Cannonball Run 5: Overdrive

by BKelly95

Seven continents, fortytwo teams, two hundred and fifty million dollars in prize money, and one serious threat. This can only mean one thing: the Cannonball Run is back.

8. El Invasion

Cannonball Run 5: Overdrive

Chapter Eight:El Invasion

AN:Just wanted to point out that Mario's and Luigi's weapons come from "Super Mario Brothers 3", Link's come from "The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past" and Sonic's, Knuckles', and Tails' come from "Sonic Adventure 2".
I also wanted to point out several teams will become victims of alien possession. (Think "The Faculty".) The teams I chose as victims were not meant to slight those teams or their creators or fans.
I also wanted to point out I may have gotten the lyrics to "Just Cruisin'" wrong.

Tanner and Everett watched as the Miami police loaded the bombed out wreckage that had once been the Sentinel onto a flatbed truck.

Head crime scene investigator Horatio Caine walked over to where investigator Eric Delko had laid out the pieces of the suitcase. "So, this is what the bomb was in." he said as he put his hands on his hips.

"Looks that way, H." said Delko. "Really expensive model, too."

"High end car, high end suitcase." said Horatio. "Looks like someone is trying to send us a message."

"There goes our transportation." said Tanner.

"How are we supposed to get back to DeMarco?" asked Everett.

"We're gonna use the oldest form of transportation known to man." said Tanner. "We walk."

Tanner and Everett started walking. Tanner pulled out his phone and dialled.

"Hello?" asked Mitzi on the other end.

"Mitzi? It's Tanner. Just wanted to touch base with you. What are you up to?"

"We decided to outsource the attack on the Cannonballers this time." said Mitzi. "We've called in a friend of ours. By the way, how did the prize money heist go?"

"Uh, we'll get back to you on that." said Tanner. "So, tell me about this friend of yours."

"She made a visit to a town in the area of the United States you call Ohio." said Mitzi. "She tried to launch an attack to take over the planet, but failed due to the resistance of the students at the local high school. She has special tools to assist in this area."

"Great." said Tanner. "When does she go into action?"

"She already has." said Mitzi.

XXXXXXXXXX

In Panama, a gas station attendant sat in his office when the Fripon X pulled in. Malcolm jumped out of the car, ran over to the window, and started pounding on it. "Gimme the keys! I gotta go to the bathroom!" he yelled.

The attendant handed him the keys and he ran off to the restrooms.

"It's good to know that 'bathroom' is understood around the world." he said.

Francis gassed up the Fripon X while Reese walked off behind the station. He was looking around for something when a young, blonde woman walked up.

"Hi." she said in a southern American accent. "Aren't you one of those Cannonballers?"

"Yeah." said Reese. "Yeah, I am."

"I knew it." said the girl. "I've been following you on television. Marybeth Louise Hutchinson."

"My name's Reese..." said Reese before Marybeth put her hand over his mouth.

"That's a nice name." said Marybeth. "Reese, like the actress. I've got something I'd like to give you."

In the restroom, Malcolm was using the urinal and singing. "You're not the boss of me now! You're not the boss of me now! You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big!"

He finished his business and zipped up his pants. Suddenly, he felt like he was being watched. He looked towards the exit and saw nothing. He shrugged, flushed, and looked the other way. This time, he saw Reese looking at him ominously.

"Oh, you scared me." Malcolm gasped. "Of course, you always scare me."

Reese grabbed Malcolm by the back of the head and forced him face-first into the urinal next to the one he'd used. With Malcolm's face in the the urinal, Reese hit the flush handle. Malcolm fought for a few seconds before breaking free.

He wiped the urinal water from his face and yelled "Reese, what the hell was that for?"

"I've always wanted to do that." said Reese coldly.

"What are you talking about? You do that to me all the time!" yelled Malcolm. "Reese, what is wrong with you? You're acting violently, you're offering weak excuses, you've got an emotionless stare...OH MY GOD! YOU'RE A POD PERSON!"

Malcolm ran out of the restroom and over to Francis.

"Francis! Francis!" yelled Malcolm almost out of breath.

"What's going on?" asked Francis.

"You have to help me." said Malcolm. "Reese has become some kind of alien zombie or something."

"Don't worry." said Francis. "Everything's going to be fine."

"You think?" asked Malcolm.

"Of course." said Francis. He then grabbed Malcolm behind the head and rammed him head-first into the Fripon X's c-pillar, knocking him out.

Reese walked out of the restroom and found one of his brothers lying on the ground unconcious and the other standing over him.

"I've always wanted to do that." said Francis.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Guys, this constant car loss is really getting to me." said DeMarco.

"Sorry, chief." said Korpi. "If it helps, we've found a way to reduce our automotive dependance."

"What Korpi is saying is that we managed to procure another vehicle to use." said Darden. "And this one is going to last."

"You think so?" asked DeMarco.

"Sure." said Korpi. "Check it out."

He used the camera on his phone to take a picture of a large flatbed truck.

"We decided we had better plans to make than to come up with a name," said Darden "so we just called it the Flatbed."

"We're using it as a weapons platform for the EDB." said Paul.

"Good idea." said DeMarco. "You have your other vehicles. Pass them out as you see fit."

DeMarco ended his call.

"Okay, Darden and I get the Savanna." said Korpi, pointing to a red '64 Impala with orange pinstripes.

"Joe and Max, you get the Tornado." said Darden as he pointed to a black '58 Impala with orange flames.

"And Johnny and Lance, you get the Stratum." said Korpi as he pointed to a Honda Accord Wagon street racer. The paint job faded from black to red as it went back with red arrows along the sides.

"Okay, let's move." said Darden.

XXXXXXXXXX

The race officials set up at the finish line. They were set up in a decent-sized building next to a canyon. This canyon was so large and prominent, it had its own name: The Grand Canyon.

The Counting Crows' Adam Duritz leaned on a railing on the edge of the canyon and sang "And it's one more day up in the canyon."

"That's a nice view." said Kevin Griffin.

"Yeah, I gotta come back here someday." said Beck.

In the Visitor's Lodge, Big Schwag and Frankie Whiteside were getting ready to report. That's when the cameras went live.

"We've been here only ten hours and already we're going to make a report." said Schwag. "I wonder if we're going to cover Nash's wreck. Oh wait, we're on? Okay. Hello, Cannonball fans. Big Schwag here. Welcome to the finish line for the race, the Grand Canyon. With me right now is my faithful companion, Frankie Whiteside."

"Thanks, Schwag." said Frankie. "We've heard that many of the racers have entered South America right now. They are now officially halfway through the race. At this moment, we have an in-car interview with one team. Let's have that now."

The big screen television next to them came on, showing a teenage boy with braces looking into the camera as the "Star Wars" theme played in the background. The kid then jumped away from the camera with a broom handle and acted out a lightsaber duel.

"Uh, we seem to be experiencing technical difficulties." said Schwag. "In the meantime, we have a little music for you. Right, Frankie?"

"Absolutely, Schwag." said Frankie as he stared at the video. "This kid's got moves."

Brad Turner took to the stage with Blues Traveler.

"Okay, I'd like to dedicate this performance to my friends who are in the race." said Brad. "Good luck, Matt, Bruce, and Gloria."

"Enough talk! Let's jam!" said John Popper.

Brendan Hill launched into a drum roll. Chan and Tad got on their guitars. Shortly afterward, Brad started to sing.

I'm wearin'
fur pajamas.
I ride ahot potata.
It's tickling my fancy.
Speak up. I can't hear you.

Here on this mountaintop.
Awaho.
I got some wild, wild life.

I got some new to tell you.
Wahoh.
About some wild, wild life.

Here comes the doctor in charge.
Awaho.
She's got some wild, wild life.

Ain't that the way you like it?
Ho, oh!
Living wild, wild life.

John took over vocals.

I wrestle,
with your conscience.
You wrestle,
with your partner.
Sitting on a window sill,
he spends time behind closed doors.

Check out Mr. Businessman.
Awaho.
He bought some wild, wild life.

On the way to the stock exchange.
Awaho.
He got some wild, wild life.

Break it up when he opens the door.
Awaho.
He's doin' wild, wild life.

I know that's the way you like it.
Whoa oh!
Living wild, wild life.

Peace of mind?
It's a piece of cake.
Thought control?
You get on board anytime you like.

The guys played through the bridge, then Brad returned to vocals.

Like sitting on pins and needles.
Things fall apart.
It's scientific.

Sleeping on the interstate.
Awaho.
Getting wild, wild life.

Checkin' in, checkin' out.
Awaho.
I got a wild, wild life.

Spending all of my money and time.
Awaho.
Done too much wild, wild life.

We wanna go, where we go, where we go.
Awaho.
I doing wild, wild life.

I know it, that's how we start.
Awaho.
Got some wild, wild life.

Take a picture, here in the daylight.
Wa ho.
And it's a wild, wild life.

You've grown so tall, you've grown so fast.
Awaho.
Wild, wild life.

I know that's the way you like it.
Oh oh!
Living wild, wild, wild, wild life.

-"Wild Wild Life" by the Talking Heads

"Thanks, guys." said Frankie. "We've got more coming up."

"Once we return, we'll have that interview...I hope." said Schwag.

XXXXXXXXXX

A foghorn sounded as the taxi dropped off Chloe at the Special Investigations Unit headquarters. "Thanks." she said as she paid the driver.

She entered the floating headquarters and found several uniformed and plainclothes officers milling about. She looked around for a familiar face.

"First it was a barge, then a cannery, then a disco." said a man wearing a plaid shirt, brown vest, red beret, and black armband with the Grateful Dead logo on it. "Right now, it serves as the headquarters of the Special Investigations Unit. Harvey Leek, SFPD. You must be Chloe."

"I'm sorry Inspector Bridges didn't complete the race." said Chloe as she shook his hand.

"Oh, this is my partner, Antwon Babcock." said Harvey as he motioned to a large black man.

"Welcome to the SIU." said Antwon. "We've set up your station at my desk. Your mechanic friends are already there."

"Thanks." said Chloe.

Antwon led her to his desk. Dex, Jesse, and Wildcat were already there.

Wildcat was working on maintenance logs. "'Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 foot per minute descent.'" he read. He started writing. "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

"Well, I see you guys got in nicely." said Chloe.

"I guess." said Jesse. "Hey, did we have to set up here? I'm kinda nervous being around all these cops."

"Hey, we got bigger fish to fry at the moment." said Antwon. "We could care less about your street racing history right now."

"Any word on when Nash and his team will be showing up?" asked Dex.

"They should be here any minute now." said Chloe.

Just then, Nash, Joe, and Monk walked in the doorway.

"I still don't see the point of smashing the last light on the car!" yelled Joe.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" yelled Monk. "Because NOW, they're EVEN!"

"You know, this stupid obsessive-compulsive disorder of yours is really getting on my nerves!" yelled Joe. "If we are to work together in the future, you should really get that taken care of!"

"I've tried!" yelled Monk. "I've discovered that if I try to take care of it, I lose my edge. As for working with you in the future, I DON'T CARE! I found you to be very closed-minded about my OCD and I wash my hands of this entire incident!"

"Yeah, repeatedly from the looks of it!" yelled Joe.

"Hey!" yelled Nash. "The next guy who opens his mouth is going over that railing!"

Joe and Monk shut up immediately. Nash walked over to Antwon's desk.

"Hey, Nashman." said Antwon. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, 'twon." said Nash. "Luckily, I was wearingmy seat belt."

"What's with Joe and Mr. Monk?" asked Harvey.

"They were at that all the way from Johnston Island." said Nash. "So, Chloe. Are you set up yet?"

"All set up." said Chloe. "I just hope we're not going to be needed just yet."

"Our enemies won't sleep that easily." said Nash.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Jersey XS raced into Colombia and switched off the Hyperthruster.

"Checking the clock, I'd say we're about where we'd be if we hadn't taken Fowl's offer." said Sydney.

"That's good, because the Hyperthruster is almost burned out." said Perfect Tommy while driving.

Just then, the phone rang to the tune of Buckaroo's team march. "I got it." said Buckaroo as he answered. "Banzai."

"Hello! Buckaroo Banzai?" said a voice with a Jamaican accent.

"John Parker, you old so-and-so." said Buckaroo. "How are you doing?"

"I wish I could say this was a social call, but I'm afraid there is a big problem." said John Parker. "Another enemy of ours has been called to Earth to meddle with the Cannonball Run."

"Well, as luck would have it, we are taking part in the Cannonball Run right now." said Buckaroo.

"Yes, I know." said John Parker. "I am watching the race right now. I still can't believe that bridge collapse."

"So, what's the deal with this enemy?" asked Buckaroo.

"Her race attempted to take over Planet 10, but failed." said John Parker. "She also attempted to take over your planet and failed as well. Now, she has returned by personal request of old aquaintances and your planet is once again in danger. And this time, she is targeting Cannonballers."

"Thanks for the warning." said Buckaroo. "When can we expect you?"

"I'm sorry, but I am not close enough to render direct assistance." said John Parker. "I'm afraid all I can do is this."

"What's that?" asked Buckaroo. A second later, a bolt of electricity shot from the phone's earpiece to his ear.

"Whoa!" said Perfect Tommy.

"Buckaroo?" asked Sydney. "You alright?"

"Yeah." said a rather dazed Buckaroo. "Fine."

XXXXXXXXXX

The L.A. Cop Car pulled into a gas station in Colombia.

"How's your vision?" asked Regis as he climbed out.

"Back to normal." said Marcus. "I'll take over now. You fill the tank."

"Got it." said Regis.

Marcus went into the gas station while Regis inserted a gas pump's nozzle in the Cop Car's fuel hatch. After selecting his fuel grade, Regis started pumping. While this was going on, Regis looked down the road and came face-to-face with a mysterious man and yelped.

The man was dressed all in black: black military fatigues, black combat boots, black full-face mask with black goggles, black gloves, and two black sheaths on his back that held katanas.

The man took out a picture of the EDB and showed it to Regis. "Why are you showing me a picture of this thing?" asked Regis. "Wait, that's the thing they used to knock out our car."

After hearing that, the man in black ran to the road as a tractor-trailer drove by. He jumped onto the side of the truck and sped away.

Marcus walked out of the gas station and over to Regis. "Who the hell was that?" he asked.

"I dunno." said Regis. "Darth Vader's twin?"

"You're overfilling the tank." said Marcus.

Regis grunted and stopped filling the overfilling tank.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Hello, Cannonball fans." said Big Schwag. "We're back and we have some more coverage for you."

"And this time, we've got that in-car interview we promised." said Frankie. "Coming to us from somewhere in Colombia, here are Jesse Richmond and Chester Greenburg."

The big screen television switched on again. However, nothing at all was seen on it.

"What's going on?" asked Brock.

"I checked with the techinicians." said Mr. X. "There's nothing wrong with the connection. They're just not answering."

"Well, why the hell not?" asked Brock.

"They have their reasons." said Mr. X. "Something tells me we should try to find out."

"Okay, we'll investigate." said Brock. "Is the Mystery, Inc. team anywhere in the area?"

"Yes, they are." said Mr. X.

"Good, call them." said Brock.

"Doing it." said Mr. X.

"Okay." said Schwag as he listened to Brock's message. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to try to find the missing Jesse and Chester with the help of one of the teams."

"Basicly, here's what they're going to do." said Frankie.

XXXXXXXXXX

In Kentucky, Wario and his team watched the coverage.

Onscreen, Frankie explained. "The race officials are going to try to find the missing team's car using GPS technology. They will then send a group of detectives to the location to try to determine what happened."

"Ha, those losers are good as out." said Wario.

"Uh, Wario." said Waluigi. "What if they start to wonder where we are and launch a similar search?"

"Relax." said Wario. "We've got the GPS programmed so that when they try to find us, they'll pick up another racer's signal."

"Right now, we have an interview with an expert in the field of investigation." said Schwag. "Unfortunately, he's also the first participant in the Cannonball Run Worldwide to not finish the race. Please welcome San Francisco police inspector Nash Bridges."

"Uh oh." said Wario.

"What's wrong?" asked Waluigi.

"That's the racer whose GPS signal we were diverting to." said Wario. "I have to reprogram the thing to pick up someone else's signal." He got up and ran outside. "Bowser, we have work to do."

"But I just put cookies in the oven!" yelled Bowser.

Wario did his charge attack on Bowser and knocked him onto the floor.

"Ow!" yelled Bowser. "Okay, I'm coming!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"There's the Stadt." said Freddie as the ice cream truck drove to the area where the Stadt's GPS locator indicated.

"The Fripon X is here as well." said Daphne.

The truck parked and the team got out.

"Jinkies, the cars are empty." said Velma.

"Like, where could they be?" asked Shaggy.

"Looks like they got out of the car and headed off into the woods." said Freddie.

"Wait, who's there?" asked Daphne.

"Just relax." said Hsu Tanaka. Chan and Sushi X were with him. "We're only here to observe."

"Observe what?" asked Velma.

"We're doing research for our game." said Chan.

"This is kind of interesting." said Sushi X. "For once, I'm getting to see a game in development instead of not seeing the work until it is finished."

"Okay, just stay out of our way." said Freddie.

"Hey, guys!" said Shaggy. "Scoob's found something!"

"Ruh huh!" said Scooby. "Round a rent!"

"Round a what?" asked Hsu.

"He's found a scent." said Velma. "Good work, Scooby."

"Ro roblem." said Scooby.

Within minutes, Scooby was tracking Jesse's and Chester's scent. Both the Mystery, Inc. and EGM teams were following.

"Are we getting closer?" asked Chan.

"Definitely." said Daphne. "I just hope we find them soon. There's a river up ahead. We'll lose the scent there."

Shouting was heard up ahead.

"I think that's them." said Sushi X.

The two teams ran towards the shouting. Before they got there, the shouting suddenly stopped.

"Hey, what happened to the shouting?" asked Shaggy.

"Rere rey are!" said Scooby.

Jesse, Chester, Malcolm, and his brothers were at the river.

"Oh, hello." said Jesse.

"Nice of you to join us." said Malcolm.

"What's going on here?" asked Freddie. "We heard shouting."

"Oh, that was me." said Chester. "I thought I saw a lion."

"There aren't any lions in South America." said Hsu.

"I said 'I THOUGHT'." said Chester.

"Why didn't you answer the video phone when the race officials called?" asked Daphne.

"We were out taking a leak." said Jesse. "That's all."

"Are you guys okay?" asked Velma.

"As far as I can tell, they are." said Marybeth as she stepped out of the shadows.

"Who are you?" asked Chan.

"Someone these brothers picked up." said Marybeth. "I thought it would be fun to be in the Cannonball for a while."

"Something's not right here." said Freddie.

"Ruh uh." said Scooby.

"Come." said Marybeth. "Let me explain my situation to you in private."

"It's a setup!" said Hsu.

"How do you know?" asked Shaggy.

"Because we used this same plot point in one of our games." said Chan.

"Not one of their better efforts." said Sushi X. "'Spy Hunter 2' was actually more playable."

"Get them." said Marybeth.

Malcolm and his brothers approached the Tanaka Brothers, Sushi X, and Mystery Inc. members. Shaggy and Scooby Doo took a defensive position. In other words, Scooby had jumped into Shaggy's arms.

"Prepare to fight!" said Daphne as she took a defensive position herself.

Sushi X reached into the back of his belt and pulled out a three-pronged dart. He then tossed it and hit Francis in the face. Sushi X then grabbed the line the dart was connected to and swung the dart towards Malcolm.

"I didn't know he was carrying that dart." said Hsu.

"Wait, that's not a dart." said Chan. "It's a Nintendo 64 controller."

"Oh, he should have used an XBox controller." said Hsu. "Those things pack a wallop."

"Don't remind me!" said Chan.

After Malcolm was knocked down, Reese approached Sushi X. Sushi X started waving his hands in front of Reese's face and eventually dazed him, then punched him in the face. Sushi then turned to his teammates.

"Finish him!" said Hsu and Chan.

Sushi X grabbed Reese's pockets and yanked his pants down. "Now, let's get out of here." he said.

"Zoinks! Let's listen to him!" said Shaggy.

On the road, the Torrida drove up to the parked cars. The other two teams came running out of the forest.

"This must be the place." said Buffy.

"What's going on?" asked Willow.

"Get back in the car and run for your lives!" yelled Hsu.

"An alien creature is using parasites to control the Cannonballers' minds!" yelled Chan. "Very unoriginal! Boo!"

While the Mystery Inc. and EGM teams returned to their cars and drove off, Buffy and her friends went to see what the deal was. They found Marybeth and the two teams.

"Well, looks like someone has guts." said Marybeth.

"YOU'RE the latest those idiots called in?" asked Buffy.

"You must be that Buffy girl they talked about." said Marybeth. "My name is Marybeth Louise Hutchinson."

"Your name is Marybeth?" asked Buffy. "Oh, that's a name that's gonna strike fear in the hearts of your enemies."

"You should be one to talk, Buffy!" said Marybeth. "If what I hear is true, I could use someone like you on our team."

"You know, I'd like to help you take over the world," said Buffy "but I'm washing my hair."

"Who said 'no' was an option?" asked Marybeth. She turned her arm into a tentacle and threw a worm-thing at Buffy. Buffy caught it in mid-air.

"This is your weapon?" said Buffy. "Bait? OW!" The worm-thing bit her and she dropped it.

"Aw, did my baby bite you?" asked Marybeth.

"Your baby?" asked Buffy. "I think you need a book on child rearing."

Marybeth threw another worm at Buffy. This one missed by a mile.

"That wasn't even close." said Buffy.

"Was it?" asked Marybeth.

Buffy turned around worried. She saw Xander trying to keep the worm-thing from crawling into his ear.

"Come on!" said Xander as he tried to grab the worm-thing. "Garden slug out of the ear!" Unfortunately, he failed. He doubled over in pain, then looked up with a villainous look on his face.

"Xander." gasped Buffy. She didn't notice Marybeth sneaking up behind her until she was grabbed.

"Like I said." said Marybeth as she produced another worm-thing. "I'm not taking 'no' as an option."

She dropped the parasite into Buffy's ear and let it go to work. She then noticed Willow watching in absolute shock.

"Get her." said Marybeth.

Willow ran for it with Malcolm, Reese, and Francis right behind her.

Marybeth walked back to the cars with Jesse and Chester. They found that the cars had been joined by the Modo Prego and Lusso XT with the Jersey XS coming in right behind them.

"How are you guys doing?" asked J.

"Much better, thank you." said Louis. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Something was setting off something in the car." said Mulder. "I asked what it was and they threatened to neuralize me. What about you?"

"PKE Meter went berserk." said Winston. "It started giving us readings we'd never seen before."

"We're trying to see what it was." said Peter.

The Jersey XS came to a stop. Perfect Tommy and Sydney climbed out. Buckaroo was next, but he was looking a little wired.

"Hey, need a hand?" asked Peter. He took Buckaroo's arm and received a nasty shock. "OW! AH! Oh, God! That smarts! OH! AH!" he screamed as he hopped around. Finally, he put his hand into his mouth.

"Peter, are you okay?" asked Winston.

"Break the nitrous line again!" yelled Peter.

Mulder walked over to help. K went over Buckaroo with a scanner.

"Mulder, don't touch him." said K. "He's been hit with a Lectroid Ionizer."

"What does that mean?" asked Mulder.

"I really have no idea what it means." said K.

Marybeth walked over with Jesse and Chester.

"Well, who do we have here?" asked Marybeth.

"Hey, guys." said Louis. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Marybeth." said Jesse. "She's going to be travelling with us for a while. Cool, huh?"

"K, the scanner is giving us an alert." said J.

"I can see that." said K. "There's more to this girl than meets the eye."

"So, uh, where you from?" asked J.

"Georgia." said Marybeth.

"Peter, the PKE Meter is giving us those readings again." said Winston.

"Yeah, and they get stronger when pointed at her." said Peter.

"I think there's something odd about this girl." said Perfect Tommy. "What do you think, Buckaroo?"

"Stay away from that woman." said Buckaroo while staring intensely.

"Why? What's wrong?" asked Sydney.

"Don't you see?" asked Buckaroo.

"See what?" asked Perfect Tommy.

"There!" yelled Buckaroo as he pointed at Marybeth. "EVIL, PURE AND SIMPLE, FROM ANOTHER PLANET!"

While everyone else saw Marybeth as a young woman with blonde hair and a nice body, Buckaroo saw her as she really was: a hideous amphibious alien creature with dozens of tentacles.

"Run." said Chester.

"I thought taking over that biker was a problem." said Marybeth.

Jesse and Chester ran for the Stadt. Marybeth produced another parasite and threw it at Buckaroo. The parasite connected, but was shocked and repelled by the ionization. Now, Marybeth ran to the Stadt and joined Jesse and Chester. They drove off a second later.

J looked at the dead parasite on the Lusso XT's windshield. "Whoa." he said. "Now, I've had some nasty bugs on my windshield before, but this one, whoa!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Malcolm and his brothers continued to chase Willow into some ruins. She tripped and slowed down to catch herself.

"Time to stop running." said Malcolm.

"Relax, it won't hurt much." said Reese.

Willow raised her hands towards them and called "Knup ykcul leef uoy od!" The resulting sonic burst sent them flying.

She ran into the ruins and started looking for a place to hide and rest. She ended up leaning against a rock wall. She sat there for a few seconds, catching her breath, then looked up to find Buffy looking at her.

"You've caused us a lot of trouble, Willow." said Buffy calmly, but emotionlessly.

"Join us." said Xander as he walked over. "There's no pain. No fear. No sadness."

"What about the opposite?" asked Willow.

"You won't miss it." said Buffy as she approached Willow.

"You can't go on like this forever." said Xander as he and Buffy cornered Willow against the wall.

Willow looked at her two friends approaching her. A couple of pebbles fell onto her shoulder. She looked up at where they came from to see the man in black standing on top of the wall. He reached down to her. She reached up and he pulled her to the top of the wall.

Buffy and Xander climbed the wall to follow them, but when they got up there, both Willow and the man in black had vanished.

"Looks like this will continue later." said Buffy.

XXXXXXXXXX

In San Francisco, Nash and Chloe were watching Chloe's monitor. Buckaroo, Peter, and J were seen on it, but the picture was barely holding together.

"Inspector Bridges, can you read us?" asked Peter.

"I can, but I'm getting a lot of static." said Nash.

"That's probably me." said Buckaroo. "I've been ionized, but...but I'm okay now."

"What the hell is going on?" asked Nash.

"Well, you see," said Peter "there's this alien. She looks like a young human female, but she's not. She has these little parasitic creatures that can take control of a human host."

"Let me continue." said J. "This chick tried to take over the world a few years ago, starting with the small town of Herrington, Ohio. She took over a good portion of the town's populance before she was defeated."

"Whoa, she was defeated?" asked Nash. "How was she defeated?"

"One of the local high school students, Zeke Tyler, turned out to be the maker and distributor of a designer drug called 'Skat'." said J. "Another student, Casey Connor, hit the alien with this 'Skat' and ended up killing the alien."

"Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!" said Chloe. "If this Casey Connor killed the alien, how is it here now?"

"Someone, we don't know who," said J "recovered the alien's dehydrated remains and re-hydrated them."

"Instant enemy, just add water." said Buckaroo.

"Chloe, do a search for Zeke Tyler." said Nash. "How did this affect the hosts of the parasites?"

"They all were freed from the alien's control." said J. "The parasites apparently died when the 'queen bee' did."

"From the looks of things, this queen bee has to start over from scratch." said Peter. "Oh, before I forget. This alien puts out a signal that shows up on our PKE Meter. Therefore, we might be able to track it."

"I theorize this is the signal it uses to control the hosts of the parasites." said Buckaroo.

"One last thing." said J. "These hosts become extremely dependant on water when they get taken over. They were getting refreshment in a river when we found them."

"That just might help us find them." said Nash. "Good luck, you guys."

"Thanks, Nashman." said Peter. "We've decided to mix up the teams a little to come up with a plan better."

The monitor shut off.

"Any luck?" asked Nash.

"I found Zeke Tyler." said Chloe. "After college, he moved back to Herrington and lives at home. His address is..."

She was cut off when strobe lights started flashing, smoke started to pour from the walls, and "Disco Inferno" started playing over the P.A. system.

Antwon covered his eyes. Harvey started looking around amused.

Dex and Wildcat looked around in confusion while Jesse did a disco dance.

Many of the police officers started dancing as well. Monk glanced around at them nervously, then started dancing himself, only slower.

A minute after it started, it stopped just as suddenly.

"'Twon, it's over." said Harvey. "You can open your eyes now."

"So, you were saying?" asked Nash.

"What the hell was that?" asked Chloe.

"Oh, I can explain that." said Harvey. "Remember I said this used to be a nightclub? Well apparently, there's still a song or two left in the sound system. This 'phantom disco' comes on occasionally. We're still trying to figure out why."

"Oh." said Chloe. "And what's the deal with Antwon?"

"Antwon's an epileptic." said Harvey. "If he sees flashing lights, it could set off a seizure."

"Oh, I get it." said Chloe.

"Okay, I got the address." said Nash as he looked at Chloe's screen. "Come on, Joe. We got work to do."

XXXXXXXXXX

Somewhere in eastern Colombia, Cary Ford sat upon the Monsoni while filling the gas tank. That's when Jaleel the Kid rode up to him.

"Hey, Ford." said Kid. "I missed you while crossing the ocean."

"Oh yeah?" asked Cary. "What did you try to throw at me?"

"Funny." said Kid.

"So, what do you say?" asked Cary. "Last one to Tierra Del Fuego buys dinner for the victor?"

"If you think you need to display your skills that way." said Kid. "It's simple really. Humans seek to prove themselves in various fields through contest. Yours and mine is motorcycle racing."

"Man, when'd you get all philosophical on us?" asked Cary.

"Do you want to race or not?" asked Kid.

"Okay." said Cary.

The two started their motorcycles. They raced off a second later. Cary couldn't help but take a few glances at Kid. Something was not right with him. While Kid wasn't looking, Cary turned away and took off across a field.

"Not nice." said Kid as he turned to follow him.

Cary steered the Monsoni towards a railway with a passenger train on it. "What is going on here?" he asked himself.

He started to ride alongside the train for a few seconds, then hit a rock outcropping. He jumped the Monsoni onto the back of the train, corrected his landing, then rode towards the front.

Kid tried to follow him off the rock, but ended up crashing through the back of the rearmost car. While Cary rode down the back, Kid rode through the train.

Cary then noticed a tunnel up ahead and realized he would not make it onto the ground before reaching the tunnel. He then jumped the Monsoni off the train and landed on the hillside.

Kid rode through the train and finally came out of the front. He then realized Cary had not gone that way and brought the Cohete to a stop.

"I gotta report this." said Cary.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Alien invasion?" asked Schwag. "You gotta be kidding me."

"I kinda wish they were." said Frankie. "Although I do have to admit this is sort of cool."

"It's always better to watch the invasion than to be right in the middle of it." said Phil.

"Yeah, he's right." said David. "I absolutely enjoyed this little takeover...back when it was called 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers'."

"So, what are we doing until we can stop this invasion?" asked Nessa.

"I'll tell you." said Brock. "I've got a statement to read which will detail our plans to handle the invasion for the time being."

"Go ahead." said Schwag.

"Cannonballers, give me your attention." said Brock. "News has been delivered to me that a race of aliens is attempting to conquer the planet. For some reason, they are starting with the Cannonballers by taking over their minds and bodies. For the time being, I want you to quickly determine who's taken over and who isn't and travel in packs for protection. Also, we've received word that several South American countries have been informed of the situation and are restricting foreign travel in an effort to stem the tide. As a result, you may be forced to remain in the continent until the crisis is averted. In the meantime, be careful and watch yourselves."

"Good speech." said Mr. X.

"Thanks." said Brock.

"Unfortunately, no one's gonna buy a word of that." said Mr. X.

"Thanks." said Brock sarcasticly.

"Brock, may I make a suggestion?" asked Frankie.

"Go ahead." said Brock.

"Frankie and I were talking." said Schwag. "This situation has come up in who knows how many bad sci-fi movies."

"And?" asked Brock.

"Who watches more bad sci-fi movies than anyone?" asked Frankie.

"I'll get them on the horn." said Brock.

XXXXXXXXXX

In the Emu, which had just crossed into Peru...

"Battery seems to be showing no ill effects." said Mike.

"Good, 'cause Gilligan and his fellow castaways won't be able to help us if it conks out again." said Tom.

"What if they get off the island?" asked Gypsy.

"Gypsy, let me explain something to you." said Crow.

Suddenly, lights on the dashboard started to flash wildly.

"AH! We've got movie sign!" yelled Tom.

"No, it's the race officials." said Mike. He hit the switch.

A small viewscreen flipped up displaying Brock.

"Mr. Nelson, we need your help." he said.

"Dah, okay." said Mike.

"Here's the situation." said Brock. "There's an alien being who's trying to take over the minds and bodies of the Cannonballers. Frankie points out that you guys have probably seen this in a million movies."

"Um...yeah, that's about right." said Crow.

"Okay, say no more." said Mike. "Odds are good that your main target should be the head alien. Once you defeat him, his minions should return to normal."

"Thank you." said Brock. "Now, can you give me some advice we don't already know? We got all that when they were talking about how the alien was defeated the first time."

"Wait, the alien's already been defeated and is making a return?" asked Mike.

"Yeah, what the hell?" asked Gypsy.

"Well, it's complicated." said Brock. "According to the others, the alien's remains were recovered and mixed with water to revive her."

"Well, I can see how...huh?" said Tom.

"Look, Mr. Yates." said Mike. "When we're watching these movies, we're usually not taking notes on how to survive and stop an alien invasion. Usually, we're thinking about how to just get through the showing of the film."

"I'm usually thinking of pants." said Tom.

"I'm thinking of toast." said Crow.

"I'm thinking of Richard Baseheart." said Gypsy.

"Sorry, we can't help you." said Mike. "Thanks for the warning."

"Well, that was a wash." said Brock.

XXXXXXXXXX

Somewhere else, two army tanks were parked in a clearing. Three military men were working around them.

"Not too much longer and I can serve my latest creation: C-ration casserole." said one, a very muscular black man cooking in a pot.

"I think I'll pass." said another, a muscular man with a Marine Corps tattoo on his chest and a Cajun accent. "I'm saving up for some nice homemade gumbo."

"You guys can eat later." said the third, another black man of well build and average height. He was wearing a beret. "For now, we've got a weapon to recover."

They heard a rustling in the trees and grabbed their weapons. A second later, Willow and the man in black came out.

"Whoa, look what Snakes brought in." said thechef.

"At ease." said the man with the beret. "Welcome, civilian. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I guess." said Willow. "Who are you guys?"

"Forgive my manners." said the man with the beret. "We're members of an elite U.S. military anti-terrorist group, code name: G.I. Joe. I'm Sergeant Lonzo Wilkinson, code name: Stalker." He pointed to the guy with the Marine Corps tattoo on his chest. "This is U.S. Marine Corps Sergeant Ettienne LaFitte, code name: Gung Ho." He then pointed to the chef and said "This is Sergeant Marvin Hinton, code name: Roadblock." He then pointed to the man in black and said "And you know Snake Eyes."

"Welcome to our camp, mon cha." said Gung Ho.

"Do you realize the toughest man in the Corps just called you 'my dear'?" laughed Roadblock.

"What are you doing here?" asked Willow.

"Almost a week ago, an experimental weapon was stolen in the Pacific Northwest." said Stalker. "It was called the Electronic Disruption Beam. It's designed to completely disrupt the electricity in a car battery and bring the vehicle to a halt. The transport truck that was carrying it was found destroyed and empty after being stolen earlier. Luckily, the GPS locator installed in it still works. Unluckily, it's refusing to give us a straight answer. We know it's in the area, we just don't know where."

"What does this thing look like?" asked Willow.

"Snake Eyes, you still have that picture?" asked Stalker.

Snake Eyes took out the picture and showed it to Willow.

"That's it!" she said. "That's what those guys used to disable our car in Australia!"

"You're sure about that?" asked Stalker.

"I'm positive." she said.

"Thanks." said Stalker. "I'm going to report this to Hawk. The rest of you guys, prepare to move out. Gung Ho and Roadblock, you've got the Neutralizer. Snake Eyes, you're joining me in the Quickstrike."

"Wait, there's something else." said Willow.

"What's that?" asked Stalker.

"There's an alien invasion going on." said Willow. "They're using parasitic creatures to control people's minds. They've already taken over two of my friends. There could be more."

"Oh boy, this could be worse than anything Cobra's thrown at us." said Roadblock.

XXXXXXXXXX

In Herrington, Ohio, a taxi delivered Nash and Joe to a house.

"Thanks for the lift, bubba." said Nash.

"Hey, you just give those aliens one on behalf of the entire town!" said the cabbie.

"Alright." said Joe as he and Nash got out of the taxi. "So, this is where Zeke Tyler lives."

"Yeah, if anyone can help us take care of those aliens, it's him." said Nash.

Nash and Joe walked towards the house.

"Hey, Nash." said Joe. "You think these aliens are those Sarabithians that Betty Ann McCurry was talking about?"

"The less we talk about that, the better." said Nash as he reached the door.

Nash knocked on the door while Joe looked at a car under a tarp.

"What do you think is under the tarp?" asked Joe.

"I dunno." said Nash. "Maybe we'll ask him."

A young, thin man with black hair came to the door. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Zeke Tyler?" asked Nash. "You know anything about an alien invasion?"

"Ah shit, not again." groaned Zeke.

"Come on, we have to go to San Francisco." said Joe.

"Why should I?" asked Zeke.

"Because if those aliens take over the Cannonballers, we're gonna give them your address, bubba." said Nash.

"Alright, I'll come." said Zeke.

"We've got a taxi waiting." said Nash.

Zeke walked to the taxi. Joe looked at the car under the tarp again.

"Wanna take a look?" asked Nash.

"Can I?" asked Joe.

"Go ahead." said Nash.

Joe lifted the tarp and looked at the car underneath. "Whoa, is that what I think it is?" he said.

"That looks like a big ol' bargaining chip." said Nash.

"We're taking this back to San Fran, aren't we?" asked Joe.

"That's what I like about you, Joe." said Nash. "You always know what I'm planning."

XXXXXXXXXX

The Crown Mail was parked somewhere in Brazil.

"Why are we here again?" asked Butler.

"Since the enemy is turning the other racers into mind-controlled zombies," said Artemis "we are going to create our own. We are going to do so with an incantation taught to me by Holly Short."

"We're going to turn the other racers into zombies, too?" asked J.D.

"Forgive me for my phrasing." said Artemis. "I meant we're going to create literal zombies by raising the dead."

"Oh." said J.D. "I hope none of my former patients are among them."

"I never really associated zombies with the Irish before." thought J.D. "Well, except for that Cranberries song."

Artemis began the incantation. The sky began to darken. Then, the ground started to shift. Two hands reached out of the ground, scaring Butler and J.D.

"Why do I get the feeling we should not be doing this?" asked J.D.

The hands then pulled the rest of the zombie out of the ground. J.D. and Butler stared at it in shock.

"I'm surprised that worked actually." said Artemis. "Well, bring him with us. We could use his help."

Butler picked up the zombie and carried him to the Crown Mail. "I thought we'd create more than one." he said.

"We did." said Artemis. "He was just the only one created here. More corpses are being revived within a fifty mile radius."

XXXXXXXXXX

In a town forty-nine miles away...

"First, I get high, then we get kidnapped!" said Richard as he drove. "This race is driving me nuts."

"Richard, I think you should try to relax." said Larry. "Listen to a calming song on the radio. If you let the stress get to you, it could come out at a very bad time." He went to turn on the radio and yelled "Where the hell is the radio?"

"Maybe I should pull over so we can unwind for ten minutes." said Richard.

"Good idea." said Larry.

Richard pulled the Ascent into a parking lot. He and Larry got out a second later.

"I could go for a soda about now." said Larry. "How about you?"

"I suppose I could eat something." said Richard. "Should we get Bernie something?"

"Nah." said Larry. "What's he gonna do? Steal the car?"

While they were walking away, Bernie started to stir, then sat up. He then dragged himself into the front seat, started the car, and drove it onto the street. Richard and Larry came back about then.

"Not open yet?" asked Richard. "What are we going to do for another hour?"

"We'll just wait in the..." said Larry. "Richard, where's our car?"

It was driving down the street with Bernie behind the wheel. However, Bernie's driving skills had deteriorated greatly since his death. He had some trouble keeping the car going more than ten miles per hour...or in a straight line.

"(So, I hear the Cannonball is supposed to coming through Brazil.)" said a local man in a phone booth in Portuguese. "(I'm wondering if we're going to see one and HOLY CRAP!)" he added just before he bolted from the booth. Bernie mowed it down a second later.

Bernie then drove through a sidewalk cafe which was also not open yet and then plowed through a bus stop. The people on the bench were not injured due to the car's low speed. The car finally crashed through the window of a bakery and came to a rest.

XXXXXXXXXX

Lara and her team were racing against Team Rocket through the Brazilian rainforest.

"Come on, it's just a Focus!" said Joanna. "We should be able to leave him in the dust."

"Come on, it's Lara and her team." said Jessie. "We can't come in behind them again."

"We've spotted two targets." said Paul over the radio. "One appears to be Lara Croft's team and the other...oh, God."

"What's wrong?" asked Joe over the radio.

"It's Team Rocket." said Paul.

Joe groaned. "Go after them anyway." he said.

The Flatbed pulled out and chased the Zender Alpha. The Tornado followed right behind them.

"Which should I shoot?" asked Paul.

"Shoot the Vector." said Feliz. "We can catch the Focus."

"Good point." said Paul.

He took aim at the Zender Alpha with the EDB, then fired. The shot connected with the car which quickly shut down.

"Nice shot, Paulie." said Max. "You guys go after that Focus, we'll take care of these broads."

The Flatbed kept after the Piranha PDQ while the Tornado stopped next to the Zender Alpha. The occupants of both cars climbed out.

"Well, I see you found new transportation since the Fanning Islands." said Lara.

"Where are you going to get new transportation?" asked Joe.

"I thought we'd just take yours." said Cate.

"Just try it." said Max.

Chun Li somersaulted into action. She took an offensive stance, then everyone heard a loud growl. They looked in the direction it came from. They saw a green-skinned monster with orange hair, gold anklets, and brown cutoff jeans.

"Blanka!" yelled Chun Li.

Blanka let out another growl and asked "Who dares attack my friend?"

"We're in deep shit now, Maxie." said Joe.

"Oh shit." said Max.

Chun Li and Blanka leaped into action. Chun Li launched into Max with a flying roundhouse kick. Blanka landed and launched himself at Joe with a Rolling Attack. Oddly, both Hunters were knocked to the ground.

"Seeing you in action is a joke." said Blanka.

"Blanka, what are you doing here?" asked Chun Li.

"I saw those two attacking you and I had to intervene." said Blanka. "Besides, I was hungry."

"Thanks for your help." said Chun Li.

"Now, we just need someone to fix the battery." said Cate.

"No problem." said Blanka. He flipped open the engine cover on the Zender Alpha. He then grabbed the leads on the battery and started his Electricity attack.

"And just to make sure they don't follow us." said Chun Li. She jumped over to the Tornado and unleashed her Lightning Leg attack. The Tornado was torn to shreds within a minute.

Meanwhile, the Flatbed was still in pursuit of the Piranha PDQ.

"Come on, lose this guy." said Annie.

"I'm working on it." said James. "I just can't lose him on this terrain."

"Well, just try or we're..." said Oakley just before James brought the car to a halt at the end of a dead end.

"We are going to settle this here and now." said James.

The members of Team Rocket jumped out of the Piranha PDQ while Paul and Feliz got out of the Flatbed.

"Don't need to zap them." said Feliz. "We'll just take them down and be done with it."

"You want to take us on?" asked Jessie. "Be our guest!"

Just then, they were all distracted by someone approaching. They all turned to look.

"Yeah? What do you want?" asked Meowth.

XXXXXXXXXX

"We've got a hit." said Stalker. "The EDB has been used somewhere in Brazil."

"So, that's where it is." said Roadblock. "Move out!"

The Neutralizer and Quickstrike pulled out of camp.

"There's a road not far from here." said Gung Ho.

"That's the road we were supposed to use in the race." said Willow.

"Well, now we're using it to save our collective hides." said Stalker.

The Neutralizer was first to hit the road. It quickly ground to a halt.

"Whoa, what's going on?" asked Stalker as he pulled alongside in the Quickstrike. "What happened, you guys?" he asked.

"We threw a track!" yelled Roadblock.

"Dag!" yelled Stalker. "This could take a while to fix."

Up the road, Darden and Korpi were cruising towards the Joes in the Savanna. An old heavy metal tune was playing over the radio.

"Joe and Feliz are not responding." said Darden.

"Just great." said Korpi. "They're already out of action. What the..?"

Korpi parked the Savanna not far from the two tanks. He climbed out and started honking the horn. "Hey, what the hell is going on here?" he yelled.

"Gung Ho, could you please explain to this guy this could take a while?" asked Stalker.

Gung Ho marched over to the Savanna and clamped his hands onto the door. "I suggest you show a little patience because this is atime-consuming task." he said.

"Hey, I didn't mean any disrespect to the armed forces." said Korpi nervously. "Please, take all the time you need."

Gung Ho looked to the radio and said "You know, this is a nice song. What is it?"

"Heavy metal classic." said Korpi. "It's 'Redline' by King Kobra."

"COBRA?" growled Gung Ho as he ripped the door off of the Savanna.

"Whoa!" yelled Darden as he jumped out.

"Jesus!" yelled Korpi.

"I hate Cobras!" yelled Gung Ho as he smashed the hood with the door.

"Damn!" yelled Darden.

"When I hear that name, it makes me want to smash things!" yelled Gung Ho as he smashed the grill with the door.

"Oh my God!" yelled Korpi.

Finally, Gung Ho threw the door through the windshield. Leaving Darden and Korpi in stunned shock, he walked back to the tanks.

Stalker, Roadblock, and Willow were also shocked. (With Snake Eyes, we can never tell.) "Next time, I'm sending you." Stalker told Roadblock.

"Noted." said Roadblock.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Okay, I can only see the alien queen." said Buckaroo in the Jersey XS. Winston and Mulder were with him. "So, we're going to need another way to determine who's got aliens. We've got the PKE Meter."

"We've got the Lusso's sensors." said J in the Lusso XT. Peter and Perfect Tommy were with him.

"We've got bupkus." said Louis in the Modo Prego. Syndey and K were with him.

"Not necessarily." said K as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out two pens. "We've got something. It just happens to be illegal in most countries."

"What's that?" asked Sydney.

"This is that drug those kids in Ohio used to defeat the alien queen in the first place." said K. "We sampled some when we came to investigate and replicated it just in case. Unfortunately, we have limited supplies."

"How limited?" asked Louis.

"This is it." said K.

"Great." said Sydney.

"There's our first group." said Louis. "They're supposed to be organizing for protection."

Parked near some Incan ruins were the Citi, Interna, and Baja Buggy. Sam, Woody, Norm, and Cliff were admiring the scenery. Beavis and Butthead were still in their car. Max and Highway were sitting on the front bumper of the Buggy. The Modo Prego pulled up next to them and the three inside climbed out.

"Hey, what's going on here?" asked Sam.

"I understand your teams are going to be running together for protection." said K.

"Before we do that, we think it's best if we can prove that none of you are aliens." said Sydney. "As a doctor, I really don't approve of the use of drugs, but it's necessary in this case."

"What are you talking about?" asked Max.

"This drug causes bad reactions in people infected with alien parasites." said K. "I just need one of each of your teams to take it just to be sure."

"I can vouch for Max." said Highway. "I've been staring at the back of his head since Costa Rica."

K handed him a pen and said "Snap off the cap, snort it."

"Got it." said Highway as he did what K told him. He stuck the pen in his nose and took a big snort. "Ah, that's nasty!" he said.

"No ill effects." said Sydney. "I think. If he's got an alien in him, how long before he starts to react?"

"Instantaneously." said K. "Your turn." he said as he tossed the other pen to Sam.

"Whoa, I can't take this!" said Sam. "I'm a recovering alcoholic!"

"Yeah right, and I'm Canadian." said Louis. "Take it."

"Why me?" asked Sam. "Cliff, you take this." he said as he tossed it to Cliff.

"Uh uh, Sammy." said Cliff. "I gotta keep the old Macintosh running smoothly. Nammie, you should take it."

"What?" laughed Norm. "I don't know about that. I mean this stuff could do some pretty bad things to my system like it could kill some brain cells, damage my liver, that kinda thing."

"Hey, wait a minute!" said Sam. "Have you been taken over?"

"Come on, Sammy." said Cliff. "You know we're okay. When have we been out of your sight?"

"What about back in Ecuador when you had to go to the bathroom?" asked Woody.

"Cliff, what can you tell us about these ruins?" asked Sam.

"Oh, lots of stuff." said Cliff. "Did you know the Incans were larger than any European kingdom at the time of their discovery by Pizarro?"

"He's fine." said Sam.

"Told ya." said Cliff.

"You guys should have your own sitcom." laughed Highway.

"What's with him?" asked Max.

"I think the drug's taking effect." said K.

"Oh, thanks a lot!" said Max. "He was supposed to take over driving duties."

"You're driving!" giggled Highway.

"Sammy, you know what to do." said Cliff as he tossed the pen back to Sam.

"Okay. Woody?" said Sam.

"Yeah?" said Woody.

"Take this." said Sam.

"Make me." said Woody.

"Look, somebody just take the stupid drug so we can get going." said Sydney.

"Oh, alright." said Sam as he broke the top off the pen. "I don't see why we can't go through a single continent without someone getting high on something."

"Was he looking at me when he said that?" asked Louis.

Sam stuck the pen in his nose and took a big snort. "There! Happy now?" he said.

"Alright, I'm satisfied." said K. "Let's go."

"Wait, what about those guys?" asked Louis as he pointed to the Interna.

Sydney walked over to investigate. In the Interna, Beavis and Butthead were listening to the radio. The station was playing "Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode.

"Your own. Huh huh. Personal. Huh huh. Beavis." sang Butthead.

"Someone to kick your butt." sang Beavis. "Someone who sucks. Heh heh."

"Your own. Huh huh. Personal. Huh huh. Beavis." sang Butthead.

"Someone who gives a crap." sang Beavis. "Someone on crack. Heh heh."

"They're okay." said Sydney.

Woody led Sam back to the Citi. Norm got into the driver's seat.

"Hey, hey, Sammy." said Cliff. "You okay?"

"Diane?" asked Sam.

"Look, Sammy." said Cliff. "You just took some kind of God-knows-what and now you're drooling a bit. But, you're not an alien."

"Good to know." said Sam.

XXXXXXXXXX

Somewhere in Bolivia...

"This is a pretty picturesque area." said George.

"Aw yeah." said Stanley. "It's nice."

"Hey, look who's here." said Kuni. The Piranha PDQ started to roll over to them.

Team Rocket then exited their car. "Hello, Mr. Newman." said James.

"Uh, hi." said George.

"You're looking handsome this afternoon." said Jessie.

"Why, thank you." said Kuni.

"I mean really handsome." said Annie.

"Thank you." said Kuni.

George's cell phone rang. "I got it." he said.

He checked his phone and found a text message from Lone Wolf. It said "TR alin. Chk ths ot."

George checked what Lone Wolf was talking about. It was a picture of Marybeth, Jesse, and Chester attacking Team Rocket, Paul, and Feliz. He then went to the next picture, which showed Marybeth, Jesse, and Chester implanting Team Rocket and the Hunters with parasites. He then went to the next picture which showed Team Rocket looking possessed.

"We found something you should probably check out." said Oakley.

George looked at his watch and said "Boy, look at the time! Gotta go!"

He then dragged Stanley and Kuni back to the Super Taxi.

"George, is something wrong?" asked Kuni.

"They're aliens." whispered George. "Let's get out of here."

Stanley screamed and looked back. Team Rocket approached menacingly. "Run!" yelled Stanley.

The three of them piled into the Super Taxi. George was driving. He peeled out and took off. Team Rocket poured into the Piranha PDQ and took off after them.

XXXXXXXXXX

In Kentucky...

"Okay, I've got the computer hooked up to the GPS tracker." said Wario. "How's the connection with the satellite dish?"

"Looks fine to me." said Bowser. "How long is this going to take?"

"Not long." said Wario. He started to use the computer. "Hmmm, it seems Waluigi has a lot of MP3s on this computer. Wow, he really likes this 80s music."

"Okay, the dish is pointed in the right...whoa." said Bowser as he started to lose his balance. "Whoa! WHOA!"

Bowser then fell off the roof and grabbed one of the wires in a vain attempt to catch himself. The wire was then pulled down with him. The other end was tangled around Wario's leg. He let out a scream just before it pulled him out of the car. He made one last attempt to grab the computer's keyboard, but only hit the return key.

Within a second, he and Bowser were both hanging from the roof.

"Nice one." said Bowser.

"Let go." said Wario.

"You let go!" said Bowser.

XXXXXXXXXX

In San Fransisco, Chloe was running into trouble. "Now, what's wrong with this thing?" she asked.

"What's the problem?" asked Harvey.

"There's something wrong with the satellite network." said Chloe. "It's like someone's trying to send an MP3 through it."

XXXXXXXXXX

Back in Bolivia...

"They're still back there." said Kuni.

"Wait, here comes Lone Wolf." said George.

Lone Wolf pulled alongside the Super Taxi. "I see you got my message." he said.

"Yeah, thanks for the warning." said George.

"Follow me, I can get you out of here." said Lone Wolf. He raced on ahead.

"Hey, what's wrong with the satellite radio?" asked Stanley.

"I dunno." said George. He tried adjusting it and Waluigi's MP3 started to play. "Hey, I love this song!" said George.

Lone Wolf poured on the speed. George kept after him with James right behind.

Put down that chainsaw and listen to me.
It's time for us to join in the fight.
It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys.
It's time to let the bedbugs bite.

You better put all your eggs in one basket.
You better count your chickens before they hatch.
You better sell some wine before it's time.
You better find yourself an itch to scratch.

Lone Wolf roared out of the rainforest and onto a Bolivian highway. The Super Taxi and Pirahna PDQ were right behind him.

You better squeeze all the Charmin you can,
when Mr. Whipple's not around.
Stick your head in the microwave to get yourself a tan.

A tractor-trailer drove through an intersection ahead of them and blocked their path. Lone Wolf slid under it and got back on his wheels. George used a fence to rock the Super Taxi onto its side wheels and cut in front of the truck. The Piranha drove under it.

Talk...with your mouth full.
Bite...the hand that feeds you.
Bite...off more than you can chew.
What can you do?
Dare to be stupid.

Take...some wooden nickels.
Look...for Mr. Goodbar.
Get...your mojo working now.
I'll show you how.
You can dare to be stupid.

You can turn the other cheek.
You can just give up the ship.
You can eat a bunch of sushi,
then forget to leave a tip.

Dare to be stupid.
Yeah!
Why don't you dare to be stupid?
It's so easy,
so dare to be stupid.
We're all waiting for you.
Let's go.

"I found a shortcut. Come on!" said Lone Wolf as he led George down a dirt road. The Piranha followed.

It's time to.
Make a mountain out of a molehill,
so can I have a volunteer?
There's no more time for crying over spilled milk.
Now, it's time for crying in your beer.

Settle down with a hubby, join the PTA,
buy some sensible shoes and a Chevrolet,
then party 'til you're broke and they drag you away.
It's okay.
You can dare to be stupid.

The Nousagi and Super Taxi raced across a bridge and found themselves amongst some ruins. They raced into separate tunnels with the Piranha behind them.

It's just like spitting on a fish.
It's just like barking up a tree.
It's like I said,
you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free.

Dare to be stupid.
Yeah!
Why don't you dare to be stupid?
It's so easy,
so dare to be stupid.
We're all waiting for you.

Burn your candle at both ends.
Look a gift horse in the mouth.
Mashed potatoes can be your friends.

Lone Wolf leaped his bike onto the ground and suddenly lurched to a halt. The Super Taxi pulled alongside him and he told George "Chain broke!"

You can be a coffee achiever.
You can sit around the house and watch "Leave it to Beaver.
The future's up to you,
so whatcha gonna go?
Dare to be stupid.
Dare to be stupid.

The Pirahna raced towards the Super Taxi and George backed up quickly as he tried to avoid them.

What did I say?
Dare to be stupid.
Tell me, what did I say?
Dare to be stupid.
It's alright.
Dare to be stupid.
We can be stupid alright.
Dare to be stupid.

The Piranha went bumper-to-bumper with the Super Taxi. George continued to back up. Finally, he pulled a bootlegger and the Piranha's front wheels went off a wall.

Come on, join the crowd.
Dare to be stupid.
Shout it out loud.
Dare to be stupid.
I can't hear you.
Dare to be stupid.
Okay, I can hear you now.
Dare to be stupid.

George raced back to Lone Wolf as the Piranha's front wheels spun uselessly in the air.

Let's go,
dare to be stupid.
Dare to be stupid.
Dare to be stupid.
Dare to be stupid.
Dare to be stupid.
Dare to be stupid.
Dare to be stupid.
Dare to be stupid.

-"Dare to Be Stupid" by "Weird Al" Yankovic.

Lone Wolf was looking at the Nousagi as George, Stanley, and Kuni walked over to him.

"How bad?" asked George.

"I need a replacement link." said Lone Wolf. "Can you give me a ride to the next town?"

"Hey, after all you've done for us, it's the least we can do for you." said Kuni.

"I got the trunk." said Stanley.

"Will the Nousagi fit in there?" asked Lone Wolf.

"Well, I know that me and Kuni can fit in there together." said George as he helped wheel the Nousagi over to the trunk. "Don't ask me how."

XXXXXXXXXX

In San Francisco, Monk was watching race coverage on television.

"There have been rumors tossed around about an alien invasion, but no proof of such. If such proof is offered, it will no doubt be discounted by the scientific community. What isn't rumor is the recent zombie outbreak in Brazil. However, the outbreak isn't being taken seriously by the locals and, strangely enough, the zombies."

A local walked up to one of the zombies and asked for directions. It pointed down a street and the local followed. Another group of zombies were seen gathered around a storefront watching television. The television was showing an episode of "Married...With Children."

"While the Cannonballers seem to be thriving amidst the reported alien invasion and zombie outbreak, one team ran into a little bit of bad luck when one team member drove their car right through a bakery window. The driver, Bernie Lomax, was cited for driving with an expired license and various other infractions, the car was removed from the window and repaired, and the team continued with the race."

"No wonder they didn't let him drive." said Monk.

Not far away, Nash and Joe were talking with Zeke.

"So, Mr. Tyler." said Nash. "Can I call you Zeke? As I mentioned, this alien invasion everyone is talking about is pretty much like the one you helped stop back in high school."

"So, what do you want from me?" asked Zeke.

"We need Skat." said Joe. "That's the stuff they used to defeat the alien back in Herrington. So, we need it to defeat her again."

"If you look back at the history of the invasion," said Zeke "you'll see there was a lot of torture from the alien queen bitch. There's no way I'm going to put myself back in danger like that. I'm sorry, but you're just going to have to find someone else to make your Skat."

"There is no one else." said Joe. "You're the only one..."

"Hold it, Joe." said Nash. "Now, Mr. Tyler, this is where another police chief would start to get pissed. But I'm not another police chief. You see, I try to get deals by seeing what I want from the other party, then I try to give them what they want. And that's what I'm going to do with you. Come on."

He led Zeke to the balcony overlooking the parking lot. A truck carrying the car with a tarp over it was parked outside with Jesse, Dex, and Wildcat standing over it.

"I believe you know what that is." said Nash. "But just in case, guys, lift the tarp!"

Jesse and Dex pulled the tarp off revealing a black muscle car with red stripes. The front end was mangled and fire-blackened and the windshield and rear window were smashed.

"Wow." said Nash. "That's a 'Goat', isn't it?"

"1970 Pontiac GTO." said Zeke. "It was wrecked during the last invasion."

"And we brought it with us to aid in the negotiation." said Joe as Harvey led a man in his early forties onto the balcony.

"So, what are you going to do with it?" asked Zeke. "Smash it up even more if I don't comply?"

"Just the opposite, actually." said the man.

Zeke turned to look at him, then jumped back in shock. "Oh my God, you're Chip Foose!" he said.

"Nash called me in." said Chip as he shook hands with Zeke. "If you help us out, we're going to fix up your GTO and I'm going to design it."

Zeke looked at Chip, then the GTO, then asked Nash "Where's your local chemical supply store?"

"Alright! That's the spirit!" said Nash.

On the truck, Jesse jammed a crowbar into the hood of the GTO and popped it open, revealing the engine.

"400 cubic inch displacement Ram Air, no shit." he said.

"Wow, that looks ace." said Dex.

"You know, I've got some spare parts in the van." said Wildcat. "We can use them to fix up the engine in about a day."

"Really?" asked Dex.

"Sure, and since we only have half the parts," said Wildcat "it'll only take half as long."

"You know something?" asked Jesse. "This will decimate all...after we put about fifteen grand or more into it...and if we have to, overnight some parts from Detroit."

XXXXXXXXXX

Somewhere in Bolivia, the next group was forming. The Knight, Citi Turbo, and PT Phoenix were parked at a scenic overlook.

"How much longer before our fourth shows up?" asked Stone Cold.

"Better not be long." said Homer. "I've got ice cream melting in the trunk."

"Hey, I was thinking." said B.A. "What do you guys plan on doing with the money?"

"I was thinking of putting on the best rock tour I possibly can." said Rob. "I'd use the money to build an elaborate setup and cut ticket prices a lot. You know, kind of what U2 did on their Zoo TV tour."

"I'd use the money to get the Foundation to build KITT some female companionship." said Michael.

"Thank you, Michael." said KITT. "I'd like her to be a Miata if that's at all possible."

"What about you, Homer?" asked Stone Cold. "What did you spend it on last year?"

"Ah, I blew the whole thing on some environmental scam." said Homer. "Stupid dihydrogen monoxide."

Just then, the Majestic pulled up. Joel and Fearless climbed out.

"What do these guys want?" asked Bart.

"Excuse me." said Joel. "Are you Cannonballers?"

"Why do you ask?" asked Michael.

"Michael, I just ran the plates on their car." said KITT. "It's registered to a Los Angeles Triad who was arrested a few years ago. The car was confiscated by a local sherriff who retained it for office use. That sherriff is currently the man in charge of investigating the Cannonball."

Fearless drew his gun. "Okay, you're coming with us." he said.

"Whoa, I don't think you have any authority here in South America." said B.A.

"That's not what this says." said Joel. He handed them a piece of paper.

"It's a notice from Interpol." said Stone Cold. "It gives them jurisdiction in other countries in cases of organized crime."

"Whoa! I didn't know they could do that." said Bart.

Suddenly, there was a rustling from the bushes. A second later, a half dozen zombies shambled out.

"Hey, bro." said Rob.

Homer and Bart screamed and jumped back into the Citi Turbo. The others followed suit.

"Run!" yelled Joel.

"Come on, we have to pick up Marge and Lisa." said Homer as he pulled out. Maggie was sitting in the back seat sucking on her pacifier.

"Follow those guys." said B.A. in the back seat of the Knight. "Murdock's with those girls."

"Look, I know you feel a kinship with those things." said Stone Cold to Nemesis. "But I really don't think we should be near them."

Back at the scenic overlook, the zombies looked out at the scenery. One of them pulled out a camera and the others grouped together. The zombie with the camera moaned something. The other zombies moaned. (One also made "rabbit ears" behind another's head.) The zombie with the camera took their picture.

Homer and Michael stopped at a clearing where Lisa, Marge, and Murdock were standing. Stone Cold kept going with Joel in pursuit.

"Get in! Quick!" yelled Homer.

"Get in, fool!" yelled B.A.

Lisa climbed into the back of the Citi Turbo with Bart and Maggie. Marge got into the front passenger seat. Murdock got into the Knight's front passenger seat. Both cars took off running.

"Boy, that was close." said Bart.

"Homer, can I show you something?" asked Marge.

"Oh, can't it wait, Marge?" asked Homer.

"Ah! Dad!" yelled Bart. "Lisa's trying to...HMMMPP! Never mind."

"Wha?" asked Homer. "Oh no! My family's been taken over by aliens! This is awful!"

"It's not so bad, Homer." said Marge. "You should join us."

"But look at you!" said Homer. "Now, we're going to be conformists and part of an invasion to conquer the world and we're going to have our thinking done for us...where do I sign up?"

Homer pulled over to be taken over as the Stratum and Buccaneer gave chase to the Knight.

"They can take me to Rockatansky." said the Warrior.

"Who cares?" asked Foyt. "I'm interested in all the Cannonballers."

"Ah, dangit." said B.A. "Not only are we being chased again, the Simpsons seem to be pulling over."

"I detect nothing wrong with their car." said KITT. "However, something odd is going on in there."

Michael's eyes widened with a sudden realization. "KITT, scan Mr. Murdock, please." he said while hiding his mouth with his hand.

KITT performed the scan. "Michael, I've performed this scan numerous times already." he said. "I don't think there's...oh no, there's something in his head!"

Murdock turned to attack Michael, but Michael hit the Eject Front Right button. Murdock was immediately jettisoned from the vehicle.

Johnny and Lance watched Murdock shoot into the air. "Boy, he had to go bad." said Lance.

"Alright, let's get out of here, KITT!" said Michael.

The Knight raced down a dirt road with the Stratum and Buccaneer in pursuit. Michael put it to the floor, but the two cars were still behind him.

"We're not losing them!" said B.A. "They're hanging on us!"

"Not for long." said Michael. "See that river?"

"You mean the one without the bridge?" asked KITT.

"You got it." said Michael.

"What do you mean the one without the bridge?" asked B.A.

"The one without the bridge!" said KITT.

"Is he nuts?" asked Johnny.

"That's why we gotta take him off the road." said Lance.

The Knight raced towards the river. Just as it was about to go in...

"Michael!" said KITT.

"Hang on!" yelled Michael. He pushed the Turbo Boost button and the Knight soared over the river. The car came to a hard landing on the other side.

"You alright, B.A?" asked Michael.

"I'm fine." said B.A. "Look, I understand that was necessary, but if you do that one more time, I'm hitchhiking back to the states."

"KITT?" asked Michael.

"Looks like they're going to try it too." said KITT.

"Micro-Lock their brakes." said Michael as he pushed the Micro-Jam button.

The Knight started to project a microwave beam at the Stratum and the car's brakes locked. It spun out and rolled over into the river. The Buccaneer came to a stop nearby. Michael laughed.

"I pity those fools." said B.A. "I pity 'em."

Lance and Johnny crawled out of the partially submerged Stratum. Foyt and the Warrior watched.

"Get me out of here." said Johnny.

"Will you guys quit fooling around?" yelled Foyt.

Not far away, the PT Phoenix tore down another dirt road with the Citi Turbo, Piranha PDQ, Cohete, and Stadt on its tail.

"I think we could use some breathing room." said Rob.

"I got a plan." said Stone Cold. "Brace yourself."

"I did as soon as you said 'I got a plan'." said Rob.

Stone Cold laughed and turned off onto another dirt road. The pursuing cars failed to notice the sudden move and missed the turn.

"Now what?" asked Rob.

"There's a ferry crossing ahead." said Stone Cold. "Me and Nemesis saw it on the map. Right, buddy?"

Nemesis roared.

"After the ferry takes us across the river..." said Stone Cold.

"We sabotage it." said Rob.

"Exactly." said Stone Cold.

Seconds later, they came to the ferry. Unfortunately, it was already taking another car across the river.

"Damn! Missed it!" said Stone Cold.

"All is not lost." said Rob. "Let me drive."

"What?" asked Stone Cold.

"Come on!" said Rob as he and Stone Cold got out. "Tout de suite!"

"Rob, you speak French." said Stone Cold as he and Rob got back in on opposite sides.

Rob threw the car into reverse and backed up some distance.

"Oh, I see what you're gonna do." said Stone Cold.

Rob put the car back into the forward gears and raced towards the crossing. He hit the nitrous just before he got there.

"Yahoo!" cheered Stone Cold as the PT Phoenix hit an embankment and jumped the river. The ferryman looked up at it as it passed by the trees. "Hey, look. There's a bird nesting." said Stone Cold as the car started to land.

The car came down with a thud and turned back for the crossing. The two men got out and approached the bewildered ferryman.

"You guys must be in some kind of hurry." said the ferryman.

"Yeah, we are. What?" said Stone Cold.

"Let me handle this." said Rob. He turned to the ferryman and said "Senor, how would you like to make one hundred dollars?"

The ferryman looked to him intrigued.

"Some friends of ours will be coming along shortly and I was wondering if you could sort of delay them." said Rob. "You know, as a joke."

The pursuing cars raced along towards the crossing. The ferryman looked in the direction of their engine sounds. Finally, he turned back to Rob.

"Sorry, I can't do it, senor." said the ferryman. "It's against regulations."

"THREE hundred dollars?" asked Rob.

"Regulations." explained the ferryman.

"FOUR hundred dollars." said Rob.

"It's against regulations." said the ferryman.

"Regulate THIS!" said Stone Cold as he picked up the ferryman and gave him a piledriver. He then went into the ferry's cabin and started to work the throttle loose. "I've had enough of regulations." he said. Finally, the throttle lever broke free and Stone Cold tossed it into the river.

"Not how I would have handled it." said Rob. "Good work."

A horn sound alerted them to the pursuing cars on the other side.

"See ya." said Rob as he waved. He then gave them the finger and ran for the PT Phoenix. "Let's go. I'll drive." he said.

"Okay." said Stone Cold. "You drive."

XXXXXXXXXX

Fuji drove the Alarde down the dirt road. "Once we get to the river, we can implement your next stunt." he said.

"Thanks, Fuje." said Super Dave as he sat on the roof of the Alarde. He was tethered to the car's rear bumper again. "I hope this barefoot waterskiing stunt works better than my last few."

"You sound worried, Super." said Fuji.

"I am worried, Fuji." said Super Dave. "We haven't seen any other cars since yesterday. I'm almost afraid we've fallen too far behind."

"Look, Super!" said Fuji as he pointed to the Citi Turbo, Stadt, Cohete, and Piranha PDQ heading for them.

"I should've known we weren't that far behind." said Super Dave as the other cars drove around the Alarde. "Wait, where are they going?"

Fuji immediately performed a 180 degree turn and raced after them. However, he had thrown Super Dave off the car and was now dragging him behind.

"Fuji!" yelled Super Dave. "Reel me in! Reel me in!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Okay, we've decided to recruit the three of you to help root out the alien menace." said Buckaroo to Team MASK, Ethan and Snake, and Jarod and Johnny Five. "I'm sure there's some way to pay you back for your assistance, so if you can think of something, name it."

"I have a request." said Matt. "I need to ask Chloe to use her computer to look something up."

"I'll patch you through to her as soon as I can." said Buckaroo.

"Us? We're just doing our job." said Ethan.

"Speak for yourself." said Snake. "I'll mention something if I can think of it."

"Doctor Banzai, I have a request for you." said Jarod. "If you honor this, I will lend my assistance."

"Jarod, your teammate has already pledged his assistance." said Buckaroo. "Mr. Zeddmore is rigging him up as we speak."

Winston was working on Johnny Five's arm. "Just a little more and you've got a built-in PKE Meter." he said.

"Good job." said Johnny Five. "Now, can you rig me with XM satellite radio?"

"I'll get back to you on that." said Winston.

"What is your request?" asked Buckaroo.

"It's like this." said Jarod. "There's this organization called the Centre. They held me captive for a couple of decades using my talents to formulate some insidious plans and schemes. If it's not too much trouble, I'd like you to look into them."

"I have no problem with that." said Buckaroo. "I assume we can count on you now."

"You can." said Jarod. "As of now, you're working with Jarod Scully, professional alien hunter."

Mulder gave him a suspicious look. Next to him, Matt was using the satellite video phone.

"According to the MIBs, the designs for the race cars two years ago came from an outside source." said Matt. "When you get a moment, can you search through the records and find out what that outside source is?"

"I'll work on it, Matt." said Chloe in San Francisco. "Right now, we're in the middle of a huge assignment, so I'm sure you understand that we can't perform the search now."

"I understand completely." said Matt. "We're in this assignment as well."

"Okay, thank you very much." said Chloe. "I'll get back to you later."

Chloe closed the channel and got up to get a snack. She walked past Zeke, Jesse, Dex, and Wildcat who had set up a miniature chemistry lab.

"Caffeine pills?" said Dex. "Who knew this was the secret ingredient?"

"You never saw that." said Zeke as he took it away from him.

"So, it was just you and four others against the aliens, huh?" asked Wildcat.

"Yeah, quite a story." said Zeke as he took out a photograph. "We got our picture taken together afterwards. Nice, huh?"

Jesse took the picture and looked at it. "This girl kinda looks like Dominic's sister." he said.

"Oh, that's Delilah." said Zeke. "Want me to introduce you?"

"No, no, that's fine." said Jesse.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Crusero Magnifico, Jones J450, and Modicum XSV were parked at a gas station waiting for the fourth for their group.

"If he doesn't get here soon, I suggest we go it alone." said Dale.

"Don't worry." said Kermit. "I'm sure the fourth team will be here soon."

"Oh really?" said Daffy. "After seeing our competition, I'm not so sure they could escape those aliens."

"Yo man!" said Boomhauer. "That there ding dang fourth team done shown up."

The Bryanston V pulled into the gas station and the team climbed out.

"Did we, uh, miss anything?" asked Ben.

"Not yet." said Bugs. "Ready for a team-up?"

"We're all set." said Bernard.

"Great, let's go." said Fozzie.

Within a minute, the cars were on the road.

"Uh, Bugs?" asked Daffy. "Are you getting that creepy feeling I am?"

"Ah, what feeling is that, Daffy?" asked Bugs.

"Oh, just the feeling that THOSE GUYS IN THE PINK CAR ARE ALIENS!" said Daffy.

"What are you talking about?" asked Bugs.

"Well, why do you think they're late?" asked Daffy. "How do you explain the rabbit's violent attitude? How do you explain how they can bear to be in a pink car?"

"Max, will you just calm down already?" asked Sam. "At least you're not as tempermental as usual."

Sam picked up Max and got punched in the face three times.

"So, Bernard." said Ben. "How can you bring yourself to drive a pink car?"

Max popped out of Sam's grip and pounced on him.

"Oh, after a few thousand miles, it really doesn't bother me." said Bernard. "In fact, I've got other concerns."

Sam picked up Max again and Max kicked him several times.

"Like what?" asked Ben.

Sam threw Max out the window.

"Well, did you ever consider that one or more of the teams we're traveling with may be aliens?" asked Bernard.

"Why do you say that?" asked Ben.

Max climbed back through the window and pounced on Sam again.

"Well, when I heard about the invasion," said Bernard. "I called my friends with the Meteor Police and they told me to be wary of anyone acting strangely."

"Acting strangely?" asked Ben. "That could be anyone in the race."

"Well, I'm just keeping an open mind." said Bernard.

"Um, Kermit." said Fozzie. "I was thinking."

"About what?" asked Kermit.

"Well, how do we know none of our companions are aliens?" asked Fozzie.

"Well...um...uh..." said Kermit. "Well, I'm sure they're not."

"Of course they're not." said Gonzo. "They didn't have green skin or antennae."

"Uh, Gonzo, these aliens are parasites that burrow into someone's brain and control them." said Kermit.

"Oh, forget I said anything." said Gonzo.

"Hank, those other teams are part of the alien invasion." said Dale.

"Dangit, Dale." said Hank. "What makes you say that? They haven't been out of our sight the whole time."

"Or so they want you to think." said Dale. "They've already taken over the government. We're not in Iraq looking for oil. We're looking for more brains to control."

"Why do I even bother?" asked Hank.

The cars came to a four-way intersection. In the Crusero, Bugs looked to Daffy who pointed left, then Wile E. who held up a sign that said "Do it."

Kermit looked around nervously, then prepared to turn right. Fozzie, Gonzo, and Animal nodded to him.

The cars entered the intersection. The Crusero went left, the Modicum went right, the Jones J450 went straight, and the Bryanston V turned around and went back the way they came.

Hank stopped the truck.

"You see, Hank?" asked Dale. "They conspired to leave us alone."

"Gotdangit, Dale!" yelled Hank. "Will you just shut up?"

Brock was watching on a satellite camera. "Good idea." he said. "This is going gangbusters."

XXXXXXXXXX

At a rest stop in Argentina, Memphis and Jesse were sitting next to each other playing poker.

"So then I tell the guy 'Ferrari? I thought you said Fiero.'" said Memphis. Jesse, Chen, and Kobe laughed. The two zombies sitting with them moaned.

"Okay, I'll keep these three." said Memphis as he tossed two cards into the pile and drew two more from the deck. "And I'll draw two. What about you, Jesse?"

Jesse picked up the hand of the zombie next to him, which was holding his cards. "I think I'll stick with the hand I've got." he said. "So, what do you have?"

"I've got five unmatched cards. I fold." said Kobe.

"I have a flush." said Chen. "What about you, zombie?"

"(Chen, he's eating the cards again!)" said Kobe.

Nearby, Dominic and Kaga were sitting on the hoods of their cars.

"So, I told the barber I wanted a haircut like that 70s TV cop." said Dominic. "I meant Starsky, he thought I was talking about Kojak."

Kaga laughed. "In Japan, we ask for the number." he said.

The Schneller V8 pulled up next. Corvax and the two Terminators climbed out.

"Where's the fourth?" asked Corvax.

"Running late from the looks of it." said Dominic.

"Here he comes." said Kaga. The Torrida approached.

Buffy, Xander, and Marybeth climbed out and walked towards the group.

"Aren't you the guys we were warned about?" asked Memphis.

"Warned about by whom?" asked Xander.

"Why don't you guys just give it up?" asked Kobe. "The news is out about your team."

"Very well." said Marybeth. "Take them."

Buffy and Xander started to advance on the racers.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked the T-1000. "In case you haven't noticed, you're completely outnumbered by seasoned fighters."

"Seasoned fighters and fighters with seasoning." said Chen.

The teams then did battle. About then, the Vortex 5 pulled up.

"I think these are the guys." said Jarod.

"Let's go for it." said Johnny 5.

"Hold on, I have to put on a disguise." said Jarod as he opened a makeup kit.

"Why?" asked Johnny 5.

Jarod pointed to Jesse and said "Because I went on 'Monster Garage' last year as Jarod Goodrich," then pointed to Kaga and added "and earlier, I went on 'Iron Chef' as Jarod Child."

"Oh, I see." said Johnny 5. "How'd you do?"

"Trans-Am rally car was a success, brocolli duck roast lost by five points." said Jarod.

Memphis held Xander in a half nelson while Jesse and Dominic approached.

"Don't you know you can put an eye out roughhousing?" asked Jesse.

"This is gonna hurt, isn't it?" asked Xander.

Buffy tangled with the T-X.

"You should probably submit." said Buffy as she delivered a pair of roundhouse kicks, both of which were blocked. "You will not have to take this then."

"Not likely." said the T-X. "Your parasites are not compatible with my infrastructure."

Marybeth fought with the T-1000 and took him in a headlock. She then dropped one of her parasites into his ear. She released him and let him stand up. He did and then the parasite came out of his hand.

"I believe this is yours." he said just before he crushed the parasite.

Corvax talked with Kaga and the Iron Chefs by the cars.

"And then you add about a teaspoon of duck sauce." said Chen.

"Ah, sounds tasty." said Corvax.

"Did you know that less than five percent of duck sauce is applied to duck?" asked Kobe.

Buffy managed to get the T-X to stumble. Just before she could follow up with anything, a laser blast hit the wall next to her. Everyone looked to where it had come from and saw Johnny 5 and Jarod who was disguised as an old man.

"We know about Buffy and Xander, but what about the others?" asked Jarod. "Are they clean?"

Johnny 5 scanned them with the PKE Meter. "They're Zestfully clean." he said.

"Okay, let's get back to the cars and get back to the race!" said Jarod.

"Give me one reason why!" said Dominic.

"Two hundred, fifty million dollars." said Johnny 5.

"I'm sold." said Kaga.

"And to make sure they don't follow us." said Johnny 5. He turned to the Torrida and fired his laser at the front tire.

The racers returned to their cars. On the way, Dominic's cell phone rang. He answered it.

"Yeah?"

"Dominic, are you alright?" asked Jesse on the other end.

"Yeah, Jesse. What's going on?" replied Dominic.

"The aliens tried to stop us and we're beating it." said Jesse James.

"We fixed up a buttload of Skat and had it loaded onto a plane." said Jesse. "It should be there before you get to Tierra Del Fuego."

"Good to hear, now we get this alien mess behind us." said Dominic.

"Of course we're gonna get it behind us." said Jesse James. "That's why we're getting out of here."

"Look, Jesse, I'm gonna have to call you back." said Dominic. "Mr. James is being a smartass."

XXXXXXXXXX

The Saikou and RSMC 15 raced through Argentina. The black van was right behind them.

"Mama mia!" said Mario. "This guy is-a not letting up!"

"Don't worry." said Link. "I'm trying to find a weapon to use against him."

"Come on, Knuckles!" said Sonic. "I can get out and run faster than this!"

"You can run faster than anything." said Tails.

Suddenly, the Saikou lost power and drifted to a halt.

"Uh oh." said Luigi.

"What's wrong?" asked Mario.

"We're out of gas." said Luigi.

"Knuckles, what are you doing?" asked Sonic.

"Increasing our lead." said Knuckles.

"You can't just leave them there!" said Tails.

"Why not?" asked Knuckles.

"Well, think about it." said Sonic. "Every year, we enter this race to show that plumber up. If something were to happen to them, the race would lose its purpose for me."

"Besides, you'd want them to do the same for you, right?" asked Tails.

Knuckles thought about their words for a second, then performed a 180-degree turn.

"Ha! I knew you'd do the right thing." said Sonic.

The black van prepared to charge the Saikou.

"Link, where's that weapon?" asked Mario.

"I'm looking!" said Link as he went through the chest.

Just as the van was charging towards the Saikou, the Pianha PDQ showed up and parked near them. The van veered off and drove away.

"Okay, when the scary guy is scared, that's a problem." said Luigi.

"What now?" asked Mario.

Just then, the RSMC 15 returned. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles jumped out.

"Hey, the calvary's arrived...sort of." said Link.

"Let's-a go." said Mario. He jumped out of the Saikou and grabbed a Fire Flower. Luigi followed and grabbed a Magic Leaf.

Sonic had his Ancient Light, Tails had his Laser Blaster, and Knuckles was armed with his Hammer Gloves.

"Mario, why don't you and your team join us?" asked Jessie.

"I'd-a rather not." said Mario.

"You want some of this?" asked Knuckles.

"Found it!" yelled Link. He stood up out of the Saikou with his Flute. He then blew the Flute. A pair of birds flew in and carried off the Saikou and RSMC 15 with their passengers.

"Well, that took long enough." said Luigi.

"Where are we going?" asked Tails.

"We should be taken to the next gas station." said Link.

"Looks like we came back for nothing." said Knuckles.

"You came back for us?" asked Luigi.

"Hey, we couldn't let you guys get pasted." said Sonic.

"Paisan!" said Mario.

"Dude!" said Sonic.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Victory and Cocotte raced through Chile. They came to an intersection and stopped. The teams in both cars got out.

"What's wrong?" asked James. "Why are we stopping?"

"We've lost the Angels." said Leonardo.

"I thought our rearview looked empty." said Jaws.

"What happened to them?" asked Donatello.

"Maybe they stopped for pizza." said Raphael.

"And they didn't tell us?" asked Michaelangelo. "Totally bogus, man!"

"Wait, here they come." said James as the Kuruma Faasuto pulled up.

Dylan, Natalie, and Alex climbed out, but Wayne and Garth were nowhere in sight.

"Hello, Angels." said Raphael.

"Dylan, what happened to you guys?" asked Leonardo. "And where are Wayne and Garth?"

"We had a flat." said Dylan. "We were going to call you guys, but our radio was out."

"We decided to leave Wayne and Garth behind." said Natalie. "Something about a bathroom break."

"And you didn't wait for them?" asked Donatello.

"This is a race!" said Alex.

"Okay, something's up." said Raphael.

"Agreed." said James. "Can you ladies prove you are not infected with an alien parasite?"

The Angels looked to each other. "Not at the moment." said Dylan.

"Then we have no choice. Sorry." said Leonardo. He and the Turtles drew their weapons. James pulled out his sleeper dart weapon.

It was then that the Veloci pulled up. Tommy, Max, Wayne, and Garth climbed out.

"Whoa! What's going on here?" asked Garth.

"Wh-what happened to you guys?" asked Donatello.

"Oh, we stopped to fix a flat tire." said Wayne. "And then we decided to take a leak and I guess the girls got tired of waiting."

"You shouldn't have done that!" said Tommy. "What if the aliens got you?"

"How do we know their story checks out?" asked Michaelangelo.

"I have an idea." said James. He whispered something to Leonardo.

"Got it." said Leonardo. He walked up to Wayne and Garth and whispered something to them. They whispered something in response.

"What are you guys doing?" asked Natalie.

"What he's asking is 'which tire'?" said James.

"Rear-left." said Alex.

"That's the answer I got." said Leonardo.

"Uh, sorry for that little misunderstanding." said Raphael.

"Oh, no problem." said Wayne.

"Why am I always the last to beinformed of anything?" asked Max.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Jetto, this is Sky Captain. I'm about an hour from Tierra Del Fuego. Any sign of the alien queen?"

"A couple of hours ago, we had a report that the queen accosted three of the teams." said Jetto from the passenger seat of the Rigg. "We don't know where she is now."

"Great." said Sky Captain.

"Tell him we might have her." said Mason. They were right behind the Super Taxi.

"We're almost there." said George.

"Good. I can't wait for Antarctica." said Kuni.

"Look, guys." said Stanley. "There's Mason and Spike."

"I see 'em, Stanley." said George. "But, uh, what's that other truck?"

Behind the Rigg was the Flatbed. Darden and Korpi were riding on the back with Paul.

"So, where'd you find the girl?" asked Korpi.

"We picked her up in Argentina." said Paul.

Marybeth sat in the passenger seat while Feliz drove.

Stalker watched the Flatbed drive along the road through binoculars. "I have a visual on the EDB." he said. "Let's roll!"

Stalker put the Quickstrike into gear while Roadblock put the Neutralizer into motion. Stalker, Roadblock, and Gung Ho called out "Yo Joe!"

"Mason, we've got a problem." said Spike from the Rigg's turret.

"I see it, Spike." said Mason. "Let's be careful."

The Flatbed pulled alongside the Rigg and Paul aimed the EDB at it. Spike aimed the turret right back.

"Go ahead. I dare you." said Spike. "This thing ain't electric."

"If you insist." said Paul. As he went to pull the trigger, an explosion rocked the truck.

Everyone turned to see the explosion was the result of one of the Quickstrike's missiles.

"Now that he's distracted, ram him!" said Jetto.

Mason turned the Rigg towards the Flatbed and rammed it. The blades on the Rigg's wheels started to rip into the side of the Flatbed.

In front, the Super Taxi was joined by the Boost.

"Kuni, what's going on?" asked Bruce.

"I think we've found the alien queen." said Kuni.

"I'm going in." said Matt.

"Me too." said Stanley.

"Then, let's suit up." said Matt. He pushed a button on the dashboard and his Spectrum mask was lowered over his head.

The Rigg and the two G.I. Joe vehicles got into a shoving match while on the road.

"Get rid of these guys." said Marybeth.

Feliz swerved one way and knocked the Rigg into the bushes, then the other way and caused the Neutralizer to spin out. The Quickstrike stopped to avoid hitting it.

"You guys alright?" asked Stalker.

"Mais oui." said Gung Ho. "It's going to take a second to return to the chase, though."

"We're fine, too." said Mason. "Let's get back in there."

"Stalker, where's Snake-Eyes?" asked Roadblock.

"I see we have two targets to destroy." said Paul. "Let's get to it."

"Spectrum Hang Glider, on!" called Matt. A yellow energy net covered his arms and he used it to glide to the front end of the Flatbed.

"DUN DUN DAAAHHHH!" called Stanley as he transformed into Captain Chaos and followed Matt.

Darden and Korpi jumped to their feet when the two fighters boarded the truck.

"It's open season on costumed weirdos." said Darden.

Suddenly, Snake-Eyes popped up onto the back of the truck and took a fighting stance.

"I don't believe it." said Korpi. "It's one of those G.I. Joe guys."

"You're with G.I. Joe?" asked Matt. "Funny, I thought you'd be taller."

"Ball's in our court." said Chaos.

"Then, it looks like I have to play." said Marybeth as she climbed onto the back.

"Better get back in the truck, toots." said Korpi. "This is no place for a lady."

"Wanna bet?" asked Marybeth. She turned her arms into tentacles, then transformed into her true form.

Darden and Korpi stared in shock. "No...frickin'...way." said Darden.

"I think we could use some help." said Matt.

Just then, the Monstruo raced out of a side road and got behind the Flatbed.

"Whoa, what is that thing?" asked Ethan.

"That's our target I assume." said Snake. "Now, how do we get on that thing?"

"Like this." said Ethan. He steered towards a small hill and hit his nitrous. The Monstruo rocketed off of a hill and jumped onto the back of the Flatbed, knocking Paul and the EDB off and into the jungle.

"Alright, let's get 'em." said Snake.

"I can't get out here." said Ethan as he looked out his window and saw his side of the car was hanging off the side of the truck.

"I'm after him." said Snake. He jumped out and attacked Korpi. Matt went after Darden. Chaos and Snake-Eyes teamed up against Marybeth.

It was about then that the Neutralizer, Quickstrike, and Rigg caught up with the Flatbed.

"Thanks for the intel." said Stalker into his radio. "Sky Captain has been informed of the target's twenty and is on the way."

"Will those guys get out in time?" asked Willow.

"Snake-Eyes can, I hope he helps the rest of them." said Stalker.

Mason pulled alongside the Flatbed again and steered towards him. The wheel blades of the Rigg started to cut into the Flatbed again. Feliz fought back with all his might and Mason pulled away.

"Let's see how he likes it." said Feliz. He steered towards the Rigg to ram it. Mason hit the brakes and the Flatbed completely missed him.

Snake looked at where the truck was going now and saw it was heading for an embankment.

"Get in!" yelled Ethan.

Snake ran for the Monstruo as Ethan threw the car into reverse and floored the accelerator. Snake got in at the last second before itbacked off of the truck.

"Wait for me." said Matt. He jumped for the car as it fell to the road and landed on the hood.

The Flatbed then drove off the road and plowed into an embankment. Chaos and Snake-Eyes were thrown off of the back with Darden and Korpi.

"Okay, no more Mr. Nice Guy." said Darden.

Marybeth roared. She started to attack as well.

"Wait, you hear that?" asked Chaos.

What he heard was the sound of an airplane propellor. Sky Captain was on his way to make an attack run.

"Okay, target is sighted." announced Sky Captain.

"Okay, remember." said Dex. "You only have one shot."

"From the looks of it, there's no way I can miss this thing." said Sky Captain. "Preparing to launch Skat missile."

Sky Captain activated a switch on his control panel and a missile rack extended from the bottom of the Rustler. He lined up Marybeth in his sights and let loose. The missile fired and hit right next to Marybeth's monsterous form.

A cloud of Skat billowed forth from the missile and engulfed Darden, Korpi, and Marybeth. "Ugh, what is this crap?" asked Korpi.

"I don't know, but it makes my eyes burn." said Darden.

Marybeth started to writhe in pain as the Skat went to work on her system. Finally, she collapsed and started to disintegrate.

Chaos and Snake walked away from the battle to find the Boost, Monstruo, and Super Taxi waiting for them.

George was sitting on the hood of the Super Taxi playing his accordian. He sang "I close...my...eyes. Only for a moment and the moment's gone. Dust in the wind. All we are is dust in the wind."

"Thank God that's over with." said Ethan.

"My uncle always said 'When good men stand together, evil is doomed.'" said Bruce.

"And the race may continue." said Gloria.

"Amen." said George.

With that, the Cannonballers returned to their cars and drove off. The Quickstrike and Neutralizer pulled up and parked.

"Snake-Eyes, where's the EDB?" asked Stalker.

Snake-Eyes signed to him that the EDB had been knocked off of the Flatbed in the battle.

"Dag!" said Stalker. "We've got a twenty mile search perimeter."

"I'm not getting the tracking signal either." said Roadblock. "It must've been damaged during the fight."

"Well, I suppose I could help you." said Willow. "In fact, you probably have the support of all of the Cannonballers."

"You know, that would be a good idea." said Stalker. "I look forward to your assitance. So, who wants some Yo Joe Cola?"

Willow and the Joes returned to the tanks as the cloud of Skat started to settle. Darden and Korpi walked into view just as the tanks drove off.

Feliz crawled out of the wreckage of the Flatbed and walked over to Darden and Korpi.

"What happened, you guys?" he asked.

Darden and Korpi just laughed.

XXXXXXXXXX

Team Banzai, the MIBs, and Ghostbusters came up on the monitor at race headquarters.

"We did it." said Brock. "Thanks to your help, the aliens have been defeated."

"Does this mean the race can continue?" asked Louis.

"Of course." said Brock. "The governments of South America have opened their borders following the aliens' defeat. The race will continue."

"There's more." said Mr. X. "We have deemed it necessary to reward you three for your efforts. If you want something, name it."

"I don't know if there's anything we want just yet." said Winston.

"Yeah, can we come back to on that?" asked Peter.

"Mr. X, Mr. Yates, I would like to discus something with you later." said Buckaroo. "It will not violate your restriction this year, but it might make it moot next year."

"Very well." said Brock. "And what about you guys?"

Mulder and the Men In Black were discussing something privately. They then faced Brock.

"Just one thing, Brock." said J. "Is Cool J there?"

"Right here, Agent J." said LL Cool J as he stepped in.

"Yeah, I was wondering if I could do a little duet witcha." said J. "Is that possible, K?"

"Hey, you only live once." said K. "Well, unless you're an Enialcam, that is."

"Hey, no prob." said LL. "Do you have a request?"

"You know 'Just Cruisin''?" asked J.

"Of course." said LL. "Alright, strike it up."

LL and Agent J took to the mic as the music started.

Intro the maestro,
nice flow,
hot like nitro,
cool as ice though.

That type of dichotomy,
y'all know it's got to be.
Who else could it be but me?
Rub your eyes, but hold the big Billy.
It's a dream supreme bean straight from Philly.

It's the eclectic female atractor,
rapper slash actor.
Right back at ya.

And to the next millenium,
many come, but few are chosen.
See me servin' like the U.S. Open.
Another type of hustler listed at Blockbuster,
go and ask a movie usher.

Who is he, he or she,
SFP, movies, CDs, and TVs, but uh uh,
'cause the day I take a break from that,
as a rule where a tank of gas take me at.

I used to rock these red IROC-Zs,
now I rock the MBs, with twelves and V's.
Today, sun up high in the sky,
from NY, la la, me to MI.

Just cruisin'
Where, baby? I don't care.
Just cruisin'
As long as you take me there.
Just cruisin'
Somewhere to clear my mind.
Just cruisin'
Just cruisin'.

Easy wrote a sixty,
flossing ninety degrees.
Sony cartridges, 10 CDs each,
Reach to the beach.
South side leanin'.

It ain't often I'm off and I'm for the top down,
drop down.
Got me hot now, heated up, can't stop now.
What up, cutie, what sure sure is cooking now?

Yo, I know.
I'm spoken for, can't hurt lookin', no?
Pop CDs, B.I.G's, and Tupac's,
while cruisin' on the blocks,
hitting the hot spots.

Got my celly on O-F-F,
Golden arches got my belly going oh yes yes.
So, let's ease on down, ease on down the road.
No pager on my hip,
as I rollin' in my whip.

'Cause today, I'm on the solo creek.
Man, why you think I be workin' all week.

I'm just cruisin'
Where, baby? I don't care.
Just cruisin'
As long as you take me there.
Just cruisin'
Somewhere to clear my mind.
Just cruisin'
Just cruisin'.

Just cruisin'
Where, baby? I don't care.
Just cruisin'
As long as you take me there.
Just cruisin'
Somewhere to clear my mind.
Just cruisin'
Just cruisin'.

Sun setting in the S-K-Y.
Must say I've had the best day, I tryin' to find an exit,
a place to chill, not too hectic,
so I can spend some time with Will,
let the sun shine to the moonlight clearin' my mind.
Soul search, see what I can find.

If I'm being the best lover and friend.
Am I being the best daddy I can?
I pray I am.
And I feel good today.
Reminisce as I'm cruisin' around the way,
roll tight past the park where I used to play.
Can't think of a better way to spend my day.
Uh, still findin' my way.

Still growin,
petrol rowin,
move soon showin.
Gots to get goin', losin' the light.
And the freaks come out at night.

Just cruisin'
Where, baby? I don't care.
Just cruisin'
As long as you take me there.
Just cruisin'
Somewhere to clear my mind.
Just cruisin'
Just cruisin'.

Just cruisin'
Where, baby? I don't care.
Just cruisin'
As long as you take me there.
Just cruisin'
Somewhere to clear my mind.
Just cruisin'
Just cruisin'.

-"Just Cruisin'" by Will Smith

XXXXXXXXXX

Butler drove the Crown Mail onto the bridge to Antarctica.

"Well, as soon as we're halfway across the ocean, the zombies should cease to...unlive, I guess." said Artemis.

"Will we be trying that again?" asked Butler.

"No, definitely not." said Artemis.

"What? Why?" asked J.D. "There were so many possibilities with them."

J.D imagined himself and a group of zombies on stage as a Temptations/Four Tops-style singing group. J.D. started to sing while the zombies moaned.

Back in reality, Artemis continued. "As you saw, the zombies didn't prove to be much help. Apparently, we didn't do the incantation correctly. We were lucky the flaw made them harmless instead of uncontrolable. No, we will not be repeating this mistake."

"Master Fowl wouldn't have made it this far without learning from his mistakes." said Butler.

"And I have learned from this one." said Artemis. "So, on to Antarctica?"

"On to Antarctica." said J.D.

John Parker watched the Crown Mail drive across the bridge on the monitor in his spaceship. He then sat back and said "So what? Big deal."