XxpuppetmasterxX and LilMzSunshine

Chapter 9: Another Sleepless Night

A/N: Incest vibes make everything better! (Don't worry, they're just vibes, which translate into cute.)

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

The next day was worrisome for Kankuro, as he and Hinata were the ones subject to most of the questioning from the various authorities. He was too preoccupied even to be amused by the idea of his mother and father-in-law trying to answer questions after their nerve-calming scotches.

It was damn fortunate that this had happened before, and nobody questioned motives, because if they had asked if he had any enemies, he probably would have burst.

LilMzSunshine was from Cloud.

He had never wanted Hinata dead. He just didn't want to be married to her. He never would have dreamed that Sunshine was serious about sending an assassin. Had she known about what had happened fifteen years ago? Did she have any idea what would happen if they were caught? Who was the assassin? He knew Sunshine was wealthy, had she hired a stranger, or was it someone she knew? Her cousin? She mentioned him occasionally, Kankuro knew he was a competent ninja... one would have to be, to get the jump on him as the assassin had.

What was he supposed to do? Sunny had crossed the line between online banter and real life, and she had done it dangerously. And he had helped her. He was helping her even now, not revealing what he knew.

To take his mind off of it, he checked his email, and felt almost ill to find an email and an update from LilMzSunshine in his Inbox.

He skimmed the email, wanting to write back and tell her about his night... but he couldn't. Not to the person who had sent the killer... and even if she hadn't, if she found out what had really happened, the Hyuugas... in fact, Konoha in general, would be in very, very big trouble.

Almost as a distraction, and certainly not with the eagerness with which he usually started an update of Matchmaker Matchmaker, Kankuro clicked on the link to the new chapter.

It seemed oddly familiar. Too familiar. At first he thought it was just coincidence, then that he was making similarities where there were none. But how many people have mysterious guests in the middle of the night on the same night? Then he wondered if LilMzSunshine was sending him a coded wink. "I know what happened last night... Better luck next time, huh?"

But that couldn't be it, because she couldn't possibly know what had happened, unless she had been there.

"Hey, Kankuro!" Hanabi called from where she was still glued to the gaming console. "You want to play Soul Caliber with me? Neji's getting burnt-out."

"I'm not burnt out! I'm just sick of playing with you," Neji objected. "If I wanted to, I could play this all night."

"Whatever, Neji. You'll be the first to die, and nobody'll miss you," Hanabi 'pft'ed. "Now pick a character all ready."

Kankuro looked back at the email LilMzSunshine had sent him. My cousins are playing Soul Caliber to decide which one of them would be missed less if one was to mysteriously disappear. My mother just got done slapping bandages all over my limbs, Kankuro turned to the couch where Hinata was sitting, drinking some chamomile tea and watching her sister and cousin fight. Her arms and cheeks were covered with band-aids, applied by her mother as soon as it came to light that the assassin had managed to cut her up a little before she defeated him.

Something wasn't right. Kankuro read back through LilMzSunshine's story, frowning. It had been published right after he had found out about his impending wedding... and took place on Youko's birthday, which was uncomfortably close to Hinata's. Her older cousin was Neji's age, her younger one, Hanabi's. She had an older sister-in-law and a younger brother-in-law, both of them eerily fond of her. Kankuro could remember Gaara following Hinata around... had he really been telling her everything to like about his brother?

He and LilMzSunshine had never been able to meet online because Hinata or Mr. Sunshine were always hogging the computer. They always just missed each other. They left town on the same day to go visit their families. They had been married at about the same time. Their stories coincided on almost every count. And he had put it down to Sunny adjusting to fit his updates...

I wish we were married. – Sunshine

But we are! Or, did you mean, to each other? xoxo – puppy

Kankuro looked over at Hinata, intently watching two women with physically-improbable bodies attack each other. He thought maybe Neji was winning. It was hard to tell.

"Hinata–," he said. She turned to him, her eyes widening, her shoulders hunching in, pulling her tea closer to her body.

"Y-yes?"

I hate him. I hate my husband.

I just can't ever imagine feeling comfortable around him.

Don't waste your sympathy on your husband, because he's a jerk. A complete bastard who doesn't deserve you.

Kankuro winced. He had shot himself in the foot, there. LilMzSunshine was so afraid of her husband... Hinata was LilMzSunshine. LilMzSunshine was afraid of him. She hated him, and there was nothing he could do about it. And if he told her what he had found out, who he really was, she would never even talk to him online. He could never tell her. He couldn't lose Sunny.

"Thanks for saving my life and all."

Hinata bowed her head and took another sip of tea. Hinata could make even tea-drinking look timid. "You're very welcome, K-Kankuro-kun."

Kankuro sighed heavily. His wife was beautiful, and witty, and insightful, and sweet, and supportive, and so afraid of him that she couldn't look him in the eye.

Neji was going to sleep. In fact, Neji was asleep, as far as his family was concerned. He was in his bed, the lights were out, and he had every intention of falling asleep in the next five minutes. It had been a long, long day, preceded by a long, long night. And it wasn't really over, because they would be sorting out the ramifications of Hinata's little adventure for a long, long time. Plus he needed to come up with some money. It would be best for him to get a good night's sleep.

The door slid open and then slid back shut. Neji closed his eyes tighter and hoped it was just his aunt checking to make sure that he hadn't snuck out of the house to go drinking with Team Gai again. But no such luck.

"Can I sleep with you tonight, Nii-san?"

Neji winced as Hinata crawled into bed next to him without waiting for his answer. "Why did we bother to fix up the guest room for you, if you were just going to come here?" (Hinata's room was still covered with police tape).

Hinata sighed and wrapped her arms around Neji like he was a rather-unwilling teddy bear. "I didn't want to sleep alone tonight... I- I'm afraid I'll get nightmares."

"Didn't we get you a husband just so you wouldn't have this problem? Go spoon with him."

"Oh, Neji, don't be silly," she murmured.

Neji sighed resignedly and started playing with her hair. "You're really too old for this kind of thing."

"I know..."

"... Hey, Hinata, did you ever think that... maybe puppetmaster sent the assassin?"

"Why would he do something like that?"

"To kill Kankuro. You two were talking about that, right?"

Hinata laughed once. "Puppy wouldn't do something like that. We were just joking."

"How do you know he was?"

"You're being ridiculous. Of course he was just joking. He wouldn't hire an assassin to kill someone he met online."

"Maybe it is ridiculous, but..." Neji sighed and closed his eyes, deciding to go back to sleep. "I dunno, you're someone worth killing for."

He felt Hinata wiggle closer to him and rest her head on his chest. "Thanks, Nii-san."

"Don't thank me. It's a huge burden to be as sexy as the two of us are. Trust me."

"I should have married you."

"Don't be stupid."

"I wouldn't sleep with you. We could just hang out and play Soul Caliber and cuddle. It would be a lot better."

"You're such a child sometimes," he sighed, twirling some of her hair around his finger. "You can't just spend the rest of your life playing house with your cousin like you're five."

"Why not? I wouldn't care if you had a mistress. You could still fool around with Ino."

"Baka..."

"What? I thought she liked you."

"That's not what I meant," Neji whispered. "Just go to sleep."

"Will you sing me a lullaby?" Hinata asked sleepily.

"No. Go to sleep."

"Please?"

Neji sighed. "Fine. Any requests?"

Once he was certain she was asleep, Neji very carefully shrugged her arms off and slid out of bed. He didn't really mind that she wanted to fall asleep with someone, but after traumatic experiences with Team Gai, Neji felt very strongly that he was entitled to his own bed. And he had no problem relocating his cousin in the middle of the night to make that happen.

Kankuro didn't sleep well that night. He felt so stupid. How had he not seen it the moment he saw that story posted? If only he had, they would have been so much happier. Why had he said all those things about Mr. Sunshine? He wasn't such a bad fellow, really. Even Sunshine said that she wasn't fair to him.

But she wasn't fair to him because she hated him. And there was nothing poor Mr. Sunshine could do to change that.

Still beating himself up mentally, he drifted into a less-than-restful sleep, and didn't wake up until he felt something press against his chest.

Kankuro's eyes shot open, and he reached for the kunai that he had (very wisely, he felt) decided to stash under his pillow in case of any more surprise night attacks. But he released it when his eyes adjusted and he realized that it was just Hinata sleeping next to him.

Possibly because he was tired and stressed, he didn't question how she had come to be there. All he knew was that they had never been so close together, and that it was a very bad night for them to set this record. He could see her chest rise and fall, feel her breath.

And he realized that Gaara was right. She was beautiful asleep. (Had he said beautiful? Of course he had... how could you not see that?)

"No fair, Sunny," he whispered. "You told me you were ugly."

There were a lot of thoughts, most of them pretty racy, going through Kankuro's head, but none of them were helpful for his situation, so, with a great deal of effort, he forced himself to go back to sleep.