"What are you doing, Bella?" Edward asked me. He was standing behind me, with his pale hands on the back of my chair. His chin was resting on the top of my head, and I could feel his cool breath on my skin. Every few seconds, I could feel him place butterfly kisses across my scalp.
I had wanted to write to Jacob for weeks now, and had put it off because I had worried about Edward's reaction when I told him I needed to communicate with my friend. I wondered whether it would just be easier to lie, but as soon as that thought passed my mind, I dismissed it. There were no secrets in love, and Edward was a big boy now. He could handle it.
"I'm writing to Jacob," I muttered.
"Ah," was all Edward said in reply.
I turned in the chair to look at him, and he was smiling vaguely. "Ask after his health from me," he said. "I'll be downstairs."
I nodded and he left the room. As soon as I heard his footsteps on the stairs, I let out a breath. Edward hadn't even minded. If I could possibly love him even more, I did now. I dipped my pen in the ink and began to write.
Dear Jacob,
I am breaking promises by sending you this letter. I swore to myself that I wouldn't hurt you any more, and I made likewise promises to Edward. But I thought maybe you would like to hear from me- as much as I have been wishing for word from you.
We are in England now, with the rest of the family. I know it will hurt you to read this, but I had a beautiful wedding and I was changed the day after. This is one reason why it is probably better we keep up a long distance relationship- we probably wouldn't be able to stand the smell of each other now!
Since I was changed, I have found it 'challenging' to restrain myself from human blood, but knowing that by taking someone's life that you are also destroying their dreams and hopes, and taking them away from their loved ones, it is not so hard. Edward never lets me step a toe out of line- and I have a clean slate, which I intend to keep that way.
I haven't started at college yet, and don't think I will for another couple of decades. I hate to think that by attending school I am putting others in danger. I will wait until I can completely control myself before doing that, and I wont go out in public before. You have no need to worry about the people I come in contact with; I have it covered!
I would like you to know, if you can still believe it, that I am missing you terribly. Every day apart feels like an eternity, and all those memories we share often come to occupy my daydreams. I hope the pain you are no doubt feeling can get better in time, and that I have not completely destroyed a part of you which can never be recovered. I love you, Jacob Black. That will never change. But even a lifetime's worth of apologies can never quell the guilt I feel. I hope I have not destroyed your life, and that you will find another to love as much as you did me.
Although you were never on the best of terms with Edward, he was asking after you. If you decided to reply to this letter, we would all be grateful to hear from you. And no one more than I. It would make my day!
How is Billy? And the rest of the pack? I hope you are all leading lives with an essence of normality now we have left Forks!
Yours sincerely,
Bella Cullen x
I laid the pen down on the writing table and read back over the letter. It sounded oddly formal, not like how I would have written it a year ago. I suppose a lot had changed since then.
I guess I owed it to Jacob not to play with his emotions too much, so writing it in this sort of style maybe was best. And living with a family whose normal conversation put Shakespeare to shame perhaps was rubbing off on me.
I grinned to myself as I sealed the letter, and then inked Jacob's address on the front of the envelope. Sighing deeply, I pushed back the chair and left the envelope on the writing desk. I would ask Carlisle to post it on his way to work tomorrow.
Edward was waiting for me downstairs, wearing only his black boxers and an apron with chocolate muffins on it. He was grinning widely, and in his oven-gloved hands was a batch of cookies.
"What are those for?" I asked as I descended the stairs.
"Can't you guess?" he replied with a crooked half smile that made me melt. He put the tray of cookies on the table and pulled off the oven gloves.
"I honestly have no idea," I answered. "In case you've forgotten, I'm not human any more…"
Edward came closer to me, and I noticed that his golden eyes were dancing with humour. The very eyes which had drawn me to him in the first place, which seemed like the gateway to the soul he thought he no longer had.
"Unless you are planning on feeding them to Emmett," I said thoughtfully.
"I don't think even Emmett would fall for that," Edward said. He spun around and plucked a muffin from the tray. "But you on the other hand…"
In the next second, Edward had shoved a cookie into my mouth. As the familiar smell filled my mouth, I began to cough loudly, trying not to swallow the cookie. It tasted like sawdust. Not swallowing was made harder by the fact that I was laughing my head off as I coughed. After about a minute, I managed to get the cookie out my mouth. I made to throw the mangled mess at Edward, but instead chucked it into the bin and jumped at him.
With a squeal, I knocked us both over onto the ground. I sat on Edward's chest, holding him down. Although he could have escaped by himself, he waited to see what I would do.
"You never did tell me what the cookies were for," I whispered softly.
"They're for the children," Edward answered just as smoothly.
"The children?" I muttered, "What are you talking about?"
"Do you have any concept at all of time, Bella?" Edward asked.
"I know it's October," I muttered. "But I don't know what day."
"It's October the 30th," Edward said, "The day before Halloween."
"Ah," I said. "Well aren't you thoughtful? Cookies for the kids."
"I do my best," Edward said with a chuckle.
I looked down
at him for a few moments. What a good dad he would make… I
thought. Better than any human could do. If only we could have
children!
"Hmmm," I said, tapping my chin with a finger.
"I think like you better without this." And I lifted myself up
off his body for a fraction of a second and whipped the apron off
him.
He grinned up at me with a mischievous glint in his eye.
"To answer your thought from before… if you were still human," Edward started, his voice low and ever so soft, "I wouldn't be able to do this." And he leaned in, and placed his cold lips on mine.
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Hope you
liked it!
Just imagine… Edward in nothing but an apron and his
boxers!
And Alice was the person who got the most votes, so I'll be doing her POV next!
CullenLove xxx
Ps. A cookie made by Edward to everyone who reviews!