A.N. Here you go guys. Sorry for the delay, I've been crazy busy. Instead of writing it like a paper, it's more like a series of one-shots (For Alexandra, short stories). Please read and review.

Chapter 2

"Good-bye to you
Good-bye to everything that I knew
You were the one that I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to"- Michelle Branch, Good-Bye to You

18 years ago

Kathy Johnson only experienced one moment of doubt that day.

She knew she was ready to leave. She had hoped that this baby would change things. Having a new little life to take care of might have reminded her and Elliot why they fell in love in the first place; it didn't. She resembled her daddy so much that she thought he'd constantly be home to be with the baby and her; instead, a rape-murder-suicide took up his time, allowing him to only be at home in time for a 2am feeding. The other kids got phone calls every other day, as long as Elliot remembered. She was ready to give his long hours another try. "Maybe," she had reasoned with herself, "I don't step aside enough to see the big picture, maybe his hours aren't so bad." She accepted that line of reasoning and began to rebuild.

Two months later, though, her head agreed with her heart. It was time to go, for good.

That morning, she pulled boxes up from the basement and began haphazardly throwing her things in. She didn't care about neatness or organization. Nothing else mattered but getting out of her ex-husband's house as soon as possible. As she packed, she began thinking through the actions and consequences of the past year and verbally berated herself. "What the hell possessed you to sleep with my ex-husband? He meant nothing to you for so long, and then, you go jump his bones! What the hell kind of example is that!!!! And, keeping the baby!!!! Kathy Johnson, you know better than that!!!! You knew that wouldn't work!!!! Why the hell did you assume it would??? You wasted a year of your life trying to fix something that you knew was permanently broken!!!! Why the hell did you think things would be different????? What the fuck did you except?!?!?!?"

Kathy fell on to the bed and wept. She wept for herself and her own stupid mistakes. She wept for a child who didn't deserve to be born into this zoo. She wept for Elliot, who was a good man, just not a good husband. She wept for how empty she felt without a companion and how she felt even worse when she was with Elliot. She wept for their other four children, who wanted nothing to do with their father and didn't know the man he could be.

As she calmed down, she heard the baby stirring in the next room. Knowing she'd be hungry, Kathy took a bottle of formula out of the fridge and put it in the microwave to warm it up. As she stood in the doorway of the nursery where all of her children had slept, she felt another wave of emotion, but quickly bit it back. "No, Kathy," she whispered to herself. "You're done being emotional for today. You are going to feed and change this baby, put her back to bed, finish packing, and go. You have no more time for tears." Although she knew that she would probably cry again that day, her speech made her feel a little better. She bit her bottom lip and walked toward the crib.

As she stood over the crib, she couldn't help but smile a little. Kathy Johnson usually hated when other women spent all their time squealing over infants and how cute they were, especially if they were butt-ugly. Alexandra Marie Stabler, however, was an exception to her rule. With her father's dark hair and bright blue eyes, she looked the part of a beautiful child. Her calm demeanor and quietness had made the last two months of her mother's life a lot easier to bear. As Alexandra recognized her face and smiled, Kathy didn't bother to try to stop the tears from dropping onto Alexandra's forehead. "Come on, darling," Kathy sniffled as she lifted her daughter out of the crib. "We're going to get you changed, fed, and then Mamma's gonna say good-bye."

Once Alexandra was dry and full, her mother sat with her in the rocking chair. "Sweetheart," she murmured. "You lit up my life for the past year. I felt a joy with you that I haven't felt in years. Unfortunately, the joy you created was a result of my half-assed attempt to bring your daddy and I back together. I knew, somewhere in the back of my head that it wouldn't work from the beginning, and I hope you can accept my apology."

She leaned forward to kiss her daughter on the top of her head and continued, "Darling, tonight, when your daddy comes home, I'm going to leave. You're going to stay with Daddy. He's a really good person and he won't let you down. Your daddy and I let each other down, but I know he'll be good to you. I love you darling," she whispered as a fresh wave of tears hit.

Once she calmed down, she noticed that Alexandra was sound asleep. She slowly stood up and put her back in her crib. Afterward, she returned to feverishly packing.

7:00 that night

"Kathy!" Elliot called as he hurried out of his car and strode toward her. "Kathy, what's going on?"

Kathy pulled her head out of the back of her car and turned to Elliot. "I'm leaving," she responded calmly. "Could you please hand me that box behind you?"

Elliot was angry, but not very surprised. He picked up the box and handed it to her. "Kathy, I was pretty sure this was coming, but I thought we agreed to give the other notice before leaving."

If looks could kill, Elliot Stabler would have been dead twice courtesy of his ex-wife's glare. Any of the peaceful sadness she had felt this afternoon to her daughter vanished as she jumped out of the back of her SUV and addressed him. "What, Elliot, two months wasn't notice enough!!!! I thought things would be different between us, but no, you just can't ever change. Does spending time with me cause you to cheat on your first wife, work??? Or, is spending time with me cheating on Olivia?" she said, the venom dripping from her voice.

Elliot stopped himself from smacking her across the face just before his hand made contact with her cheek. "Look, Kathy, I never cheated on you. You were the one with all the random boyfriends, hell; you were the one who wanted our marriage to be over in the first place!!! Why you came back and made a baby with me, I'll never know, but I do know that I want you and all of your shit out of my house within the next goddamned half hour!!!!" He roared.

"Well, aren't you just a lucky bastard; I'm already ready to go," she retorted as she slammed the hatch of her car closed. She picked up the baby carrier from the ground and thrust it into Elliot's hands. "You can keep it," she hissed.

Elliot's poker face dropped for a second; Kathy had fought like hell for custody of their other four children and Elliot couldn't figure out why she wasn't fighting him now. Kathy caught the look and answered the unasked question. "I don't ever want to see her again!!!!!!" she lied. "If I'm trying to forget you, why in the world would I take a constant reminder of you with me?????" She swung herself into the car, turned the key, and pulled away from her ex-husband and daughter forever.

As she stared in the back window, she saw Elliot taking Alexandra out of the carrier and holding her on her shoulder. She felt a tiny tug of doubt as she wondered once more if things could work out between her and Elliot. Before she let herself get too carried away with that line of thought, she mentally slapped herself, "Kathy, you know it's over," her brain lectured. "Just keep driving."

With that thought in mind, she pushed down on the gas a little bit harder and sped away from her old life forever.