XxpuppetmasterxX and LilMzSunshine

Chapter 5: The In-Laws

Until I got married, I was my own worst enemy.

XxpuppetmasterxX

You have received a Review Reply from LilMzSunshine

Story: Matchmaker, Matchmaker

XD Sorry, PM, didn't mean to insult you. I'm sure Mr. Sunshine isn't at all indicative of puppet masters. I'm sure he's not even allowed in the official puppet-wielding guild.

And, to be fair, I do exaggerate a little in the story; he treats me all right, I guess. Is the puppet mistress still hyperventilating whenever you get near her?

As to the companion: PLEASE write it! It's really hard for me to be objective (read: I don't even try XP) and I'd love to get the guy's perspective. Say, do you want to meet me online tonight? Around 7, maybe?

"So, what was with you last night?" Shikamaru asked Hinata as they had their weekly "Anti-Writer's Block" breakfast at The Tango Mocha. "You kept logging on and off of NIM" (ninja instant messenger).

"Yeah. I was supposed to meet XxpuppetmasterxX last night," she sighed unhappily, "but Kankuro had to meet somebody and they never showed. So he insisted on checking his email every few minutes... It was awful. I finally just emailed XxpuppetmasterxX and told him to do whatever he wants, and I'll tell him if I want something changed."

"Which you won't."

"I will. He listens to his fans, he won't mind."

"You're not a fan in this case, Hinata, you're a muse."

Hinata turned pink. Shikamaru laughed. "I'm actually kind of interested in this story, now. We'll see if it works out better than some of our collab projects. He posted the first chapter yet?"

"I don't know. Kankuro was on all night after I sent the email... and again this morning. He hogs the computer all the time"

"It's Hanabi and Neji I feel sorry for. They must be going nuts. It's like getting another you..."

"Shut up! Neji goes to Gai's to check his email when he gets desperate, and who cares about Hanabi?"

"Her Gaia friends?"

"Like they count."

"You seem more expressive than usual... are you all right? Going through withdrawal?"

"I'm fine," Hinata groaned. "I just haven't been sleeping much."

"... I don't think he's the type, but if you're that worried about getting raped, maybe you should start sleeping in separate rooms?"

"I'm not worried about getting raped... at least, no more than I am about anything else, and separate rooms are right out... Dad's got it in his head that if we didn't share a room, we'd never talk to each other our entire lives."

"... you know, he is right."

"Please, Shikamaru-kun, I've had a long week. Don't take his side."

"I'm not saying it would be a bad thing if you two never spoke, I'm just saying your dad's right, you wouldn't."

Hinata nodded. It took Shikamaru a moment to realize that this was because she was falling asleep over her muffin.

New Story from XxpuppetmasterxX

Category: General

Title: Make Me a Match

Genre: Angst/Drama

Rating: Fiction Rated T

Summary: Companion to LilMzSunshine's Matchmaker, Matchmaker. After a hasty arranged marriage, Kenta finds himself alone in a strange country, married to a woman who wants nothing to do with him and living with the most hostile in-laws in human history.

Kankuro shut down the computer not too long after Hinata left, removing his handy jump-drive reverently. So what if he couldn't afford his own laptop because he blew all his money on puppet parts? This was fine. It was better, really, because it was easier to hide. Of course, it would be one thing for them to find out about his website (the famous one, that is), but now he REALLY didn't want them finding out about his activities. Something told him that the Hyuugas wouldn't take to kindly to his description of the thinly-disguised Hinata character.

"Uh, Kankuro-kun?"

Kankuro quickly slipped the jump-drive into his pocket. It was the little one. He didn't know her name for certain. Neji referred to her as "Midget", but something told Kankuro that "Hanabi" was the more probable choice. "Yeah?"

"Um... can you reach the cereal for me?" she asked, pointing to the kitchen. "I'm not tall enough."

"Oh, sure," Kankuro opened up the indicated cabinet. "Lucky Charms or Trix?"

"The Charms, please. I don't support rabbit abuse."

Kankuro smiled as he grabbed the box. So he wasn't the only one who wondered why they didn't just give that poor bunny some cereal. "That's not a very healthy breakfast."

"It's all we've got," the little girl shrugged, skimming some marshmallow blue moons off the top of the cereal before pouring herself a bowl. "Mom doesn't cook, and she's at her day spa with her girlfriends, Hinata's out with her gay friend,"

"I take it your dad and Neji don't cook?" he asked. Feminist Temari would have a thing or two to say about that.

"Well, they do if they have to, but they both sleep until noon, and Neji hits me if I bug him while he's sleeping... and Dad killed the last guy to wake him up at night."

Kankuro laughed; Hanabi didn't. Kankuro immediately made a mental note to be as quiet as possible at night.

"You can't hire someone?" he asked after a second.

"We used to, but when Mom and Dad argue they tend to move towards the kitchen so they can throw things at each other, so he quit, something about this being a negative environment for him... we haven't been able to get anybody else. Guess we've got a reputation... it's amazing the maids stick around."

Kankuro, as a child who had grown up in a less-than-stable home, felt an immediate empathy for his cynical little sister-in-law. "Do you want an omelette?" he offered, taking some eggs out of the refrigerator.

Hanabi's mouth watered. She looked up at him hopefully. "...really?"

Neji awoke early (for him) to the smell of fresh-made cookies. Neji liked cookies, and was all for this development, until he remembered that no one in his family knew how to bake.

"It's ok! Just step away from the oven! I've got the fire extinguisher!"

"What's wrong with you?" Hanabi asked, waving a chocolate-covered spoon at her cousin. "Is there a fire?"

"If you were baking cookies, there should be."

"Kankuro-kun made them!" she exclaimed, pointing to a plate of chocolate chip cookies. "We're going to ice them," she explained, once again brandishing the spoon at a bowl full of chocolate icing. "They're going to be so rich that two bites can kill you!"

"Well, it's healthier than what you normally eat for breakfast, I suppose."

"No, he made me an omelette, too. It was really good... it was all... filling and wholesome and stuff."

"We're out of eggs," Kankuro said apologetically, "But if you want to run to the store..."

"Nah," Neji picked up a cookie and dipped it in the frosting. This was more the type of meal he was used to, having lived with Gai for so long and all. He nibbled the cookie, raising his eyebrows a little. "This is... good."

"Thanks," Kankuro said.

What Neji had meant to say was, "OH MY GOD! MARRY ME!" but this would have been far too expressive for him. Not to mention a little gay. So instead he just grabbed a few more cookies and walked off. And while anyone who knew him well would have understood that this was the highest of compliments from him, Kankuro didn't know him well, and was a little miffed.

Hinata snuck around the kitchen, hoping to avoid not only Kankuro, but her entire family. Kankuro, too, of course. She made a bee-line for the miraculously-unoccupied computer.

XxpuppetmasterxX,

The following review has been submitted to: Make Me a Match Chapter: 1

From LilMzSunshine

Oh my God! This is amazing! I'm sorry that you have to fit so much in to the first couple of chapters to keep up with me, though. My bad...

You handled matching with mine so well! I actually felt sorry for Kenta, and he's my villain! The different perspective is great; I was a little worried about how you would be able to fit it in... It'll be a pleasure doing business with you. XD I can't wait for more!

"Hinata, you should try one of those cookies your husband made," Neji suggested, walking by her on his way to pick up a few more. "They're not half bad."

"I just had a muffin," Hinata said. What she didn't say was that nothing put her off Kankuro like reading, reviewing, receiving reviews from, or sending messages with XxpuppetmasterxX. She could tell that Neji was quite taken with him (Kankuro); Neji didn't get his hands on decent cookies very often, and she sensed a lecture if she mentioned that she wanted nothing to do with the man who baked them. She could already hear him, going on about how it was her destiny to be married to someone who could cook, not the porno guy, and she would just have to accept this.

Hinata scratched her cousin off the list of people she could talk to and prepared to leave to meet her team.

"Sis, you ought to take Kankuro-kun with you!" Hanabi suggested as she noticed her leaving.

"I– nah, I don't think-,"

"No, he should meet Kiba and Shino... and it gets him out of the house. You can't leave him cooped up here all day. It's rude."

Hinata stood awkwardly between her teammates and her husband, thinking about all the different ways there were to kill Hanabi, and which one would cause the most pain.

"Well, Hinata, I guess your family emergency days ran out?" Kiba joked. "Through mourning your lost freedom?"

Hinata smiled weakly and laughed a little.

"You know, we never had you pegged as the first one to get married," Shino said.

"We always figured, well, Kurenai first, obviously... even though her boyfriend's a good-for-nothing slacker with a commitment problem," ("Kiba doesn't like Asuma," Shino explained to Kankuro.) "then Shino's parents would start putting the pressure on him, and then I'd meet someone, and then you'd eventually settle into spinsterdom."

"Thanks, Kiba," Hinata said flatly. Kiba laughed and hugged her.

"I'm only teasing you, Hina-chan. So, what do you guys want to do today?"

"We should show our new teammate-in-law around," Shino said. "It's best he at least knows a few land marks, so he doesn't get too lost when he's trying to get away from Hinata's crazy family."

"YEAH!" Kiba exclaimed. "Good idea, bug-boy. All right, Kankuro, first stop is my house... you can meet the dogs! Once they recognize you you can come by anytime... until then make sure you show up with Hinata."

"The spare key to my house is in one of those little fake rocks next to the door, I'll show you," Shino said.

Hinata lingered behind as the three boys walked off, feeling bewildered. Kiba and Shino couldn't like Kankuro! They were her teammates. They were supposed to be watching out for her, not befriending the worst enemy she had had since Neji had gotten all 'centered'.

As Hinata was scratching Kiba and Shino off of her list of people she could talk to, two more people were being added to the list. If they weren't on it to begin with.

Hinata's mother had gotten back to find a plate of chocolate-iced chocolate-chip cookies sitting on the kitchen counter, and had cautiously nibbled on one. Taking another one very carefully and edging out of the room, as though afraid the plate would vanish, she went to wake up her husband.

"Hiashi, wake the hell up, you worthless lazy bastard!"

"Uh?"

"Eat this cookie."

"I haven't had breakfast yet."

"It's one in the afternoon!"

"Yeah, that's right."

"Just eat the cookie!"

"What's wrong with it?" he asked immediately, taking a suspicious bite of the baked good.

"Kankuro made it," she said in an awestruck voice.

"Kankuro... made this? This morning? From stuff we had lying around?"

"He must have..."

"We married our little girl to someone who can bake..."

The couple stared at each other. This was something that, pending Hanabi growing up into a productive member of society (something nobody was holding their breath on), had never before happened. "We did something right."

LilMzSunshine,

The following review has been submitted to: Matchmaker, Matchmaker Chapter: 4, Betrayals

From XxpuppetmasterxX

XD Kenta's so lucky... my in-laws all hate me. I know Puppet Mistress's teammates, though, and they're pretty friendly... if a little... weird.

My mother and father-in-law in particular scare me. They're really overbearing, I guess is the word, and they treat me like some kind of science experiment... it's not really a surprise that their daughter's incapable of dealing with people.

Sorry, what is this, my own private angst session, or a review? Great chapter, and I know what my response chappie's going to be.

It's a bitch that your friends are all turning on you, though. What the hell's wrong with them?

New chapter from XxpuppetmasterxX

Story: Make Me a Match

Chapter: Homesickness