced off, or would you have killed me in order to reach the finals?" She shook her head. "You Konoha ninjas. You're all soft fools when it comes to war."

Tenten turned towards Sakura and Neji. "Aren't either of you going to say something? What about Lee? What about your Sasuke-kun and Naruto, Sakura?"

Neji shook his head. "None of that was directly her fault, and I assume she was just following orders."

Sakura looked down and nodded. "Yeah. I don't like it, but I agree with Neji-san. Temari-san shouldn't feel guilty, because she was obeying orders and was putting herself in danger by being that close to Gaara." She looked back up. "And we have orders to obey in taking this mission."

Tenten kept glaring. "She was involved in the attack on our village! There should be some sort of punishment for that."

"We're already being punished," said Temari. "Orochimaru double-crossed us all. The Kazekage is missing, presumed dead, our alliance with several of the major shinobi nations is in ruins because of the Sound, and the village council is trying to decide if all the blame should be on Gaara's head for ruining the plan, or on Kankuro and myself for letting him act too soon. I only got promoted because we lost so many men in the battle." She shook her head. "Orochimaru weakened both our villages and is probably trying to continue to drive a wedge between Konoha and the other villages. Us fighting like this is exactly what he wants." She looked over at Tenten. "So I'm not apologising, and it's not for you to decide about what punishment is or isn't appropriate. Right now you're my underling. I need to know if you'll follow orders. If you can't, then I'll get someone else to replace you."

Tenten scowled. "I'm not going anywhere. Neji and Sakura-san are my team. Where they go, I go. So I guess that means that I'll follow orders, as long as you're not leading us into a trap."

Temari nodded. "Good enough. Now, enough chatter. I want to get to the capitol today, and at least half-way to the border with Rain Country. Let's move." She strode out of the village gates then started running, confident that the others would follow.

Sakura ran alongside Tenten, who was still scowling, letting Neji take the rearguard position. "You know, Tenten-san, she's right. Our village probably killed some of her friends during the invasion, and we would've killed her at the time given the chance."

"So that means we should just pretend it never happened?" complained Tenten. "Why should the phrase 'I was ordered to' get rid of her personal responsibility? Couldn't she think for herself?"

"That is not how Konoha works," replied Neji. "Why should you expect the Sand to be any different?"

Tenten glared at Temari's back. "Konoha wouldn't train us to be so cold and uncaring."

Sakura shook her head. "If it was war, then I'm sure they would. Kakashi-sensei seems like some goofy man most of the time, but sometimes you can tell he's had to be that cold. The Rules of Shinobi Conduct all point to that as well. Never show emotion. Temari-san probably regrets what happened, she just can't say so."

"I don't buy it," said Tenten.

The group made good progress through the day, Temari managing to deliver her message by late morning and being asked to return in a few hours to receive the reply. The few hours they spent in the capitol were fascinating to Sakura, having never been there before. It was mostly spent in the market places, looking at the various exotic cloths and spices brought in from other lands. Both at the city gates and once in a random encounter, Temari was asked to produce papers showing that she had permission to be in Konoha's territory by the local ninja garrison. Sakura found it interesting to see ninjas of genin and chuunin rank whose careers had mostly stopped advancing and so now held posts of little importance, except as local and border guards. She was also glad that Tenten seemed to have stopped glaring so much and was accepting Temari slightly, listening to stories of some of the missions she had done over the course of her three years as a genin.

Upon receiving the reply, Temari decided to start the journey to the capitol of the Wind nation, rather than spending the night in the city. Sakura was somewhat disappointed at that, preferring to sleep in an inn than outside, but offered no complaints as Temari was the group leader. That night, they camped out in some caves near a river, the three Konoha ninjas taking turns throughout the night to stand watch. It was mutually agreed that, since part of the mission was to ensure that Temari did not tamper with the message in any way, she should not be left unattended to stand a watch. She held no complaints at getting a full night of sleep, and even jokingly called it a perk of being team leader.

The following morning, before setting out, Temari presented Sakura, Tenten and Neji with documents from the Sand which where counterparts to the papers she carried that gave her permission to be in Konoha's territory.

"After all," she explained. "It would be foolish for you to be detained if something were to happen to split us up. Messenger birds being sent from our council to yours have been going missing periodically with messages, so there must be spies or saboteurs at work. No doubt they have orders to deal with messengers on foot as well."

Sakura swallowed nervously. "Saboteurs? So, we could run into people who'd try to stop us?"

"Almost certainly," replied Temari. "But then, you all have combat experience. Or you'd better, because that's what your village charged me extra for."

Neji nodded. "Don't worry about that. Konoha wouldn't hire us out under false pretences."

"That you know of," replied Temari. "Organisations like Konoha are sneaky and always try to get the best out of the deal." She rose from the ground and made sure that her closed fan rested correct against her back. "Now, we should get moving again. We'll have to break at lunch, as we must cross part of the desert and it's best not to do that around midday."

The others nodded, similarly getting to their feet and shouldering their packs. Tenten grimaced slightly as she pulled hers on. "You know, there's a downside to being the weapons expert of the group. I can't wait until I manage to perfect that sealing jutsu."

Sakura tilted her head, curious. "Sealing jutsu? What kind of seal?"

Neji snorted. "She keeps playing around with storage seals. Trying to find a way that lets you put the weapons back into the scroll once you've used them without having to go through the whole complicated sealing ritual again."

Tenten nodded. "Like, I don't know, scroll pockets or something."

"Sounds an interesting idea," said Temari. "Was the move with the scrolls you did in the preliminaries something you'd invented then?"

"Yup!" Tenten reached round into her back-pouch and produced two scrolls. "I tend to carry a set where-ever I go." She made a face. "Only problem is, each scroll is one use only. I can't recharge them. Have to buy new scrolls and paint out the whole seal sequence again. Takes about five hours."

"Ouch," said Temari. "Still, I guess the scroll is useful to compress weight. You could carry hundreds of weapons and only be weighed down by a few kilos."

Tenten replaced the scrolls into the pouch. "Yeah, but I still have to carry around some outside of the scrolls. Else I end up with a pile of iron at my feet, when all I wanted was a kunai or a few senbon." She settled her pack more firmly across her shoulders. "Okay. Shall we go?"

Temari nodded and started to lead the way to the border.

They made it barely a mile into the country of Wind before their progress was interrupted with an array of trip-wires, explosive tags and kunai traps, forcing Temari to call a halt.

Neji was the first to spot the oncoming enemy, his byakugan picking them out at a distance. "A squad of four. Probably attracted by the noise." Together, the group moved into a circle standing back to back, Sakura momentarily glad that she was away from their oncoming direction.

Temari drew her fan from her back. "We wait to see who they are before we engage. If they're after messengers then we take them out and find out who sent them."

The genin nodded and Sakura drew a kunai, trying not to tremble. It's okay. I can do this. Gai-san has spent a lot of time teaching me taijutsu, and Kurenai-san taught me that jutsu to help in close combat. I'll be fine. She looked around slightly as a rustle of leaves heralded the appearance of the enemy.

To no-one's surprise, it was a squad of Sound ninjas, dressed in blacks and greys and hiding their faces behind masks. The leader appeared to sneer under his mask. "Kill the messengers."

Temari swung her arm round. "Kamaitachi!" Her attack made the Sound ninjas scatter out of the way and she surged forwards. "Take them on one on one! Go!"

Neji and Tenten both darted off in pursuit, Sakura hesitating for a moment before doing likewise, heading out after the one that had fled to the left on his own. Hurrying through the undergrowth, she kept a sharp eye out for traps and ducked as she saw a flicker of movement in the shadows of one of the trees. A kunai buried itself in the trunk of the tree that she had just been standing in front of and she spun to face her attacker, her own weapon held ready. Oh god, oh god, oh god…

The Sound ninja leapt for her, throwing shuriken in an arc to cut off her escape. Sakura ducked and rolled under them, scrabbling to her feet. She barely got her hands up in a guard before he was on her, another kunai in his hand and slashing out at her. Quickly, she parried his blows while looking for an opening to get away, knowing that being younger and female put her at a disadvantage for both strength and reach in close combat. She tried using her smaller stature and likely faster speed to give her own counter-attack and succeeded in landing a slash with her kunai, resulting in a light score across his chest and him backing up several paces. Sakura took the opening that his slight retreat gave and turned and ran, her hands starting to flick through a sequence of seals.

Please let this work, she thought as she ran, hearing the Sound ninja follow behind her, gaining. After all, it's the only advantage I could have in this fight. She reached out mentally for the unfamiliar chakra pattern of her pursuer, focused on it, then let the jutsu she had prepared connect. "Sakasekai no jutsu! (1)" She heard the Sound ninja stumble so she turned back towards him, stopping her flight and raising her kunai again.

The Sound ninja was laying on the ground, hands outspread. The kunai's point was buried into the ground and his fingers gripped the grass like he was hanging on for dear life. Sakura would not have been surprised if he was also using chakra to stick his feet to the ground. Slowly his body relaxed, and he got up off the ground. "Nice trick, but it won't work, little girl. What was it? Genjutsu? Who the hell uses that?"

Sakura kept watch on him, carefully. "I do. And you may laugh now, but I know that you're still in it."

"So what?" he asked, advancing slowly, testing with his feet as he went. "All I have to do is use my eyes, and ignore everything else."

Sakura smiled. "Idiot. My sakasekai no jutsu has flipped your balance around, swapping up for down. Your whole spatial awareness is off, and if you're anything like the other people who've come under this genjutsu, you've got your hands full just trying not to throw up."

The Sound ninja smiled back cruelly. "Maybe so, but you just confirmed that all this was is genjutsu." He brought his hands up, and Sakura could recognise his fingers moving into the position for the 'kai' seal that would break the genjutsu.

Seeing that her advantage was about to be taken away, Sakura ran forwards, throwing her kunai to force him to dodge without letting his hands meet. She kept advancing, throwing a punch towards him, which he ducked sloppily, giving her a sense of hope. Kurenai-san was right. Messing with other senses will let me fight a more skilled opponent as an equal! Quickly she followed up her attack, trying to disable the Sound ninja while not giving him the space to use the dispelling seal. With his wild swings and lack of co-ordination he eventually fell again, onto his back. Instinctively Sakura drew a kunai and put her weight behind it, plunging it into his heart.

The Sound ninja gurgled a few times, trying to sit up, then fell back and was deathly still.

Sakura scampered backwards off of the body, shaking. I've killed him… She brought her arms up around her chest, trying to ward off the trembling from the shock and adrenaline, then turned away to vomit, trying not to sob. I've killed a man. I know he was trying to kill me but, somehow, that doesn't seem to matter anymore, rationalised a part of her mind, which stood apart from the swirl of emotions making her body shake. Just seconds ago, he was a person, like me, now it's just dead meat… She shuddered again, unable to take her eyes from the body.

Eventually she became aware of a pair of hands holding her shoulders. "Sakura? Hey, come on, Sakura, don't go all to pieces on me."

Sakura blinked and became aware of Tenten watching her with a worried expression. "Tenten-san?"

Tenten nodded. "That's me. Come on, we need to get out of here in case there are any more of them. Temari said that she'd send word to her village that it's the Sound. She thinks that they'll definitely want to spend the manpower to rush them off." She stood and started to help Sakura up. "Now come on. Time for us to get moving again."

Sakura nodded weakly, then caught sight of the body again and froze.

Tenten looked over, then sighed. "It was him or you. And don't forget, he could've done a load of things to you first before he killed you, just because you're a kunoichi." She pulled Sakura up and gave her a shove to get her walking away from the body, towards where Neji and Temari stood looking concerned for her.

"First time?" asked Temari.

Sakura swallowed and nodded.

"It gets easier," replied Temari. "You'll always feel guilt for it, but it becomes easier to justify. Best to get it over with and then forget about it."

Sakura shuddered slightly. "How can you say that? How many people have you killed?"

"I don't know. I stopped counting a long time ago, so I could forget. Don't think about it any more. That's an order."

Sakura bit her lip then nodded.

Temari took a look round the group, checking that, while bruised and battered, no one was seriously injured. "Okay. The desert still needs crossing. Be good if we could make the coastal regions by nightfall. Lets get moving."

At Tenten's urging, Temari arranged quarters in the Wind capitol for the group within the Sand outpost, once they had delivered the message and received a promise of a reply the following morning. The main reason for the request was the fact that Sakura had barely said a word since the confrontation with the Sound ninjas. Together, the group had mutually decided to give Sakura space to work it through for herself, but by the evening Tenten had decided that Sakura at least needed to get her mind off things. It had been Temari's idea to go use the baths attached to the garrison, as they were currently the only women stationed there. Tenten took it as a sign of a truce between the two of them, after being attacked equally by the Sound.

Tenten found the methods used at the baths slightly curious. Unlike Konoha, with its nearby volcanic activity and hot springs, the Wind nation seemed to simply use large standing tubs of hot water to soak in after cleaning. After three days travel, Tenten found it good to get herself clean, unwinding her hair and washing the suds through. She finished washing, then walked over to the tub, taking pleasure in sinking up to her neck in the hot water, before looking over to where Sakura was laying back in her own tub, looking at the ceiling, face blank.

"Hey, Sakura?" said Tenten, casting through her mind for something to talk about to engage Sakura.

Sakura gave a small sound of response but declined to say anything.

Tenten pushed on, regardless. "I've been meaning to ask you since the last time we met with Ino for tea. I know you both cut your hair in the exams, but she's growing hers back out again. Why aren't you?"

"Too much bother," replied Sakura listlessly.

Tenten frowned. "What is? Surely cutting it is more bother, and right now it just looks a mess. All uneven and jagged."

Sakura shook her head slightly. "Long hair is just a liability in our jobs. A way to remind men that we're not one of them, and a handy grip for enemies to use. I don't have the looks to use to take advantage of being female, so there's no point in having long hair."

Tenten snorted, then leaned over the edge of the tub, letting her hair flop forwards to show that its length stopped somewhere halfway down her back. "Of course it's a liability if you do something as stupid as just have it loose like you did. I'm not surprised that someone grabbed you by it. Doesn't mean that you shouldn't do something with it so it doesn't look a mess."

Temari nodded. "Nothing wrong with looking presentable. Being nameless, faceless copies of one another is what the men do. Konoha or Suna, they all look the same in those jackets and blacks."

"Plus, think of Neji," said Tenten. "If there ever was someone you could accuse of having 'girly-hair' it's him, but I've never seen him being grabbed by it. No-one gets that close to a Hyuuga without them knowing." She snickered. "He did once get called 'sweetheart' by some old guy before he realised he was a guy, though." She looked over and was relieved that, while Sakura did not laugh, she did at least smile at the idea of Neji being mistaken for being female. And that's at least something. Maybe she'll stop thinking about it all soon.

Temari settled further back in her tub. "See, that's always been the problem. 'Being a ninja is men's work'. That idea seems to've gotten stuck in the system somewhere. Kunoichi have two roles available to them in their minds." She held up a hand with one finger raised. "First, we can be exactly like them. Fight like them, dress like them, act like them. Of course, we'll never be up to their standard, because we'll never be as strong as them, or have as much chakra as them, or we'll do stupid things like get pregnant and want to stop serving on the front lines because of our children. Nor will we ever think like them, all we can do is approximate their testosterone-filled stupidities."

Tenten turned to her curiously. "You've obviously thought a lot about this. What's the second role, then?"

"Secondly," said Temari, raising a second finger. "We can be 'True-Kunoichi'. Be successful in appropriately feminine fields like genjutsu or medical work, or theoretical research. Use the fact that we're female to objectify ourselves into spies or assassins that use sexual favours and their looks to do their jobs. Do all the things that the men don't want to do, and have to put up with their snide comments about our looks while we do it." She shook her head, lowering her hand back into the tub. "Personally, I think both of those ideas suck. My sex shouldn't make a difference to anyone, as long as I do my job."

Tenten turned slightly, noticing that Sakura had now sat up and seemed to be watching Temari curiously.

"But how does that relate to hair, Temari-san?"

Temari sighed. "Okay. You, you're the first type, aren't you? Trying to beat the men at their own game almost. So you're trying to lose all symbols of femininity. Your hair for one. The way you dress for another."

Sakura made a face. "That's not true at all. I wear a dress, after all. Tenten-san doesn't."

"You wear a dress that is unflattering, clashes with your hair and makes you look flat as a board," replied Temari.

Tenten giggled. "That is true, Sakura."

"It is not!" retorted Sakura. "And anyway, you dress like a tomboy, so I've no idea why that gives you the ability to comment."

"I dress how I want to," snapped Tenten in reply. "It's comfortable and it suits me and I like it. What else matters?"

"Exactly," said Temari. "And if the Hyuuga was ever to ask you out on a date, how much work would it take for you to be more feminine? A different hairstyle and some make-up. I bet you wouldn't need to do much about clothes." She ignored Tenten's furious blushing. "Being yourself is a virtue in this job. Men shouldn't get to walk all over you just because you're female, and you shouldn't content yourself with the roles that they decide for you."

"So you're telling me to grow my hair back out, is that it?" asked Sakura angrily.

Temari shook her head. "I'm saying that you should stop and consider what you want. If you want to have a hairstyle that does nothing for the shape of your face and makes you look like a man, that's fine, but it better be what you want and not what you think those around you want." She ducked her head under the water, damping through her hair again, spluttering as she surfaced. "But what would I know? I was only ignored in favour of my brothers by my father, and when one of those is an unstable psychopath, that's quite an insult."

Tenten looked at her, curiously. "So, Gaara is your brother? Or is there another Sand ninja we should worry about?"

Temari sighed. "Yes, Gaara is my brother. Kankuro's too." She levelled a glare at Tenten. "Why? You going to start ranting about how I should apologise again?"

"No… I might not agree with what you did, but I guess it wasn't your fault what he did. Anyway, I thought that Gaara was the son of the Kazekage, so…" Tenten trailed off and looked at Temari.

Temari looked back. "It's not like he really had much time for us after our mother died. Made sure we had the best tutors, but that was about it. There wasn't any other favouritism towards us." She shrugged. "I don't even really miss him now that he's gone. Not as a father, and I always thought his policies rather aggressive towards the other villages." She stood up and got out the tub. "Although what would I have known? I was just a girl."

Sakura's heart lifted when the gates of Konoha finally came into view after another three days on the road. From what she knew of Tenten and Neji, the two of them were equally relieved to be home, in much the same way Temari had been when they split ways at the border. Over the last few days she had thought a lot over what Temari had said, both about the place of women in ninja society and about how to deal with the more distasteful parts of the job. Sakura thought it would be good to visit Sasuke in the hospital again and bring him fresh flowers.

The main reason she wanted to visit was because he would be a friend who would listen without judging her, at least in her mind's eye. Over the previous weeks, it had been a comfort to her that she could say what she felt to him without it colouring his judgement of her. Now, Sakura just wanted to talk some things out-loud, but alone. She said good-bye to Tenten and Neji, after they had reported in that their escort mission was a success, and slowly walked home. Once there, she avoided the anxious questions of her mother and placed her pack in her room before hurrying out to try to catch afternoon visiting hours at the hospital.

Her first stop was at the Yamanaka's flower shop, to buy a fresh white tulip, as she was sure the old one would have wilted whilst she was on a mission. Ino was on duty at the till, but seemed surprised to see her.

"Sakura? Why aren't you at the hospital? And why do you look like something the cat dragged in?"

Sakura blinked, then waved the flower. "I just got back from a mission. I've been away for the last few days, and I wanted to get this to give to Sasuke-kun before I go to visit him." She paused. "Why? What's happened? Is Sasuke-kun worse?"

Ino shook her head. "No, no, nothing like that. Just that I heard from Shikamaru earlier that Naruto's back, and he's brought some female medical ninja with him to try to help. I think they've already gone up to the hospital."

"Naruto? He's back? And he's found Tsunade-sama?" Sakura's face broke out into a grin. He did it! He said he'd find someone to help Sasuke-kun and Kakashi-sensei, and he did! Now we can be a team again, and everything will be okay! She quickly slammed a mix of coins down on the counter. "Here. I'm heading over there right now." She gave a delighted grin at Ino, then hurried out.

Ino grinned at her friend's enthusiasm, then turned to count the coins and blinked. Wow, forehead-girl must be distracted. That's like three times the amount for the flower. She quickly put away the coins. Means I can deliver a bunch of flowers to Sasuke-kun once he's awake, and have Sakura pay for them. She went out into the shop and started picking out the perfect bouquet.

(1) Sakasekai no jutsu - 倒世界の術 Turned about world technique (Or something approximately like that)

Oh, and I've found this great fanart on Deviantart, based on chapter 19, done by Evil-Kirby. Do search for it. I would direct link it, but FFN won't let me for some reason. --;;