Alternate/Deleted Scenes
(chapter seven, Mike can't drive)
"D'oh." said Tom.
"Mike, you couldn't outdrive Stevie Wonder." said Crow.
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"D'oh." said Tom.
"Mike, you couldn't outdrive Jackson Pollock." said Crow.
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"D'oh." said Tom.
"Mike, you couldn't outdrive Eliseo Salazar." said Crow.
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"D'oh." said Tom.
"Mike, you couldn't outdrive Toonces." said Crow.
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"D'oh." said Tom.
"Mike, you couldn't outdrive Paris Hilton." said Crow.
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"D'oh." said Tom.
"Mike, you couldn't outdrive a senile ground sloth if the ground sloth were blindfolded and behind the wheel of a Pinto." said Crow.
"What?" asked Mike.
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(chapter eleven, dinner plans)
The Super Taxi drove across the bridge to Dublin. Stanley was driving.
"George, I'm getting hungry." said Stanley. "Can we get something to eat?"
"Yeah, we probably should." said George. "What about you, Kuni?"
"I'm not that hungry, but I could eat." said Kuni.
"So, what's in the mini-fridge?" asked Stanley.
"I know we've got some tuna." said George.
"That went bad a week ago." said Kuni.
"What about the chili?" asked George.
"You finished that yesterday." said Kuni.
"I don't know." said George. "Should we get something delivered?"
"Why would I wanna eat liver?" asked Stanley. "I don't even like liver."
"No, I said 'DElivered'." said George.
"I heard you say 'liver'." said Stanley.
"I should know what I said." said George.
"Whatever." said Stanley. "I just don't want any liver."
"Maybe we should go out somewhere." said George.
"Let me check." said Kuni as he picked up his Dublin travel guide. "How about The Commons?"
"I don't feel like getting all dressed up and eating expensive food." said George.
"How about Gotham Cafe?" asked Kuni.
"Nah, I'm not in the mood." said George.
"Burrito King would make me gassy, there's no doubt." said Stanley.
"Maybe we should forget about it." said Kuni.
"No, I swear I'm gonna take you out." said George. "Wait, I 've got an idea."
"What?" asked Kuni.
"Guess." said George.
"What?" asked Stanley.
"We're going to the drive-thru!" said George.
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(chapter three, cooking competition)
AN:In this alternate scene, Adrian Monk has been chosen as a judge instead of Buckaroo Banzai and Chen was chosen as the chef instead of Kobe.
"And finally, we have Adrian Monk." said Frankie. "A private detective and police consultant from San Francisco. Tell us, Adrian, how does it feel to be here?"
"It feels great." said Monk. "Back in San Francisco, we have our share of excellent restaurants. But here, I can experience some new tastes."
"What's your opinion of chef Kenichi?" asked Frankie.
"He seems very professional." said Monk as Chen stirred a pot of soup. "As I sit here and watch him, I..."
Monk froze when he saw Chen scoop up a ladle of soup, taste it, and stick it back in the pot.
"Mr. Monk?" said Frankie. "Mr. Monk?"
Just then, Michaelangelo walked over, dropped a pizza on the table and said "Tada!" Everyone stared at him in shock. "What? I thought this was a race." he said.
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(chapter eleven, in line at the drive-thru)
After placing their order, Stanley and George pulled slowly up to the window.
George got a little bored, so he turned on the radio. "Black Dog" by Led Zeppelin was playing. George and Stanley started banging their heads in response and playing air guitar.
George looked over his shoulder and noticed Kuni holding his head. He then reached over and turned off the radio.
He and Stanley looked at each other and George said "Uh, I think you've got something in your teeth."
Stanley picked his teeth and asked "Did I get it?"
"Most of it, but don't worry about it." said George.
Stanley picked at his teeth a little more. "How about now?" he asked.
"Well, almost." said George. "There's still a little bit there, but it's probably just a piece of toast."
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(chapter thirteen, Buckaroo enters the fortress via the Eighth Dimension)
The SLF450X exited the Eighth Dimension into the basement of DeMarco's fortress. Buckaroo immediately got on the brakes and managed to stop within the basement. The doors opened and the crew climbed out.
"Where's your guy?" asked Syndey.
"Tony?" yelled Chloe. "Are you here?"
"Yes, I'm here!" yelled Tony as he walked from behind the vehicle. "You almost hit me when you came in!"
"I was not aware you would be here and I apologize." said Buckaroo.
"I swear you're gonna kill me one of these days!" said Tony.
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(chapter eleven, getting the food)
Stanley drove away from the pay window and up to the pickup window. Waiting there was a teenage boy wearing a nametag reading "Hello, my name is Eugene."
"Here's your food." he said as he handed a bag to George.
"Thanks." said George. "Say, could we get some ketchup for our fries?"
Eugene looked at him.
George looked back at Eugene.
Eugene looked at him.
George looked back at him.
Eugene looked at George.
George looked back at him.
"Sorry." said Eugene. "What did you want again?"
"Ketchup." said George.
"Oh yeah, that's right." said Eugene. "I just spaced out there for a second. I'm really kinda burnt tonight."
Eugene handed him the ketchup and they drove away.
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(chapter eight, Nash chews out Joe and Monk)
"Hey!" yelled Nash. "In case you didn't notice, we just got taken out of the race by the guy who's been attacking our fellow Cannonballers! That means there's one less level of protection between the racers and DeMarco's flunkies! They've held their own for now, but how much longer? This is not the time to argue over something trivial like a broken light! Now, both of you babies grow up or the next guy who opens his mouth is going over that railing!"
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(chapter ten, Tanner and Everett drive to U62)
Tanner drove the Mr. Whoopie through the desert. He leaned back in the seat and steered with his feet.
Everett hung out of the door while holding a water pistol and shooting road signs.
Tanner laid across the driver's seat and rolled over.
Everett sat in the footwell and looked dazed.
Tanner let the truck keep going while he hung out of the door.
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(chapter eleven, Marcus and Regis pull someone over)
"(Freeze!)" said Regis. "(Put your hands behind your head!)"
The crooks put their hands behind their head.
"(Stand on one leg!)" said Regis.
Both crooks stood on one leg.
"(Hop around and wiggle your arms like wings!)" said Regis.
Both crooks hopped around while wiggling their arms.
"(Crouch down and do a duck walk!)" said Regis.
Both crooks crouched down and tried to walk like that.
"(Stand back up and do a moon walk!)" said Regis.
Both crooks got back up and did a moon walk.
"(Kick each other in the back of the leg!)" said Regis.
One crook kicked his partner in the back of the leg, then the other did.
Marcus leaned over and whispered something into Regis' ear. "I'm not telling them to do that!" he whispered. Marcus held out his hands to the crooks. Regis reluctantly said "(Sing '99 Luftballoons'!)"
The crooks started to sing.
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(chapter fourteen, the final dash)
AN:These scenes come from the music montage. That's why there's no dialogue.
Mike Nelson raced through New Mexico in the Emu. As he drove, Joel drove alongside him on his recliner. He waved to Joel and Joel waved back. Joel then turned forward and started to gag. He retched a couple of times, then coughed up a fly. Mike looked on in disgust while Joel wiped off his tongue.
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Bugs, Daffy, and Wile E. stopped in Springfield to show off the Crusero. Several Springfielders oohed and ahhed over it. Just then, Jimbo ran over and pointed. In the direction he pointed was the Windsor which now featured a custom body kit, Lexani rims, and heavy-duty speakers mounted on the rear. Dolph and Kearney leaned on it and smiled.
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(chapter five, Lara tries her magic)
"We hope to recruit some of you or all of you to be soldiers in my grand army." said Yuri.
"Actually, we can't stay." said Lara. "We're currently on a little expedition." She started to unzip her jumpsuit with her right hand. "Just let me show you my credentials."
Suddenly, she zipped back up with her left hand. She unzipped with her right hand again, only to zip back up with her left hand again.
"I know these credentials you speak of." said Yuri. "And they are very nice. However, I would prefer not to allow my men to view them because I don't want them distracted. And by the way, that's just me controlling the right side of your brain. You should see how I do with the whole thing."
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(unused musical performances)
LL Cool J took to the stage with Better Than Ezra.
"A little shout out going to the Cannonballers!" said Kevin as he started to play. Tom and Travis joined in quickly. Then, LL started to sing.
Like a four-fifty-four with a four on the floor,
deuce coupe coming at ya. Avoiding the capture.
Far from stock, I'm chopped and ready to rock.
In the city of steel, catch me cruisin' down the block.
Whenever days are difficult, I'm out on my own.
Drive an '86 Jetta, but I hope I could do better.
But my car keeps me humble in the concrete jungle.
Despite the wear and tear, it seems to always get me there.
Rebuilt the motor because she decided to blow.
And what do you know? Someone stole my stereo.
When it's time to go, I put my foot on the floor.
Let the diesel do the work, I ain't complaining no more.
Highways and straightaways, off-roads and open roads.
No matter where I go, I still be making the show.
It's kinda like life and life treats you good.
It's not what's on the outside, it's what's under the hood.
Put the pedal to the metal and I'm off and never getting lost.
Which way will I turn when roads cross?
Press the pedal to the metal little more when it's scary.
But one thing for sure, keep my foot on the floor.
Put the pedal to the metal and I'm off and never getting lost.
Which way will I turn when roads cross?
Press the pedal to the metal little more when it's scary.
But one thing for sure, keep my foot on the floor.
It doesn't matter what you drive, it's like you drive what you got.
Discipline, you can win. Just let the tire spin.
And begin the journey of life with each stride.
Meet me on the other side. Let me know when you arrive.
Sometimes, we can live. Be sure that you're insured.
Got a backup plan, and in with the program.
Who I am doesn't reflect material wealth.
My vehicle approaches. Stealth.
Put the pedal to the metal and I'm off and never getting lost.
Which way will I turn when roads cross?
Press the pedal to the metal little more when it's scary.
But one thing for sure, keep my foot to the floor.
Kevin took over singing for a second.
Won't stop drivin' 'til it's over.
Still be cruisin' when the sun goes down.
Won't stop drivin' 'til it's over.
Still be cruisin' when the sun goes down.
LL got back on the mic.
Put the pedal to the metal and I'm off and never getting lost.
Which way will I turn when roads cross?
Press the pedal to the metal little more when it's scary.
But one thing for sure, keep my foot on the floor.
Put the pedal to the metal and I'm off and never getting lost.
Which way will I turn when roads cross?
Press the pedal to the metal little more when it's scary.
But one thing for sure, keep my foot on the floor.
Put the pedal to the metal and I'm off.
Put the pedal to the metal and I'm off.
Pedal to the metal and I'm off.
-"Pedal To The Metal" by Kazzer.
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Lenny Kravitz was on stage with Brad Turner. Lenny called out "I am!"
A drummer started pounding away. Lenny and Brad alternated strumming their guitars in a manner to simulate revving engines. Then, Lenny started to sing.
You will recover when you discover, baby.
There is no other when you recover, baby.
And when the mood is right,
you'll get it every night.
Go on and play it like,
you're on the other side.
You're beautiful.
It's all or me.
You're beautiful.
It's me.
I will. (I will)
Let you. (Let you)
I will let you down.
Into another, don't run for cover, baby.
There is no other into another, baby.
And when the time is right,
I got you in my sight.
I'll reach into your life,
and look around inside.
You're beautiful.
It's all or me.
You're beautiful.
It's me.
I will. (I will)
Let you. (Let you)
I will let you down.
I will. (I will)
Let you. (Let you)
I will let you down.
You're beautiful.
It's all or me.
You're beautiful.
It's me.
I will. (I will)
Let you. (Let you)
I will let you down.
I will. (I will)
Let you. (Let you)
I will let you down.
I will.
Let you.
I will.
Let you.
I will.
Let you.
I will.
Let you.
Down.
-"RPM" by Sugar Ray.
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Meat Loaf was on stage with Sheryl Crow. He started to play on his guitar. When the entire band was playing, he started to sing.
I remember every little thing,
like it happened only yesterday.
Parking by the lake,
and there was not another car in sight.
And I never had a girl,
looking any better than you did.
And all the kids at school,
they were wishing they were me that night.
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight.
It never felt so good, it never felt so right.
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife.
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife.
C'mon. Hold on tight.
C'mon. Hold on tight.
They slowed down a little.
Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night,
I can see paradise by the dashboard light.
The band picked it back up. Sheryl took over singing.
Ain't no doubt about it,
we were doubly blessed.
'Cause we were barely seventeen,
and we were barely dressed.
Ain't no doubt about it.
Baby, got to go and shout it.
Ain't no doubt about it,
we were doubly blessed.
Meat took over vocals again.
'Cause we were barely seventeen,
and we were barely dressed.
Baby, doncha hear my heart?
You got it drowning out the radio.
I've been waiting so long,
for you to come along and have some fun.
And I gotta let you know.
No, you're never gonna regret it.
So, open up your eyes, I got a big surprise.
It'll feel alright.
Well, I wanna make your motor run.
And now our bodies are oh so close and tight.
It never felt so good, it never felt so right.
And we're glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife.
Glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife.
C'mon. Hold on tight.
C'mon. Hold on tight.
Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night,
I can see paradise by the dashboard light.
Oh, it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night.
Paradise by the dashboard light.
You got to do what you can,
and let Mother Nature do the rest.
Ain't no doubt about it,
we were doubly blessed.
'Cause we were barely seventeen,
and we were barely...
The band suddenly sped up.
We're gonna go all the way tonight.
We're gonna go all the way.
Tonight's the night.
We're gonna go all the way tonight.
We're gonna go all the way.
Tonight's the night.
We're gonna go all the way tonight.
We're gonna go all the way.
Tonight's the night.
We're gonna go all the way tonight.
We're gonna go all the way.
Tonight's the night.
Meat and Sheryl stepped back and just played. Big Schwag stepped in.
"Okay, here we go!" he said. "We got a real pressure cooker going here. Two down, nobody on, no score, bottom of the ninth.
"There's the wind-up, and there it is, a line shot up the middle. Look at him go! This boy can really fly!
"He's rounding first and really turning it on now. He's not letting up at all. He's gonna try for second. The ball is bobbled out in center and here comes the throw. And what a throw!
"He's gonna slide in head first. Here he comes, he's out! No, wait. Safe, safe at second base. This kid really makes things happen out there.
"Batter steps up to the plate. Here's the pitch. He's going and what a jump he's got! He's trying for third. Here's the throw. It's in the dirt, safe at third! Holy cow! Stolen base!
"He's taking a pretty big lead out there, almost daring him to try and pick him off. The pitcher glances over, winds up, and it's bunted. Bunted down the third base line, the suicide squeeze is on! Here he comes, squeeze play. It's gonna be close.
"Here's the throw, there's the play at the plate! You gotta be kidding me! I think he's gonna make it!"
Sheryl then got back into singing.
Stop right there!
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
I gotta know right now,
before we go any further.
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Meat Loaf went back to singing.
Let me sleep on it.
Baby, baby, let me sleep on it.
Let me sleep on it.
I'll give you my answer in the morning.
Let me sleep on it.
Baby, baby, let me sleep on it.
Let me sleep on it.
I'll give you my answer in the morning.
Let me sleep on it.
Baby, baby, let me sleep on it.
Let me sleep on it.
I'll give you my answer in the morning.
Sheryl took over singing again.
I gotta know right now!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
I gotta know right now.
Before we go any further.
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
What's it gonna be, boy?
Come on.
I can wait all night.
What's it gonna be, boy?
Yes or no?
What's it gonna be, boy?
YES or NO?
Meat went back to singing.
Let me sleep on it.
Baby, baby, let me sleep on it.
Let me sleep on it.
I'll give you an answer in the morning.
Sheryl sang I gotta know right now!
Do you love me?
Meat sang Let me sleep on it.
Sheryl sang Will you love me forever?
Meat sang Baby, baby, let me sleep on it.
Sheryl sang Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Meat sang Let me sleep on it.
Sheryl sang Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Meat sang Let me sleep on it.
I'll give you my answer in the morning!
Morning!
I'll tell you in the morning!
Sheryl sang Will you take me away? Will you make me your wife?
I gotta know right now.
Before we go any further.
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Meat sang Let me sleep on it.
Sheryl sang Will you love me forever?
Meat sang Let me sleep on it.
Sheryl sang Will you love me forever?
Meat returned to main vocals.
I couldn't take any longer.
Lord, I was crazed.
And when the feeling came upon me,
like a tidal wave.
I started swearing to my God and on my mother's grave,
that I would love you 'til the end of time.
I swore that I would love you 'til the time.
So, now I'm praying for the end of time,
to hurry up and arrive.
'Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you,
I don't think that I could really survive.
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow,
but God only knows what I can do right now.
I'm praying for the end of time.
It's all that I can do.
Praying for the end of time,
so I can end my time with you.
The band started to wind down.
It was long ago and it was far away.
And it was so much better than it is today.
Sheryl took one last turn on vocals.
It never felt so good.
It never felt so right.
And we were glowing like,
the metal on the edge of a knife.
-"Paradise By The Dashboard Light" by Meat Loaf.
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(chapter fourteen, alternate wins)
(Team Rocket wins. No, really.)
Jessie, James, Meowth, Annie, and Oakley ran out of the crowd and made their way to the finish.
They punched their time card in the clock and faced Phil.
"Team Rocket?" he said. "After seven continents, six weeks, and over one hundred thousand miles, you are the official winners of the Cannonball Run."
The members of Team Rocket all let out a loud cheer.
"I have to say this is a very unexpected victory for you." said Phil.
"Thank you." said Jessie. "Thank you."
The members of Team Rocket walked away.
"I can't believe we finally won this thing!" said James.
"It was bound to happen sometime." said Meowth.
"Just remember who joined this team this time." said Annie.
"Hey, look at those birds." said Oakley. "What kind of birds are those?"
Jessie looked up. "Those aren't birds!" she said. "Those are pigs!"
(Okay, this was more of an indication of Team Rocket's chances of winning than an actual possible win for them.)
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(Charlie's Angels/Wayne's World team wins)
Dylan, Natalie, Alex, Wayne, and Garth ran out of the crowd and made their way to the finish line.
"Oh no." said Phil.
"What's wrong?" asked Schwag.
"Look who it is." said Phil.
The team ran up to Phil and stopped.
"Dylan, Natalie, Alex, Wayne, and Garth," said Phil solemnly "you're the first team to arrive."
The team members started to cheer.
"Excellent!" yelled Wayne and Garth.
"Unfortunately," continued Phil "we have since discovered that the organization that runs the Cannonball also owns the television station that airs 'Wayne's World'. I'm sorry to tell you we have to disqualify you due to a conflict of interest."
"You idiots!" said Dylan.
"You just cost us the race!" said Alex.
"Sorry." said Wayne. "We didn't know that."
"After all we did, it all came to nothing." said Natalie.
"Don't worry, we can always try again next year." said Garth.
"Brock, can I have a word with you?" asked Mr. X.
"What? What's wrong?" asked Brock.
"Due to Wayne and Garth not being able to put on their show," said Mr. X "the television station in Aurora, Illinois suffered a severe downturn in ratings and were forced to close down as a result. Unfortunately, this has caused us a terrible financial blow and I'm afraid we'll be unable to run the Cannonball next year...or ever again."
"Oh, that's really horrible news." said Brock. "Well, I'll make the announcement to the racers. This is not going to go over well."
"This is so unbelievable!" said Dylan as she stormed off.
"No." said Wayne.
"This was a complete waste." said Natalie.
"Come on." said Wayne.
"Charlie is going to be mad." said Alex.
"Don't go." said Wayne. "Well, I guess it's just you and me, Garth."
Wayne turned to see Garth climbing over the fence at the lip of the canyon.
"Garth?" said Wayne. "Garth, no!"
Wayne ran over to get him, but Garth jumped into the canyon and landed with a loud crunch. Wayne ran over to the fence and looked in to see Garth's twisted corpse laying on a ledge thirty feet down.
"Garth!" yelled Wayne as laid his head down on the railing and cried.
Wayne rested his head on the rail and cried for a few seconds. Then, Garth walked over and said "Now, wasn't that just a really sucky way to end the story?"
"Right you are, Garth." said Wayne as he suddenly stopped crying and looked up. "Now, let's do the super ultra-happy ending."
They wiggled their fingers while chanting "Diddle-da. Diddle-da. Diddle-da."
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Dylan, Natalie, Alex, Wayne, and Garth ran up to the finish line.
"Team Angels," said Phil "after seven continents, you guys are the official winners of the Cannonball Run!"
Natalie screamed. Dylan and Alex high-fived each other. Wayne winked into the camera and said "Excellent."
"After a miracle finish like that, it's pretty good that there wasn't a conflict of interest or something." said Phil.
"You're right about that." said Garth.
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(Team Fowl wins)
Aretmis, Butler, and J.D. ran out of the crowd and made their way to the time clock.
"Artemis Fowl?" asked Phil. "Congratulations, you are now the official winners of the Cannonball Run."
"Yeah!" yelled J.D.
Butler laughed and Artemis rubbed his fingernails on his coat. "Was there any doubt?" he asked.
Hours later, the post-race party was in full swing. A race official ran up to them and said "Dr. Dorian, there's a man here to see you."
"Okay, I know what this is about." said J.D.
He walked over to the man. It turned out to be Dr. Cox.
"Why hello, Dr. Cox." said J.D. "As you can see, the team I was on has pulled off an amazing feat and taken the number one spot. So, I guess I'm not so incompetant after all."
"Yes, I see." said Dr. Cox. "Congratulations, Emily. By the way, your medical school called. Something about your student loans and a buttload of interest."
"Well, I've got money now, so I'll pay." said J.D.
"Hope you managed to get yourself a lot of cash because you'll recall the 'buttload of interest'." said Dr. Cox.
He handed a slip of paper to J.D. It said that the interest on J.D's student loans was eighty million dollars.
J.D. looked at Dr. Cox and thought "When is this daydream going to end?"
"By the way, Becky." said Dr. Cox. "This is not one of your daydreams. That is a real bill."
"Okay." said J.D. nervously.
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(Team MST3K wins...almost)
"Wait, someone's coming!" said Frankie.
The Emu raced down the access road.
"It's the Emu!" yelled Schwag. "Mike Nelson and Team Satellite of Love are heading for a win!"
"Mike, it's the finish line!" yelled Tom.
"We're first!" yelled Crow.
"Yay!" cheered Gypsy.
"We're going to win!" cheered Mike. "We're going to win!"
The Emu continued to race for the finish line.
"Ladies and gentlemen, get a good look at these guys!" said Frankie. "Say 'hello' to what looks to be the winners of the Cannonball Run!"
"They're here and ready to claim victory!" yelled Schwag. "Here they come! Here they come!"
The Emu raced up to the finish. But just as it was about to cross the finish line...
POP!
...and the car was gone.
"YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" bellowed Schwag.
"Schwag, what happened?!" yelled Frankie. "The Emu just vanished!"
Somewhere else, the Emu was embedded in a wall.
Mike pulled his face out of the deflating airbag and said "That's not exactly what I thought winning would feel like."
"Where's my head?" asked Tom as he looked for his gumball machine dome, which was missing.
"Mike, we're on the Satellite!" said Crow.
"What? How?" asked Mike as he looked around.
The Hexfield viewscreen opened. Pearl was on it. "Hello, Nelson, Crow, Ichabod Crane." she said. "Did you really think we wouldn't check the wreckage of the escape pod to see if we could salvage your remains? Nice try."
"Yeah, I thought so." said Mike.
"Anyway, we started looking for evidence as to where you might have gone." said Pearl. "We started to come up dry until Bobo started watching the Cannonball coverage and guess who we saw?"
"Ooh! Ooh! Us?" said Crow.
"That's correct." said Pearl. "We thought it would be funnier if we waited until you were just about to finish before bringing you home, so welcome back."
Mike rested his head on the steering wheel and cried.
"Oh, and to make sure you don't try that again, Brain Guy?" said Pearl.
The Observer concentrated on them. Suddenly, the Emu disappeared and Mike and the 'bots landed on the floor.
"I found my head!" said Tom.
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(Marcus and Regis win)
"Doesn't look like anyone's getting out of that soon." said Frankie.
"I can't believe you did that!" yelled Regis as he and Marcus trudged up the trail from the canyon.
"Well, I wouldn't have driven into the river if that little brat hadn't directed me to it!" yelled Marcus.
"I don't care!" yelled Regis. "You should have known better than to listen to a kid!"
The two stormed up to Phil.
"Hello, Phil!" said Marcus. "We're finally here!"
"Go ahead, tell us the bad news!" said Regis.
"Marcus and Regis," said Phil "if you will just insert your time card in the clock, you will be deemed the official winners of the Cannonball Run."
Marcus and Regis looked at him in shock. "What was that?" asked Marcus.
"Punch the clock! Go!" said David.
Regis ran over and jammed their time card into the clock. Then, he and Marcus high-fived each other.
"Truce?" asked Marcus.
"Truce." said Regis. "Let's blow the prize money on drinks."
XXXXXXXXXX
(Super Dave wins)
While the Cannonballers were trying to sort out the crowd that they were in, Super Dave drove up on the opposite side of the canyon.
"Great, I'm on the wrong side of the canyon." said Super Dave. "How did that happen?"
"Super, they appear to be stuck somehow." said Fuji.
"I think you're right, Fuji." said Super Dave. "But there's too much chance they're going to figure something out before we manage to navigate our way over there."
"And if they don't, we'll get stuck as well." said Fuji. "We need a different plan."
"Fuji, do you think we can make a jump over the canyon right now?" asked Super Dave.
"I think it's possible, if we use all of our remaining nitrous." said Fuji.
"Okay, Fuji." said Super Dave. "Seeing as I'm a trained professional, I can't ask you to risk your life doing this."
"Nice running with you, Super." said Fuji as he climbed out.
Super Dave turned around and drove to the entrance. He then turned around and floored the accelerator. Fuji raised his hand and surveyed the launch road. When Super Dave reached a certain point, Fuji dropped his hand and Super Dave hit his nitrous.
The Alarde rocketed down the road and launched off a rock. The car flew over the canyon towards the finish.
"Looks like I'm going to make it." said Super Dave. "Nice work, Fuji."
Suddenly, someone parked a car in Super Dave's landing area.
"Oh no!" yelled Super Dave.
The someone ran from the car a couple of seconds before the Alarde crashed into it and went tumbling across the parking lot.
"Record pain!" yelled Super Dave.
"Ooh!" groaned David.
"I guess that's why they clear their landing areas first." said Frankie.
The Alarde ricocheted off of a truck and slid across the finish line on its roof. Schwag grabbed the time clock and carried it to the overturned car. Super Dave slipped his hand out of the window and punched his card in the clock.
Phil ran over to the wrecked Lotus. "Super Dave Osbourne?" he said. "I am happy to tell you that you are now the official winner of the Cannonball Run."
"Sensational." said Super Dave. "Put it on my medical chart."
"As the winner, you have successfully won the sum of two-hundred, fifty million dollars." said Phil.
"Great." said Super Dave. "Give half of it to Fuji, bury me with the rest."
Later...
A taxi pulled up to the finish line and Fuji climbed out. He ran over to Schwag and asked "Where's Super?"
"Right over there." said Schwag as he pointed.
"Thank you." said Fuji.
He ran over to where Schwag pointed.
"Never seen it this bad before." said one man.
"Survival doesn't look likely." said another.
"What?" asked a now worried Fuji. He ran over and saw the men were looking at the mangled Alarde.
"I'm over here, Fuji." said Super Dave. He was strapped to a stretcher which was being loaded into a waiting ambulance.
"Oh, Super." said Fuji. "I'm so glad to see you're alive."
"This is living?" asked Super Dave. "By the way, Fuji, good work with that impromptu canyon jump. The good news is we're the official winners."
"Really?" asked Fuji. "I knew we could do it!"
"The bad news is that most of the prize is going towards my medical bills." said Super Dave.
"Ooh." said Fuji.