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What was she doing? Bette lay in bed with Jodi lying next to her. They were spooned together and it should be the greatest feeling she ever had. But it just was not what she wanted. Why had she pursued the relationship so vehemently? Was it the fact that she wanted to be in control? Or was it because she was afraid of going for what she had really wanted?
All the time that she had struggled in her relationship with Jodi it was Tina she had gone to for advice. It was awkward but there was no one that knew her the way that her ex did. If anyone could help her win back the woman that she thought she loved it would be Tina. And she had. That was the insane part.
It was Tina that had suggested it had to be a grand gesture and not flowers or something along those lines. So Bette had, with the help of Alice and Shane, broken the law and stolen the old sign off the building that was to be condemned anyway. It was a piece that Jodi had greatly coveted and had worked the magic originally intended by the art enthusiast.
But now things were changing again. Tina was single and she was back in the land of girls. Her ex was even starting to date now. But it was nothing serious. Their shared dinner had been disastrous. It had lead to more feelings and more confusion for both women. So lying here with the woman that she was supposed to be in love with was not feeling all that great.
The two women were just too different. Though she loved many things about Jodi there was no way that she could see her spending the rest of her life with her. That thought was reserved for Tina and only Tina. The two had even nearly slept together. It was not something that she wanted to pursue.
But there was something pulling her toward Tina. It was like a moth to a flame. In her heart, she knew it was wrong as long as she was still in the committed relationship with Jodi. But her heart was telling her and her head that she needed to get out. She needed to free herself so that she could be with Tina once again. The two would forever belong together.
There was one problem and it was a big one. How did you break someone's heart? How did you tell them that you no longer felt that love that you once thought you did? Especially when this was the first truly committed relationship that Jodi had ever allowed herself to be in. What would the consequence be if she found out that in her heart, Bette had already cheated?
The young woman disentangled herself from her lover's grip and walked out onto the patio. The cool clean air hit her as well as the calming scent of the pool water. Her life had never been simple but now it was nearly unbearable. She had a love that many would kill for and yet it did not make her happy.
There was only one person on the face of the earth that would ever make her truly happy. She would have to talk with Tina and see if she felt the same way. If the two were still in love like she perceived, she would have to tell Jodi and then the two could be together like she wanted. It would be as if the two had never been a part.
But they had been and it had done things to their relationship. If they got back together than would they find that they were stronger for having gone through the things that they had? Or would they find that things had changed too much for them to be the once happy couple. Only time would tell what in her life was real and what was not. Time.