Title: Memories

Chapter Seven: Tension and Regret

Author's Note: I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed and given me advice. I looked over my plot and it seems my story will be rated M in only two chapters near the end. I had made this story rated M to be safe, but I think I will be taking AddictionToFiction's advice and change it to T, and simply make a note in the chapters that go above that.

FeistyFeist's new review also made me want to talk about my two original characters for a moment. I got the idea for them when I was reading the Outsiders. It mentions how much Darry had to sacrifice to take care of Pony and Soda. He couldn't get to college or get a nice life like he had wanted. So that made me think "how different would it have been if he had made the other choice?". From this came Alan. Instead of taking care of his brother he finished college and got his diploma. This meant Nick had to deal with foster care and Alan didn't have to grow up as fast as Darry did.

I also changed the money situation for Nick and Alan. They have almost no problems when it comes to bills, and this takes another weight off Alan's shoulders that Darry has. This also means Nick doesn't have to work as hard as Soda does.

So in a way Nick and Alan are Soda and Darry, but not a copy and paste kind.

This chapter is the gang again, and has a lot of Darry and angst. Darry is one of my favorite characters, and I love it when we see how much we see how much he has to go through. This chapter also has my version of what happened at the Curtis household when Darry had hit Pony and Pony ran away. Keep reviewing and I will keep up this fast pace.

I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes, rubbing my temples with my fingers to try to calm my headache. No such luck, though I didn't really deserve to have any. I let out a long sigh and let my hands drop to my sides and opened my eyes again. Even in the dim light in the living room I could still see the front door from my spot.

I let out a long sigh, silently begging the door to open and Pony to come walken through, but I knew that would never happen. I hadn't happened the last time either. It was so easy to remember, it had only been a year ago. My thoughts drifted and that memory seemed to play like a movie before my eyes.

I stared down at my hand in surprise, watching in a state of shock as my palm turned red. I looked up to see Ponyboy on the ground, his eyes huge as he stared at me. My stomach twisted as I realized there was fear in his wide eyes. He was afraid of me. Really afraid of me.

"Pony," I said slowly, afraid that one wrong move would make him explode. Before I could even move he was up and out the door. The kid had always been a fast runner. I got to the door before the screen slammed closed and shouted. "Ponyboy I didn't mean to…." But he couldn't hear me. He was already at the lot and no matter how much I screamed he didn't turn around.

He was gone.

My heart was being ripped out of my chest as my youngest brother disappeared into the darkness of the night. I was such an asshole! How could I hit him? No one in my family had ever hit my brother. To hit my brother was like running over a puppy and just leaving it dieing in the street. You couldn't stoop any lower.

I felt myself sag from the great load on my shoulders and made a move to step outside. I had to find him, I had to beg him to forgive me. I would get down on my knees if I had to. He couldn't leave, I could lose someone else. But my feet were having a hard time of getting the concept of walking so I ended up stumbling back and ran into a familiar body.

I felt comforting arms wrap around my shoulders, which were shaking violently. Soda whispered comforting nonsense into my ear as he guided me to my chair and sat me down. "You got to calm down Darry." He said softly, moving to rub the knots in my back, trying to get rid of the tension. "You and Pony are both just to riled up. Let him cool off and then we can go look for him. I bet if we talk he'll see you didn't mean it." His back rub wasn't helping as much as it used to, but the feeling of anything but this pain was a little comforting.

"I know you love him." Soda said. "And I know he loves you. You guys are just so different you let stuff get in the way of that. But deep down, I know he could never hate you."

I nodded slowly. I really wanted to believe what Soda said was true, but my mind wouldn't let me forget the look on Pony's face. I highly doubted that. I wouldn't blame Pony at all if he hated my guts. Soda sat with me for a couple of minutes, the told me he was going to take a nap and to wake him when Pony came back. He waited for me to nod like and then retreated to his room.

I sat there for I don't know how long, starring at the door, begging it to open. I wanted Pony to come through and forgive me for the terrible thing I had done. Starring at the spot where he had fallen after I hit him I imagined him there. His skin was pale, making the red mark on his cheek stand out vividly. The look that had been in his eyes reminded me so much of Johnny when he got beat up bad by his parents.

Dear god, what had I done?

I could no longer hold back the tears, and I silently let them fall down my face. I would wait for Pony to come home, would be right here when he came through that door.

I waited…

And waited.

And waited some more.

But my brother never came home, no matter how many nights I sat there. What had I had done had caused my brother to be part of a murder. He had to be in hiding because of me, had to be so far away from home because of me. I had failed my parents, I had failed the gang, and I had failed him.

I had done it again, I realized. I had failed him again. If I had just walked out that door when I noticed he had been late I would have seen my brother lying there in a pool of his own blood, at the mersey of those Socs. But I hadn't, and now he was gone again.

The tears were back, and I let the silently fall. I would do it again if I had to. I would stay up ever night till he came home, and then I would make amends. My brother had forgiven me once, and I begged that he would do it again.

It took me a while after I opened my eyes in the morning to figure out I had fallen asleep last night. I groaned and rubbed my face, trying to get my foggy brain to work. I could smell coffee in the kitchen and I walked toward the smell without much thought.

Sitting at the table was a tired looking Soda and Steve, who was sporting a black eye and a split lip. When he saw me Soda gave me a small smile and offered me a cup of coffee. I took it gratefully and turned my attention back to Steve. "What happened?" I asked wearily.

"Got jumped by a bunch of Socs." Steve said angrily, dabbing away some blood with a towel. "There were only two of them, but one had a good right hook."

I groaned. After the little red head brat had gotten away from us the word had spread throughout the city what had happened. Socs were furious that one of there kind had been treated like that by a bunch of no good greasers, and greasers and hoods alike had been mad that one of there kind had been up ducted. Some didn't even know us, but all of them felt like those Socs had crossed the line.

From this came all the tension, and from that tension fights had arisen. The greaser population had joined our side and were beating up any Soc they could get there hands on, trying to find information about what had happened to Pony. Well, at least that was the excuse some of them used. It wasn't going to do much good anyways cause they were going on the few facts we had.

Two Bit had gotten out of the Soc that after they had knocked out Pony one of the Socs, the kid named Kevin, had driven off in a red mustang with Pony in the trunk, saying something about 'finishing the job'. The red head had sworn he didn't know what had happened after that or where he had taken Ponyboy, and after a severe beating by the entire gang we believed him. We had thrown him into a dumpster by the drive in, and he must have made his way back to his side of town. Now the whole poor side of town was no on the search for that red mustang.

The Socs on the other hand weren't giving up without a fight. Greasers could no longer walk the streets alone or you would be jumped for sure. There were now rumbles breaking out too, and actual gangs were being formed. Tim Sheppered's gang had grown, and almost every night he was having a war with a gang from of Socs. The whole city had been turned upside down.

I was broken from my dark thoughts when Soda asked me. "Damn Darry, did you sleep at all last night?" I nodded my head, but I could tell Soda knew I was lying. "I found you out on the chair again. You have got to stop doing that, or else you'll end up in the hospital.

I opened my mouth to make a retort when the front door opened a kid I recognized from Tim Sheppard's gang walked in. "Sheppard sent me to tell you we found the Soc that took your brother." He said quickly, panting slightly. "I would get over there if I was you if yah want to get information out of him, because I think Tim's going to kill him."

My cup fell to the floor with a crash but I didn't stop to notice. I was running out the door and down the street, Soda and Steve right behind me. I had to get there before Sheppard did something rash. Killing Kevin was my job.