Did anybody else feel like episode 168 was just like watching fanfic, cause I did. And just how long were those guys away in the living world anyway if no one remembers them? Sorry, I just need to vent. It was filler anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter, but still. Actually, I shouldn't knock filler, since the whole HitsuKarin thing came from filler in the first place. Hmmm.
Whistling casually to himself, Renji strolled down the hall towards the 9th squad office, paper article clutched in his hand. He was rather proud of himself for finishing it before lunch.
"Rukia!" he called. "You in here?" Formalities were thin on the ground in 9th squad to begin with, and Renji was too close to both Rukia and Ichigo to care. He threw the door open.
"Guess not," he answered his own question. "Well, I guess I'll just leave it here." He went to Rukia's desk to deposit his article when he saw the box of chocolates. He smirked.
"Must be to thank everyone who gets their article in on time," he assumed. Rukia was not above incentives. Renji picked up a piece of chocolate and studied it.
"It's a shame that it's so hard," he said with a frown. "Chocolate's only really good when it's soft and melty. Well, if I hold onto it for a while, that should do the trick!" He tossed the piece up into the air, caught it back handed, and left the office, still playing with his food.
ooooooooooooooooooooo
"Strawberry-chan!" Yachiru cried cheerily, bounding into the 9th squad office. "I've got my article! It's about Ken-chan…" but her excitement fell as she saw the deserted office.
"Aw," she pouted. "And I wanted to play." But her face lit up almost immediately as she saw the box sitting invitingly on Rukia's desk.
"Chocolate!" she exclaimed, and wasted no time in grabbing a handful and plopping down on the floor to gorge herself.
A while later, Yachiru had eaten more than her fair share, but she still had several pieces remaining.
"Fukutaicho!" called a voice in the hall. "Where did you run off to? Zaraki taicho's looking for you!" The door slid open.
"Ah, there you are!" Ikkaku said. But before he could take a single step into the room, a mass of bright pink had glommed onto him and was kissing every square inch of his bald head and face she could reach with her chocolate covered lips.
"What the hell!?" Ikkaku screamed, thoroughly covered in chocolate lip prints.
"You're so cute, Cue-Ball-chan!" she said gleefully. "Let's play together!" Ikkaku was about to pry her off, when his tongue accidently licked the chocolate that had rubbed off of Yachiru's face and onto the corner of his mouth. And suddenly, he felt more emotion than he ever had in his entire life. For once, he felt something other than the desire to kill. It was strange, but he felt very warm towards Yachiru, like all he wanted to do was be with her and make her happy.
"Sure!" he agreed, lifting her onto his shoulder like a well trained monkey. "What do you want to play?" Yachiru thought about that for a moment.
"Hmm," she mused. "I know! Let's go find feather-chan and tease him about his hair!" Ikkaku smirked at how much that would annoy Yumichka. Normally, he hated when Yachiru bothered them, but for some reason, maybe because it was Yachiru's suggestion, it sounded rather appealing.
"Alright, let's do it!" he cried, and he ran from the office, Yachiru bouncing happily on his shoulder, still holding her handful of chocolate.
ooooooooooooooooooooo
Heads turned as they reached 11th squad.
"What's Ikkaku doing with the fukutaicho?" they wondered. "And why's his head covered in brown lip marks?" But they were all too afraid of Ikkaku to actually ask him why he was tickling Yachiru and laughing his head off.
Finally, they found Yumichka.
"Oi, rainbow-head!" Ikkaku called and both he and Yachiru snickered. Yumichka turned around, his head held high.
"I assume you weren't referring to me, Ikkaku?" he said with dignity.
"Hee hee, rainbow-head-chan!" Yachiru giggled. "I like that one better than feather-chan! Ok, it's officially your new nickname. Thanks sweetheart!" she said joyfully, kissing the top of Ikkaku's head. Ikkaku actually blushed.
"How ugly," Yumichka snorted. "What's gotten into you two?" Ikkaku placed his arm around Yachiru, holding her protectively on his shoulder.
"Don't you think the fukutaicho is just the cutest little thing?" he said in a voice that most certainly did not belong to him.
"Cutest little thing?" Yumichka said in disgust. Yachiru grinned manically.
"Aw, don't be sad rainbow-head-chan!" she cooed. "Here, have a chocolate!" She tossed him a chocolate from her handful and Yumichka caught it. He eyed it warily.
"Go on," Yachiru prompted. Yumichka sighed then ate the chocolate.
"See, doesn't that make you feel better?" Yachiru said happily. But Yumichka was listening.
"Ikkaku," he gasped. "Why have I never realized how unbelievably handsome you are?!"
"Huh?" Ikkaku said in shock. But it was too late. Before Ikkaku could even get a proper question out, his mouth was occupied by Yumichka's.
"Gross!" Ikkaku screamed, yanking away from Yumichka's kiss. "What the heck are you thinking?!"
"But Ikkaku…" Yumichka said hopefully, but before he could finish, he was being attacked by a very angry Yachiru.
"You leave my sweety alone!" she insisted, biting his head. "He's mine, you hear me! Mine! Come on cutie-pie!" She jumped into Ikkaku's waiting arms, who ran off with her. Yachiru glanced over Ikkaku's shoulder and stuck out her tongue at Yumichka.
"Wait, my love, don't leave me!" Yumichka pleaded, chasing after them. It took a while and several short cuts, but finally, Ikkaku and Yachiru managed to shake Yumichka off their tail.
"Whew, that was ridiculous," Ikkaku panted. "What the heck was he doing anyway?"
"Don't know," Yachiru replied. "But it sure was fun! Ah, Ken-chan!" Zaraki Kenpachi had just turned the corner.
"There you are Yachiru," Zaraki said gruffly. "I've been looking for you."
"Zaraki taicho!" Ikkaku said, startled. "The fukutaicho and I were playing a game." Zaraki raised an eyebrow.
"I can see that," he replied. "What's with the chocolate marks?"
"It's delicious Ken-chan!" Yachiru said excitedly. "Here, have one!"
"I hate choco…" he started to say, but was cut off as Yachiru shoved a piece into his mouth.
"Disgusting!" Zaraki yelled, turning his head away from them to spit the piece out; but not before swallowing some. "Yachiru, I'm going to kill you!" But Yachiru wasn't around to hear his threat. Ikkaku had felt that she was safer being as a far away from an angry Zaraki as possible and had shunpoed away from the scene of the crime before Zaraki had turned back around.
Grumbling angrily about candy and where he would like to see it all end up, Zaraki headed back through 11th squad looking for someone to vent his anger on. (And just in case you're curious, there is only one woman in 11th squad, and that is Yachiru fukutaicho herself, who is currently on the move with her newfound lover/playmate.)
Kudos to Lillix Vail who correctly guessed Yumichka and Ikkaku! Unfortunately, it doesn't work the other way around because Ikkaku isn't gay, but if you want me to write you a oneshot anyway, just let me know.