-1"Where is she?"
Trish turned at the sound of Harm's voice.
"Oh Darling." Trish responded.
"Where's Sarah?" His voice held the steely edge of command. "She's the key to my memory. You have to go get her."
"Darling," Trish said. "You'll see her when you get released from hospital. We'll go to Washington. You can see all your friends."
"Go get her." This time he was addressing Frank. "Please." Frank glanced at Trish. He'd never interfered with Harm's upbringing. Trish had insisted he leave things to her. He'd always believed she was wrong. It was too late to make it up to Harm, but it wasn't too late to begin to do what he thought was right. Frank was out the door before Trish could protest.
Once she helped him back into bed, Trish tried to explain.
"It's ok." Harm said abruptly. "I know you want what's best, but I'm not a kid anymore with dreams of being a fighter pilot. I'm a grown man trying to get his life back." His words wounded her and she hung her head and fell silent.
"Do you remember anything?" She asked finally.
Harm shrugged. I remember a little blue house with a big tree in the back yard. I remember the sensation of being up in the branches.
Trish smiled. "The house we lived in when you were a little boy."
"My dad." He faltered here not really wanting to open old wounds or to hurt this woman. "Can you tell me about him?"
"He's been gone a long time. Since you were five. He was a pilot too. He was shot down during the Vietnam war. We thought he was dead. I eventually remarried. But you wouldn't let it go."
"Russia." Harm said. The word had just popped into his head and with it images like a slide show; confusing and unreal.
Trish nodded. "He was sent to Russia at the end of the war. He never made it home. We only found out later because you went there to try to find him."
"Sarah was there."
Trish nodded.
It all sounded familiar, but there was something that didn't fit. A thousand pieces in a jigsaw puzzle and everyone he picked up the wrong size and shape for the holes in his life.
By the time Frank caught up to Mac she was sitting in the driver's seat of her car. The window was down, but the engine wasn't running.
Mac he called as he got close. She managed a whole hearted smile, then got out of the car. She put out her hand for him to shake, but he pushed it away and hugged her instead.
"Harm's awake and asking for you." Frank said releasing her.
Mac's mouth was pinched and she shook her head in tiny vibrations. "What would I say?"
"Be honest."
"Trish is right."
"Of course she is," Frank said. "But she's also wrong. Whatever happens now while the injury is fresh, Harm will remember. He will remember her driving you off and he will remember you giving up with out a fight. Even if he gets his memory back he won't have forgotten all of this. Come back in."
Mac nodded. "The sheriff gave me his personal effects. I could take those in. Maybe something will help him remember."
"That's the spirit" Frank said squeezing her shoulder gently. Mac carried the baggy that held Harm's watch, ring, wallet and keys. Frank shouldered Harm's duffle.
Frank led the way into the hospital room. "The sheriff brought your personal effects. We thought if you had a look, something might trigger your memory." Frank dropped the bag beside Harm on the bed.
It didn't contain much more than a change of clothes, and his shaving kit. Harm emptied it one piece at a time and Trish carefully repacked it without a word. Frank and Mac stood at the end of his bed and watched his facial expressions. As Trish folded the final item and tucked it into the bag, an orderly brought in Harm's supper tray and set it on his table. Frank took the opportunity to get Trish out of the room.
"We'll go have a bite to eat and find a place to stay the night. We'll be back in an hour or so. OK?"
Mac sat beside Harm's bed and watched him eat. He offered her the red jello, and was surprised when she ate it.
"When Trish and Frank get back, you should go get a meal and find a place to sleep that has a bed."
"Yeah, I think maybe we'll all sleep better if I'm not underfoot." She meant it in a way to make him laugh, but they both heard it and took it the wrong way.
"I don't know what she said to you," Harm began, "but stay as long as you can."
Mac nodded. "No promises, but I'll hang around until tomorrow anyway?" Harm pushed the table away from his bedside and picked up the plastic baggy. He fingered the items through the plastic feeling slightly odd. Finally he unzipped it and handled the watch and the ring. He put on the watch, snapping the catch with practiced ease and slid the ring on the right finger the first time. Both pieces felt right. He looked at the keys briefly and then handed them to Sarah to slip into the pocket on the outside of the duffle.
Finally he handled the wallet. It was a smooth black leather billfold with his initials on the cover. He poked at the bills and eyed his driver's license, and credit cards. Then he began a more methodical inventory. Along side the bills lay a white numbered tag from a drycleaner with a DC address. He glanced at the blank backside and slipped it back where he'd found. From the inside pockets, he found a yellow receipt for car parts folded and worn along the edges, a business card from a plumber and one dog eared photograph of a woman holding a baby.
"This is you" he said handing the picture to Sarah. She nodded and smiled remembering the day.
"Little AJ at his Christening." She handed the photo back.
"AJ?".
"He's the son of Bud and Harriet. They work at JAG too. Bud's a lawyer. Harriet works in the office. When AJ was born they asked us to be his godparents. This is the day of his Christening. You must have taken the picture. I've never seen it before."
He looked at the photo. It seemed an odd choice to Harm. A photo of the baby and his parents would have made more sense, or even a photo of himself and the kid. But a photo of AJ and Sarah. The ache was back filling him with despair. There was a life here somewhere, a life filled with adventure and joy, but now every detail only brought him pain.
He turned the photo over. Mac was all it said.
"Who's Mac?" He asked.
Sarah grinned. "Me." She said.
Harm looked startled for an instant then sat up in bed and grabbed her hand. "Mac, short for Mackenzie. All my friends call me Mac. Right!"
'Of course Harm."
He was laughing now. "That's what was missing. I couldn't figure you out. You said your name was Sarah and every time I saw you I thought I love this woman. But I knew it wasn't Sarah that I loved. I kept thinking you must have a twin. But there aren't two of you - just one with two names. Mac." Harm shut his eyes tight and lay back on the pillow. Mac tried to move her hand from his grasp, but he clung all the tighter.
His eyes opened and he leaned towards her. "I should get the doctor Harm. You remember right?"
"Of course I remember. I'm in love with you Mac. Don't marry Brumby. I'd be lost without you. Worse than the last couple of days. Don't marry Brumby. You have to promise me."
"Harm I've already promised him. I can't just. Just because you have your memory back. We work together. You have a girlfriend."
"It's nothing Mac. Don't you see. I lost you. When I couldn't remember I felt so alone, and then you showed up and everything was better. Even without my memory I knew how I felt. Renee's done with me anyway and you don't love Brumby."
"We work together."
"You keep saying that Mac. But it doesn't really matter. We can work it out."
Mac looked down at the big diamond. She thought of the commitment she'd made to Brumby. She thought about her work and she thought about Renee. Finally she looked up at Harm. She heard Frank's encouragement. "Be honest." She heard Trish's words. "Have you told him?"
"All the way here, when I thought you might die." She said, "All I could think was how much I loved you. How much I love you" she repeated "and you would never know."
Harm gave her a warm smile. "You're wrong" he said. "It's the only thing I could remember When everything else was gone. I knew that you loved me. I knew that I loved you." The big grin was back and this time Mac returned it. "Give us a chance to work this out Mac. I love you."
It was more that she hoped for from Harm. The doctor had said something about the concussion and amnesia resulting in a behaviour change. If this was the new Harm, Mac couldn't have been happier.
This isn't really the end of course, but it's a happy spot to pause and catch my breath. No promises - but I'm working on a little epilogue, because of course there are two other people with a stake in this situation and neither of them are the "what ever will be, will be" type. Thanks for reading. - Dix.