Visiting Hogwarts

The following Sunday dawned cold and bright, and Severus was awake early. He propped himself up on one elbow and gazed at his sleeping wife. The past days had been painful for her and agonizing to watch. She'd forced herself to go to work the morning after more memories began returning, but she was taut and pale when she came home, and still cried easily.

Her eyes were still swollen, although her nightmare was hours past, he thought. Perhaps it was too much for her to come to Hogwarts so soon, but she was stubbornly insistent, so they would try it.

"Zelda," he murmured, gathering her into his arms and kissing her softly. "Wake up, my girl."

Her lips curved into a smile and she put her arms around his neck without opening her eyes. "Good morning, husband."

"Ah, sweetheart," he said, examining her closely. "How are you feeling?"

She opened her eyes at last. "I need time to catch up with my memories. It's the emotions. I remember you leaving and returning, then all the emotions boil up and I feel such grief that it hurts."

"You'll be fine," he replied. "Are you sure it's wise to come to Hogwarts today?"

"I remember more now," she said. "It was wonderful being there with you. But I hope you won't put me under the Imperius Curse again," she added lightly.

His face flushed with shame and he moved his head to let his hair fall forward. "Never," he declared. "I wish you hadn't remembered that."

"I asked you to do it," she reminded him. "Now I don't need another reminder of what magic can do."

"I shall be at the staff meeting for only about an hour. But you'll be alone during that time."

Zelda brushed back his lank hair and looked into his worried eyes ruefully. He was so patient and loving, she hated to see him upset. "You worry too much. You said remembering would be hard and you're right. But I'm not insane yet, am I?"

She kissed his nose. "If we go early, will there be time to reacquaint ourselves with your bed?"

He wrapped his arms and legs firmly around her soft, warm body and squeezed her. "I suppose I can wait until then," he said with a slight scowl.

"Where are the robes I had?" she asked. "In case someone sees me…"

"All at the cabin, so we'll go there first," he said. "Take your shower while I make coffee."

She squeezed him, running her hands down his back in a teasing way, and sighed. "My life's been one long-delayed gratification." She kissed his chest and reluctantly climbed out of their embrace.

"Coffee in ten minutes," he murmured as she headed for the bathroom.

He stayed in bed, a guilty smirk on his thin lips. It was reprehensible, since her happiness was essential, but Zelda's present vulnerability excited him madly. She was right about him, he thought wickedly. She'd married a control freak, and one who adored her. Her equilibrium would return as her mind stabilized, but right now… Severus was dominant in his marriage to a sweet woman who loved him madly. He let his hand stray meditatively downward, feeling smug, masterful and utterly evil.

After her shower, Zelda pondered what to wear. She vaguely remembered wearing witch's robes, but it was cold now, so she'd want more underneath. She found some thick, soft winter tights, slipped a long, green wool dress on and put on her black leather boots. As she left the bedroom, the aroma of fresh coffee assailed her nose.

Mmm, yummy," she said happily, as Severus thrust a mug of hot coffee at her. She sipped gratefully.

"Breakfast?" he offered, pulling out her chair and seating her with a flourish.

"You take care of me as if I'm a helpless little wife," she said, gazing knowingly at him as she picked up her napkin.

He brought two plates with omelettes and toast, and sat down across from her. He wondered if she knew how deep the need to possess her ran. His black eyes met hers and tentatively, he showed her how powerfully exciting he found this situation.

She inhaled sharply when he offered his recent, wicked self-revelation. "Severus!" she exclaimed, shocked at his defiant openness. She blushed, irritated and disarmed all at once. Her stiff-necked, repressed husband had as many layers as an onion, and was completely willing to show her things about himself that she'd never imagined a man admitting to his wife. It was incredibly, terrifyingly endearing.

"Eat, my girl," he commanded in a low voice. "I have plans for you."

She studied him, realizing ironically that she'd better keep up her strength. She began to eat, looking up at him from under her eyelashes.

"Have you ever heard of feminism?" she asked, trying to quell the riotous laughter bubbling up in her. This marriage might turn all her previous notions of relationships inside out, she thought.

"My education on these matters was sketchy," he purred. "I look forward to having you enlighten me."

"Goddess help me," she whispered, unable to contain her laughter any longer.

"I'll consider that your concession," he said. His eyes gleamed with wicked amusement.

"Severus!" she said. "Seriously, you can play the clever dominator, but what if I don't want to play this role, at some point? Would you want to submit to me?"

His eyes narrowed speculatively as he imagined submitting to her, ceding power, as he wanted her to do. It would be virtually impossible and he showed her his thought honestly.

"What if I want us to simply respect each other?" she asked in mock despair.

His rare laugh startled her. "Sweet idiot, can you believe I do not respect you?"

Zelda rolled her eyes and smiled wryly. "I know you do, but I need to get used to being constantly toyed with, my dear master of games."

His black eyes bored into hers challengingly. "I respect you, Mrs. Snape, and you know it," he murmured softly.

"I know," she replied. "But I can't do magic and I still can't remember a lot, which makes me feel completely helpless. I want to cling to you for dear life, Sev, and that fact creeps me out. "

"Trust your husband, little one," he murmured seductively. "Clinging is very welcome."

She gave him a cynical frown. "Not for long. You'll get bored having a leech stuck to you."

Severus downed the last of his coffee and, dropping the act, said slowly, "When I was injured and helpless, pathetic, in fact, you cared for me. I had no control during those first days with you, and although it terrified me, I learned to trust you."

Zelda ate a few more bites, chewing thoughtfully. He was right, she realized, but since her previous marriage was so rotten, she'd have work to do, learning to trust and believe him. Glancing up at him, she set her napkin aside and slowly walked around to him.

Severus pushed his chair back away from the table, put out a hand, pulled her close and waited.

"Okay, temporary concession," she murmured, sinking down into his lap and gazing into his eyes. She blushed at the feelings she saw there and the way he made her feel. "You needn't be so smug about it," she suggested, leaning her head against his shoulder confidingly.

He wanted to go, to have her dress in her robes and come with him to Hogwarts so he could imagine what it would be like to have everything the way he wanted it. It seemed an unlikely prospect, to have Hogwarts and Zelda. But for a few hours he would pretend.

"Feed the pets, darling, and we'll leave," he said, stroking her hair.

Severus tidied the house magically whilst she tended the cats and said a loving farewell to Rowena. When she finished, he held out his arms to her and they Apparated away.

&&&&&&&&&

It was a biting cold afternoon with snow falling, as they approached the gates of Hogwarts.

"I'm glad we don't have to go through the passage from the Shrieking Shack again," she confided.

He looked at her curiously. "Why?"

"I probably never mentioned that I have a touch of claustrophobia," she muttered. "If you'd let go of my hand while we were down there, I'd have fallen apart."

"You should have told me," he said.

"I need to face my irrational fears," she said. "Besides, you didn't let go, so I made it."

"You have enough to face right now, after being Obliviated. Please tell me if something frightens you."

Severus studied his wife. She wore robes the color of the sky at twilight, with her midnight blue cloak fastened snugly over. The black top hat she'd acquired the previous summer had soft curls peeking out underneath it, and he thought she was utterly adorable. Absently, he sent his Patronus into the school grounds before raising her hand to his lips and kissing it. The sound of approaching footsteps made him tuck her hand into his arm and face the gates.

"Good afternoon, Hagrid," he said as the half-giant appeared.

"Afternoon," he replied, his eyes twinkling as he saw who accompanied Severus. "Zelda! It's good ter see yeh. Can yeh remember everything yet?"

"Hello, Hagrid," she replied, smiling up at him. "I remember meeting you, but I'm still missing weeks of memories. Just an odd image, here and there, pops into my head. You look well, however."

She held her hand up to shake his huge one, and he took it carefully, as though he feared she would break.

Severus looked warningly at Hagrid, not wanting him to say too much. "I shall see you at the staff meeting tonight, Hagrid, but we must go now."

"Yeah, I got lots to do before then. One o' the young Thestrals is limpin', so I'll be headin' fer th' Forest to see what I can do fer her."

He headed back the way he'd come from, covering ground rapidly with his large strides.

Severus put an arm around Zelda and began walking toward the castle. "I'd like to tell Hagrid we're married," he said softly.

"But the kids say he can't keep a secret," she said wonderingly.

"Hagrid has kept many secrets for Dumbledore. He's a canny fellow. I trust him to keep this secret until the time is right, and if you ever need help when I am not with you, he will help you," Severus said confidently.

"It's your world, Professor. Do what you think's right," she said, squeezing him around his narrow waist.

They entered the small dungeon door, which opened into the corridor near Severus's office. But instead of going toward the office, they turned down a dark, narrow corridor that was not observable until one was next to it. It was very short, with one wide, heavy-looking wooden door at the end. Severus pointed his wand at the door and it opened to them.

The entrance hallway was long and surprisingly wide, thought Zelda. It didn't seem familiar, but when they passed into the huge, dim sitting room, she smiled tentatively.

"You don't believe in cluttering a place up, do you?" she asked ironically. "Like with furniture, I mean…"

"I've never entertained," he replied sardonically. "This has always been adequate."

"My house must be horridly small and stifling to you, after all this space," she said sadly, looking at the huge hearth where a fire burned brightly.

"Your house is the place I've been happiest in," he said. "Please change anything you like here. I want you to feel comfortable here, my girl."

"I remember it now," she murmured suddenly, heading for the bedroom. The room itself was also huge. The furniture consisted of a massive wardrobe, a huge, ancient bed and one sturdy wooden chair. Yet the room looked very inviting. The bed was covered with comfy looking pillows and a plump comforter, and there was a fire in the small hearth.

"I detect intruders," he said, knowing the bed had not looked so inviting the last time. He watched his wife approach the bed, where a piece of parchment lay.

Dear Severus,

I'm quite sure that you won't be alone the next time you enter this room. I took the liberty of asking Dobby to dust and freshen the place up a bit for you. Give my love to Mrs. Snape.

Molly Weasley

Zelda laughed. "She has the right priorities, doesn't she?"

"Indeed," he murmured. "Come see the rest, before I take you to bed and remind you that you're married. In case you've forgotten."

He showed her the bathroom, also old and large, with a generous size bath that made her smile. Then he led her out of his bedroom and through the huge sitting room, to a doorway leading to another, smaller room which was completely empty. The remarkable feature of it was that besides the covered windows, there were two large, grimy skylights that let a bit of dim light filter through the dirt.

"Nice," she said, smirking at him.

Finally there was another bedroom, which looked as though it had not been touched in decades, with a smaller, dusty bathroom.

"All this for one simple Head of House," she murmured nervously. "Do you mind if I clean up a bit? If a spider crawls out of here that matches the size of that web, I'll die of fright."

"So timid and girlish," he murmured mockingly, pinching her bum and smirking at her irritable glare.

"I've never told my students, but I'm terrified of big, creepy insects," she said reluctantly. "Now you can despise me for acting like a stupid girl."

"I adore you. Since this is the end of our tour, come back to our bedroom. Molly's kind gesture mustn't be wasted."

&&&&&&&&&

Zelda woke slowly, with no idea where she was. But Severus was there, so it must be okay. Her husband was snoring with his mouth against her nipple, which he mouthed occasionally in his sleep. Her eyes came into focus as she stroked his black hair and looking around her, she remembered she was at Hogwarts.

Her mind drifted back to the morning, pondering what he had told her. He knew she was bossy and opinionated, and understood the depth of her insecurities. He was tough and relentlessly demanding of his students, yet he'd gladly indulge her fears and her dependence on him. His frankness, showing her how he was deeply aroused by being the stronger one, shocked her. Yet…

I trust him, she thought. I think it'll be okay.

She kept stroking his hair, smiling at his need of her. She loved these rare moments when he was so vulnerable. A ghost of an idea came to her. He wanted her to heal from the past, but perhaps he needed to feel needed. Marriage was new to him, but it was an odd, indirect thing, to propose a game.

But they'd be all right, she believed. Reassured, she realized that all of it had caused heat to kindle low down in her belly, and laughed to herself. Wanting him to rest, she remained resolutely still, warming to the idea of playing his absurd game.

&&&&&&&&&

Severus woke some time later. The dim light and the feel of the bed told him he was home, at Hogwarts. The warm, softness next to him was Zelda, and having her in his bed made him admit that if he could choose the rest of his life, he wanted this. A place at the school he knew and loved, but happy, as he had never been before, with his wife at his side.

The other time he'd had her in his bed had been rushed and their minds filled with sorrow and fear that they would have no future. Now, he stretched luxuriantly, letting the sensation of being home at last fill him.

He allowed his thoughts to wander back to his miserable past, despised by his fellow students. He still he recalled the bloody Marauders with bitterness. They'd defined what was cool in their day, and he realized bitterly he'd let them define him, even to himself. On the day Zelda came to him, he still believed he was hideous and unworthy of love. His mind, his magical power and abilities had never convinced him that a woman could love him.

Now, Potter and Black were the past, and perhaps he might someday feel pity for them. They'd wasted everything, he thought, through their arrogant belief that they knew better than Albus Dumbledore. James paid with his own life for trusting Black and the rat, but Lily died too, leaving their son orphaned.

Of course, he too would carry his guilt for the rest of his life, but he had his life to live. He pressed his face into his wife's hair and breathed in her scent. She knew his guilt and accepted him, loving him dearly in spite of his past. He was very lucky.

"Severus," she sighed, rolling over and opening lazy blue eyes. She smiled blissfully. "I didn't have a nightmare. I feel so good."

He tucked the heavy comforter over her shoulder and then moved his own body closer to her. "We have several more hours before I must attend the staff meeting. What would you like to do?"

She slowly stretched every inch of her body, delicately allowing her erect nipples to brush against his. "We should have tea with Harry and his friends," she suggested innocently. "Maybe invite lots more people and have a humongous party."

She reached down and rubbed her hand against his belly, enjoying the feel of that black hair. Then she looked hopefully up at him. "Do you have any better ideas?"

"Impudent brat!" he snapped, his eyes narrowing in mock displeasure. Merlin, what fun she is, he thought appreciatively.

"No parties for you, Mrs. Snape, until you've shown me your priorities are in order," he hissed.

Pouting because she knew it would amuse him; she kissed his nose, then his stern lips, which did not yield to her. Challenged, she aggressively began working to convince him. She kissed his chin, and began kissing his neck, nipping his ear on her way to the sensitive skin behind it.

Severus smirked wickedly, knowing she couldn't see it. That persuasive mouth had undoubtedly marked his neck, he thought smugly, and now was making his chest tingle. She reached his right nipple and bit firmly, them began to suck at him. A groan escaped him, and he felt her delighted giggle, but she kept going, slowly, persistently attending to his every sensitive area.

After the inevitable had occurred again, they shared one pillow, smiling into each other's eyes.

"Well? Did I pass?" she asked curiously.

"Ah, yes, your priorities are in excellent order," he replied, recalling certain little gestures that still made him warm in places. "Sadly, though, there's no longer enough time to organize a party."

"That's okay. You'd probably have to put clothes on if we had guests, and I think you're perfect au naturel." Her caressing hands moved from his back to his chest and she ran them greedily over his hard pectoral muscles. "So sexy, Sev," she murmured as she kissed his neck.

He sighed softly; wondering if this was what a cat felt when it was being stroked. For so long he'd kept himself alone, not known a lover's touch, and now at times it was almost too much. He thought he might lose himself completely in this tenderness he felt with her. Perhaps for a short time though…

An hour later a flash of white light woke him and a Patronus message came to him. He started once and his jaw clenched. He then lay motionless, conquering his irritation. He could not believe it would come to this, that Minerva would suggest that students invade his quarters.

Reluctantly he realized that his blissful interlude was over and he must deal with reality. Zelda was still fragile, with volatile emotions and flashes of memory returning randomly. Perhaps if the Gryffindor brats stayed with her she'd feel safe. It was fortunate, he thought, that she adored her husband so completely, because knowing this, he could even forgive her foul affection for Potter and pals.