A/N, Part I: First off, I should mention that some of the names of locations have been added and changed in the previous chapters, to make them "fit" more into the world of the Caribbean. The island they are on is now called Bimini (see 2nd author's note at the bottom for more on this), and the Cave of Caerbannog is now Cuevo de Covejo (those of you familiar with Spanish should be able to figure out that one easily). I even considered making the Killer Rabbit a Homicidal Hutia, but decided against it. :-P

Captain Teague's assistants, I decided, should also have names. After thinking about this for a while, I thought it would be amusing but appropriate if they were the pirates who first set forth the Code, Morgan and Bartholemew.

And now, read on!

Chapter Five (Three, sir!) Three: Within the Cave

Inside the cave, Jack, Barbossa, Teague, and the others made their way down a long tunnel. This eventually opened out into a spacious cavern; the men were now deep within the extinct volcano that formed Bimini.

The pirates spotted something on one of the cavern walls, and as they walked toward it, they found that it was writing, carved on the wall in some foreign language.

"There!" Barbossa exclaimed. "Look, gents!"

"What's it say?" asked Marty. "What language is it?" Pintel chimed in beside him.

Behind them, Teague turned to Morgan and Bartholemew and brought them forward; "You're our scholars," he said.

The two elderly pirates squinted at the writing before them, until Morgan responded, "It's in the language of the Arawak!"

"Of course," said Barbossa to Teague, "it was Sequene, the Arawak chief, who was first said to go looking for the Fountain!" "Of course!" Jack, not to be outdone, said immediately.

"Well, what's it say?" asked Teague. Still squinting, Morgan began to read: "'Here may be found the last words of Sequene, chief of the Arawak.'" Excitement rippled amongst the pirates as Bartholemew continued: "'He who is valiant, and pure of spirit, may find the Fountain of Youth in the Chamber of...Aaaaaarrrrrrggghhh.'"

Jack frowned. "What?"

Bartholemew repeated: "'The Chamber of...Aaaaaarrrrrrggghhh.'" Morgan shrugged and said, "He must have died while carving it."

"Oh, come on!" Pintel scoffed. "Well, that's what it says!" Bartholemew replied defensively.

"Look, mate," said Jack, rolling his eyes and gesturing broadly with his hands, "if he was dyin', he wouldn't bother to carve 'Aaaaaarrrrrrggghhh,' now would he? He'd just say it, savvy?" "Well that's what's carved in the rock!" Bartholemew responded even more huffily than before.

"Perhaps he was dictatin'," Ragetti suggested. "Oh, shut up," grumbled Barbossa.

"Well does it say anything else?" asked Teague. Bartholemew shook his head. "Just 'Aaaaaarrrrrrggghhh.'"

The pirates frowned amongst themselves. "Aaaaaarrrrrrggghhh," some of them said to themselves, trying to figure it out.

As they continued pondering, Ragetti thought he heard something behind them. He turned his head to see, and then screamed. "Ooooooh!"

"No," Pintel said next to him, not seeing what his friend had. "'Aaaaaarrrrrrggghhh,' at the back of the throat."

"No!" explained Ragetti, quivering. "'Ooooooh!' in surprise and alarm!"

Pintel thought about this for a moment, then realized, "Oh, you mean sort of an, 'Aaaaaahhh!'" "Yes, bu-," Ragetti started to say, before going, "Ooooooh!" again, pointing a trembling finger at what he'd seen.

The rest of the pirates turned to see what he was talking, and gasped in horror. "Oh! My God!"

At the end of the tunnel from which they'd emerged into the cavern, there now stood a huge, unpleasant, but fairly well-rendered, computer-generated monster! It roared at them, rolling its many eyeballs as it did.

Morgan, who had stepped forward to see this new menace properly, now stood rooted in terror, and said, "It's the Legendary Black Beast of Aaaaaarrrrrrggghhh!" This last bit may have been part of the creature's title, or it may have been said because at that moment said creature snagged Morgan and devoured him (incidentally leaving Teague having to hold the Pirate Codex with Bartholemew). The pirates didn't know or care. To them, the remaining strategy was obvious; not even Barbossa could disagree with it this time. "RUN AWAY!"

Try as they might to lose the following monster through the labyrinth of tunnels throughout the cave, their pursuer was not easy to evade. Finally, after running as far and as fast as they could, they could go no further. As the horrendous Black Beast lunged for the kill, escape for the pirates was altogether hopeless. When suddenly, and by an extraordinary coincidence...the entire crew of modelers, animators, renderers, and technical supervisors who were assigned to work on the monster, all suffered fatal heart attacks!

As a result of this incredible stroke of luck, the CG peril was no more; the quest for the Fountain of Youth could continue...

...Or, at least it would, were it not for the fact that the loss of the Black Beast forced the writers to make several drastic revisions. This, along with the multiple lawsuits faced by the production for the inexplicably spontaneous demise of an entire 25 percent of the visual effects department, left the studio and the filmmakers destitute, and the whole project had to be halted indefinitely, to the regret of all.

THE END

(Insert obnoxiously cheerful organ music to fill final 20 minutes)

A/N, Part II: Why end like that? One: Of course I wasn't going to have them actually find the Fountain of Youth. Two: I didn't feel up for doing through the rest of Monty Python and the Holy Grail (I was actually surprised that I decided to go this far with it at all, instead of just having them meet the Killer Rabbit like I'd originally intended).

There's a bit of historical fact included in the story: the first known person to search for the Fountain of Youth was indeed the Arawak chief Sequene, who had believed stories of it being found in the mythical land of Bimini (hence the name of this story's island), which might have actually been the Bahamas. He and his crew never returned from their journey, but some of his tribesmen back at home liked to think that they had found Bimini and were now living there happily.

I'd also just like to say that, whatever the content in this chapter may imply, I have nothing against CGI. In fact, I'm quite interested in pursuing this form of visual effects as a career. ;-)

And finally, one last thank you to all of those who've taken the time to review this story as it was posted. As a rule, I tend to have some idea of where I'm going with a story when I start writing it, but it's always people's reviews, positive or negative (minus flames) that are the most satisfying and encouraging part of writing this sort of stuff.

Now, back to my epic crossover, Captain Jack Sparrow and the Island of the Skull: foresee major rewrites and plot developments ahead. Until next time, thank you all. :D