Ok, so here I am again... I'm terribly sorry for the long wait, I realize it's been a while since I last uploaded. But I had a bit of Writter's block and I have been quite busy """

I hope you forgive me one day! Also I don't know how long would it be till I get a new chapter for you, so please try to be patient!

I think there isn't anything else to say... well the song is a translation of t.A.T.u.'s Vsya Moya Lyubov'... but the lyrics aren't complete because they were too long...

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to all my readers and reviewers (Thank U!!) and especially to Lord Saturn, who makes my day everytime he writes to me

Disclaimer: I couldn't get Shinji and Kaworu for my birthday, so I guess they and NGE still belong to Gainax. Also the song belongs to t.A.T.u.

The Messengers of Darkness

"I don't understand... be heard?"

An array of emotions

Kaworu didn't understand anything the girl was saying. Mai blinked funnily in surprise, then smiled and clapped her hands, quickly putting her mp3 player safe on her jeans' pocket.

"Well, Kaworu, it's in your best interests that we're not overheard!" she answered happily.

Kaworu was totally astonished. He looked around them, to the deserted street, and wondered even more about what the girl was talking about.

It might have been just an impression, but he thought he saw Mai's smile fade when he did that.

But, as he realized arguing was useless, he decided to lead the girl inside the block of flats.

Distortion

Once they were inside the lift, she smiled again without looking at him.

"Shinji doesn't't trust you." Kaworu almost jumped, startled by the meaning of her words

"At least, not completely."

He gave her a questioning look and she only sighed, still smiling.

"What do you mean?" Said Kaworu when he realized she was not going to give further explanations. She stepped out of the lift and stood still on the fifth floor for a second, before adding:

"He has his doubts about you." And then she kept walking until she reached Kaworu's flat door. He walked to her slowly and unlocked the door, letting her enter the flat first.

"But… he does love you." She gazed at the inside of the flat. It was medium sized and Kaworu had rented it before he went to Shinji's school for the first time. As he entered his own flat, he thought about how unbelievably cold-blooded he had been, renting a flat, buying himself clothes and food, before running into Shinji's arms. It all seemed so strange now. But, really, he thought trying hard to supress a smile, the strangest thing now was that he was still able to surprise himself.

"You have a very nice place" she sentenced, finally. She didn't seem surprised not to find anybody inside.

"What do you mean? How do you know all that?" Kaworu said, trying not to sound too upset and failing miserably.

"What? That your flat is nice? I know simply because I've got eyes and good taste." she stated, matter-of-factly. But after the warning look Kaworu shot at her she added:

"A woman can tell, It's called female intuition, you know." She wasn't smiling anymore.

"So, what is this? A woman-to-man talk? You are trying to say that I should better not prove Shinji right?" he answered, trying to sound amused and carefree. "Are you making sure I don't hurt him?"

I am and I am not

"No" she replied honestly. "He can take care of himself." She whispered, like dismissing the fact.

"I thought you had acknowledged my feelings for him as genuine. I only long for his well-being." he declared, still uncertain of what she meant with the conversation.

"Of course." She admitted, absent-mindedly, like dismissing the fact as something perfectly known. "But, he doesn't know that. He doesn't know you love him." She added thoughtfully after a pause. "But" she finished. "I do."

I'm censing myself

The silver-haired teenager was at a loss for words. Everyone had told him that Mai was quite weird, but this conversation was really getting on his nerves.

"And your point is?" he said ignoring her last statement.

"You see, this means, then, that I know you both love each other." Mai answered simply, holding up her fore and middle finger.

At that point Kaworu was certain that the girl wasn't 'quite weird'. She was totally nuts.

"Anyway, that's not important… the important thing here is that you should show Shinji there's still good people out there…" she sighed. "Don't you think, Kaworu?" she looked at him. It might had been only Kaworu's tired brain impression, but she pronounced his name in a rather strange way.

At the rivers in your sleep

Kaworu said nothing, and Mai only kept staring at him for a minute that seemed eternal. He had the totally strange idea that she was trying to tell him something.

"Well, I have to go now… Kaworu, I'll see you on Monday, I guess…" she smiled, finishing the awkward silence that had landed between them. Then she giggled for no apparent reason. The silver-haired boy knew this time I wasn't a trick played by his own mind, the girl's laugh was oddly familiar to him. She turned around and he followed her, in order to walk her to the door.

Small fires and snow

When the two teenagers were on the street again, they bowed to each other.

"Sayounara, Kaworu" Mai said, returning to her usual happy-go-lucky self as she put on her earphones.

"Sayounara, Mai" he answered, trying to hide his concern. She walked a few steps and then turned around.

"Kaworu" He looked up to her, she was standing some feet away, holding the earphones on her right hand. "Please, be careful." she said simply.

I hide and spin

I spin myself

And she was gone, walking away slowly, humming another song, before he even had time to answer. Gone, leaving a stunned angel behind.

………………………………...

Mai's strange words seemed to be stuck in his head for the rest of the day. And for the following day too. He kept trying to understand what she had meant to say, but he couldn't. He spent his Saturday pretending to be tidying his room or cleaning, but all he could truly think about was what she had said to him. However he has unable to extract any more meaning to the words.

Whatever she said, it seemed to him that the conversation had been nothing more than a warning for him. To make sure he wouldn't hurt her precious Shinji. That was the only sensible explanation he could think of, and he decided to leave it at that.

And the river sparkles

And the bridges flash by

It was on Sunday's afternoon that he decided to forget about that and pay Shinji a little visit.

He had been resisting such impulse the previous day, knowing that his beloved brunette would be working on his part-time job. But now, he had nothing preventing him from seeing the boy.

He wondered what he could possibly say to Shinji after what had happened between them. What could possibly Shinji say to him…

How was it going to be now? He had never imagined himself in a relationship with Shinji, he had never though he would have that chance. It had always been something impossible, something unreachable. And now...

It all seemed unreal, the way things had turned out for him. The way he had gotten his second chance. No, their second chance. Not for Kaworu alone, but for Kaworu and Shinji.

After being confined for so long, after all the suffering he had experienced, after the darkness, the silence and the nothingness, love awaited for him at the end of the road.

How ironic, that the Angel of Freewill had been the one deprived of it. 'Freewill', it had just been a word to him, a mere title. It had meant nothing after the second he laid his eyes on Shinji. Nothing.

Freewil was non-existant. Only Shinji's will mattered. Freewill was nothing. It hadn't been enough to let Kaworu stay by Shinji's side.

It was completely and absolutely nothing to him now. His mission, his Purpose, his name... he had long ago forgotten all those things that he had hold dear once.

Now, he was like any other human teenager. The only thing shadowing his life was the great amount of homework the teachers left him. And as any other human teenager, Kaworu was in love.

Well, homework was almost his only concern...

He felt really light-hearted as he walked to Shinji's house. He refused to use the public transport since his encounter with Arael. The idea of being trapped among a crowd of unsuspecting Lilims, vulnerable to any attack wasn't really a nice perspective for him.

And two small animals slide by

In an empty catafalque

He was so lost in thought and in memories, his mind was so busy with his immediate concern of what he would tell Shinji and what he would do once he wa sin front of him that he didn't notice how as he walked towards Shinji's house the streets were gradually getting emptier and emptier. Until there was no one around him.

But then, he heard the voice and he couldn;t ignore that fact anymore...

" So, we finally meet, Tabris…" this time the voice was entirely human. Or if it wasn't, it was a very good impersonation of a human voice. "Or, shall I say, Nagisa Kaworu, as you like to call yourself these days?"

The silver-haired angel turned around but saw nothing. He looked over the empty streets with no result. The voice laughed, and as it had happened with Mai, the sound was quite familiar. Kaworu was sure he had already heard the voice before. Yet, unlike Mai's laugh which seemed to spread happiness and light around her, the feeling the starnger's laugh gave him was one of sheer evil, of darkness, and Death.

The voice was a male voice, low and incredibly soft, even if it now intended to be threatening.

The man spoke again.

"Do you actually think me stupid enough as to not hide myself from you?" he seemed rather amused. "Don't they teach you to never underestimate your enemies at Angel's school? Or did you just fail the subject?"

"I don't even know who you are" protested Kaworu, disregarding the joke.

"Apparently they don't teach you manners either." said the voice and after a pause, added "If you don't know who I am, then you need to think harder… my identity, however, is not important, my job is."

The voice, Kaworu noticed, was a real sound. No telepathic message would be able to send shivers down his spine the way this man's voice did. It wasn't loud, but it seemed to fill the air completely. Surrounding him. Choking him.

"Right, then, who sent you? And what is it that you want?" asked the silver-haired boy.

"How rude, Tabris… shall I call you Tabris or Kaworu? Which one do you prefer?" he answered, in a tone that made Kaworu doubt if he was joking or if he really wanted an answer.

"I asked you a question." Kaworu pointed, deciding to ignore the one he had been asked.

"Yes, you did." the voice admitted. "I am not 'sent' by anyone…" he said resentfully, like the sole idea of being 'sent' was the worst thing that could ever happen to him. "I am no servant of that God of yours… I am nothing more than a simple messenger, but, like you, I own Freewill. However, unlike you, I do not owe obedience to the Light, but I guess you don't do that anymore, either…" He said thoughtfully. He stopped for a second and then added "My mission is you."

Kaworu felt his whole body freezing as the sudden realization hit him. He breathed heavily and spoke:

"Have… have you come to take me?"

"Take you? No, no, no… I do not like to think of myself as the one who does your God's dirty jobs" he put emphasis on the word 'your', as if he really didn't want misunderstandings on that matter "… all I am required to do is find you." he stopped and the crimson-eyed boy felt as if his blood had gone cold. "I understand you quite well, Tabris." the voice added.

"Don't you dare say you understand me! You!… Nobody understands me!" Kaworu screamed. It offended him that such a creature would compare himself to him. It was like an insult.

"Already acting like Lilim teenagers, aren't we?" Kaworu could almost see the smirk on the man's face. " I do understand you. It's awfully simple, actually." said the voice, matter-of-factly. "You fell in love with a Lilim.

Kaworu waited, but said nothing.

"You were Tempted, Tabris of Freewill, and you Fell. There's nothing more to it than that." he said gravely.

"Maybe I was" Kaworu smiled. "But then it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me." The crimson-eyed teenager whispered. "And I have no intention of returning with any of you." he finished.

"Indeed." said the voice. "But, the thing is, my dear Tabris, that the guy upstairs has a tendency to take this kind of things personally… And I have to take you back." the voice finished, thoughtfully.

You won't roll away

Kaworu felt the danger even before the man had made a move. He was faster and he had already come up with a plan, or a desperate attempt at surviving.

He started running towards the most crowded place he could think of, choosing a super market that was two blocks away. As an Angel (or better said, former Angel) he knew well that a creature sent by Him would never dare to show its true self in front of a Lilim again. Not after the Evas.

As he ran, he watched as the lights of the streets went out. To the corner of his eye, he could see a dark, tall figure walking, almost sliding, towards him. Fighting would have been useless, since the creature had been sent to get him it was a certainty that it could beat him.

The man didn't have the chance to attempt a single attack. The silver-haired angel had already disappeared behind a house.

Sorry, everything's been erased

The man cursed softly. He was just about to shoot a random attack out of rage when a hand grabbed his wrist.

"Don't waste your energy, it's no use." said the woman that had just appeared beside him.

The man turned to the tall, slim figure. She was just as tall as he was. Her figure was beautiful but strong. Delicate, and at the same time, determined.

"You are right." He admitted. They both spoke in a language unknown for humans. A language different from any other spoken in Earth. Or in Heaven. "You escaped now, Tabris, but then… who knows what would happen next time?" he said to no one, smirking widely.

"I reckon he would do anything for that Lilim…" said the woman, her voice full of concern. " He won't be an easy prey." she finished.

"But... you already know that, don't you?"

The man frowned. What could they do, after all? He did understand how Tabris felt. He understood it too well.

"We will see." he replied vaguely. And, as suddenly as they had appeared, they both vanished from view.

Kaworu, on the meanwhile, was already deep inside the downtown area. He decided it was better to stay there for a little while, just to make sure he wouldn't be followed back home. Actually, he was just trying to recover from the shock.

Needless to say, the idea of visiting Shinji was totally abandoned. It was quite stupid, and he had to admit it, to think that they wouldn't know where Shinji lived. And even if the idea of Shinji being hunted down by this... being was already haunting him.

He shook his head. No, it was impossible. They all knew where Shinji was. If that man wanted to hurt Shinji, he would have already done so. Or probably used him as a bait to lure Kaworu. Or plainly blackmail him under the threat of killing Shinji. In any case, their intentions were probably very different. But he wouldn't visit Shinji today. It was a risk he didn't dare to take.

But it doesn't matter to him

He couldn't stop the odd feeling of déjà vu that had invaded him. That voice... he had heard it before. He knew it. It was foreign, but familiar at the same time. It seemed from a very long time ago... and also very recent. He knew he had heard that voice before.

But…where?

And a sudden thought made him scared to death.

What if the voice belonged to someone he knew, someone Shinji knew? What if someone had been sent to get him? Someone he or Shinji trusted, someone they knew, someone... that knew them.

He started thinking about everyone he had met since he had arrived to Osaka. Every classmate, every teacher, every employee of every store he had visited… but he found nothing. No one that he could associate with the voice.

Yet, the lack of evidence didn't make the possibility less horrifying. It was very likely that he had been watched from the very beginning.

'Then you need to think harder' had said the man… And he tried to, but nothing came up.

Blue, blue

He found himself staring at his own home incredibly soon.

It can't be

He thought as he entered his bedroom and laid on his bed.

It can't be…

----

It was already quarter to nine when Shinji finally arrived at school. The English class had started long ago, and when he slid the classroom's door open, he found his classmates all working in pairs. Another group of students, from another division were there too, since English classes were shared by the students from the three divisions.

He entered the room silently and was not noticed by anyone as he made his way to his desk. He passed Mai by, the girl was working with an attractive, blonde, light-blue-eyed girl, who has a lot taller than Mai.

Shinji waved at her and she smiled, pointing with her head to the end of the classroom. The blue-eyed teenager turned around and spotted the only student that was working alone, Kaworu Nagisa. Shinji sighed, but smiled to Mai, who winked at him mischievously. After that, he walked to the place where the silver-haired boy sat, staring at his English books with an obvious lack of interest.

"Ohayo, Kaworu-kun" Shinji said simply. A pair of crimson eyes lifted instantly from the book to stare at him, and a sincere smile enlightened the angel's pale features.

"Shinji-kun! I thought you weren't coming! What happened?" he said, still smiling, and watching the brunette placing his textbooks on his desk.

"Nothing really. I overslept." explained Shinji immediately. Of course, the lie had been rehearsed by him over ten times now. He had had plenty of time to come up with a credible explanation while he had been trying to make up his mind a block away from the school. While he had been deciding whether he would be able to face Kaworu now that a conversation about what happened seemed imminent.

The small ball will bounce

"So what are we supposed to do?" asked the blue-eyed boy with faked innocence and the silver-haired teenager started explaining the exercises, wondering why Shinji was acting like nothing had ever happened between them.

Without you and with you.

As minute after minute passed by, and they were done with the exercises, the angel began to worry.

This wasn't the same Shinji he had met at a lakeside back then at Tokyo-3. Running away, starting a new life, all seemed to have affected Shinji's personality deeply. The Shinji that longed for acceptance and care was gone. The boy that wanted a friend, someone who would love him more than anything else in the world didn't exist anymore. A Shinji that couldn't trust anyone, a suspicious, quiet boy had been born to replace him. The Shinji that had so eagerly accepted his feelings for a silver-haired boy and such silver-haired boy's feelings for him was…gone.

You won't return

Kaworu truly wondered if the change was due to the memory loss or to the sudden realization that he would have to face a life alone.

Sorry, everything's been erased

He hoped with all his heart that Shinji wasn't deliberately avoiding the subject of what had happened between them because he didn't want anything at all with him. He hoped so. He wished so.

Kaworu told himself (in true infatuated-school-girl style) that Shinji would probably try talking to him later, away from their classmates' ears.

Shinji, however, gave no signs of wanting a conversation of any kind with Kaworu. He intentionally ignored Kaworu and they remained silent, waiting for the class to finish the exercises.

But, as always happens when you are trying to avoid a conversation with a certain someone, you try desperately to concentrate on something else, hoping it would catch your attention and make you forget about such avoided conversation. And, being in a classroom full of students doing anything but class work, Shinji's options were unlimited.

The brunette decided to focus on a chat taking place two desks away from them. Miyagi Akina, her friends Konami Yuri and Chikamoto Nami, and Saito Yoshi were talking between them about their weekends.

"I was still able to go out on Friday night after the trip." Saito said proudly. Akina giggled.

"Still? What do you mean, still? You hardly did anything but play cards!" she pointed.

"Ha! Sorry to disappoint you, but I was playing football all the time and I ended up tired as Hell! While you, I recall, were laying your ass on a bench and gossiping…" he answered and the brown-haired girl frowned at him playfully.

And all the kittens

"For your information, I was merely chatting with the girls, and after Kaworu and Ikari were gone to have lunch with Yonamine, we had lunch and we spent the rest of the time playing sports too." she argued.

"She didn't eat with them." Yuri said. It was the first time Shinji heard her speak after she had called them and told them to exit the forest.

"How do you know that?" Nami asked and Yuri blushed from tip to toe, regretting her previous statement.

"Well, she entered the woods with Nakatani, so I guess she must have had lunch with him, Ikari and Nagisa…" she tried to explain, desperately. Kaworu, whose attention had also been drawn to the conversation, wondered how the blonde girl was going to get out of this one. "And…I mean, when we got here, Yonamine introduced Ikari and Nagisa to Nakatani… She wouldn't have introduced him to them if they had had lunch together, would she?" she finished triumphant.

"Sounds like you've been staring at them for quite a while." said Nami raising an eyebrow. Akina and Saito giggled.

"I reckon she is right." Akina said. "Yonamine wouldn't let a chance to corner Nakatani go. She's always following him around…" she commented.

"He follows her around." whispered Saito, so low that Akina didn't hear him. And judging by his tone, he hadn't intended her to.

"Anyway, those two are definitely up to something…" Saito added.

"Or she is up to something. Yonamine has a tendency for cute boys, if you ask me… First Nakatani, then Ikari and now… Kaworu!" Akina answered in a very low voice.

"Look who's been staring now…" Yuri whispered, now fully recovered from the shock of having to give explanations she wasn't prepared to give.

"Oh, c'mon, you have to be really blind to notice how many boys she keeps around her." Akina protested, waving her hand like dismissing the accusation.

"And we haven't mentioned this boy from class 3-a… I think his name is Imai…" said Nami. "There he is." she pointed with her head to the front of the classroom, where, to Shinji and Kaworu's surprise, a black-haired, tall boy was in fact talking to Mai, giggling, smiling, and, well you get the idea, giving the wrong impression.

"Summarizing, she wants them all." Nami concluded.

"Summarizing, she's a bitch." Saito translated closing his blue eyes with a satisfied expression, and the three girls giggled.

"She's not like that." Shinji's harsh voice was a bit too loud.

The four of them turned to stare at him, obviously noticing how close he was to them for the first time.

"You don't know her." he hissed, Kaworu was shocked at the anger the brunette's voice showed. The change in Shinji's personality was now more obvious than ever. The silver-haired boy kept looking at Shinji, then at the girls and Saito, like it was some sort of strange tennis match. "She's not with Kaworu and she is definitely not with me."

"And what about Nakatani and Imai?" Akina asked. She didn't seem intimidated by Shinji's tone of warning.

"She's not with any of them. I know her better than you do, you've hardly spoken to her at all!" Shinji answered rising his voice.

"Ikari, Miyagi, please! I require silence" The teacher, Mrs. Satou said in her eloquent English, but Akina ignored her.

"You don't know that… I don't really care, actually, you can block the truth out all you want, but one day you'll have to face the fact that she's after you and Kaworu." Akina said, and even her friends stared in shock at her, reluctant to believe she had actually had the guts to say that to Shinji.

"Shinji-kun, please…let it go…" Kaworu pleaded softly.

"No, I won't just let it go!" Shinji said without even looking at the angel. He then turned to Akina. "I do know! And I know she's not 'after' any of us! Just because you are too stupid to understand friendship does occur between boys and girls it doesn't make it untrue! And just because you are that kind of bitch it doesn't mean she has to be one too!"

At that point every single person in the classroom was staring at them. Even Mai, her blonde friend and her other friend Imai. And by the look on her face, she perfectly knew what they were talking about.

"Ikari!" the teacher said, shocked at this outburst from one of her best students. "Please, get out! I won't tolerate such vocabulary in my class! Go and explain yourself to the headmistress."

"Happily." Shinji grunted before exiting the room, to everyone's shock.

Trapped in a madhouse

After that the whole class started chatting and within a minute everybody knew what it had been all about.

"Yeah, he totally lost it, we were just joking about Yonamine" Saito explained to his friend Ri.

"A man has to stand up for his girlfriend, you know." Ri answered. "Specially if you were accusing her of infidelity!" they both chuckled.

"Mai and Shinji are not together. They are just good friends." Kaworu said as quietly as his anger and shock allowed him to.

"Then why did he get so angry about it?" Aizawa had joined the conversation.

"Because she is his friend, and you called her a bitch." Kaworu hissed, annoyed but still calm. The surprise slowly faded away in his mind, allowing the anger he felt take control "And last time I checked, friends cared for each other."

"Oh sorry, Nagisa, I forgot Ikari was your boyfriend…" Aizawa laughed. Kaworu raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"What the hell? He is dating both Yonamine and Nagisa? And we called her a bitch!" Saito commented and some of the students surrounding them laughed. But not Kaworu, who stood up.

"You little piece of…" he started but the teacher interrupted.

"Nagisa! Please!" said the woman, feeling her opinion of Kaworu dropping to the floor. She had liked the boy initially, he had such a perfect English… "Follow Ikari and explain your attitude to the headmistress too!" she finished.

"Why don't you say anything to them? They won't leave Mai and Shinji alone!" he protested.

"Out, Nagisa, if you please." said the teacher, and with a final glare, the angel left the room.

Like a game of spinning tops

He went downstairs to the office of the headmistress, still feeling his blood boiling after knocking the door.

If he had been any calmer, or if he had been more like his usual self, he would have noticed how human he had become lately. The fire he felt on his veins was new to him, for Tabris of Freewill didn't have the need of feeling angry. An Angel was powerful enough to always get what he wanted. And if you always get what you want, the possibilities of anger are almost zero.

Shinji was there sitting on a chair placed in front of the headmistress' desk. He widened his eyes when Kaworu entered.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Detention" Kaworu muttered. When Shinji stared questioningly again he added "They hadn't had enough with Mai, so they started picking on you too." He sat besides Shinji. The brunette smiled weakly but his smile faded almost instantly and he looked away, apparently regretting the gesture.

At that moment, Sasaki entered the room, and lifted both her eyebrows at the sight.

"Ikari-kun? Nagisa-kun? What happened?" she inquired taking sit behind her desk and taking off her glasses.

"I insulted Miyagi Akina, sensei." Shinji said simply "To be specific, I called her a bitch" he added, without showing any problem with saying such word in front of the blonde headmistress.

"And why would you do that?" she asked.

"Miyagi insulted Yonamine Mai." He explained flatly.

"And then why isn't Miyagi-san here?" The blonde woman asked measuring Shinji's answers carefully.

"She wasn't heard by the teacher. I was" Shinji finished. Kaworu was shocked to see such a rebellious attitude in the foormer docile, shy and tender Shinji.

"And what about you?" she turned to Kaworu, apparently satisfied by Shinji's explanation.

"After Shinji-kun left they started insulting him too, so I answered back." Kaworu said simply, recovering quicly from the pleasant surprise of seeing the change in the brunette, with the same careless tone as Shinji.

"My dear boys… I have no option but to take action…" she said, truly sorry. "But I'll talk to Miyagi-san and your other classmates."

They both nodded and she added "I appreciate your honesty and I will take it into account. Now go and get some fresh air, calm down and return to class when you feel ready to."

"Thank you very much, sensei" They chorused and after bowing to her they exited the room.

Start spinning the game

"I think I'll go to the bathroom to calm down." Shinji muttered.

"Me too" Kaworu answered, feeling his rage evaporating. He wasn't going to allow this opportunity to corner Shinji go.

Seeing that he had no choice and/or escape Shinji entered the school's boys restroom followed by Kaworu.

"Shinji-kun…" Kaworu tried, but the blue eyed boy didn't lift his eyes from his hands, which he was washing like he was trying to wipe away his fingerprints. "Shinji-kun" he called again, getting the same reaction from the other boy. "Shinji"

The sudden surprise of hearing his name without the honorific from Kaworu's lips made it impossible not to answer this time.

All my love

"What" he replied harshly, drying his hands.

"Why are you so mad at me?" Kaworu asked softly.

"I'm not." replied Shinji avoiding eye contact at all means, yet his tone said otherwise.

"You and I know this has nothing to do with Mai or Akina." Kaworu said calmly "This is about you and me and what happened on Friday." He stated. Shinji made a indefinite sound, something between a 'hmp' and a 'ha', as an answer. "Isn't it?" Kaworu asked.

A moment of the deepest silence went by before Shinji answered.

An array of emotions

"It is, actually!" he hissed. "I'm so fucking tired of you beign all so mysterious, of you hiding things all the time, and your oh so confident attitude of expecting me to trust you no matter what!" He said, finally releasing all his anger. "You think you know me, Nagisa Kaworu! Well, here're some news, you know nothing about me! You can't expect me to trust you completely within a few weeks! You can't come out of nowhere into my life and kiss me out of the blue! And most of all, you can't pretend that I won't ask any questions!" He breathed " Who the hell are you?!" he finished furiously.

I'm in general not myself

"Shinji...I " Kaworu tried but he was interrupted.

"You what? What's going to be your perfect excuse this time?" Shinji bursted out.

Evidently, Shinji's attitude had changed incredibly. The little kid that longed desperately for love and affection was gone, leaving behind only an angry, lonely and suspicious teenager, that no longer welcomed friendliness from strangers. Shinji had changed, if for the better or the worse, Kaworu didn't know.

"I... Why don't you trust me? What have I done so wrong to make you so reluctanct to trust me?" Kaworu's soft voice contrasted with Shinji's angry shouts.

"Because you are always hiding something! You hardly say anything! You seem to know everyhting about me, yet I don't know a thing about you! Your family, your life, nothing!!" he shouted again.

"Shinji... My family is dead... I didn't know you wanted to know..." Kaworu started.

"That's not it! Why do you act so strange and mysterious all the time? Why nobody seems to know a thing about your life before you came to Osaka?" the brunette kept on yelling.

"My life? Shinji, you are my life... There is no such thing as a life for me before I came to Osaka, before I met you..." Kaworu said. Begged.

"How can I trust you?" Shinji added in the verge of tears.

The angel's heart seemed to ache terribly. A heavy burden seemed to grew more and more in his chest, making breathing difficult, slowing his heart beat... Was that what humans called Despair?

"I love you" Kaworu's voice was a whisper. "Please, believe me, I love you" he added in the same tone. " I can't do more than that... all I know is I love you..." He turned his back on Shinji and walked to the bathroom's door.

"Kaworu" the brunette called when the angel's hand was on the door.

"I love you too"

Kaworu turned around again. A pair of blue eyes met a pair of scarlet ones.

They stared at each other for a second that seemed eternal and during which they both felt complete, safe, at home... While they simply looked at the other's eyes, time seemed to passed them by, leaving them behind, only the two of them in a place where nothing existed but Ikari Shinji and Nagisa Kaworu.

The bathroom around them blurred, the sounds of the whole school vanished, the scent of soap faded away. Nothing existed for Kaworu, except for this boy, this blue-eyed brunette that had just told him that he loved him. And there was nothing else for Shinji, nothing else than Kaworu's soothing smile and piercing red eyes. At that very moment, they became timeless.

And before Kaworu could think, he had pinned Shinji against the wall and he was lost in Shinji's lips, in his face, in his neck, in his clothes. Before his mind could argue, Shinji's heart had made him kiss Kaworu back like his life depended on it. Before they could give it a second thought, they were caressing each other's bodies through their school uniforms. Hugging, kissing, nibbling. Loving.

I'm spinning like snow

To Shinji, it was more than magical, it was like leaving the world behind, forgotten. It was like nothing bad had ever happenned, like life was made of Kaworu's scarlet eyes, silver hair, tender smile and sweet lips. Because nothing else mattered now. Nothing existed for Shinji other than that. A simple boy. A completely normal boy with a tender smile. A boy that believed the world was Shinji. A boy that had opened his arms and held Shinji tight, close to his heart, protecting him, taking care of him. A boy called Nagisa Kaworu.

A boy who simply... loved him.

But suddenly, the school bell announced the break, causing them to pull away in a second and leaving them staring at each other, panting.

Kaworu stepped back, straightening his school jacket. Shinji separated from the wall. And the next second the boy's bathroom was flooded with students, chatting, laughing and joking. Completely unaware of what they had been about to interrupt.

I'm censing myself

--

"Where does it leaves us?" The brunette asked while filling his mouth with rice. Somehow thw question had left his lips smoothly. Somehow Kaworu had managed to make him feel at ease. Comfortable. Free.

After the morning's classes, Shinji and Kaworu had sneaked to the school's roof to share lunch. They had just arrived, and unpacked their bento lunches when Shinji spoke.

"What do you mean?" Was Kaworu's response.

"After... today... what, you know... what are we?" Shinji's confident tone disappeared, and he muttered the question shyly.

"What do you want us to be?" asked Kaworu mischievously, amused by Shinji's shyness. It was back again. He hadn't notice how much he had missed it.

"I... I guess I don't know..." Said the blue-eyed boy. Kaworu smiled. "We could be... you know..." he added.

"A couple?" asked Kaworu gently. "Do you want me to be your boyfriend, Shinji?"

Shinji blushed (of course), but nodded. The angel simply kept on smiling.

You won't return

After a moment or two, the brunette began to worry, since Kaworu hadn't answered yet. He lifted his blue eyes only to find that red gaze locked on his. Shinji didn't ask again, he could already see the answer in those blood coloured irises.

Without another thought, Kaworu closed the distance between them, softly pressing his lips against Shinji's. He stayed like that for a moment, before pushing it a bit further and kissing Shinji more passionately. The brunette responded by grabbing the silver-haired's sleeve loosely, and Kaworu entwined his long pale fingers in Shinji's hair pulling him more into the kiss.

Sorry, It's been erased

After a minute that seemed deliciously eternal, they both parted. Kaworu was the first to speak, without taking his eyes off Shinji's.

"If i said you taste like Heaven, I believe it would be a horrible understatement"

--

"They seem in love to me..." The femenine voice said matter-of-factly.

"Everyone seems in love to you" The other voice answered, in a tired tone.

Orbiting debris

"Maybe" Said the first voice, dreamily. "But that's because I'm a hopeless romantic"

"Hopeless? certainly... I don't know about 'romantic', though..." The second voice answered mockingly.

"You are just mean..." the first person whispered, but the second person said nothing this time. "I wonder what does God have against Love..." the first voice added, more to herself than to the second person.

"Nothing. He just doesn't fancy His people betraying Him. Especially those who are the closest to Him." Answered the second voice.

Traitors, Cowards

"And in any case" the second person added "you should realy not mention His name" The tone became a tone of warning.

"Mmhp? Why? Will God send his divine armies against me? I'm not afraid of him. And I couldn't care any less..." said the first voice in a neutral tone.

Lifeless immortality

"I know" answered the second voice. "But that doesn't make it a wise thing to do"

"Whatever..." the first voice said, dismissively. A couple of seconds went by. "It can't take much longer..." she said. Her voice didn't give away her feelings, whether of sadness, excitement or boredom, it was impossible to tell.

They turn, turn...

"No... it will happen soon" the second voice agreed.

"Then all we can do is wait. How boring." said the first voice. And they both looked at each other's eyes. Words were unnecesary between them. They had known each other for too long.

All my love