So here I am, again, with another chapter...I'm sorry if it has too many mistakes, kay? And if you found some, please let me know, it doesn't bother me, it actually helps a lot.

I guess I must explain the japanese words first: title -san and -kun are used for people to whom you owe respect. San is usually for older people or peope your same age, like teachers and classmates. Kun is usually for younger people that you admire and love, or for older people that you admire and love. The title -chan is used for younger people or people who you truly love, as your children, grandchildren, friends, husband, wife. Arigato, means thanks. Onegai, means please. Sayounara means goodbye. Damare, means shut up. And baka means stupid.

Diclaimer: I do not own NGE, nor do I own Shinji or Kaworu. No one could ever bear to possess such amount of beauty. The song used in this chapter is "We Shout" by t.A.T.u.

Warning: this fanfic is Yaoi, meaning Boy's love...meaning a boy loving another boy... If you have a problem with that, I strongly suggest you don't read it... I don't care about flaming and homophobes... but try not to insult gay people on the face of a lesbian writter!

One thing I want to add and I never have time to... Shinji spent two months or so at Tokyo-3 after Kaworu's death, before running away to Osaka, where he has been living for six months. In the meanwhie, Kaworu was in Hell. He spent an Eternity in Hell, since he died until he came back, because (even if it was eight months in Earth) time in Hell is different from time on Earth. Just because I say so. That's all.

This chapter is dedicated to all my readers, and specially for my reviewers! I love you all!

Off with the story!

Here is chapter number seven corrected. A big big THANK YOU for Lord Saturn! I LOVE YOUUUUU!!! Thanks for proofreading this!

A Calling From Above

I will forget my dreams

Nothing is what it seems

"So are you going or not? What did sensei Daichi say?" Shinji heard the voice like he was underwater.

She knew…Daichi-san knew…

Shinji kept walking, with his bag hanging on his left shoulder.

Kaworu grabbed Shinji's shoulder softly and half-turned the boy to face him. Shinji gave into Kaworu's strength and moved like a puppet, facing Kaworu with swollen eyes and fear on his now whitened features.

Kaworu had insisted on walking Shinji home, despite the cool weather. There was a light breeze when they left school, but now it was becoming stronger and it chilled them to the bone. Shinji had tried by all means to dissuade Kaworu but as with every other attempt at argument with the Angel, this one had also been useless

I will affect you

Kaworu shook Shinji lightly by the shoulder.

"Shinji-kun, are you alright? You seem distant" Kaworu asked him with concern.

And as Shinji noticed his intentions were honest, he thought to himself. He cares for me…I know he does.

"You look pale? Are you feeling ill?" Shinji only stared back, unable to move or to say anything.

Kaworu placed the back of his hand on Shinji's forehead, brushing back the younger boy's chocolate brown locks and sending shivers down Shinji's spine. He flinched, almost unnoticeable at the Angel's touch.

I will protect you

"You are not hot, rather, somewhat colder." Kaworu slid his hand from Shinji's forehead to his cheek. He couldn't help himself, and he felt rather sad when the blue-eyed boy stepped back, breaking the contact with him.

Shinji decided to pretend everything was fine, until he could learn some more about the boy in front of him. Until he could figure out exactly how he felt about him.

From all the crazy schemes

"Oh, no…I'm okay, Kaworu-kun…nothing to worry about!" he said, a lot more enthusiastically than he had initially wanted to. "It's probably just the weather" he added more calmly.

"If you say so…" Kaworu obviously didn't believe him. "It is cold, you are right"

He seemed to have just noticed the freezing temperature himself. The silver-haired young man took off his gray school jacket and placed it on Shinji's shoulders.

"Is that better?" he asked smiling.

"Oh, yes, arigato…" Shinji murmured and looked away.

They kept walking through the city's dark streets in silence. The sullen storm clouds above them made the afternoon even colder. Without the tender embrace of the Sun, Shinji felt saddened. Like a lot of people, the weather affected his mood deeply.

The brunette glanced at the silver-haired teen walking silently beside him and wondered just for a second, what it would be like to be protected by those strong arms, to be lost in Kaworu-kun's tender embrace…

Suddenly, a girl yelled and shook him out of his daydreaming. "Hey, look at that!"

For some mysterious reason, both Shinji and Kaworu turned around to see what the girl was pointing out to her friend.

"What's that?" Asked the other girl, who must have been eleven years old, and sounded even more disturbed. Almost every eye landed on the spot she was pointing at.

What made it more frightening, in Shinji's opinion, was that it seemed too perfect. In the middle of the thick clouds, there was a perfect round hole. It looked as it was at least a mile away from them. The sunlight went through it and fell on the city, almost like a spotlight in a theatre. It looked unnatural.

Kaworu had also spotted the light. At the very moment the girl had spoke, he had felt a pressure on his chest. He now watched the light, waiting and holding his breath. And then he heard it.

"…..Tabris….."

With widened eyes he looked in every direction. The people around him were commenting about the strange phenomenon before them. No one had heard the voice except Kaworu.

At that exact moment, the hole on the clouds started moving. Not the slow movement of a cloud when the wind carries it. No, this was different, the movement was intentional and fast. And it came directly towards Kaworu.

"…..Tabris……"

The voice in his head became louder. They were looking for him. And they had found him.

You traded in your wings

All Kaworu could think about now was getting out of there. They were going to catch him and…he didn't want to think about what was going to happen to him when they did.

"…..TABRIS…….."

The voice became even louder, but still sounded like a whisper. As if someone had recorded a whisper and then played it too loud.

Kaworu's head was aching and he felt crushed by an invisible force. He recovered in a second from the shock and did he only thing he could do. He grabbed Shinji's wrist and ran. He tried to avoid the cylinder of light by running perpendicularly to its original direction. But it was useless, the light redirected itself and started following a desperate Kaworu and a shocked Shinji.

For everything freedom brings

"……Tabris……running away is useless….."

Kaworu was in panic, he was panting and his whole body had gone, if possible, even paler. Shinji nearly fell more than once, but that didn't slow Kaworu's pace. He tightened his grip on Shinji's wrist so hard that the brunette's fingers went numb.

"Kaworu-kun! What are you doing?!?" Shinji screamed in pain and exhaustion.

Kaworu didn't turn around, he simply quickened his pace, forcing Shinji to follow him.

"Run, Shinji-kun, RUN!" Kaworu's voice sounded so terrified and desperate that it scared Shinji. He obeyed -well, it wasn't as if he had any option- and ran as fast as he could. But, Shinji didn't have an Angel's energy, and after a minute or so, he couldn't keep going.

"I can't! Stop! You're hurting me, I can't go on!" Shinji stopped and fell to his knees.

Kaworu did turn around this time, eyes widening in sheer terror as he noticed how close the light was now. Shinji was panting.

You never left me

"Shinji-kun! Stand up!" Kaworu's arms wrapped around Shinji's body.

He didn't wait for an answer. With an incredible strength for such a slender figure he picked Shinji up and carried him into the closest alley he could find. And all in only a second.

Inside the alley, Kaworu crouched and pressed himself against the wall, pinning Shinji with his arms, legs and whole body. Shinji tried to lift his head to see what was happening but Kaworu held him tighter and whispered on his ear.

"Shinji-kun…close your eyes….Onegai…trust me, close your eyes"

Shinji found himself doing as Kaworu instructed. He closed his eyes fiercely and let Kaworu's embrace protect him from whatever it was out to get them. Kaworu stayed still as the light passed only a feet away from where they were hiding.

He kept hearing his name until the light was far away. When he finally felt safe, or at least safer, he released Shinji and rested his own back against the cold wall. The brunette slowly faced Kaworu.

"What was that? Why did we have to run like that?" He questioned and pierced Kaworu with his blue eyes.

The Angel stared back and watched Shinji's shocked expression as tears flooded his scarlet eyes.

"Are you ok, Kaworu-kun?"

Kaworu reached out to Shinji's face and stroked the brunette's cheek, quite like he had done the night before, enjoying every moment he could touch Shinji. The Angel's touch was sweet, feather-like and gentle. Shinji just couldn't manage to pull away as he had done earlier. Instead, he started crying too.

You never let me

See what this feeling means

The silver-haired boy wiped away Shinji's tears.

"It doesn't matter. What matters is that we are fine. That you are fine."

With that he embraced Shinji with his arms and held him as tight as he could without hurting him.

"I was so afraid, Shinji-kun" Kaworu whispered between his tears. "I was so afraid of losing you"

Shinji slid his hands to Kaworu's back, and returned his affectionate hug.

Everything that you feel

Is everything that I feel

So when we dream…we shout.

………………………………

What's going on with me? What happened today? What was that…that light? And Kaworu-kun acted so….so unlike himself! And he said he was afraid of losing me?… Why?

Shinji's train of thought was interrupted by the sound of the phone ringing. He got out of the bathtub, without even bothering on putting a towel around himself.

Dripping wet. "Coming!" he said to no one. He picked up the phone and spoke. "Kawashi residence"

"Shin-chan! I hope I didn't wake you up!" The old woman's soft voice sounded almost out of place in the middle of Shinji's confusion.

"No, you didn't, Asami-san! It's so good to hear your voice again" He missed the old lady so much, even though it had been only a week since she left.

"I miss you too, Shin-chan. I had forgotten how boring all these old people can be!" she chuckled "how's school?"

"Oh, It's fine." Shinji smiled. "We have a new classmate" How could he be sad with this woman in his life?

"I've spoken with your sensei, she says it's ok if you go to the trip. So enjoy, Shin-chan!"

Shinji sighed. He had forgotten about the trip.

"Is everything ok?" Asami-san seemed to notice something was bothering him.

"Oh, it's just about the new classmate…he's got me a bit worried" Shinji looked down and sighed again.

"Really, why?" Asami's voice was serious and flat. Shinji had the feeling that Daichi-san and Asami had talked of more than just the trip.

"We've become friends, but he acts weird sometimes…" Shinji decided he didn't know how to explain it so he decided to leave it a that. "It's probably nothing"

Asami was silent.

You say it's so complex

"Shin-chan, why don't you ask Kaworu to join us for dinner this Saturday?" Asami tried to sound casual, but her concern was obvious.

Shinji noticed that he hadn't told her Kaworu's name.

"I'll be home this Thursday"

"You'll be home on Thursday? Weren't you staying until next Monday?"

Shinji decided to ignore her offer of asking Kaworu to come. He couldn't bare it if Asami didn't like Kaworu, even though it was very unlikely.

Kaworu-kun is lovely, there's no way anyone could dislike him…

Passion can pass for less

"I was, but the philharmonic is playing in Osaka this Friday and there's no chance in the world that I will miss it." Her voice was joyful again. She spoke about classical music in the same way a teenager speaks of their favorite rock band. She had at least a hundred classical music CDs.

"Oh, that's great! I'll see you on Thursday then!"

Shinji heard the doorbell ringing.

"Don't play silly with me, Shin-chan! Ask Kaworu to come on Saturday! Or better yet, ask him to come on Friday for dinner, and if he likes the idea, he can come with us to the concert."

It sounded like a command. Perhaps because it was one.

"Ok, I will, don't worry. Sayounara, Asami-san!"

The doorbell rang a second time.

"Sayounara, Shin-chan, take care" Shinji smiled and hung the phone.

He hurried towards the door. Who could it be this late? The clock announced it was 10 p.m. already. Shinji stopped when he was about to open the door. He was still naked.

Laughing hard at the idea of almost opening the door to a complete stranger, completely naked and completely wet, he grabbed a towel from the bathroom and put it around his waist then half-opened the door.

He was surprised to see Mai standing outside.

"Shinji, I'm sorry about the hour…I need to talk to you" She wasn't smiling.

"Ok, just give me a minute to put something on" Shinji answered.

"You are undressed? Is this a bad time? I can comeback later…Is Kaworu with you?" the girl widened her brown eyes and seemed to be willing to hang herself if he answered yes to the last question.

Shinji sighed. I wonder why, did she bring Kaworu-kun into the conversation when I said I was naked…

"No, I was taking a bath actually. And before you ask, no, Kaworu-kun is not waiting for me in the bathtub." He heard the girl laughing as he went to his room to put some clothes on.

"I'm sorry to hear that, but I guess your regret is bigger than mine" she answered playfully.

After a minute, Shinji reappeared and let her in. He was still pulling a t-shirt over his head when they both sat on the sofa. The same one Shinji had fallen asleep on the night before.

"So, what do you want to tell me?" Shinji inquired.

"I wanted to talk to you…about Kaworu." the girl said gravely. Shinji rolled his eyes.

"I'm listening" he answered. But nothing could have prepared him for what he heard.

"I think I may have fallen for Kaworu." Mai stared at her feet nervously, but did not blush.

"What? What do you mean?" Shinji was astonished, dumbfounded, startled, shocked and any other word that means he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "But I thought you were…I thought you said you were…."

"I also thought that. But I love Kaworu. I told him today. I've just came from his place" The girl seemed uncomfortable. "He loves me too, Shinji. He said he loved me too."

He loves her? He loves her? No, no, it can't be true. He can't love her!

"I thought you should know…"Mai stood up and headed towards the door.

Shinji couldn't fight back his tears.

But then, the short-haired girl turned around, with the widest of smiles on her face. "You should have seen your face!!!!!" she laughed and threw herself back on the sofa.

Shinji stared at her, puzzled. "What?" was all he could manage to say.

"Just kidding!" She chuckled at Shinji's face of disbelief. "See, I knew you would never admit you like the boy, so I decided to fool you and see how you reacted to the typical jealousy scene. But I was wrong" she frowned. "You don't just like him, it goes far deeper than that since you're already crying" she stated.

"So you are not with him?" Shinji asked, relieved.

"Not at all. I mean, Shinji, I thought you knew me… Kaworu and I? C'mon… He's totally yours!" she smiled brightly and clapped her hands.

"You are such a bitch." Shinji rubbed his tears away.

"Surely I am. So, what do you feel about him?" she smiled proudly and stared at him.

We never bothered

Shinji evaluated her question. Was he feeling something for Kaworu-kun? Was he feeling something for another boy? He had felt a stabbing pain when Mai had said Kaworu loved her. He had felt betrayed. Hopelessness, loneliness, sadness, disappointment.

Telling each other

"Do you love him?" Mai asked, her face expressionless.

"I don't know…." Shinji answered. "It could be"

He sighed. Why am I taking it so calmly? I've just admitted I may love another boy! And here you are, baka Shinji Ikari, calm and relaxed! Bakabakabakabaka!

"You know what?" Shinji looked up. "Kaworu loves you" the girl said it like it was something obvious and known. Like she was saying 'summers are hot'. "I've never seen someone so in love". Shinji blushed but said nothing.

What we were bound to guess

"Look, let me tell you something" she got a bit closer to him. "Some time ago, I knew someone that truly loved me"

Shinji looked up at her. She had never told him about that part of her life.

"But I was scared. I had never experienced love in my life. I felt the same as you, but I hadn't noticed. I didn't think I deserved to be loved by such a wonderful person. I didn't believe I was good enough…so I left."

Shinji stared at Mai. "And what happened?"

Mai smiled at Shinji's question. She felt like a mother telling her child a story before going to bed.

"I never saw that person again. I broke the heart of the only person that loved me. That truly loved me. I lost a friend, the one I loved and my only chance to find happiness. I'm sure that I would have been safe and cared for. But I left. I didn't fight for what I wanted." She wiped away the tears that had just appeared on her eyes.

Shinji said nothing. In six months, he had never seen his friend cry.

"Can you promise something to me, Shinji?" she asked and Shinji nodded. "Promise me you won't be a coward like I was. Promise me you'll go after Kaworu, because I know you love him."

"I will, I won't runaway, Mai" he answered firmly.

"Good" she said. Mai stood up and slowly went out of Shinji's house.

………………………………

The girl didn't notice the most beautiful crimson eyes following her as she walked out of her friend's house. Kaworu had been sitting on a nearby house's roof all along, since he had left Shinji at his home, five hours ago.

What could he possibly do know?

I cannot risk Shinji…I can't.. If I stay here with him, if I remain close to him, they could come for us at anytime. And they could hurt him… Kaworu sighed. There was no way he was going to let that happen.

A familiar feeling invaded him. His heart-beat accelerated, his muscles tensed, and his mouth filled with a sour taste. A feeling similar to that of being in the middle of the sea and watching idly as a giant wave comes towards oneself. One knows it's impossible to resist.

Fear and sadness fell on him. He didn't want to give up. It was a simple but awful feeling: despair.

I'd just wish I could kiss you goodbye, Shinji

It would be like last time, when he had kissed Shinji just before he went to activate Eva 02.

So this is the destiny for those who defied Your Will? For those that survived the Divine Punishment? It's a cruel irony, that I was able to win against Death, able to escape Your Punishment. Able to betray YOU, all for his sake, and now for his sake, I must leave him… The eternity of Hell couldn't diminish my feelings for Shinji, You were unable to stop my coming back. But now, I find myself faced with the same choice I had last time.

Last time he had chosen Shinji's life over his, over the Divine Will, over his brethren. He had sacrificed everything he had, everything he was, everything that had ever meant something to him, for the feelings the young Lilim had awakened in him. And he had smiled, during his last moments, for he knew he had made the right choice.

Now he didn't know anymore.

Will anybody care?

Kaworu stood up and jumped to the street deciding to at least see Shinji one last time. He flinched at the thought.

But something seemed to freeze him. It was a terrible feeling, like time had just stopped and left him behind, just watching. Like he had been tied with invisible ropes. He tried to scream but his mouth wouldn't open; he tried to run but his legs weren't listening to his wishes. Somehow his brain was disconnected from his body. A stabbing pain pierced him when a familiar voice spoke.

"….Tabris…."

The silver-haired boy fell to his knees, the restriction to his movements suddenly gone. The voice he had forgotten long ago, the presence he couldn't recognize earlier.

His brother, how could he have not recognized him? Kaworu was confused. Should he try to speak to his brother? Something inside told him it was okay. And so he tried to find out what was that the other Angel wanted.

"Arael." Kaworu whispered, doubtful. He could sense him. He was close, but where?

"…Tabris….stop this now…..you are only making this harder on yourself…"

Kaworu's red eyes half-closed in wariness and anger.

We could go anywhere

"Stop what? All I want is my freedom." He said, defiant..

"…Running away is useless, you know that….if you disobey the will again…"

The voice was threatening but soft, like Arael was only warning him of what was unavoidable. Kaworu said nothing.

"…comeback with me…I shall do everything within my power to make your punishment less severe…."

Kaworu thought Arael sounded like one of those Lilim prosecutors when they were trying to set a plea bargain with a dangerous criminal.

"No" the silver-haired boy stared at the empty street and spoke firmly.

"…Do you prefer this?…"

His mind started racing from memory to memory:

A pale five years old boy, sitting alone in a white, empty bedroom. Alone.

A group of scientist studying a seven years old kid that floated inside a tube.

A teenager being told about the mission he should perform for the organization that captured him.

The same teenager sitting on a partially sunk statue, humming Ode To Joy.

The teenager crying silently as he watched a brown-haired boy sleep on the extra mattress on the floor beside his bed.

The brown-haired boy screaming 'you betrayed me! You betrayed my heart!'

A last smile before the giant hand of Eva 01 closed.

A soul trapped in his own obsession.

The brown-haired teenager crying.

Unending hallways, eternally high walls, complete darkness, and profound silence.

And a voice, 'How do you know my name?'

"…Your whole existence is miserable, Tabris… don't risk yourself anymore…"

"Stop it" Kaworu was screaming and his whole body was shaking so violently that his tears landed everywhere. The disturbing images were still breaking into his mind. Arael was right, his whole life on Earth had been miserable…until he met Shinji. "I've suffered enough! I've paid for my crime!"

Going through dangers

"…surrender now, Tabris….you don't want to risk the Lilim, do you?…"

Kaworu shivered and got up in a blink of an eye. "Don't you dare touch Shinji!" he pointed at the sky accusingly "If you harm him, you'll see how desperate I am!"

"…I cannot make any promises…consider my offer, Tabris…."

Kaworu almost laughed. "Why are you here anyway?"

There was a deep silence before Arael answered. Like he was somehow trying to find an answer he himself didn't know.

"….you are Fallen. You are not who you used to be…Can't you see?…"

"Damare" Kaworu let the word take on all of his anger. "I am not coming back. I may be Fallen, but I still can put up a good fight against all of you!" the silver-haired boy's rage was something worth seeing. He hadn't even notice he was panting. "No one will ever tell Tabris, of Freewill, what to do!" he added, furiously.

"Tabris….I'm trying to help you….I beg you, come with me. Come back to where you belong…."

Arael's voice softened to the point he resembled a mother telling her scared child that there was no boogie man and everything was going to be fine.

"Go home, Arael" Kaworu sighed and softened his voice. "I can't go back. I need Shinji" he smiled to the sky.

"…You are already one of them…"

Arael's tone was of hopelessness, it was hard to accept Tabris was a lost case. The silver-haired angel smiled again. It was a sad smile. He knew Arael wanted to help, but he could no longer be helped.

Talking to strangers

"…Is that so?….Do you really love this Lilim so much?…"

Kaworu sighed and glanced over at Shinji's house. "You should know him. He has the most beautiful soul I've ever seen. He is worth everything" His scarlet eyes were almost sparkling as he talked about Shinji.

"…I am not capable of understanding you…"

Kaworu looked down. He was still smiling and tears were shining in his eyes.

"Perhaps you never will. I am sorry. Go home, Arael, this isn't your fight"

And just like that his brother's presence disappeared.

I've made up my mind, Shinji. I will stay with you. No one, nothing will be able to stop me.. I swear I will protect you. And if Heaven disagrees…let Heaven fall on me, I'll defeat every one of them for your sake.

Will there be someone there?