A/N thanks for the reviews, I didn't like killing off one of my favorites but it seemed necessary for the plot. ugh

Chapter 9

Buffy sat on a park bench that next afternoon deep in thought. She never had the chance to know that other slayer, help her and befriend her and it didn't seem fair. Nothing in life seemed fair these days, her friends were all messed up and she had no real promise of a lengthy life. She hadn't really thought about that, even with her own deathish experiences, but the other slayer made that reality hit home. She felt for Willow, wondered about Britney, Xander and gave herself a dose of self-pity while she was at it. She would never get the chance to experience life because of her calling and now there was some girl out there going through the same fate that was so graciously bestowed upon her because she could not save the current slayer.

A car door closing jerked Buffy's senses back to the alert stage and Harmony walked up to her. "Are you all right?" The cheerleader asked, no longer with the familiar smug tone in her voice. She had witnessed a lot the night before and had learned a thing or two about the value of every human life.

"All in a day's work," was Buffy's distant reply. Whenever Buffy felt insecure about her abilities as a slayer, she would go inside herself to keep her friends at bay. Buffy's reasoning for this was that if they were not close to her, their chances of being killed would be decreased.

"Well you don't look all right," the cheerleader replied bluntly. "That was pretty wild Buffy and if you need to talk, I've learned how to listen very well over the last couple of days."

"What's to talk about?" Buffy enquired in a tired voice. "I'm a vampire slayer and I simply cannot save the world as I was called to do." Buffy's pain and anger seeped out through her words as she looked down at the ground.

"Of course you can't but you can do the best that you can." Harmony replied a little uncomfortably. She wanted to be there for her new friend but didn't quite know how to get into deep conversations.

"Harmony, the deal is that I have a death sentence. I don't want my friends to have that same sentence because they are associated with me. I cannot make plans to grow old, have kids and watch my grandkids grow up. I cannot fall in love because the only time that happened, I had to kill him because he turned into this big bad demon and tried to kill everyone. So then I decide to pick a normal guy to get into a relationship with and what does he do?" Buffy didn't mean for her emotions to be set free and come tumbling out but they did, thus she began to cry as she spoke.

Harmony looked at Buffy sadly and then moved forward to embrace the girl as her tears began to fall. Buffy was so strong outwardly and during battles but it was apparent that her strength ended there. Nobody would have ever guessed that this petit blonde who was crying on Harmony Kendall's shoulder had the strength that was greater then a large number of men put together in a physical sense. "Buffy, this is what I learned from what happened yesterday. I learned to stop acting childish and being rude to others because I may not have a tomorrow. I learned that if you slayers didn't exist, my chances of death would be greater then they are now. I also learned that if there is a special someone that you would like to be with, you need to grab that chance and make the most of it. Live life to its fullest while you are here."

Buffy looked up at the cheerleader with a stunned look on her face. She briefly wondered if some demon had cast an intelligence spell on the not so bright girl. She also realized that Harmony's words were the truth. "Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would get a pep talk from you." Buffy said with a gentle smile replacing the frown on her face.

"Buffy, can I ask you a question?" The cheerleader ventured, as Buffy watched Willow walk into a coffee shop with Xander and had a flicker of hope that things were going to be worked out rather then grow worse between the lifelong friends.

"Sure," Buffy said with a tinge of nervousness in her voice. Why she felt the nervousness was unknown to her but it was there.

"Well, it's silly really. I've noticed your dialect has become more adultish and proper lately. Did you get smart all of a sudden or is there another reason for that?" The cheerleader smirked at Buffy's surprised look and stepped over towards her car.

Buffy hadn't noticed her change in the use of the English language but knew, from experience, that it changed when she was nervous about a big decision she needed to make. She knew, in the back of her mind, what this big decision was but was afraid to make it. "I hadn't noticed," she told a white lie but figured it was a harmless one.

"Do you think they're making up?" Harmony asked in reference to the two friends who had just gone in the coffee shop.

"That or the next apocalypse is near." Buffy said in a condescending tone of voice and headed for the coffee shop.

- - - -

Willow was surprised to find a message from Xander on her machine when she got home from school. She had spent most of the day thinking of Britney and how she missed her. The doubts were still there however, which prompted Willow to make the decision to give herself a little more time to sort it all out. She believed that Britney would give her that time, which made her also believe that there was still some hope for the couple. She did love Britney but had to find out the truth one way or the other. "Hey Will, I've been laying low for the last few days and met this chick who has helped me to understand where all my anger came from. If you don't mind, I'd like to talk to you and see if there is anything we can salvage. Maybe too, you could meet my new friend. She's a real sweet girl and is lesbian like you apparently are. So if you want to give me a shot at explaining myself, meet me at 5:30 at the coffee shop."

"Hey there Willow," Britney's soft voice was the next message on Willow's machine. Hearing her voice made Willow a bit weak in the knees and she wanted nothing more then to return the call to ask Britney to come over. She felt so safe and loved in Britney's arms but kept up her resolve to wait this thing out. "I just wanted to call so that you know I'm thinking of you. I miss you Willow and I hope we can clear this all up very soon."

Sadly, Willow walked away from the phone, showered and headed out the door to meet Xander. Part of her wondered if she should not have called Buffy to go along in case this blew up in her face but decided to hear him out. Even if he had a logical explanation for things, Willow knew that she could not just jump right into their friendship as if nothing happened. Too many hurtful things had been said on both sides and stinging words didn't just go away in a flash.

As she turned up the street towards the coffee shop thinking that maybe she should have at least returned Britney's call, Xander walked up from the other street. His eyes didn't meet hers and they were in total silence as they entered the little shop and sat down to order. "All right Xander, what gives?" Willow asked a little impatiently after they had received their drinks and pastries.

"You're not in the mood for chit chat I see." Xander added dryly in a weak attempt to make Willow smile.

"Not really," was all Willow replied. She didn't mean to be so curt with her one time best friend but she didn't feel comfortable making pleasantries with him at this stage of the game.

"Well I met this girl and she seemed really nice. We got to talking and I discovered that she was lesbian. So I told her how I freaked out with you over being one." Xander began to speak swiftly to indicate that he got the hint that Willow didn't plan on fixing things with the snap of a finger. "So I told her about our friendship and the length of it."

Xander took a quick break to finish off his drink and continued to speak with a hint of hope in his eyes. "She told me that it sounded like, with this on again off again crush we shared, I took for granted you would be there if I should decide to try for more of a relationship. Her reason was that I couldn't be against all lesbians or I wouldn't have talked so freely to her." Xander searched Willow's face for a positive sign but found none, thus he continued to speak. "After I thought it over and talked with her some more, I think she's right. I let my hurt over you not being there for me if I ever decided I wanted you overtake me and went off the deep end. For that, I'm so sorry and hope that you can understand it someday."

Willow thought about what Xander had said and knew that it could be true. Time after time, she sat in her room and felt hurt because Xander was with another girl. She carried what she now knew was only a crush on him for ages, with no reciprocation. She never allowed her emotions over the many disappointments to push her over the edge but knew that it was a very plausible reaction. "I do understand how that could happen Xander but the hurt is to deep for me to forget so fast. I know that I can forgive you but it will take some time before we can get back what we had, if we can."

"That's more of a positive reaction then I thought you would give so I'll take it. I was so nervous that you wouldn't even meet me and give me a shot at explaining this. You know, I was so nervous that I was stuttering, how you babble and Buff gets all teacher sounding when you are nervous over something." Xander spoke with a timid smile on his face. He knew that they had a lot of work to do thanks to his stupidity but hoped that it could be done with a little time and effort. He still wasn't fond of Britney for some reason however and hoped that Willow would take a liking to his new friend and ditch Britney. She was shy, blonde, pretty and Tara was a nice name. "Oh hey, here comes Buff and the resident snob," Xander said as Buffy and Harmony walked in the door. "They seem a little chummy, now that's weird."

Willow glanced over at the two girls and it hit her like a ton of bricks. Harmony was supportive of her for a reason and Buffy was nervous for a reason. Those reasons were linked together. "Yeah they are," Willow said with a smile and stood to greet her friends. She felt it strange to consider Harmony a friend but she did now.

After Buffy did a check on the situation at hand, the two sat down at the table and ordered food. The four had a cautious chat for a few minutes and then Xander suddenly stood. "Hey guys, this is my new friend Tara Maclay. She's the one who helped me see what a dorke I was being."