AN-Well, guess I'll try some more from Tina's point of view. I've got a bit of following from Bette's. Hope you enjoy. Feedback is always welcomed. More feedback equals more chapters. Thanks all.
What was she doing? Tina had no clue as to what she was doing. It was late at night. Bette was off doing something. Buddhism seemed to be her latest cure all for the situation that they found themselves in. It wasn't totally Bette's fault that money was tight but she could use her head more when it came to spending.
Their credit cards were already getting maxed out as was proof by Jenny's welcoming home party. Had that even made a dent on her lover's spending spree? No, she was still buying new clothing that she didn't need, books that seemed to be a waste, and now going to this meeting that was just a way of alienating her.
Was that why she was sitting here late in the dark by herself in front of Bette's laptop? Had things gotten that far out of hand where their connection that had once come so easily was now a strain to keep as a stronghold? Or was it all in Tina's mind that things were as strained as they were? There was not much that the young producer was sure of anymore.
She sat here writing back and forth on how wet she was because some guy had a hard on for her. Once she had met Bette she never thought for a second that she would even be the slightest bit interested in having a man in her life in the physical way. Their love life had once been so amazing that she had never wanted for anything more.
But since Bette had cheated, it had become difficult to be intimate. All she could do was think of someone else with her hands all over the woman that she used to love so much. It had broken that bond that they were supposed to have. It had not broken but destroyed it to a near unrepairable place.
The fact that she herself had just had a baby and wasn't feeling the most attractive probably was helping to hurt their chances together. But why turn to a man? What did a man have that a woman didn't? That was obvious. But did she really want some guy's dick inside of her? Had she really returned to the land of the straight? Or was this simply a reaction to everything that was going on?
She slammed the computer shut. It was true that their relationship was strained and would never be the same as it once had been before but did that mean that she was ready to give up on women in general? Did it mean that she was ready to go back to a place and time when she felt comfortable and safe? That her life was not being judged by everyone else because she had fallen for a woman instead of a man?
There was also little Angelica to think of. Anything she did would affect her little girl. There was no way, no matter what was happening between herself and Bette that she would deny her daughter both mothers. That was one thing that she was certain of was that she would make sure that Bette had a place in their daughter's life.
But what place did she have in Bette's life anymore? It was as if she had outgrown the relationship that they once had. It was when she had given up her identity and quit working that things had changed so dramatically between the two. But was that everything? What was the real reason that the two now found it so difficult to be together? Her thoughts were back to what she had typed on the computer screen. Yes, she wanted him to fuck her. She wanted a man inside of her. But was it for real?