Coming Out: Lily's Interlude

Part 3

In a different part of Oakdale another fight had gotten significantly more heated. Lily wasn't sure how she and Holden had started fighting this time, but it had ended with them both yelling and her storming out. Sometimes she wondered how they could still fight like this after everything they'd been through. But then again, their relationship had never been calm.

And what hurt the most was that she knew that this was her doing; that had she been forthright with her husband, the might be on a date right now instead of being livid at each other. But instead of flirting with her husband over dinner or holding his hand in the back of a movie theatre, she was walking around downtown Oakdale trying desperately to regain some measure of composure.

And then suddenly she was not so much walking as falling. The young man she had run into had regained his balance and was offering his hand to help her up. She tried to place where she recognized him from as he apologized to her: "I'm sorry Mrs. Snyder. I should have been paying attention to where I was going. Are you alright?"

As he helped her to her feet she finally placed where she knew him from. "I'm fine," she said as he helped her up. "I wasn't watching where I was going either. You're Luke's friend. It's Noah, right?"

Lily was still far from calm, even with the shock of a fall to distract her. But even in the state she was in, she noticed that Noah flinched when she said Luke's name. Luke hadn't said much about his friends WOAK recently. She found herself wondering if perhaps they had had a falling out. Noah confirmed that idea when he responded, saying "Yeah. Though I haven't been much of a friend lately."

Normally, had someone hurt her son, Lily Snyder would have hated them with all her soul. But tonight wasn't normal. Tonight, she was keenly aware of what it felt like to hurt someone that you cared about. Tonight she could hear the remorse in Noah's voice. She managed to smile weakly at him and say "If you weren't a good friend, you wouldn't sound so sad when you said that." It made her feel better when he smiled back; it was good to know that someone else was in the same situation as here. " We never try to, but sometimes we hurt the people we care about."

With that he bent down to pick up a bag that she hadn't noticed before and said "Thank you. It means a lot that you think that."

The bag made Lily pause for a second. It wasn't a small bag. If he were 20 years older and the bag it was a suitcase, it might seem normal. But he might be 20, and it was a large duffel. It wasn't the kind of bag a 20 year old packed for a overnight stay somewhere or a weekend at a friends. It was the kind of bag that a 20 year old only packed if they were going to be gone for a while. She motioned to the bag, asking "Are you leaving town?"

Noah flinched at the question, even more visibly than he had when she mentioned Luke. But after a moment he answered, "No. I guess I'm going to be spending a few nights in a cheap motel."

Now Lily flinched herself. The Lakeview wasn't a cheap motel, but she still wasn't going to be sleeping at home tonight. But at least she was calmer now that she had someone to talk to. But she noted that it didn't seem to be doing quite as much good for Noah. Silence, however, never solved anything, and perhaps a bit more conversation would help the both of them. She went forward a few steps before she turned back to Noah: "Care to walk with me? It would be good to have someone to talk to."

Noah managed to smile, albeit meekly, as he slung his bag over his shoulder. "Talking would be nice," he replied as he turned in the direction Lily was headed.

The bag and the motel comment begged only one question, but it took Lily a moment to figure out how to approach it. She like Maddie, but she couldn't help but feel sorry for this young man. She decided to take the middle ground as she broached the topic, saying "I take it you and Maddie are having some problems?"

His voice became softer as he replied. "That's putting it lightly," he said. "And every bit of it is my fault."

Lily sighed. They really did seem to be in the same boat tonight. "I know how that feels," she said. "But at least you can admit it: that takes a strong person." She paused for a moment, not entirely sure that she should ask her next question. She decided that she should, if only because it meant they would keep talking. "Do you think," she asked, "that you'll be able to work it out?"

Noah's looked down as he responded, answering "Not the way that you mean. But I think, eventually that we might be friends again. After what I've done to Maddie and Luke in the past couple of weeks, that's really more than I deserve."

The word "deserve" echoed in Lily's mind. What did you have to do to deserve forgiveness? Many of the people she had forgiven over the years probably hadn't deserved it. Had she deserved to be forgiven every time that she had? Did she deserve for Luke to forgive her for the way that she had treated him after he came out? Did she deserve for Holden to forgive her now? It made her feel infinitely better when she realized that it didn't matter. "I think," she said to Noah, "that when people forgive those they care about, it has more to do with the fact that they care about them than whether or not they deserve it." She knew as she said it why Luke had forgiven her and she knew as well that, despite the fight that they had tonight, Holden would forgive her as well. It made her feel good to have hope that everything would work out.

And apparently it made Noah feel better too, because he was smiling again and this time is was less forced. He slowed down a bit as they approached the corner of the block and asked "Do you really think so?"

She placed her hand on his shoulder and smiled back, saying "I really do." As they turned the corner, she removed her hand and pointed at the sign for the Lakeview, saying "Well, Noah, it looks like we're here."

Noah nodded and began to speak. "I'd better get going then. It was …"

Before he could finish Lily interrupted him. "Don't be silly," she said. "You're staying here. I'll take care of it."

Noah shook his head and protested, saying "No. I can't let you do that. I…"

Once again Lily cut him off. Whatever Noah might have done that he felt it necessary to punish himself for, she liked the young man. She wasn't going to let him sleep in a roach motel. Not when she owned half of a hotel he could stay in. She put on a face she hoped looked stern and said "I don't like being told what I can do with my hotel. Besides, you've spent a lot of hours helping at the call center. It means a lot to our whole family that you're helping to find JJ. We look out for our friends. I won't take no for an answer."

Noah hesitated for a moment before he started walking again. The two of them were almost out the door when it flew open and out walked Luke.