Author's note: I've been holding back. I didn't know where this chapter ended and the next one began. I guess it's because I hate who Mic Brumby is in this chapter and Mac says one thing and does another so ... Happy yelling at the computer screen. - Dix

Chapter 11 - Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover or What was she thinking?!

When Mic stumbled into the apartment he shared with Sarah a little after 1 am. He was surprised to find her there. She was curled into a tight ball, breathing evenly. He stripped off his clothes and slid between the sheets. He had occasionally reached for her in that time of half waking before dawn and found her responsive. The thought of taking two woman in close succession aroused him. When he reached for her in the darkness, he was surprised by her response. For a woman who had planned to throw him over, at least according to Renee, she was willing and he was soon rolling off her and sleeping.

--

Mac sat quietly on the edge of the bed. She looked across at Mic, asleep in the morning half light. As she looked at him, she knew finally and without reservation what she wanted. Being a marine had taught her many things, the foundation of which was that risk was often necessary. Clinging to the safety of her relationship with Mic wouldn't necessarily make her any happier than risking everything on a life with Harm, but at least when it was all over she'd have no regrets.

"Mic did we make love last night." Mac's voice pierced his sleep. His eyes fluttered open and then quickly shut at the light. Mac was sitting on the edge of the bed; her dressing gown wrapped tightly around her.

Mic moved slightly to let her know he was waking, but kept his eyes lowered to give himself a moment to gather his thoughts. He had to present the truth, the half truth and the lies as whole cloth.

He yawned and stretched. Rolling over he levered himself up on one elbow. "I was so glad you were home." He said softly, smiling as he reached for her. She had turned on the bed to see his face. He squeezed her arm. "You never minded before."

She bit her lip and she gave the belt of her house coat a firm tug. "Did you use a condom?"

He sat up in bed then. "Are you spoiling for a fight?" He said with an edge. "No I didn't."

"Oh." She said quietly.

"What's the matter? Sarah? We're getting married. We want babies, Right."

She shook her head imperceptibly and took a deep breath to steady her nerves.

"I think I made a mistake, Mic."

He braced himself and waited. No point presenting the defence until he'd at least heard the prosecution.

She twisted the ring on her finger. "It's not what I want."

"You don't want to get married and have a family? Or you don't want to do it with me?"

"Mic." She knew she was cutting his heart out, but it was necessary surgery. "I can't marry you."

"Bloody Rabb. You've got my ring on your finger. What did he do, tell you he loved you?" Mac nodded. "Well I love you Sarah, that hasn't changed." He rolled out of bed and began to shove his legs into the pants he'd stepped out of the night before. "And I'm not getting out of the way for him." His voice was too loud in the small room.

She stood up to face him, her resolve shifting. "I've always loved him, Mic."

"So what? Have either of you made one single step to be with one another, ever." He moved so they were nose to nose. "You've had lots of opportunities. You told me yourself you'd never slept with him."

"It's for the best Mic. You have the opportunity to reinstate your commission. I can't marry you and have you wonder what would have happened if you'd gone back."

"It's me you're worried about is it?" When she didn't respond he said "Or maybe you think that Rabb will make a commitment. He runs hot and cold that guy. He only wants what he can't have. You watch. If I leave, he won't find you half as attractive or interesting."

Her right hand came up with swift fury and she would have landed it across his cheek, but he caught her by the wrist. He hung his head but he didn't let go.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that." He lowered his voice. She stepped back to pull away, but he still didn't let go. "I love you Sarah." He said in a whisper. "I can't imagine life without you." With gentle pressure he pulled her to a sitting position beside him on the bed.

Mic looked into her eyes and tenderly pushed the hair off her face with his hand. He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers once and twice before she responded. He moved forward carefully; holding and kissing her, caressing her. He reminded her over and over again, how much he cared for her. He reminded her of all he'd given up so be with her. It took some time before she was ready. They made love in a heated rush across the rumpled covers of the bed, but this time he was careful to use a condom. All the time she was thinking that this is goodbye and he was thinking I haven't lost her yet.

Afterwards she showered and dressed in a hurry. He met her at the door with a mug of coffee and a muffin. "I really am sorry Mic." She said. He kissed her cheek, gave her breakfast and closed the door behind her.

AN - Thanks for reading - I'm working really hard to get through the next section (it's giving me grief) and will post it as soon as I can. The end is written. For those of you with murderous intent - I'll tell you now - no one dies, not even Brumby. Harm and Mac in jail is not a story line I want to write. - Dix